Buddhism, Weight loss, & Abuse

msalicia116
msalicia116 Posts: 233 Member
edited December 2 in Motivation and Support
Weird topic I'm sure. I'll try to explain. I'm a practicing Buddhist and since leaving an incredibly abusive relationship, I've gained about 25 lbs and have acquired an unhealthy relationship with food. In Buddhism "the middle way" is key, as well as using food as nourishment rather than something to desire. Sometimes I feel so lost and frustrated that I let this happen. Like I have no control over what's happening with me. I'm trying to find peace and control with these eating issues with my practice, but it seems I need more tools to stabilize me and get my weight going in the right direction. I get about a week in, then something happens. It's on repeat. I don't know what this mental block is, but if there's any other practicing Buddhists that would like to add me for support that would be amazing. Or if anyone has any experience with losing weight after domestic violence, I would appreciate your words of wisdom immensely.

Thanks everyone

Replies

  • JaneSnowe
    JaneSnowe Posts: 1,283 Member
    edited June 2016
    Hi OP. I'm sorry I don't have any words of wisdom to offer you, but I wish you strength and peace in your life. <3
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
    edited June 2016
    You say that you are trying to find peace and control. Control is the telling word in what you have written. What would it feel like to resign yourself to giving up control? I'm not saying to eat mindlessly, but rather than feeling the need to control, just let that go. Trying to control or cling onto something that is impermanent, is one of the causes of suffering. Does that make sense to you?

    ETA: I am sorry for your struggles. What type of Buddhism do you practice?
  • msalicia116
    msalicia116 Posts: 233 Member
    edited June 2016
    nutmegoreo wrote: »
    You say that you are trying to find peace and control. Control is the telling word in what you have written. What would it feel like to resign yourself to giving up control? I'm not saying to eat mindlessly, but rather than feeling the need to control, just let that go. Trying to control or cling onto something that is impermanent, is one of the causes of suffering. Does that make sense to you?

    ETA: I am sorry for your struggles. What type of Buddhism do you practice?

    It makes perfect sense. My thoughts and weight are so erratic, and I had no control in my last relationship, I convinced myself I need to establish control. The harder I tried the worse I got. You really hit home for me here.

    I study Tibetan Buddhism. We have a school and garden here with a 1000 Buddhas. I was just reading about impermanence today funny enough.
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
    msalicia116 wrote: »
    nutmegoreo wrote: »
    You say that you are trying to find peace and control. Control is the telling word in what you have written. What would it feel like to resign yourself to giving up control? I'm not saying to eat mindlessly, but rather than feeling the need to control, just let that go. Trying to control or cling onto something that is impermanent, is one of the causes of suffering. Does that make sense to you?

    ETA: I am sorry for your struggles. What type of Buddhism do you practice?

    It makes perfect sense. My thoughts and weight is so erratic, and I had no control in my last relationship, I convinced myself I need to establish control. The harder I tried the worse I got. You really hit home for me here.

    I study Tibetan Buddhism. We have a school here with a 1000 Buddhas. I was just reading about impermanence today funny enough.

    Yay! I'm glad it makes sense to you. Sometimes that's the first step in changing it. I do hope that you are able to find some peace for your mind.

  • Theresa_1973
    Theresa_1973 Posts: 51 Member
    nutmegoreo wrote: »
    You say that you are trying to find peace and control. Control is the telling word in what you have written. What would it feel like to resign yourself to giving up control? I'm not saying to eat mindlessly, but rather than feeling the need to control, just let that go. Trying to control or cling onto something that is impermanent, is one of the causes of suffering. Does that make sense to you?

    ETA: I am sorry for your struggles. What type of Buddhism do you practice?

    _/|\_ Namaste Msalicia,

    Firstly please let me say that Nutmegoreo has pretty much said what I was going to say - in your search for peace and control, you are in fact adding to your stress and making your problems worse, so I don't need to go into that, as it's already been said, and Buddhists don't waist words as we both know ...

    So I will say, I too am a Buddhist, I am a huge fan of His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama (we went to see him in Manchester in 2012 - what a wonderful man) and Tibetan Buddhism seems to be the way I am following - here in Sheffield we have a couple of Buddhist groups, I have tried two and I started to go to the Diamond Way group, then life got in the way - I started working nights and couldn't attend, so sadly I haven't been for some time - I do meditate at home though.

    If you want to add me as a friend, please feel free - my previous marriage was very abusive, it took me a few years to make changes, but now I am remarried to a wonderful man, so I also understand the impact of leaving an abusive relationship, I found Buddhism at the time of my marriage breakup and it helped me immensely.

    Whether you choose to add me to your friend list or not, I still want to wish you all the best and I sincerely hope you find your path and achieve the peace and happiness you deserve.

    Love & light my friend

    Trish (Theresa_1973)
  • lifeandleaves
    lifeandleaves Posts: 97 Member
    Secular mindfulness meditation is compatible with Buddhism and has helped me regain control after a similar situation.
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