Body image??

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witcherkar
witcherkar Posts: 138 Member
edited June 2016 in Motivation and Support
So I weigh around 300 pounds. But when I look in the mirror, I feel so much thinner. I only know I'm far because scales, doctors, and strangers hurtful words..most people see themselves as bigger. I see smaller so I lack motivation. What do I do?

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  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    I didn't feel my size either.
    I became motivated to lose weight when I woke up to the fact that I was in pain all the time, getting out of breath climbing the stairs in my house, having trouble walking a few blocks, totally unable to keep up with my dh and dd because of my weight. That is not the quality of life that I wanted.
    Losing just 25 lbs made such a difference. I can bend down to tie my shoes. My balance is better. My clothes fit better. I'm sleeping better- the mattress I thought was terrible is actually fine. I'm not in pain or out of breath walking a few blocks now.
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,182 Member
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    In your case, trust the scale. 145 is a healthy weight for you.
  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,338 Member
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    You have to take care of yourself, regardless if you see yourself as "thinner". I'm so sorry that people have used hurtful words on you, you don't deserve that. But you do deserve to be as healthy as you can be. Time is going to pass, and this journey only becomes more difficult the older we get. So, logically you know that 300 lbs is very overweight....time to get logical and fix that. YOU CAN DO THIS..it's hard, and you'll want to quit many times, but I promise you, the moment you start seeing RESULTS, it will be worth it.
  • CincyNeid
    CincyNeid Posts: 1,249 Member
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    I must admit i was in the same boat. I was a happy 326 pounds, but I didn't see it. I didn't want to see it. I had two instances that changed my out look. I had a kid come up to me and say Hey Mister, why you so fat? at a public park. Then my wife and I went to a local amusement park and I tried to get on a roller coaster and I was physically to big to ride it and had to exit the ride.

    At that point I knew something had to change. I knew I had to do it for my daughter, and my wife. And so I started a path to a healthier lifestyle.

    The fact that you joined this site, and posted this question shows me two things. 1) You're opening yourself to complete strangers and being upfront and honest with us knowing some things might be rude, crude, and socially unacceptable. And 2) you're looking for a change, or at least entertaining the idea thereof.

    Losing weight is done in the kitchen, toning muscles is done in the gym. If you're wanting to lose weight, be honest with yourself, honest with the daily log, and honest with what you're eating. And work out a little.

    There are a lot of good people on this site, and a lot of good information, and a lot of support. We're here for you if you're willing and wanting to take that first step. But you're the only one that can do it.

    Just remember

    Every great journey starts with one small step.
  • A_poetiq
    A_poetiq Posts: 52 Member
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    I've had this same problem. I look at the size of my pants or i feel it when trying to buy new clothes.

    Also, find motivation not in how you look, but how your body feels.
  • Red5092
    Red5092 Posts: 115 Member
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    Focus on other aspects. Do you like the way you feel? Are you exhausted all the time? Do you like the way your clothes fit? If you were to go shopping, is there a large selection of your size. How is your overall health? You don't have to focus on what you see in the mirror if that's not enough motivation. Focus on improving your health. How's your blood pressure? Cholesterol? Do you have diabetes? How's your job performance? Relationship with significant other? Relationship with children? Ask yourself if your life can be improved by getting fit and healthy.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
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    witcherkar wrote: »
    So I weigh around 300 pounds. But when I look in the mirror, I feel so much thinner.

    When I was much heavier I never really thought I was that overweight, but as I started losing and melting away the fat, so did my false image of myself. I remember seeing a meme based on the "I see dead people" line from Sixth Sense, but it said, "I see fat people. Walking around like regular people. They don't see themselves. They only see what they want to see. They don't know they're fat". That really opened my eyes. Not that I was worried as much what other people think of me, but that I was lying to myself and enabling my own poor health.

    So for me, it was just slapping myself with reality. Not in a berating, self-loathing kind of way, but so I knew that my current weight and image was not who I was and most definitely not how I wanted to be.

    The biggest thing was, finding love for myself to care enough to help myself make the changes and stick with them. Again, it is a positive internal voice that made that possible for me.

    All the best.

  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,147 Member
    edited June 2016
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    Two things ...
    Machka9 wrote: »
    Have a read over this article ...

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3189770/Proof-look-different-changing-room-mirror-say-camera-never-lies-one-thing-AMANDA-PLATELL-learned-mirrors-do.html

    https://www.theskinnymirrors.com/dressing-room-mirrors-not-created-equal/


    A lot of mirrors and the lighting that goes with them are designed to flatter. :)

    I also suspect we stand in a more flattering way when we stand in front of a mirror. Same with the camera ... I discovered that certain poses were better than others, and if I was able to pose for a photo, it wasn't too bad. But I was rather horrified if someone caught me un-posed.

    And ...
    Machka9 wrote: »
    Here you go ...

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10268800/perception/p1

    Go to the link in the first post and enter your information. Then you'll know exactly what you look like. :)
  • happygalah
    happygalah Posts: 343 Member
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    I was the same way as I've never considered myself to be a fat person.

    The external things like the scale, clothing size, doctors view, etc. Are the feedback to reality.

    The facts are that at 210 plus, I certainly was not small or fit or healthy. Size 18 to 20 is not a small size. The doctor wrote obese on my chart. That's the reality.

    It's up to you what you want to do.

  • witcherkar
    witcherkar Posts: 138 Member
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    Thanks for all the good support and tips. A problem I have also is I'm disabled at the moment. I attempted suicide a year ago and went into respiratory failure and the ventilator damaged my trachea and I now have a tracheostemy and other lung issues. I stay at home. I have no kids. I have a so who is also my size so I don't notice anything and he doesn't tell me anything. I rarely leave the house. I rarely leave my bed. I haven't gone shopping for my own clothes since..... 2012. When I was the hospital, my mom and sister had to buy my clothes since I had none but that was it. I think I subconsciously avoided anything to make me have to face reality :(
  • TehLaughingDog
    TehLaughingDog Posts: 200 Member
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    I also have struggled with this. I still see myself as the 140lb rugby player I was in high school but then when I see myself in the mirror I realize that's not a reality anymore. I still have all my size small to medium clothes and my little size 6 jeans haha.

    But to me that means I know what size I am suppose to be and not that I am actually content with the size I am. I know I AM the 140lb rugby player and not the 250lb depressed college student the mirror reflects back at me. Maybe you're the same and you just need to reframe your way of thinking? Maybe do some serious reflections on your self and who you are.

    And just to state too... Just because you're overweight doesn't mean you need to hate yourself or feel ashamed. We live in a society that shames us if we're too fat or too skinny. So when we don't hate ourselves it disconnects us from the idea of being fat (since fat is "suppose to mean" self-loathing). It's okay to feel comfortable in your own skin and people are always going to have something nasty to say no matter your size. But what it really comes down to is could you be happier now and in the future if you take that first step today?
  • happygalah
    happygalah Posts: 343 Member
    edited June 2016
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    Just wondering if you have depression? I take meds and really have to keep up with them or I'm on a downward spiral.

    Most of this is habits. You see yourself as one way and then behaviors and talk match that as well as family members can enable.

    One key for me was to stop seeing myself as a label. I'm much more than my mental illness and you are much more than health issues or weight.

    I really would find something to do that brings you joy. Like volunteer work or a new hobby.

    One of the best advice I ever got, was to try something new everyday even if it was just learning a new word or trying a foreign language app on my phone.

    Hope what I said was helpful to give you something to think about.

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