Self esteem/pool issues...

skinnyminimoni
skinnyminimoni Posts: 201
edited September 29 in Motivation and Support
Ok. I just got back from a mini-vacation at a resort, and while there I spent quite a bit of time at the pool. I'm a size 14, and I'm quite a bit smaller than I used to be (16/18, leaning towards the 18). I have a one-piece leopard print bathing suit that is slimming--it accentuates my natural curves nicely but hides the...erm...not-so-nice curves ;)

My problem is this: every time I saw a girl who weighed less than me--I'm talking my age, not a 14 year old--I felt like I weighed 400 pounds. I wanted to crawl back up onto my beach chair and wrap up in my towel and never be seen again. I've never had great self esteem, but it's been getting LOADS better since I've started losing weight...until that happened.

Does this happen to anyone else?

Replies

  • texasladysv
    texasladysv Posts: 103 Member
    yes, & I hope there are more responses,,,, I'm not sure how to combat this one...
  • Andee08
    Andee08 Posts: 147 Member
    YES! I think this happens to a lot of us...now I just looking at people at thinking...I can't wait to look like that!
  • Seajolly
    Seajolly Posts: 1,435 Member
    It's tough being surrounded by good looking people, but just use it as motivation to get to your goal. :smile: We can all do this!
  • CrazyAdventure
    CrazyAdventure Posts: 113 Member
    Oh yea. Like tonight I was at my husband's work outing and there are tons of skinny women that work for his company. I just want to pile on a hoodie and sit in a corner...and it's like 100 degress outside lol. But it definitely is good motivation!
  • heathersmilez
    heathersmilez Posts: 2,579 Member
    You should go on a cruise next time. If you weigh <200 lbs you'll look positively anorexic in comparison, it's awesome!!
  • heathersmilez
    heathersmilez Posts: 2,579 Member
    .
  • kalelwifey
    kalelwifey Posts: 172
    YES! I think this happens to a lot of us...now I just looking at people at thinking...I can't wait to look like that!

    heck yeah..loll i dont even feel bad anymore because i know im working on it! its motivation for me! i look at people and just think....Just you wait! loll Keep your head up girl!
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
    I do the same exact thing. And I need to stop! :explode:
  • bjohs
    bjohs Posts: 1,225 Member
    It takes a very strong woman not to judge her own body when next to someone more fit. You are not alone. :) But you are doing great so far in your journey. Just take that moment and use it to drive yourself even further! Pretty soon it will be other women judging their bodies because you are at the pool!
  • kimberg75
    kimberg75 Posts: 412 Member
    You should go on a cruise next time. If you weigh <200 lbs you'll look positively anorexic in comparison, it's awesome!!
    That's a riot!!
  • Cosmic_Unicorn
    Cosmic_Unicorn Posts: 150 Member
    Remember that no matter how much you weigh, you are somebody's goal weight. =) If you go to that pool in your nice new bathing suit and enjoy yourself with confidence, those other women will find some reason to be jealous. And if that doesn't make you feel better, then forget them. You worked hard and deserve to feel proud of your progress.
  • brittanydittman
    brittanydittman Posts: 86
    Yes! im the same way :o/ I used to be in size 17/18 pants and now im in 10/12ish.... i still wont wear a bathing suit w/out shorts in public!
  • skinnyminimoni
    skinnyminimoni Posts: 201
    You should go on a cruise next time. If you weigh <200 lbs you'll look positively anorexic in comparison, it's awesome!!

    Oh there were plenty of women that I thought, "There but for the grace of God go I..." :laugh:
  • AliBlake29
    AliBlake29 Posts: 12
    I think all women have had this problem at some point or another. The main thing is to learn to love yourself for who you are. Beauty is only skin deep. Just because a women looks better in a swim suit doesn't mean she is a better person. We were all made differently and that is the beauty of it all. Learn to love the things(physical, emotional, spiritual, or characteristic) about yourself that are great and stand out to others. You can't let yourself get down just by looking at women, that's them, you are you, if you are working hard to get to where you want to be, then you should be super proud of yourself. Besides those women might have glanced at you and thought " she's pretty, i wish i had boobs like her" LOL i know it sounds silly but its true. We all have insecurities, just don't let them get ya down. Hold your head up high, walk with confidence and know that you are great as you, and you are gonna be so much hotter when all your hard work is done!! LOL :) Take care and much confidence streaming your way.
  • sla0814
    sla0814 Posts: 240
    I think all women have had this problem at some point or another. The main thing is to learn to love yourself for who you are. Beauty is only skin deep. Just because a women looks better in a swim suit doesn't mean she is a better person. We were all made differently and that is the beauty of it all. Learn to love the things(physical, emotional, spiritual, or characteristic) about yourself that are great and stand out to others. You can't let yourself get down just by looking at women, that's them, you are you, if you are working hard to get to where you want to be, then you should be super proud of yourself. Besides those women might have glanced at you and thought " she's pretty, i wish i had boobs like her" LOL i know it sounds silly but its true. We all have insecurities, just don't let them get ya down. Hold your head up high, walk with confidence and know that you are great as you, and you are gonna be so much hotter when all your hard work is done!! LOL :) Take care and much confidence streaming your way.

    love this:)
  • bethvandenberg
    bethvandenberg Posts: 1,496 Member
    Remember that no matter how much you weigh, you are somebody's goal weight. =) If you go to that pool in your nice new bathing suit and enjoy yourself with confidence, those other women will find some reason to be jealous. And if that doesn't make you feel better, then forget them. You worked hard and deserve to feel proud of your progress.

    Love this!
  • kimberg75
    kimberg75 Posts: 412 Member
    It is hard not to feel fat when there are so many skinny people surrounding you...that's why I avoid the pool at all costs right now. I bet you looked great though! Just think about how far you have come. Keep up the hard work and you'll be rockin a bikini before you know it!!
  • mageepilot
    mageepilot Posts: 289 Member
    You should go on a cruise next time. If you weigh <200 lbs you'll look positively anorexic in comparison, it's awesome!!

    Uh oh I picked the resort! I keep looking at myself thinking about parts I don't like and having to TELL myself to stop - it's better now.
  • kimberg75
    kimberg75 Posts: 412 Member
    Remember that no matter how much you weigh, you are somebody's goal weight. =) If you go to that pool in your nice new bathing suit and enjoy yourself with confidence, those other women will find some reason to be jealous. And if that doesn't make you feel better, then forget them. You worked hard and deserve to feel proud of your progress.
    I love that statement!! Never thought of it that way before....makes my weight seem not so bad.
  • skinnyminimoni
    skinnyminimoni Posts: 201
    I think all women have had this problem at some point or another. The main thing is to learn to love yourself for who you are. Beauty is only skin deep. Just because a women looks better in a swim suit doesn't mean she is a better person. We were all made differently and that is the beauty of it all. Learn to love the things(physical, emotional, spiritual, or characteristic) about yourself that are great and stand out to others. You can't let yourself get down just by looking at women, that's them, you are you, if you are working hard to get to where you want to be, then you should be super proud of yourself. Besides those women might have glanced at you and thought " she's pretty, i wish i had boobs like her" LOL i know it sounds silly but its true. We all have insecurities, just don't let them get ya down. Hold your head up high, walk with confidence and know that you are great as you, and you are gonna be so much hotter when all your hard work is done!! LOL :) Take care and much confidence streaming your way.
    Can I get an AMEN! lol I love this! Thank you so much xx
  • cobes24
    cobes24 Posts: 132 Member
    I just don't compare myself to anyone...I"m me, and this is the only body I have. If someone has something you wish you had, I guarantee that you have something that someone else wishes they had. Jealousy is stupid. We're all insecure about something.

    I think comparing yourself to anyone, whether you envy them or ridicule them, is a waste of time and energy. Those people who are bigger than you...you don't know their story, you don't know their life, and honestly, you could have been born them. (Ahem, cruise ship comment?) Don't judge.

    Those who are smaller than you...you don't know their story either, they may do horrible things to themselves to be that size. I'm a nurse practitioner and I can tell you for certain--not all heavy people are unhealthy, and not all thin people are healthy. I can run farther and faster than some of my patients who are 100 lb lighter than me--and I know my labs look better than theirs.

    I could be insecure at the pool--I'm chubby--but I LOVE being in the sun, I have a career that allows me to pay for great vacations, and I have a boyfriend who thinks I"m the sexiest woman on earth. When I'm walking on a sunny Mexican beach holding his hand, I don't even notice anyone else.

    Be proud of the progress you've made, and keep working!!
  • mamaDaisyJ
    mamaDaisyJ Posts: 395
    I just don't compare myself to anyone...I"m me, and this is the only body I have. If someone had something you wish you had, I guarantee that you have something that someone else wishes they had. Jealousy is stupid. We're all insecure about something.

    I think comparing yourself to anyone, whether you envy them or ridicule them, is a waste of time and energy. Those people who are bigger than you...you don't know their story, you don't know their life, and honestly, you could have been born them. (Ahem, cruise ship comment?) Don't judge.

    Those who are smaller than you...you don't know their story either, they may do horrible things to themselves to be that size. I'm a nurse practitioner and I can tell you for certain--not all heavy people are unhealthy, and not all thin people are healthy. I can run farther and faster than some of my patients who are 100 lb lighter than me--and I know my labs look better than theirs.

    I could be insecure at the pool--I'm chubby--but I LOVE being in the sun, I have a career that allows me to pay for great vacations, and I have a boyfriend who thinks I"m the sexiest woman on earth. When I'm walking on a sunny Mexican beach holding his hand, I don't even notice anyone else.

    Be proud of the progress you've made, and keep working!!

    I just have to point out that comparing oneself to another usually entails judging oneself, not others. At least it does in the OP.

    As for judging oneself, I tend to do this far too harshly and it starts a whole cycle I won't go into here. It's important to look at our successes however small on a weekly, daily, maybe even hourly basis. I totally feel insecure at the pool, so I make sure I spend most of my time in the water lol, at least chest high.... and I play with my kids which makes me forget all the people that are prolly staring at me and judging me and laughing at me ... cause, ya know, people do that :embarassed:

    My advice that I don't yet know how to follow is ~ remind yourself how far you have come, remind yourself of all your accomplishments, in health and other aspects of your life. There is more to each of us than our weight, and it matters!

    *Edit to add: I do have to admit Some level of judgement would have to be made before a comparison to oneself could be made....
  • withchaco
    withchaco Posts: 1,026 Member
    I've always been pretty oblivious to my social surroundings, haha. Back in my teenage and even college years, I used to go swimming with unshaven legs! *gasp*

    I think it's important to take pride in that you're making progress. When I'm lifting 10 or 20lbs at the gym, and I see big dudes lifting 100+lbs on the same machine, it's easy to feel like a wimp. But I always tell myself "everybody has to start somewhere." I think I have more reason to be proud of myself that I'm pushing myself to lift 20lbs, than I would if I were easily lifting 30lbs and not exercising regularly.
  • Gretchen22276
    Gretchen22276 Posts: 97
    I absolutely get this. My daughter made me promise to take them to the pool. I will feel absolutely uncomfortable the entire time because this is a very small town and people unfortunately :embarassed: Will talk. But! She said she is proud of me and all the hard work I've put in and she thinks I need to stop hiding. Smart girl! Who says we can't learn from our kids sometimes? :huh:
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