I can do this, I can do this! Here I go... again...

melaniegagnon
melaniegagnon Posts: 5 Member
in Getting Started
My name is Melanie and I've always been overweight. My whole life I've been called chubby. I was the sportiest girl around from primary school to high school but still I was chubby. I'm now 36 with 2 children in live in suburbia. Which means I have to take my car everywhere in order to get anything in a timely matter... and let me tell you, with 2 boys and a full time job time MATTERS. Mostly my children matter more than anything and then my husband matters. Lastly I somewhat matter. I have a high end epilectical machine in my basement that I used maybe 5 times and it now collecting dust in my basement. My husband tells me we should just sell it and I keep telling him that I'll use it... but hey who am I kidding.
I feel bad for my husband sometimes because he keeps telling me he loves me the way I am. He always tries to touch and grab me in a loving matter and I shy away. I hate my lumps and bumps and punish him through my feeling uncomfortable in my body. I tell myself I can do this... I will log my calories and after a month of logging I'll start to exercise. It never last though, so many priorities and I just lose track or don't find the time to log.
My youngest boy is almost 4 and we found out a year ago that he is autistic. My oldest is 14 and a hockey champion. My spend my free hours when I'm not working in arena's or with ABA therapist. I get home and grab chips or whatever handy fatty food is in the house and munch away.
Good intentions, boy oh boy, I am loaded. Mason jar salads were a success that lasted a whole week cause I just don't have time. So really, maybe not so much a success. Now I have all these mason jars. Lots of mini mason jars for my morning yogurt parfait that I prepared 4 days in a row and then stopped. Easier to buy the English egg muffin on my way to the office.
Lazy! Lazy! Lazy! I'm lazy when it comes to myself and a work horse when it comes to my family.
So here I go again... I tried on 3 things this morning that were loose last year and felt tight right now. I go online and order more clothes... more clothes to my giant collection of clothes cause no matter how much clothes I have I don't have anything to wear because even my nice clothes can't melt fat or make me feel skinny or look skinny in the mirror.
I have an Ipad, an Iphone and my computer at work so I should be able to log in everything riiiiight?Right!
I looked up stomach balloons this morning and lap band surgery. Do I really want to go through all this pain and money to lose weight when I know that I can easily lose this weight with a bit of effort. NO!

I can do this!
I can do this!
I can do this!

Here I go... again...

Replies

  • LivingtheLeanDream
    LivingtheLeanDream Posts: 13,342 Member
    Ok now you've got your plans wrote down, its time to make small changes. Give it a go and see, you'll be glad you did :smile:
  • ilovemypeekapug
    ilovemypeekapug Posts: 106 Member
    You can do this! I'm39, 40 pounds overweight and also have an autistic son who is almost4. You sound like me. I start a new diet plan every day and by the evening I'm cheating and saying I'll start again tomorrow. Please feel free to friend me on here so we can cheer each other on. Oh, my son is getting20+hours a week of ABA therapy and also speech.
  • KimKPeters
    KimKPeters Posts: 7 Member
    I'm starting over again. I don't know how many times this makes now. My husband is the same way. He compliments me, and I just don't see what he sees. I'm a mom of 3 and I also have a son that is on the autism spectrum. I also work full time. So I'm right there with you, and I totally get where you're coming from.
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,267 Member
    remember this..if you aren't well and happy who will be there to take care of the kids...your list should go like this..

    Yourself, your husband your kids.

    you don't need to exercise to lose weight that is for health and fitness.
    you don't need to eat salads all the time
    the egg muffin on the way to work is fine.

    You need a calorie deficit to lose weight....that's it. You can eat the foods you want/love and crave in reasonable portions.

    Check my diary if you want...I eat cheeseburgers, chicken wraps, chips, chocolate bars, ice cream etc.

    Now don't take me the wrong way....exercise is not required but...it gives you more calories to eat...

    for example when your son is playing hockey...walk around the rink...

    When you get home from the Therapist office open the slow cooker or grab a freezer meal or whatever is good for you on that day.

    If you want life to be "easier" with your schedule then do some meal prep (it doesn't take long really) or use a slow cooker...I love mind.

    I plan my meals typically a week in advance so I know what I will be eating and the leftovers are easy to grab for lunch...
  • MsArriabella
    MsArriabella Posts: 469 Member
    I also have an autistic child and a sports champ! Mine are girls and they're older, but their needs still take up most of my 'free' time. Like you I am great at starting diets, for maybe a week then I give in to the convenience of junk food. This time I'm planning my meals ahead of time, packing my lunches for the week on Sunday night (still have to add the fresh things each morning, but it only takes a minute.) Feel free to add me and we can keep each other motivated and on track :)
  • sedwards3111
    sedwards3111 Posts: 6 Member
    The first thing I would recommend is to stop calling yourself lazy - from everything you have described, it's just not true AND your self-talk is working against you. I'm not certain if this will work for you, but what I do is log my breakfast, lunch and dinner BEFORE I eat them. I mostly use my phone. I also have the free Pedo Pacer (on my smart phone) connected to MFP. I'm walking around the building before I go to my car. I'm getting up an hour earlier so I can go walk - first time today. I put on my headphones, take my flashlight (because it's dark at 5am), turn on a Bible study program and get to walking and get a good start to my day. Mornings may not work for you - but for me it does as I'm not awake enough to argue with myself. I just lay out my stuff the night before. Don't have time for the mason jars? Buy prepackaged yogurt. Lunch? Try a lean cuisine with a bag of salad. What I'm doing is purposely choosing to make small steps that are adding up. Last week I averaged 3000 steps a day. Today I've logged 5764 steps by 11am. I just began anew yesterday, too. I'm 55 and need to lose 60 lbs. Feel free to friend me if you want - I'd be happy to be your buddy. I would send you a friend request, but I have no idea how to do that.
  • SweetP27
    SweetP27 Posts: 218 Member
    You can do this. Two things that have always tripped me up...and I have years and years of tripping!! I want to change everything and change it NOW and I want to see immediate results!! Well - the first is setting me up for failure and the second is just not reality. Once I accepted this...and please understand - I'm still on the front end so I surely do not have it all figured out - I started by making small changes. One at a time. The hectic lifestyle of raising children is behind me but my son and his six year old daughter live with us. He usually has to leave for work by 5 or 5:30am which means that I am getting up granddaughter and dropping her at school (or childcare) to get to my office by 7. My daughter is a single mom with a 5 year old and twins who are almost 3...so I try to do whatever I can to help her. So life is still pretty hectic. To counter this - on Mondays I take to work with me my lunch and snacks for the entire week. This helps me to stay on track at work.

    Most importantly - go ahead and love yourself right now. Don't wait to lose weight and for this or that to happen. Your husband finds you to be sexy....he loves you. You need to love you and then it will be easier to let him love you.

    You can do this!!!

  • hypodonthaveme
    hypodonthaveme Posts: 215 Member
    Not sure how severe your sons autism is, but can you do fun moving activities that he would enjoy with you? Going for a nature walk and pick up certain things he likes and start a collection( then you can go for walks more regularly to find more items)dance in your home while you are cooking dinner, if you have stairs can you go up and down them a few times while wait for him to get ready for bed, march in place while he is brushing his teeth or you? Is there a particular thing you like to do? Swim, bike ride, walk, dance, jog, fish, etc anything that requires you to move more? Lunges while folding laundry, squats while putting clothes in the washer or dryer. Shoot hoops with your older son, play hard hockey with him.

    The reason I suggest doing activities with you children is because we always find time for them. The reason i suggested things around chores is because chores get done daily without much thought. We just do them.

    Remember YOU are important too. You're health matters!
    Best wishes.
  • joycejentges
    joycejentges Posts: 17 Member
    I am starting over again too. Was doing so good with walking for a while and now I've been so lazy. Good luck to you. Even exercise in small doses works.
  • Jamiempang
    Jamiempang Posts: 39 Member
    Surround yourself with like minded people! Have you tried meal prepping/planning? It actually doesn't take as much time as it sounds like it does. It's the one thing that helps keep my nutrition on track. Feel free to add me as a buddy!
  • Fluffy2Fit2Shredded
    Fluffy2Fit2Shredded Posts: 40 Member
    FOCUS!!! if I can lend some advice as I was once there 60lbs and 6 months ago and still at, going even harder than before.

    - find a gym, make it a point to go to it daily. Before kids wake up, lunch, right after work, after kids are asleep....just walk thru those doors and be active. Whatever u do, light workout, heavy, be consistent, make it part of your routine that's necessary like cooking the kids food, it just has to be done.
    - Get your daily calorie maintenance (look it up, usually weight x 14) or 17 . Depends on your activity, but up to you, I take the low level. This is what your body uses up daily with normal activity. Then take 75% of it (or more) and stick to that as your daily calorie intake.
    - Drink lots of water, first thing in the morning, have a water bottle with u at all times, one of those 24oz that's pretty much with u at all times like your smart phone is. Finish that 24oz before u head out the door for work, another on the drive to work, and another 5-7x till the evening. Whenever you feel hungry, first drink a cup or so of water, sometimes that will fix the hunger, then when u really do eat, before your first bite, drink a cup of water, enjoy that bite, drink a gulp of water, then another bite, 6 bites later....you're FULL! Plus all that water you're drinking you'll be going to the bathroom all the time, forcing u on your feet to walk around if u have a desk job and move about. Sometimes you'll try to hold it and end up jogging or running to the bathroom lol.
    - Learn nutritional details of foods, major macros - how much protein, fats, carbs are in each. If u buy the groceries, buy most from the outside of the aisles, those are the freshest. Learn foods that have low calories but are high in volume, there are sooooooo many. I'm guessing as a mom u cook? You can whip up some amazing dishes with everything. I had to learn over a cool 100 recipes the hard way from scratch haha. Just be sure to not over compensate with sauces and dips, that defeats the purpose. When u get home, weigh, cut and ziplock foods according to their nutritional value as noted on the back (chicken breast I'll cut it into the designated portions, weigh it, then toss in ziplock and into the freezer) it's harder and more time consuming when it's already frozen and you're trying to do this.
    - Definitely get one of those cheap weigh scales by the gram
    - Cook foods separately if u have to for yourself if the rest want something that u cook that u now know is sooooo high in fat, carbs, etc.
    - Go on YouTube and subscribe to channels of fitness athletes, female body builders (they always talk about healthy eating, exercises etc that u can modify for yourself), nutritionists, doctors, benefits of foods, etc. and turn on the notifications. And once a day play them all or whenever you're free....on the toilet, in the car, cooking, in bed.....self educate about nutrition. This inmost of the battle. Do the same with podcasts. I just let it all play in the background even if I heard something similar before, sometimes one new thing I never knew is mentioned and I'll pay attention!
    - U have a 14yr old, me too, in lacrosse. He's likely very active, trying to get muscles etc. tell him to teach you his drills to help mommy lose weight also. If u drop him off at practice for an hour or more, go for a jog instead of dropping off and running errands, jog for the entire hour and a half. Or walk, or sprint and walk.
    - Get enough sleep, look into the benefits....self educate.
    - Make use of your time best u can if u have time with responsibilities. As for me....When I want to surf social media or be a news junkie, I'll do it at the gym on the elliptical. When I have tv shows or movie to catch up on, I'll do it at the gym. When I'm tired, I'll go to the gym, sometimes u just need the blood going and you're ready for a full workout. If I'm frustrated at work, I'll take it out at the gym. Sad/down? Go to the gym. It's the answer for everything. ☺️
    - Hope this helps! Just do it for 3 weeks non-stop to develop the habit, soon you'll feel guilty for not going. Your body will be in pain, just work through it, and do a light workout like walking on the treadmill for 45min at a brisk speed on an incline. Modify your goals as you drop the weight and get stronger. Self educate. Make YouTube your personal trainer, there's so much content out there! Bring the hubby too if u can, if not, just get yourself thru those gym doors! Sometimes looking at other fit people is added motivation. My significant other refuses to go to the gym, she naturally loses weight eating pizza and junk food all day. I've had to develop some strong discipline with 10 frozen pizzas always in the freezer and potato chips everywhere in the house.
    - Soon you'll be outrunning your son and in better health!


    And just FOOOOOOCUS!!
  • changetimenow
    changetimenow Posts: 7 Member
    You can do this! You can, and that is what you need to keep telling yourself! I know it is difficult to put yourself first (it is something that I struggle with as well) but it is important that you do. Don't feel that you need to completely overhaul everything that you eat, make small changes that won't feel impossible to stick to.

    One of the things that I think you need to do is not say that you will start the exercise after getting a full month of logging. I find that moving more gets me motivated to keep logging and eating better, and maybe you will find that is the case with you as well. You spend a lot of time taking care of others, but you need to find a way to put yourself first. So blow off some steam exercising and try to find some nice ways to treat yourself as well! Good luck :smile:
  • NHDaisy2
    NHDaisy2 Posts: 151 Member
    You have already received lot of great ideas/advice. My suggestion would be to maybe get in some walks during a coffee break or lunch break. You could also get some meal planning/grocery list items done during lunch before/after a walk while you eat your lunch...

    During my morning coffee break I walk twice around our building which is 1 mile in total - then in the afternoon if I don't have meetings etc. I take another walk once around the building. I also have a subscribtion to eMeals. It's not necessary but, because I'm not a very creative cook it gives me 1 or 2 new ideas each week.

    You can do this! Good luck.

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