Frustrated with myself! Venting beware...

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Nikkerz620
Nikkerz620 Posts: 212 Member
in Motivation and Support
:huh: So, this week has really gotten to me about my weight. Nothing fits anymore and I mean nothing and not in a good way. I'm just getting bigger and bigger and becoming more and more frustrated. Sucks that I have no inperson support. Everyone on here is soooo great but it's easy to just say f logging everything an d not to even log in. So tired of logging and logging and then seeing how I screw up and it makes me feel worse. Since January I've wanted to try so hard but haven't. I've gained about 5 lbs. Not a lot but enough. I'm almost up to 200lbs. OMG! WTF! Last year at this time I was 165.

What bothers me the most is that last summer I was at my goal and then I went on meds and the weight just wouldn't stop coming on not matter what I did. I made the decision to go off the meds but I can't lose the weight. now.

Its really starting to affect my life too. I don't want to go out in public without a huge sweatshirt and jeans on and its HOT! I want to hide and feel so gross all the time. Fricken boobs don't stay in my bra because they are so big now and it's make me feel even worse. I'm so uncomfortable that it makes me crabby too.

For as bad as I feel I don't see why I can't get motivated. Why I'm lazy and end up not working out as hard if at all. After all this and after everything I have available to me at home and at work for working out you would think I would be so motivated and use what I have but I don't. There are so many others out there that have less at their fingertips and less time and are doing great!

So tired of beating myself up and whinning like a little baby but I just can't seem to find the motivation I need to do this.

I have a concert on 10/4 that I want to feel great at so I have fun and a friends wedding on 11/4 and my 30th 11/14 just more reason to get motivated. Not working...

It's coming to the point where I feel like I have to just eat like a rabbit and just workout workout workout or just give up entirely ans accept who I am some how.

My diary sucks right now because for a week or so I said screw it and didn't log a thing.

Sorry to vent...

Any words of advice? I know I see threads like this all the time. Anyone been where I'm at and overcome it?

Replies

  • Aid_B
    Aid_B Posts: 427
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    Sorry no words of advice but "hang in there" , there are a lot of people out there at the minute, myself included who feel exactly the same way
  • syiyi
    syiyi Posts: 341 Member
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    DON'T GIVE UP!
  • Learning2LuvLindsay
    Learning2LuvLindsay Posts: 1,142 Member
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    l totally felt like you were talking about me when I was reading this post. Last year I got on some anti depressents to deal with some personal issues I was having. Well I put on at least 25 pounds while on the pills. This was after I had lost a good deal of weight and was on the road to living a healthy lifestyle. A few months ago I got off the pills because of the weight gain and now I cannot lose weight at all. The scale keeps going up! It dosent help that this is really effecting me emotionally and I feel like a failure.

    I would love to know how people have overcame this type of thing as well.

    The only advice I can provide is keep your head up and dont give up! Good luck!
  • lins_crafters
    lins_crafters Posts: 18
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    Im feeling the same way at the moment. I was doing so good then bam I had to log a 3 lb GAIN earlier this week... It sucks big time. I feel like no matter how much I work out or how little I eat the fat just clings on for dear life.
  • noturmom
    noturmom Posts: 18
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    Perhaps start by talking to your doc about the effects the medication has had on your body? I was an average 160lbs, gained till I was about 220lbs and now am back down to 180lbs. Took me quite awhile- and I like to think I'm dedicated at working out, don't get frustrated! All kinds of things in life make you gain or make it difficult to lose weight, you CAN do it!
  • Dootzy1
    Dootzy1 Posts: 2,220 Member
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    You are so beautiful, and I hope you can get your head in the right place to take care of yourself. Okay, most of us can identify with your feelings at some point in time. The medication related weight gain was out of your control... so don't beat yourself up about it. I have found that if I love myself as I am right now, I will take better care of myself. Self-hate is defeatist. The other thing is, treat yourself as if you were your own best friend, and just make a small manageable change... you know how to do this. Build on small successes. Then, when your special events come up, take the time to showcase all the best parts of yourself, even if you're not at the "goal" weight, etc. You are worth it!!!! Take it one snack, one meal, one workout at a time. And give yourself a pat on the back. DON'T look back...... It's a recipe for staying stuck....
  • SeasideOasis
    SeasideOasis Posts: 1,057 Member
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    I've been where you are. Working hard, not seeing results, medication being a pain (I too took myself of medication within the past couple of months), and all that. I fell off the bandwagon for about a month. I re-centered myself. Asked myself WHY and WHAT am I doing all of this for.

    When I came back to MFP (well, I was also here, but just logging properly and stuff), I tried zig zag dieting (well, calorie eating), and reminded myself daily what my goals are. In three weeks, I've lost 5 pounds (nothing for the first 6 months of my journey). I dont check the scale frequently, as it hindered me, and I reminded myself, this is a process, its not going to happen overnight!

    Just remember, the only person standing your way is you! Once you set your mind to it, you can find a way to make it happen. Ive been supplementing protein powder drinks for snacks, and super greens for extra nutrition and I'm SO happy! I still have 35 pounds to go, but I feel motivated.
  • vick9180
    vick9180 Posts: 144 Member
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    For now, it sounds like the best motivator might be to find a work out buddy. Someone that you're accountable for and that if you don't show up, they'll let you know. If you're not finding motivation in the events that you have coming up in your life, maybe you just need accountability. It's easy to not log on to a website, but not as easy to let down a friend. Once you get some workouts in and are feeling better about doing something towards a healthy lifestyle, then you can focus more on your nutrition. But for now, just find that someone to keep you accountable. Ask friends on Facebook, or see if there's anyone local to you who's on this site that would like to work out with you.

    Best of luck!
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    Ok, so now you've vented and it's time to come up with an action plan. No need to overwhelm yourself as I'm thinking maybe that's been the problem in the past, too much pressure, not enough support, too frustrating - give up.

    How about this week, you just log everything and don't worry too much about staying in your calories. The next week, try exercising at least 30 minutes 3 days of the week. I give this as a 2nd step because even if you're not hitting your calories for day, exercising will help by burning some of those extras off. After you feel comfortable with the exercise regime and logging, try working on tweaking your daily meals to fit into the calorie goals better. Planning helps a lot in this regard so when you go grocery shopping think about what you want to eat for the whole week including breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks.

    Good luck and feel free to add me as a friend!
  • abbyko
    abbyko Posts: 108
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    If you don't mind my asking, what kind of medication where you on?

    My sister was on antidepressants after being seriously ill and they made her gain a lot of weight and she didn't start to loose it until she'd been off of them for almost a year. Plus they really screwed with her system so it was really hard for her, she was eating a very healthy and running, nothing was working, for over a year.

    She ended up talking to the lady that runs our natural foods store and she suggested that my sister try taking Cortisol. When you're really stressed a lack of cortisol can make you gain weight. She took that, 5HTP, and Brad King Lean Engery and it really made a difference. It took a month or two to see a difference but it really worked and gave her a ton of energy where before she was struggling. She's pretty much weaned off them now too. But it really kick started everything for her.

    Look into it. Research what the supplements do online. None of them are a miracle diet pill but if you're struggling with energy and nothing seems to be working this could really help.
  • tauny78
    tauny78 Posts: 180 Member
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    Don't give up on yourself! I know how you feel, really, and I think a lot of people do. I used to be very skinny, and now I'm 200 lbs! Sometimes I HATE my body, but anymore I can usually find some kind of peace with how I look. Of course, I still want to lose weight, but not just to look better. May I suggest a small shopping trip? Especially for some new bras. A good fitting pretty bra can do wonders! :) I have recently become somewhat addicted to Victoria's Secret since cheaper bras just don't fit me anymore. A couple nice fitting outfits can also help, you just have to be willing to admit, you need to go up a few sizes. But, it will help you feel better when you can look in the mirror and see, yes, I can still look good! And I agree with noturmom about talking to your doc, the medication probably has a bit of a lasting affect on your body, and may just take more time to adjust to not being on it anymore. Just hang in there, don't be so hard on yourself, and please don't give up on food either! I know, it's both our worst enemy and our best friend! Just try to find some balance in your life. :)
  • RuchikaPal
    RuchikaPal Posts: 313 Member
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    i feel the same dear!
    Jus last year i was around 60 kgs... and just after an year i am 75.. i gained 15 kgs in jus one year.... its all due to my bad lifestyle..im doing everything wrong!
    nothing fits me... i now wear my dadz old lose t-shirts.., even they have started to feel tight... every single person i meeet gets shocked to see the new me... in a bad way ofcourse....

    and even i go into the depression phase quite now and then.... i avoid socialising now... and its like i have totally given up....

    I had come across this site sometime ago, but never used it.... yesterday on someone's suggestion is started using it.. and its great to seee people hwo think just like me are here and sharing their sorrows, pain... happiness..success with me......

    A new ray of hope is there.... you should feeel that too my dear..... i iwish someday we can post in the "Success story" coloumn... and very proudly share our pictures and story of OUR journey with everyone.....

    PLEASE... PLEASE don't lose hope..... we can't afford to lose hope.. thats all we have!!!!!

    we all have to do this together.....

    All the best!!!!

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