Insensitive spouse

KDar1988
KDar1988 Posts: 648 Member
in Motivation and Support
Yesterday I cleared 6 garbage bags of clothes out of my closet. All clothes I wore 106lbs ago. Felt good to get rid of them until my husband says "what are you going to wear when you get fat again?" Why was that necessary? I wonder if I could dump him the donation bin?
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Replies

  • snowflake930
    snowflake930 Posts: 2,188 Member
    edited June 2016
    Not nice at all. Sounds like a good solution putting him in the donation bin, LOL
    My DH was the opposite, I had the boxes packed and stacked to go to Goodwill for 18 months before I actually took them to Goodwill. I kept on telling him, what if I gain back all that weight and have to buy new clothes.
  • MissusMoon
    MissusMoon Posts: 1,900 Member
    Holy moly, jerk move! Yesterday I filled bags for donation and my hubby told me I was "awesome". I'm forgiving and like to move on, but that would make my blood boil and I'd have a difficult time getting over that one.

    I completely understand not leaving that stuff around to make it easier to gain weight. You are awesome. He should appreciate that, but even if he doesn't--remember your accomplishments in weight loss aren't up for debate.
  • JaneSnowe
    JaneSnowe Posts: 1,283 Member
    KDar1988 wrote: »
    Yesterday I cleared 6 garbage bags of clothes out of my closet. All clothes I wore 106lbs ago. Felt good to get rid of them until my husband says "what are you going to wear when you get fat again?" Why was that necessary? I wonder if I could dump him the donation bin?

    I hope he's not like that all the time. :/

    Congratulations on your weight loss!
  • mommazach
    mommazach Posts: 384 Member
    I gave away my last size up over the weekend. Worked out great for me. I gave 7 pairs, and ended up getting 3 skinny ones in return. Tell your Darling He's next if he doesn't watch it. My snookum snort is 318 and on the gain. I like to encourage him, but not by nagging, but by not cooking the crap he wants to eat. If he was actually home all the time he'd lose weight, but he's 2 on and 1 off, so the other 2 weeks he eats like crap.
  • CharlieBeansmomTracey
    CharlieBeansmomTracey Posts: 7,682 Member
    getting rid of all my "fat" clothes is what keeps me going on trying to not gain weight. I know if I go back to the way I was I will have to buy bigger clothing and probably go back on meds again. no thanks. But your hubby should not have said that to you at all. I would talk to him about those kinds of remarks.
  • a_candler
    a_candler Posts: 209 Member
    Boo men can be so insensitive at times. I'd sit him down and explain how his comment hurt, and that you expect better from him.

  • 1shedev
    1shedev Posts: 144 Member
    That was uncalled for.
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,741 Member
    Congrats on your success! And for being able to get rid of all that baggage.

    Was he just kidding? Did you respond? I know you didn't ask for advice, so I hope it was just a comment made without thinking first. If he truly thinks you'll gain the weight back all you can do is prove him wrong.
  • butterfli7o
    butterfli7o Posts: 1,319 Member
    Wow. That comment would truly hurt me. I hope he was just kidding around. What you've done is a fabulous accomplishment.
  • ncfitbit
    ncfitbit Posts: 1,058 Member
    If it were anyone but my husband, a comment like that would probably strengthen my resolve to never gain any weight back. But since it was your husband, let's hope your husband was joking or even half-joking. Or maybe he is genuinely worried you will gain the weight back and doesn't know how to discuss it with you. Men sometimes lack words to discuss their feelings.
  • amandalyn44
    amandalyn44 Posts: 6 Member
    Ugh! I hate the lack of support. Mine told me yesterday when I told him I was getting back on the horse I needed to make my mind up, do it or don't because it confuses him. So frustrating.
  • JButlerEagle
    JButlerEagle Posts: 45 Member
    Good for you "shrinking out" of your old clothes. Good for you for getting rid of them!
  • skinnyforhi
    skinnyforhi Posts: 340 Member
    Is this an isolated comment, or is he generally like this? That would inform my response a great deal.
  • snowflake930
    snowflake930 Posts: 2,188 Member
    ncfitbit wrote: »
    If it were anyone but my husband, a comment like that would probably strengthen my resolve to never gain any weight back. But since it was your husband, let's hope your husband was joking or even half-joking. Or maybe he is genuinely worried you will gain the weight back and doesn't know how to discuss it with you. Men sometimes lack words to discuss their feelings.

    ^^ or, maybe he is feeling insecure about the newer, sexier you.

    Congrats on the loss!



  • pondee629
    pondee629 Posts: 2,469 Member
    Congratulations on your success. Re: Hubby's ill advised comment. Any chance you have yo-yoed before and he's speaking from past experience? Smile and prove him wrong.
  • LuckyNumbers
    LuckyNumbers Posts: 208 Member
    Husbands can be real dunces sometimes. After I missed a day of C25K (no big deal, I can do it the next day), DH said to me, "I don't even know why you bother if you're just gonna not do it and make excuses," and blah, blah, blah.

    He is normally otherwise an amazing husband, but really, dude? Think before you start spewing crap out of your mouth ... Just prove him wrong, hon.
  • goldthistime
    goldthistime Posts: 3,213 Member
    Annoying, I'm sure, but you've had the willpower and commitment to lose 106lbs (high five on that), I'm thinking that you won't find it that tough to shake that comment off. Go you!
  • monih10
    monih10 Posts: 577 Member
    Uh....NO!!
  • Hauntinglyfit
    Hauntinglyfit Posts: 5,537 Member
    I don't find that comment all that insensitive.
  • CharlieBeansmomTracey
    CharlieBeansmomTracey Posts: 7,682 Member
    LuckyNumbers wrote: »
    Husbands can be real dunces sometimes. After I missed a day of C25K (no big deal, I can do it the next day), DH said to me, "I don't even know why you bother if you're just gonna not do it and make excuses," and blah, blah, blah.

    He is normally otherwise an amazing husband, but really, dude? Think before you start spewing crap out of your mouth ... Just prove him wrong, hon.

    yeah they tend to speak before thinking. mine is like that sometimes
  • JaneSnowe
    JaneSnowe Posts: 1,283 Member
    KDar1988 wrote: »
    Thanks for the kind words everyone :) I have been a yo-yo dieter all my life so he's seen me at my biggest and now I'm almost at the weight I was when we met 30 years ago! Yikes, that sounds like forever! He does make snarky comments sometimes at the reason of "I am just joking". But my confidence level is coming up as the weight is going down and I give it right back to him. I don't let him walk all over me anymore like I've let most people do in my life. I will not let his attitude get me down. I'll prove him wrong! Thanks again! <3

    You sound like you have a good attitude! If he's been otherwise supportive, I'd bet it was his practical side talking before his filter kicked in. :)
  • haroldrios1692
    haroldrios1692 Posts: 90 Member
    That's not something you say to anyone let alone your wife. It's definitely not constructive, how awesome would it be if you took that comment and used it in a small way to motivate yourself to get really fit. That be so fulfilling
  • KDar1988
    KDar1988 Posts: 648 Member
    haroldrios1692 wrote: »
    That's not something you say to anyone let alone your wife. It's definitely not constructive, how awesome would it be if you took that comment and used it in a small way to motivate yourself to get really fit. That be so fulfilling

    I agree. Words cut deeper than a knife. I won't let it stop me!
  • CharleneD80
    CharleneD80 Posts: 29 Member
    Maybe he's worried you will leave him

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