So disappointed and sad.....

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PoshTaush
PoshTaush Posts: 1,247
in Motivation and Support
Ok... so I have been kind of down this week... Well., Let's just say REALLY down....

I just noticed...about 2 minutes ago.. that June was my 1 year anniversary of joining MFP! What the crap???

I keep seeing people lose 100 + pounds in a year!! (Please don't take that wrong...I am so impressed and happy for them...)

But then I look at myself....and what have I done/?? I continue to yo-yo between 5 pounds....

A year.. Mainly wasted....

I'm so sad. I don't want to give up, but I want to try other options... (some not so healthy...)


I used to be bulimic and MUCH SMALLER! I know that's not healthy... I KNOW>>> but somehow... I was happier with my BODY.... maybe not life in general..but definitely my size...

Please help me.. I'm not in a good state of mind right now...
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Replies

  • WalkingGirl1985
    WalkingGirl1985 Posts: 2,047 Member
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    Taush, I'm in the same boat. Feels like my last 6 months on MFP I've only lost 3-4 pounds. I've been in the 180s for 6 months because of actions. Important thing, is you don't give up, keep trying, have faith. We all have our troubles, believe me..you are not alone. :smile: *hugs*
  • Izable2011
    Izable2011 Posts: 755 Member
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    Don't let it get you down. You are a beautiful person. You can do anything you put your mind to. This feeling will pass I promise. :smile:
  • skinnyminimoni
    skinnyminimoni Posts: 201
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    Everyone loses at a different rate! Don't beat yourself up. Just look at those people and remember that they were in your shoes once, and you'll be in theirs soon enough :flowerforyou:
  • mollymoo89
    mollymoo89 Posts: 202
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    You've lost 23 pounds, that's something to be proud of! I'm right there with you though on wanting to see more results. I have only 6 pounds left to lose and they are just at stubborn as I am! I have to work for each and every pound. I can't be the person that eats Mickey D's, stay under calories, and still lose weight. I have to be very strict. Yea there's times that I just don't give a darn and I don't want to put the work in. But then I remember how close I am and how badly I want to lose these 6 pounds. That keeps me motivated.

    Stick with it. Make small healthy choices that you use everyday and it will become more of a lifestyle!
  • mrschappet
    mrschappet Posts: 488 Member
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    Ok... so I have been kind of down this week... Well., Let's just say REALLY down....

    I just noticed...about 2 minutes ago.. that June was my 1 year anniversary of joining MFP! What the crap???

    I keep seeing people lose 100 + pounds in a year!! (Please don't take that wrong...I am so impressed and happy for them...)

    But then I look at myself....and what have I done/?? I continue to yo-yo between 5 pounds....

    A year.. Mainly wasted....

    I'm so sad. I don't want to give up, but I want to try other options... (some not so healthy...)


    I used to be bulimic and MUCH SMALLER! I know that's not healthy... I KNOW>>> but somehow... I was happier with my BODY.... maybe not life in general..but definitely my size...

    Please help me.. I'm not in a good state of mind right now...


    Please don't take this wrong. but i don't think in this particular situation you should be turning to people online for advice or help. maybe you need to see someone that specializes in your specific situation. Especially if you are even considering bulimia. I hope and wish you all the best! You can pull through this.... you just need someone on your side.. someone who can provide you with safe and personalized advice.

    Good Luck!
  • bjohs
    bjohs Posts: 1,225 Member
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    Please don't take this wrong. but i don't think in this particular situation you should be turning to people online for advice or help. maybe you need to see someone that specializes in your specific situation. Especially if you are even considering bulimia. I hope and wish you all the best! You can pull through this.... you just need someone on your side.. someone who can provide you with safe and personalized advice.

    Good Luck!

    I'm thinking the same. There may be something deeper here and speaking to someone professional may be more helpful.
  • lstnlondry
    lstnlondry Posts: 1,794 Member
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    PLEASE know that you are not alone! I lose 5 pounds here or there and within months gain it back, but I try to get up, dust off and start over.
  • NancyAnne1960
    NancyAnne1960 Posts: 500 Member
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    You've done great losing 23 lbs. Be kind to yourself. As long as you are eathing healthier, you've won half the battle. Hang in there!! Enjoy that little bably boy!!! How fun is that? :flowerforyou:
  • valerieheat
    valerieheat Posts: 17
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    I found out that if you have peace in your heart, you can be happy with your body at any size. You see, happiness does not come from a body size, its attitude of the heart that can only be sustained with true peace. Once you have true peace, you can then focus on your health and be happy through the process of improving your health, not postponing joy for an elusive size number. I will remember you in my prayers.
  • Scorpiomom222
    Scorpiomom222 Posts: 1,462 Member
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    Oh hon, I KNOW how you feel! I feel like such a whale, and I know I have to gain weight for the baby I'm growing inside me but I have a hard time even eating cuz I can't stand my body. I have gross saddlebags and rubby thighs. I dont mind my tummy. I'm FINE with THAT growing but I also know that I was borderline overweight when I got pregnant, and I will cry if I gain more than 35 lbs. I will have been here for 1 year in September, and all of my work will be undone times two by the end of November. I know this isn't HELPING, but just know I'm kind of in the same boat and you're not alone. Love ya, lady! Don't give up on yourself. I know if you WANT to work for change, you'll get there soon enough.
  • valerieheat
    valerieheat Posts: 17
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    I used to be bulimic and MUCH SMALLER! I know that's not healthy... I KNOW>>> but somehow... I was happier with my BODY.... maybe not life in general..but definitely my size...



    I found out that if you have peace in your heart, you can be happy with your body at any size. You see, happiness does not come from a body size, its attitude of the heart that can only be sustained with true peace. Once you have true peace, you can then focus on your health and be happy through the process of improving your health, not postponing joy for an elusive size number. I will remember you in my prayers.
  • Azuleelan
    Azuleelan Posts: 218
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    It's strange that you define your bulimic state as being "happy with your body", because the bulimic reaction in itself is hate... Associating it with any positive things is dangerous, especially for you. Hope you are getting help with that.
    You could make a commitment different from losing weight... run a marathon, a triathlon, be as flexible as Shiva Rea... I don't know, something fitness-related. That way even if you don't lose a pound, the change for you in terms of health would be immense... that's as valuable as losing some weight. :smile:
  • Scorpiomom222
    Scorpiomom222 Posts: 1,462 Member
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    Ok... so I have been kind of down this week... Well., Let's just say REALLY down....

    I just noticed...about 2 minutes ago.. that June was my 1 year anniversary of joining MFP! What the crap???

    I keep seeing people lose 100 + pounds in a year!! (Please don't take that wrong...I am so impressed and happy for them...)

    But then I look at myself....and what have I done/?? I continue to yo-yo between 5 pounds....

    A year.. Mainly wasted....

    I'm so sad. I don't want to give up, but I want to try other options... (some not so healthy...)


    I used to be bulimic and MUCH SMALLER! I know that's not healthy... I KNOW>>> but somehow... I was happier with my BODY.... maybe not life in general..but definitely my size...

    Please help me.. I'm not in a good state of mind right now...


    Please don't take this wrong. but i don't think in this particular situation you should be turning to people online for advice or help. maybe you need to see someone that specializes in your specific situation. Especially if you are even considering bulimia. I hope and wish you all the best! You can pull through this.... you just need someone on your side.. someone who can provide you with safe and personalized advice.

    Good Luck!

    I think that she just wants to know she's not alone and that she has someone to lean on who understands. You don't know if she's already got the help she needs. She might just need support. That COULD be the reason shes on the motivation and support board for this issue. Just a guess.
  • PoshTaush
    PoshTaush Posts: 1,247
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    Let me rephrase my previous statement....

    I don't think I was then Happy with my body.... OBVIOUSLY.... I'm just saying that NOW...looking back at pictures then... I long for that size again...... I don't ever remember a time I was happy with my size. I remember in Kindergarten comparing myself to the other smaller girls. I was a size 10 in kids clothes in kindergarten.

    I know how sad that is that I remember what size I wore in kindergarten.

    I was a year round athlete in school.... so.. along with purging... the exercise was an easy way for me to mask my problems.

    I have talked to thearapists... I am taking depression medication.... It's not helping.

    I go to therapy and all I feel is that they don't care...they are collecting a check.... why do they care?? They sit and listen to people like me all day cry about our past life experiences...



    Sorry to be a whiny baby.. I know most of you don't REALLY care either.... You don't know me... I am just looking for maybe someone who understands... I don't want pity.... maybe just someone to tell me I'm ok....

    I have considered LapBand surgery as well... I don't know where to go from here...


    To those of you who are being super sweet and supportive I truly sincerely appreciate you. Thank you for prayers and well wishes. You do help me... Sometimes I wish I could find the MUTE button for what my head keeps telling me. Self talk can be so destructive.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
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    You have lost 23 pounds. I can't see your diary so I don't know what you have going on up in there, but stick to it. We all hit moments where we start to plateau, you just have to push through. Look at your food and exercise plans critically, is your calorie count true (you aren't leaving any snacking out)? Is your exercise count real (do you have a hrm, that may help)? are you getting your calories seriously close? What type of foods are you eating, are you taking any weight gaining medications? REally analyze everything you have going on.
  • bjohs
    bjohs Posts: 1,225 Member
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    Self talk can be so destructive.

    That is such a true statement. I didn't mean to sound unsupportive in my last response. But negative self talk is such a hard thing to overcome for many. You are definitely not alone when it comes to that. Hang in there! Things WILL get better!
  • Azuleelan
    Azuleelan Posts: 218
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    It's not true that we don't REALLY care. I don't know you, but I still came back to this post to see if you said something else. It's just empathy, that's true, but that's what makes us social beings anyway... What I'm saying is I CARE about you. From the moment I read your post...
    You're going through a difficult time and from here on I don't know what to say but everything is going to be ok.
    Look for a new therapist, change your medication, and not to sound too Forrest Gump but... run. Run ten minutes a day. Run for the sense of freedom. Exercise might have been a symptom once, but it's not by itself, unless you do it hours and hours a day... so don't. Just ten minutes... I swear it works :flowerforyou:
  • PoshTaush
    PoshTaush Posts: 1,247
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    It's not true that we don't REALLY care. I don't know you, but I still came back to this post to see if you said something else. It's just empathy, that's true, but that's what makes us social beings anyway... What I'm saying is I CARE about you. From the moment I read your post...
    You're going through a difficult time and from here on I don't know what to say but everything is going to be ok.
    Look for a new therapist, change your medication, and not to sound too Forrest Gump but... run. Run ten minutes a day. Run for the sense of freedom. Exercise might have been a symptom once, but it's not by itself, unless you do it hours and hours a day... so don't. Just ten minutes... I swear it works :flowerforyou:

    Thank you... I really appreciate your help and concern. I really really do.
  • mrschappet
    mrschappet Posts: 488 Member
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    I'm truly sorry if my post offended you.. I didn't mean to come across as insensitive. I hope for you all the best in this difficult time. we are all here to support you thats what MFP is all about. I guess what I was trying to say (but didn't do a good job of) was I would hate to see you get uneducated advice from someone that would in return hinder your success or even cause you harm. My apologies again.
  • lanie25
    lanie25 Posts: 42
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    When I was pregnant I walked on the treadmill a lot. I even kept a walking diary in a spiral notebook, noting the time, speed, distance, etc. I ended up gaining 30 pounds (she was my 4th child) and ended up with great legs, butt, attitude and a wonderful little girl to boot! Use hand weights while walking if you can, to gain upper arm strength. Good luck---keep us all up to date with news!

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