Thoughts on fat shaming for motivation to lose weight

We've all been there-the moment you are acutely aware that others notice your weight in public. Whether it has positive, negative, or indifferent emotions attached- large folks will feel the gaze of others and we know why. Most people don't intend for their stares to be considered shaming. And usually you don't take it that way but, in the back of your head you know what they are thinking of you-with this comes a very slight feeling of shame. "I know I can take better care of myself than this," you think to yourself.

These looks have a different effect on me however; I see them as a challenge. Something I need to improve about myself. Not just for looks but also to be healthier. I have always been that way. Meeting any form of adversity has always forced me to self-reflect, improve, and then overcome.

This is how I've gotten to where I am and I am happy with my life except for my own weight. I do ok with dieting and getting on an exercise regime isn't the worst thing I can imagine. However, the end goal (looking and feeling better in this instance) do not sustain my lifestyle change. For me, overcoming the challenges is much more rewarding than the goal itself. Whenever a coach, friend, family member told me I wasn't capable of things that was now the goal-to do more than anyone else thought I could. "I can run faster." "I can outwork them." "I don't quit. I win." I didn't always prove them wrong- however I can't remember once reaching for the stars and being upset when I only reached the moon. I've always looked for progress not perfection. Weight-loss and weight-control are not an end goal they are the continual process forever.

Even if it would be great to go to a store where they have my size in every style instead of me looking for the one pair of pants that may just fit but to embarrassed to try on in the store; weight-control needs to be an ongoing process, a lifestyle, to really be meaningful. Reaching a weight loss goal-whether that is five pounds or fifty does no real long-term good without continually being aware of your weight.

That's why I struggle with losing weight. Losing the weight (and the looks from others because of it) does not interest me enough to stick to long term goals and exercise programs. I do think if I have someone challenging me on a regular basis my competitive spirit will kick in and prove them wrong. I am not suggesting simple putting out a craiglist ad for a random person to text me negative messages about my body. But, if I found someone willing and able to text or email messages and it comes from a place of support and care is that unhealthy on both emotional and healthy ways?

I have read some stories about this really benefiting others and while I do not recommend to most with low self body image I can't help but think that this might be the push I need. At the time I am just interested in opinions of possible pros and cons for using fat shaming as a motivational tool. Also, if I do go this route? I do not have an S/O or close friends/family I can share this experiment with. So I do not know who or how to reach out to someone that may help. Thanks