NSV or insult.. you decide.

Ree_Chatelain
Ree_Chatelain Posts: 229 Member
edited September 29 in Success Stories
Maybe i'm just being sensitive but today someone at work asked me if I was dating. I said no, she replied "oh well you look good now, you should be able to get a boyfriend" ... umm thanks. I didn't know how to respond to that. Does that mean before I was so grotesque I couldn't get a man.

Replies

  • blackchick41bb
    blackchick41bb Posts: 60
    dont worry about the past,maybe she see u as a different person lately.looking good shows,so enjoy it
  • babygurl48
    babygurl48 Posts: 1,237 Member
    No, it doens't mean u were grotesque!! It means that some people need a good kick in the behind, cause they have no class when talking to people! Could also be jealousy on their behalf. Be proud of what u have accomplished and pay no mind to what others say!
  • fridayjustleft04
    fridayjustleft04 Posts: 851 Member
    I hate back handed compliments, and that's exactly what that is. I'd try to shrug it off and think that she's just bad with words.
  • thenewkarisa
    thenewkarisa Posts: 207
    she was just used to seeing you that she didnt notice how you look til you lost something... thats my thought
  • megansprague
    megansprague Posts: 57
    I hate back handed compliments, and that's exactly what that is. I'd try to shrug it off and think that she's just bad with words.

    Definitely a backhanded compliment but also a NSV? This person sounds like a silly person (unless they're not, I'm just going by her comment) but you probably look really great and she isn't positive enough to say it! Anyways, focus on the good part? I'd probably be pissed but sort of happy, too. Mostly pissed.
  • artist444
    artist444 Posts: 25 Member
    Some people are just rude!!! I agree with the others she just seems to be bad with words! Try to see the positive she was def. giving you a a compliment! Just in a really bad way! You know you look good !
  • TamTamLove88
    TamTamLove88 Posts: 62
    I would be insulted
  • heathersmilez
    heathersmilez Posts: 2,579 Member
    What a passive aggressive bit**! Ignore her from now on, don’t sink to her level.
  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,423 Member
    It's an NRV - because you are looking good. But also a rude comment - how you isn't going to be that much of a factor in "getting a boyfriend" (terrible phrase, terrible attitude!).
  • realme56
    realme56 Posts: 1,093 Member
    I am perturbed by it and the implications that we need to improve our outsides to get a man. I am a very happy single female, batteries are much less of a bother than a man. I was spoiled by my father and my sister's husband (she was 17y older), I think men like that are impossible to find these days.

    As with others I believe the problem lies with her, she probably is unable to feel complete without a man and sees it as the only reason to improve yourself.
  • minnie86
    minnie86 Posts: 187
    I would say something like that and I don't like it when someone says it to me...but sometimes people mean no harm.
    Besides what she mean, I think you should feel super proud of your accomplishment. More power to you! Not only have you lost weight. You've demonstrated to be hard worker and perseverant person.
    So yes, maybe you are more beautiful because you are a winner!
  • minus40
    minus40 Posts: 112 Member
    She's obviously just jealous! You look good, girl! WTG!
  • djkymba
    djkymba Posts: 174
    my standard reply to the backhanded compliment...
    uh, thanks, I think.
    I'm sure she meant it nicely, it just came out wrong. a lot of people don't have a brain-mouth connection all the time, myself included.
  • PA21
    PA21 Posts: 95 Member
    It's called a "compli-sult" a compliment and an insult put together, only highly intelligent people can pull it off.
    That's called a "sarcasta-planation" which is a sarcastic explanation.
    People are so dumb as a whole- it's amazing when one opens their mouth and all of humanity's dumbness comes out of one, tiny hole.
    Get it girl- haters gonna hate.
  • rc630
    rc630 Posts: 310 Member
    It's possible that what she meant was along the lines of "you look so good now that it's surprising you don't have a boyfriend because a lot more guys are probably attracted to you"
    If she's an otherwise sweet person, or if she's not very smart and didn't think about what implications her statement had, then I wouldn't be too offended. If she's not a very nice person though, I'd just start thinking of snappy comebacks for if it happens again.
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