Deal with Loneliness (serious)

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merr1cose
merr1cose Posts: 176 Member
in Motivation and Support
Has anyone dealt with loneliness (or is currently dealing with it now)? I'd like to hear some things you did to pull yourself out of the abyss.. I go to the gym every morning, work everyday.. get out and explore the places around me but am still feeling empty. Thanks :smiley:

Replies

  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    How about going to group activities? Join or club or look for something on meetup? No one wants to be lonely. :(
  • Blizoria
    Blizoria Posts: 15 Member
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    I had a time that I had to cut off from my friends. To fill the void, I did things that make me happy. I love art projects or drawings that made me look forward to. I'm not sure what your interest are and what your situation is, but are there meetups you could go to? Meet like minded people who could jog or go out and do things? Thats what I did. I tried new things meet different people. It really pulled me out of the loneliness i was feeling.

    Hope it helps. Good luck.
  • merr1cose
    merr1cose Posts: 176 Member
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    Thanks guys.. Perhaps part of this process is learning what makes me happy.
  • mbaker566
    mbaker566 Posts: 11,233 Member
    edited June 2016
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    i got out of the house. i also got a dog. and fish
    i started yoga and hung out with the studio people. now i'm a teacher and demonstrator. i gained lifelong friends.
    some places have open dance classes too. like swing or basic latin. good way to meet people as well
  • lessismoreohio
    lessismoreohio Posts: 910 Member
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    After college I moved 1500 miles from friends and family to a new state, new town, new job, new everything. The first year there I was so lonely; it was very difficult. I joined a church singles group and met many friends and began to embrace life. Find a group of similar people and get involved.
  • Rocknut53
    Rocknut53 Posts: 1,794 Member
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    merr1cose wrote: »
    Has anyone dealt with loneliness (or is currently dealing with it now)? I'd like to hear some things you did to pull yourself out of the abyss.. I go to the gym every morning, work everyday.. get out and explore the places around me but am still feeling empty. Thanks :smiley:

    Perhaps your loneliness is going hand in hand with depression. To me they are one and the same. You go through the motions, even socialize a bit, but it (the loneliness) always hides in the background and tries to surface in spite of your efforts to keep it hidden. You seem to be taking steps to deal with it. If you find you can't, you probably need to talk to your doctor. I, too, am on this roller coaster ride, it's not fun.
  • GAnTX
    GAnTX Posts: 12 Member
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    I moved to a new city last year and have a little boy with lots of issues. That's kept me in my own little bubble for the most part since I moved here. It's tough. Doesn't help that I'm an introvert, I guess. I like my quiet time a little too much. LOL

    I've adopted dogs since I've moved here and that has helped a lot. I take them for walks which helps me meet more people and I honestly enjoy their company. But it is crucial to find what motivates you and what makes you happy.

    Please feel free to add me. Would be happy to support you from afar :)
  • pellenga
    pellenga Posts: 66 Member
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    Have you every checked out Meetup.com? It's a site where you can find other people doing other activates you might be interested in, such as group meet ups for walking, dance lessons, or biking. I just started looking into it & I imagine it's a good way to find active people near you to hang out with.
  • merr1cose
    merr1cose Posts: 176 Member
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    pellenga wrote: »
    Have you every checked out Meetup.com? It's a site where you can find other people doing other activates you might be interested in, such as group meet ups for walking, dance lessons, or biking. I just started looking into it & I imagine it's a good way to find active people near you to hang out with.

    Thanks for this! I just checked it out and it looks like a great option! Appreciate you taking the time :smile:
  • merr1cose
    merr1cose Posts: 176 Member
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    GAnTX wrote: »
    I moved to a new city last year and have a little boy with lots of issues. That's kept me in my own little bubble for the most part since I moved here. It's tough. Doesn't help that I'm an introvert, I guess. I like my quiet time a little too much. LOL

    I've adopted dogs since I've moved here and that has helped a lot. I take them for walks which helps me meet more people and I honestly enjoy their company. But it is crucial to find what motivates you and what makes you happy.

    Please feel free to add me. Would be happy to support you from afar :)

    I WISH I could adopt dogs.. I just applied to volunteer at the MSPCA though :smile: Thank you for taking the time..
  • Konigboy
    Konigboy Posts: 86 Member
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    I know the loneliness too well. As I have begun to loose weight, my friends have stopped talking. Funny how when I was at my heaviest, I had a great social life. Now, no one wants to be seen with the fat girl and I'm smaller than some that have made the comments. I live in a small town and I'm an outsider, so extremely hard to break into. Lots of cliques.

    I have tried some of the dating sites to meet friends, as I have more in common with guys, due to hobbies. But it seems guys my age are going through change of life and want to be seen with a Barbie or trophy on their arm. I will never be that. Lol. Anymore, I do my work, come home, walk the dog and stick to myself. I'm so anxious to get this weight off of me to be accepted and hopefully make a few friends to help with the lonliness.

    Someone mentioned the meetup, that sounds great if you have it in your area. I dont. Good luck!
  • TravisJHunt
    TravisJHunt Posts: 533 Member
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    I can understand totally. I live miles, well actually provinces (From Canada) away from where I grew up, even went to school so making friends has been difficult as people seem to either have friends from childhood or else University and adding another one to most peoples already busy schedules is tough. I agree with the folks here, join something that involves groups. I play hockey a few times a week in the winter and that loneliness feeling isn't there any more. Even with a good family support group, we all need friends who we can count on.
  • cufflinks101
    cufflinks101 Posts: 11 Member
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    as of 2 days ago, i have an empty nest for the first time in 27 years... the loneliness is VERY real now... have been a single mom to 3 daughters and just moved my "baby" into her 1st apartment.... the first night was excruciating! yesterday i went to our local animal shelter and took some extra blankets and old towels to donate. while i was there i asked if there was anything i could do to help out. They put me to work feeding, socializing, and just playing in general with the pets there. i came home last night with a smile on my face. tomorrow i have scheduled a time to go to our local old folks home to play board games with the residents. I feel so much better! i hope this helps, and will be praying for inner peace and happiness for you.
  • Cheesy567
    Cheesy567 Posts: 1,186 Member
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    Volunteer or join a community-service club (Jaycees, Rotary, Kiwanis, etc)
  • Scamd83
    Scamd83 Posts: 808 Member
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    From personal experience, I don't think there's much you can do. I mean if you're making an effort to meet people it then depends entirely on if those people are willing. People who spend a lot of time on their own often get accused of not making the effort. But personally speaking, you can make the effort but if others don't, you're stuck.
  • jayele72
    jayele72 Posts: 51 Member
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    You may consider trying CoDA. Google it and if it speaks to you, find a meeting. Good luck on your journey
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    Fellow introvert here. I've got my built-in companion these days but visiting my recently widowed sister I was reminded of my own shades of alone-time. She has her pets, her books, and country music floating through the house. I understand the music. A house is far too quiet alone.

    Yes, I'm still an introvert! I find building new connections with people exhausting. But I like having people around me, even if we aren't in each other's faces. Some great resources;

    http://www.johncacioppo.com/books/loneliness-human-nature-and-the-need-for-social-connection

    http://www.larche.org/

    http://www.cbc.ca/radio/ideas/the-1998-cbc-massey-lectures-becoming-human-1.2946860
  • azulvioleta6
    azulvioleta6 Posts: 4,195 Member
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    Find a social hobby and star getting to know people.

    I love Latin dance--salsa, merengue, bachata, etc. It is a great community, and wherever I go in the world, I have instant friends.
  • merr1cose
    merr1cose Posts: 176 Member
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    Thanks you guys!!! I really appreciate you taking the time to reply!!! Please feel free to add me... I'd love to get to know you all :smile:

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