significant others

tbisca1
tbisca1 Posts: 142
edited September 29 in Motivation and Support
I have a great fiancée who is so supportive and loves me the way I am regardless of size. But I find it hard to celebrate my weight loss with him because I don't want him to know how much my starting weight was because I am embarrassed. At my biggest I was 297 lbs. I am now 221 and so proud of myself but still have 57 lbs to go. I stopped telling him how much I lost after 25 lbs. He keeps asking what my total weight loss is so far but I just don't want to tell him. Am I wrong for not telling him?

Replies

  • bjohs
    bjohs Posts: 1,225 Member
    Were you not together yet at your heaviest?
  • Dornroschen
    Dornroschen Posts: 178 Member
    Weight is just a number, and if he honestly loves you for you - knowing how far you've come in your journey will only make him want to be more supportive.

    My fiance is extremely supportive, he's joined MFP with me in order to lose about 15 pounds (the jerk) while I lose my 80 pounds or so. At one point we were posting our weigh-ins on the bathroom wall in front of the scale in order to stay accountable.

    I say share it with him like you plan to share everything in your lives together. :)
  • Heatherbelle_87
    Heatherbelle_87 Posts: 1,078 Member
    My boyfriend and I discussed my weight and goals on our first date! We had talked many times before that though and that was 3 hours into our date. But he only asks how much Ive lost not my current weight, he says he doesnt remember my starting weight, but he doesnt care either Im hot as I am and losing more weight is a bonus because itll only make me hotter
  • aa1440
    aa1440 Posts: 956 Member
    If you trust each other you will tell him. You should be proud of your weigh loss. You should tell everyone how much you lost. You just told all of us.
  • rharris86dc
    rharris86dc Posts: 635 Member
    I know that weight is a very personal thing for people, especially women. I started out at 212, and having been a dancer when I was younger, that was just unacceptable to me. I don't think I told my significant other my starting number, but I did tell him when I finally reached my first major goal of 175 a few weeks ago.
    So I don't think it's "wrong" that you didn't tell him, but he sounds like a great guy who wants to celebrate with you and be there for you while you make all these great changes.

    Either way, you are doing great, so keep up the amazing work and you will get to your goal sooner than you think!
  • Evans_momma
    Evans_momma Posts: 10
    I'd share it with him. Then he'll know just how hard you've been working! Great job! :smile:
  • tbisca1
    tbisca1 Posts: 142
    Actually I got to my heaviest since we've been together. He and i both gained about 20 lbs during our first year of dating. He has physical job so stays relatively fit. I just don't want to have to withhold my success when I get to my goal lol I guess I just have to be more proud than embarrassed!
  • sittingduck180
    sittingduck180 Posts: 64
    I have to say, I had the same terrifying fear. But I shared it (333 - a freaking linebacker) and I cant express how freeing it was! For guys, it truly is just a number. If you share it, he'll be able to celebrate with you fully when you reach your goal!
  • Saruman_w
    Saruman_w Posts: 1,531 Member
    Go ahead and tell him, I wouldn't give a crap about numbers.
  • devilblkdress
    devilblkdress Posts: 42
    I had this issue in the beginning at first as well! My husband still is in awe that at my heaviest I was pushing 300lbs. He just never saw me as that in his mind (I was always super sexy to him~his words lol) and I never told him my weight until recently. But honestly he loves me now and then so it doesn't matter so don't worry about it! Your achievement is huge. Celebrate it! And by all means let him help you celebrate it. I am sure that he is proud of all your hard work and determination!
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    You've told all of us. Surely you can tell him. :flowerforyou:
  • tbisca1
    tbisca1 Posts: 142
    Thanks everyone! I love having such great support! Everyone is working so hard and I wish us all the best!:heart:
  • bjohs
    bjohs Posts: 1,225 Member
    My boyfriend and I discussed my weight and goals on our first date! We had talked many times before that though and that was 3 hours into our date. But he only asks how much Ive lost not my current weight, he says he doesnt remember my starting weight, but he doesnt care either Im hot as I am and losing more weight is a bonus because itll only make me hotter

    In that case, as long as you feel comfortable with it, go ahead and keep him updated. He's genuinely interested and is just one more cheerleader on your team! Having a great support network is half the battle in seeing success on your journey. Don't be afraid to toot your own horn and celebrate each accomplishment with him. Good luck! You're doing great!
  • healthyjen342
    healthyjen342 Posts: 1,435 Member
    I totally understand. I was the same way..I didnt want ANYONE to know my original weight...not even my husband. I hid my Weight Watchers book and booklets and everything...But I tell you what..I felt so much better when I DID tell him, and that I could share with him when I lost weight, and what I am going through. And now, I will shout it from the rooftops! I USED TO WEIGH 342 LBS!!!! I don't any more and I won't ever again! and if I can ever help someone or give them hope because they know where I started and where I am then by all means....TELL IT SISTER!

    AND CONGRATS, BTW!! Fantastic weightloss!
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