So disappointed and sad.....

Don't let it get you down. You are a beautiful person. You can do anything you put your mind to. This feeling will pass I promise.

You've lost 23 pounds, that's something to be proud of! I'm right there with you though on wanting to see more results. I have only 6 pounds left to lose and they are just at stubborn as I am! I have to work for each and every pound. I can't be the person that eats Mickey D's, stay under calories, and still lose weight. I have to be very strict. Yea there's times that I just don't give a darn and I don't want to put the work in. But then I remember how close I am and how badly I want to lose these 6 pounds. That keeps me motivated.

Stick with it. Make small healthy choices that you use everyday and it will become more of a lifestyle!

Please don't take this wrong. but i don't think in this particular situation you should be turning to people online for advice or help. maybe you need to see someone that specializes in your specific situation. Especially if you are even considering bulimia. I hope and wish you all the best! You can pull through this.... you just need someone on your side.. someone who can provide you with safe and personalized advice.

Good Luck!

I'm thinking the same. There may be something deeper here and speaking to someone professional may be more helpful.

You've done great losing 23 lbs. Be kind to yourself. As long as you are eathing healthier, you've won half the battle. Hang in there!! Enjoy that little bably boy!!! How fun is that? :flowerforyou:

Oh hon, I KNOW how you feel! I feel like such a whale, and I know I have to gain weight for the baby I'm growing inside me but I have a hard time even eating cuz I can't stand my body. I have gross saddlebags and rubby thighs. I dont mind my tummy. I'm FINE with THAT growing but I also know that I was borderline overweight when I got pregnant, and I will cry if I gain more than 35 lbs. I will have been here for 1 year in September, and all of my work will be undone times two by the end of November. I know this isn't HELPING, but just know I'm kind of in the same boat and you're not alone. Love ya, lady! Don't give up on yourself. I know if you WANT to work for change, you'll get there soon enough.

It's strange that you define your bulimic state as being "happy with your body", because the bulimic reaction in itself is hate... Associating it with any positive things is dangerous, especially for you. Hope you are getting help with that.
You could make a commitment different from losing weight... run a marathon, a triathlon, be as flexible as Shiva Rea... I don't know, something fitness-related. That way even if you don't lose a pound, the change for you in terms of health would be immense... that's as valuable as losing some weight.

Self talk can be so destructive.

That is such a true statement. I didn't mean to sound unsupportive in my last response. But negative self talk is such a hard thing to overcome for many. You are definitely not alone when it comes to that. Hang in there! Things WILL get better!

When I was pregnant I walked on the treadmill a lot. I even kept a walking diary in a spiral notebook, noting the time, speed, distance, etc. I ended up gaining 30 pounds (she was my 4th child) and ended up with great legs, butt, attitude and a wonderful little girl to boot! Use hand weights while walking if you can, to gain upper arm strength. Good luck---keep us all up to date with news!

Let me rephrase my previous statement....

I don't think I was then Happy with my body.... OBVIOUSLY.... I'm just saying that NOW...looking back at pictures then... I long for that size again...... I don't ever remember a time I was happy with my size. I remember in Kindergarten comparing myself to the other smaller girls. I was a size 10 in kids clothes in kindergarten.

I know how sad that is that I remember what size I wore in kindergarten.

I was a year round athlete in school.... so.. along with purging... the exercise was an easy way for me to mask my problems.

I have talked to thearapists... I am taking depression medication.... It's not helping.

I go to therapy and all I feel is that they don't care...they are collecting a check.... why do they care?? They sit and listen to people like me all day cry about our past life experiences...



Sorry to be a whiny baby.. I know most of you don't REALLY care either.... You don't know me... I am just looking for maybe someone who understands... I don't want pity.... maybe just someone to tell me I'm ok....

I have considered LapBand surgery as well... I don't know where to go from here...


To those of you who are being super sweet and supportive I truly sincerely appreciate you. Thank you for prayers and well wishes. You do help me... Sometimes I wish I could find the MUTE button for what my head keeps telling me. Self talk can be so destructive.

Your story could be my own. I swam year round from the time I was 4. For my entire life I compared myself to the girls around me, I didn't understand "skinny fat" so even though I was a lean size 2/4 with an build I always felt fat because I was heavier than my friends by no less than 15 pounds (even though I wore smaller clothes). At 17 & 18 I became anorexic and bulimic and shrunk down so small that I could no longer fit into a size 0 and had to start shopping in the childrens section (I'm 5'4"). The heaviest I've ever been is a size 14 (aboutr 160 - 170 pounds). While I was there I was looking through pictures and saw pictures of me at that healthy weight, damn I looked good. When I joined mfp in March I had been hovering between 150 and 160 for 2 or 3 years, I decided I wanted to be healthy, not skinny or light weight. I am active but not as active as I used to be (and I'm 33) so I decided that 128 - 132 would allow me to carry some extra fat and be a realistic goal, so that's where I am (as of yesterday 128.5). It was a struggle yesterday t o reset my goal to maintain my past keeps telling me "you can afford another 3 - 5 pounds", my logic knows I've reached my goal and I know that anything else would be unreasonable for my body.
Sorry, this is about you. I suppose the take away here is to leave the past in the past, you know you want to be healthy. Set a reasonable end goal. You know what it's like to be heavy, you know what it's like to be unhealthy skinny. Whatever has caused your extreme weight issues is imbedded deep in you, in order to win this battle you have to find the source. If you don't think that your therapist cares, find one that does, or care enough about yourself that it doesn't matter what you therapist thinks. You know that freeing feeling that comes with exercise, find the joy in it again, find that freedom and sense of accomplishment that comes with pushing your body through that barrier and remember that you are no longer that young woman so don't compare your capabilites to her. Healthy, that's the key, healthy. You have to put up a mental block between the girl you were and the woman you are now. She's who you were not who you are and not who you want to be.
Start every day looking in the mirror, shut your eyes tight and open them, and tell yourself something you like about yourself. "I like my eyes today, they are very green." You'll find that you'll find more and more things you like about yourself "Day-um where'd that 4 pack come from?". You'll always be critical, I think that's very natural, but you have to find the good stuff too, and eventually some of that bad stuff will turn into good stuff, everytime I stand in front of the mirror and think "I've lost all this weight and my *kitten* is still fat" I've trained myself to then think:

She had dumps like a truck truck truck
Thighs like what what what
Baby move your butt butt butt
Uh
I think to sing it again
She had dumps like a truck truck truck
Thighs like what what what
All night long