Why am I so hard on myself?

Jakey028
Jakey028 Posts: 6 Member
in Getting Started
I started this tracking program to help me be more accountable with my goals. I don't know if I am being too critical of myself, or if people just lie to make me feel better. I was always a petite girl. I graduated high school being 4'11 and 91 pounds. Fast forward, I am 31 and 139 pounds and I am DYING in my own skin. I eat healthy, for the most part. I have the occasional pizza failure, and pretty much nightly wine.....a few glasses. I KNOW that's the culprit. It's my reward, though! I work in a intense atmosphere with strong personalities with people that work me into the ground. I am a Paralegal for a very prominent law firm, it's just what I've always done. Maybe it's the stress that is making me put weight on? I have gained almost 10 pounds in a matter of three months, and not understanding why? I had my thyroid checked, no issues there. Wondering if anyone is in the same boat? Best of luck to all of us working toward something!

Replies

  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    Lots of excuses and subjective stuff in there Jakey. Be real here and log the calories, everything weighed and measured, and you'll find exactly why you are gaining weight. It isn't about healthy food or such - you can eat anything you want, but you have to moderate portions, which is moderating caloric intake.

    Generally, at 4'11, 31 yrs old and 139 pounds your TDEE for lightly active would be around 1600 to maintain, or around 1200'ish to lose 1 pound per week. That is not much portion wise for pizza and wine. And really, a glass of wine is only around 70 calories, but if you have two a night every night you cut into your food calories. If you are in business you might also hit Starbucks for frilly coffee which can run 300 per drink, and pizza is 250 a slice. It all adds up to you going over that 1200-1600 calories per day you need to stay at and below.

    Just start tracking EVERYTHING that goes in your mouth and measure it so there is no eyeballing measurement. Do it for a few weeks and you'll be surprised.
  • HoldTheDoor13
    HoldTheDoor13 Posts: 172 Member
    Stress isn't making you gain weight, an excess of calories is.
    Log accurately and you will lose weight. It really is that simple
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
    Yeah it's not the stress. It's all that wine and extra food.

    You gotta learn to deal with stress with something other than wine and food.
  • STEVE142142
    STEVE142142 Posts: 867 Member
    I agree with the other posters the stress isn't making you gain weight what's making you gain weight is that you're using eating as a stress reliever. To lose weight it's just a simple matter of eating less calories than your body needs. This is a great app for that it helped me lose a lot of weight and I don't deny myself anything at all.

    The only thing I disagree with you is eating healthy does not guarantee that you'll lose weight. You could eat as healthy as you want but if you eat more healthy foods and calories than your body consumes you're going to gain weight. On the other hand you can go on a snickers and vodka diet, eat under your calories and you will lose weight. I wouldn't recommend it though because that's going to mess up your body. It's just finding the right balance.

    As for myself I don't deny myself anything I enjoy the occasional Wendy's hamburger a couple beers on the beach and pizza. if I had to give those things up I don't think I'd be able to do this.

    Good luck as I know lawyers are a pain in the butt to work for
  • MakePeasNotWar
    MakePeasNotWar Posts: 1,329 Member
    I know you probably work crazy hours, but can you find time anywhere to go to the gym? When I was working as an associate at a brokerage firm, I used to get up at about 4:20AM to hit the gym before work. It was hard at first, but I got used to it and it was a huge stress reliever.

    I know it can be easy to fall into the "I deserve this" trap with food, especially when you are overworked. But think about the damage that overeating does to your body in the long term. Nobody deserves that.

    Try logging everything you eat for a few days and you will find that it's probably a lot more than you think, and you might be shocked at the calories in some of your favourites. You'll probably be able to find some things you can easily live without and save yourself room for foods you care more about.
  • amandak822
    amandak822 Posts: 20 Member
    I've been in denial about myself being my own worst enemy for my weight. I too thought I had a thyroid problem, or a hormonal imbalance. Even went to the doctor to have my levels all checked, and was sad when them came back in normal range. (I know I should have been grateful I was in healthy ranges but then that meant I don't have a medical condition that I can blame my fatness on) I am my problem. I need to be accountable for what I'm putting in my body. So, I don't care what it is, a chicken breast or a cocktail. I will be logging it. Only then will I know where my calories are going and what I need to do to make a change. Plus it is hard to deny the facts. I wish you tons of luck and support, start logging everything and it will help.
  • Jakey028
    Jakey028 Posts: 6 Member
    Thanks for the replies. I would agree that eating more calories than your body needs puts you on a fast track to weight gain. I've finally got back into the swing of things the last week. Been at the gym every evening after work. I set my diet to 1200 calories a day and am burning atleast 500 calories while at the gym, and my tracker says I still have calories left to consume at the end of the day, so that's a good thing. Tonight after my workout, tracker tells me I am in the green by 800 calories. I got this! It's just easy to fall into a pattern of eating more than you need and stretching your tummy out!! Time to shrink the ol tummy again and intake only what I need for energy.
  • cheers2012
    cheers2012 Posts: 16 Member
    High levels of stress for long periods can make it difficult to lose weight. Your cortisol level goes up--that's what triggers the fight or flight instinct. When cortisol levels stay high your body hordes calories for the fight or flight that never comes.

    That said, calories do count too. Try meditation for 5-10 minutes at lunch to help de-stress. The "calm" app is good for that. And free. :)
  • STEVE142142
    STEVE142142 Posts: 867 Member
    Jakey028 wrote: »
    Thanks for the replies. I would agree that eating more calories than your body needs puts you on a fast track to weight gain. I've finally got back into the swing of things the last week. Been at the gym every evening after work. I set my diet to 1200 calories a day and am burning atleast 500 calories while at the gym, and my tracker says I still have calories left to consume at the end of the day, so that's a good thing. Tonight after my workout, tracker tells me I am in the green by 800 calories. I got this! It's just easy to fall into a pattern of eating more than you need and stretching your tummy out!! Time to shrink the ol tummy again and intake only what I need for energy.

    My suggestion is don't go by what the tracker says. What you have to remember is those trackers are based on a large population group and it's an average it may be more or less for you. The other issue is when you set your parameters in MyFitnessPal shoot for those you.

    Remember you didn't gain all that weight overnight and you don't want to lose it super fast. You'll enjoy the journey more by going slow and steady vs. Hard and fast. Also remember don't look at this as a diet for it to be successful long-term this has to be a lifestyle change and by approaching it as a lifestyle change it's going to be a lot easier and you won't feel like you're giving anything up
  • Jakey028
    Jakey028 Posts: 6 Member
    Loving this Community outreach! All the feedback has been more than helpful. Made an executive decision and had three pieces of sushi and two glasses of white wine for dinner after my workout. I was so hungry after the gym, but made myself just pace the sushi and the wine and I am completely satisfied. Still having points left to consume on my tracker makes me feel good. One thing I know about myself is, once I put myself to it......it's game on! I don't want to get less than 125 of my 5'3 frame, as I think that's just unhealthy. So 10 lbs is my goal, and that's sooooo doable. Especially with this support! Thanks y'all.
  • Jakey028
    Jakey028 Posts: 6 Member
    Took a pic after gym tonight. Not bad, but more motivation to stick with it for my visit back home! f8w33fytwfuo.jpeg
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  • radioheaded86
    radioheaded86 Posts: 13 Member
    edited June 2016
    I work in a law firm too (not a lawyer but still very stressful...)! My doctor prescribed me an SSRI drug called Paxil--and it really helps keep me calm and anxiety-free so I focus better/worry less... it also lessens cravings for the bad stuff!! the only thing is that alcohol isn't recommended on a med like this!

    ps: judging from your pics, you appear in gr8 fit shape and shouldn't worry!
  • Jakey028
    Jakey028 Posts: 6 Member
    Ahhhhh!!! Law firms are so stressful, am I right? I work for 8 attorneys. We do it all! I only take pics to remind myself that I am making progress, but have more to go! I have a smaller frame, so even a 5lb difference can be devastating. To me anyway. And especially being behind a computer all day, I can let it consume my mind. If I'm not careful, and not being dedicated to exercise, I can fluctuate 2-5 pounds in a week! I have to admit....those weekends are my weakness. I LOVE enjoying a good meal out a good glass of wine to partner it with. And I'll even justify doing this after a hard day at work. But I have to remind myself that I feel so much better just getting a workout in before doing so! Thanks for the med input, just don't want to complicate myself even more. Haha! Can you tell I'm a Gemini?
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    Jakey028 wrote: »
    Took a pic after gym tonight. Not bad, but more motivation to stick with it for my visit back home!

    Not bad indeed. You look great and it will be tough to work down what little fat you have on your frame. But best of luck.

  • vczK2t
    vczK2t Posts: 309 Member
    Jakey028 wrote: »
    Ahhhhh!!! Law firms are so stressful, am I right? I work for 8 attorneys. We do it all! I only take pics to remind myself that I am making progress, but have more to go! I have a smaller frame, so even a 5lb difference can be devastating. To me anyway. And especially being behind a computer all day, I can let it consume my mind. If I'm not careful, and not being dedicated to exercise, I can fluctuate 2-5 pounds in a week! I have to admit....those weekends are my weakness. I LOVE enjoying a good meal out a good glass of wine to partner it with. And I'll even justify doing this after a hard day at work. But I have to remind myself that I feel so much better just getting a workout in before doing so! Thanks for the med input, just don't want to complicate myself even more. Haha! Can you tell I'm a Gemini?

    I am slightly shorter than you, weight MUCH more than you. I enjoy wine every night. I am still in the middle of my learning process, but I won't deny myself anything. I will just make sure I pay attention to my body signals and if I am not hungry, then I won't eat. I won't starve myself either. I am getting myself out of the mindset that because I have a stressful job I deserve a glass of wine. I deserve a glass of wine because I like it and I want it.

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