Fat at 30!

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Arn13sMum
Arn13sMum Posts: 7 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Hi all this is yet another attempt at me taking control. I am 30 years old and 22st i am uncomfortable, i hate my body and i am embarrassed, despite all of this i still eat and continue to say its ok i will start Monday! Monday comes i have a good day by Tuesday i am bored eat one naughty thing and then i am back to eating badly and waiting for Monday. Am i alone in this?

I have an 18 month old son who is my whole world but i feel he misses out because i don't want to go anywhere i might be embarrassed. We have just had a holiday in Ibiza and it was beautiful but i didn't go int he pool once because i was worried that people may make fun.
I don't talk to anybody about this because out of kindness they say "we love you just as you are, don't be silly."

I just want to feel comfortable in my skin. I have a wonderful husband who loves me and he is to nice to tell me what he must be thinking. Our relationship is good and we are happy but there isn't much intimacy because i am aware of what i must look like. I want to get fit and healthy for my health and my family.

Sorry if i have just bored everybody but i need to get this off of my chest and i already feel better for doing so.

I hope that i make some friends near and far and we can all support each other in this journey. I just need to know i am not alone.

xx

Replies

  • ScotsLass78
    ScotsLass78 Posts: 248 Member
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    Oh I hear you, you are definitely not alone! I've lost count of how many Monday's I've "started fresh" only to be back to all my bad habits by the weekend. I've failed so many times, but I am now on my 77th day of making myself accountable for my choices and I finally feel like I've changed my mindset. If I have one day of bad choices, I don't give up.

    I haven't been on a holiday like Ibiza for years because I know I'd never go near the pool or the beach! I've turned down invites to spas, etc with friends because I couldn't imagine anything more embarrassing, but life is too short to live like this. And life is too short to continuously abuse my body like this. I am ashamed that it's taken me so long to finally care about my health but I am doing it now and that is what is keeping me motivated.

    I've sent a friend request, as having people going through the same journey is important, and I don't know what I'd do without the online support of my friends :)

  • Arn13sMum
    Arn13sMum Posts: 7 Member
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    Thanks this is very reassuring. I have gotten to the end of day one and i am going to take each day one at a time. I have even been swimming and swam for 40 mins at a moderate pace so i am feeling good. I am open to any tips you have top help me along my way. I am also glad you added me i could do with a lot more friends that understand then the ones that just say they do. x
  • amyn73
    amyn73 Posts: 241 Member
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    Dont give up. Sometimes it takes a while before it clicks. I can say that if you can make it a week, it might work because you will likely lose weight and that always helped me to stick with it! I hope you are successful in this journey, not only in losing weight but loving yourself, too. You are beautiful and worthy right now, and weight loss will help you to enjoy and be present in your life! Blessings...
  • ScotsLass78
    ScotsLass78 Posts: 248 Member
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    That's a great start! Well done.
  • ScotsLass78
    ScotsLass78 Posts: 248 Member
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    Sorry....I had written more, not sure where it went to! My tips would be:

    Log everything you eat and drink, even if you go over you calories. If you're like me and are an emotional eater, logging everything helps spot trends etc, and can help you work on that.
    Drink plenty of water. I struggle with this one sometimes, but it really does help.
    And don't be too hard on yourself. It's a lifestyle change, and some days will be harder than others. Makes use of the support here, it really does help having people who really understands.

    I hope this helps, I'm still fairly new at this, but I've stuck with these tips and they've helped me so far! :)
  • Arn13sMum
    Arn13sMum Posts: 7 Member
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    Thanks guys this is so nice and has already made me feel more determined.
    I have woken up in a very positive mood and have already planned what i am going to eat today, i find this helps me not steer off track and as i am food obsessed it makes me look forward to what i have planned.
    I am also an emotional eater, i used to smoke and gave up 4 years in September so when things got tough i used to turn to a cigarette so now i turn to food. I think that's when i really started packing on the pounds and then i had a miscarriage so i lost a lot of weight after that as i blamed myself (even though i know that's probably not true.)
    I lost 2 stone for my wedding and was 8 weeks pregnant when i got married with my gorgeous boy Arnie.
    After being pregnant for 9 months and getting huge (mostly 9lb3oz of baby) i thought once i had got rid of my heavy load i was slim hahaha so i just started eating again in between feeds and naps and suddenly i was the heaviest i have ever been. I am determined that i am going to do this for myself but also for my lovely boy who deserves a Mummy he can play with.
    Sorry for the overload fo information but this is really helping me. xx
  • ransaka
    ransaka Posts: 135 Member
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    One thing that seems to make or break my day in terms of food is deciding the day before what I'm eating the following day for the most part. I sort out work for lunch in the evening, decide on breakfast and dinner and what I'll snack on during the day and then sort it out before bed, takes anything from 5 mins to 30. Then pre-log it all so I know where I stand, can see where I've got space if I fancy something in particular suddenly and know where I am in terms of food for the day.
    A bit of effort each night means no effort required during the day when you're busy concentrating on other things.
    Works for me.
    Arn13sMum wrote: »
    I don't talk to anybody about this because out of kindness they say "we love you just as you are, don't be silly."

    I know this feel. People think they are being supportive but once you've got your mind set on changing I find it starts to annoy me so I do the same as you. I'm convinced half the time it's because you are doing something about your life and it makes others feel a bit insecure about themselves if they aren't happy with their own weight and fitness.

    Keep at it, remember it's a marathon and not a sprint and you'll be fine. :smile:
  • ScotsLass78
    ScotsLass78 Posts: 248 Member
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    ransaka wrote: »
    One thing that seems to make or break my day in terms of food is deciding the day before what I'm eating the following day for the most part. I sort out work for lunch in the evening, decide on breakfast and dinner and what I'll snack on during the day and then sort it out before bed, takes anything from 5 mins to 30. Then pre-log it all so I know where I stand, can see where I've got space if I fancy something in particular suddenly and know where I am in terms of food for the day.
    A bit of effort each night means no effort required during the day when you're busy concentrating on other things.
    Works for me.

    This is great advice! I think I will definitely start to do this, as it's something I've thought about but haven't done so far, yet it makes a lot of sense. Thank you! :)
  • hmark159
    hmark159 Posts: 15 Member
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    I remembered this funny meme when I read your story. Don't give up! Eventually the Mondays will run out.
  • ofcsfoster36
    ofcsfoster36 Posts: 50 Member
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    Just remember don't do it for other people you must do it for yourself. I always wanted to lose weight to make others happy so they would see me and think I look good. I learned though you must do it to make yourself happy.

    I have been at this weight loss thing since puberty. Have tried one fad diet after another. Had good success but it always came back. I have now learned all it takes is to eat right and exercise there is no miracle diet. In fact I don't use the word diet it is a lifestyle change.

    Make sure to surround yourself with people who encourage and uplift. I couldn't do it without my kids and wife standing behind me making sure I eat right and get my exercise in. They want to make sure I am around long enough to see their accomplishments. So I guess I'm the grand scheme I am kind of doing this for them. Because I want to see their future.
  • ScotsLass78
    ScotsLass78 Posts: 248 Member
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    hmark159 wrote: »
    I remembered this funny meme when I read your story. Don't give up! Eventually the Mondays will run out.

    :lol: It's funny because it's true.
  • Arn13sMum
    Arn13sMum Posts: 7 Member
    edited June 2016
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    Arn13sMum wrote: »
    I don't talk to anybody about this because out of kindness they say "we love you just as you are, don't be silly."

    I know this feel. People think they are being supportive but once you've got your mind set on changing I find it starts to annoy me so I do the same as you. I'm convinced half the time it's because you are doing something about your life and it makes others feel a bit insecure about themselves if they aren't happy with their own weight and fitness.

    Keep at it, remember it's a marathon and not a sprint and you'll be fine. :smile: [/quote]


    You are right my Mother in law is the worst one for it she is bigger then me and that's fine i dont judge her but its insulting when she brings me clothes and says "these are to big for me so i though you might like them"
    She also tries her best to sabotage me by getting my favourite things on when we go round and tells me "that wont hurt its only one"

    I find the meal plan thing works for me.

    Also i love the MEME that is me haha xx


  • hmark159
    hmark159 Posts: 15 Member
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    That is insulting. :| There are always going to be those who are jealous of your success and are scared of being left behind. Keep it up, you can do it!
  • P0tterMrs
    P0tterMrs Posts: 8 Member
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    Reading this sounded like reading about myself! Iv struggled with my weight since having my first child in 2006, Iv been up and down trying many different diets on the way but I always end up putting the weight back on and more! Iv not hit just short of 15st and feel ashamed of myself - especially in this warmer weather! I feel I need to wear a coat/cardy to cover up regardless of the heat outside! I signed up to MFP yesterday, and so far so good! We can both do this, with the support of eachother and others on here. I have sent you a request xx
  • Arn13sMum
    Arn13sMum Posts: 7 Member
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    I have had a terrible day, the key now is to not overthink it draw the line and have a better day tomorrow. x
  • emmagrace0818
    emmagrace0818 Posts: 211 Member
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    I'm 27 and know exactly how you feel.. Its taken me 3 years to get motivated but I'm finally getting there.. You can do it!

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