My husband and my children could care less!

2swim
2swim Posts: 2 Member
edited September 29 in Health and Weight Loss
It is hard to plan meals when the rest of my family wants to eat fattening, unhealthy meals. My husband is from the mid-west and has absolutley NO clue about healthy eating....nor does he care. I occasionally see him gag when he is trying to eat a vegetable. Of couse, my children watch and do not want to eat it either! I am now fixing one meal for them and a different meal for me. This is getting somewhat expensive! I am buying different foods for me and for the family...my grocery bills have doubled! Any advise?

Replies

  • Bump...I'm saving this...my family is the same way and it is soooo irritating!
  • jid314
    jid314 Posts: 71
    It is hard to plan meals when the rest of my family wants to eat fattening, unhealthy meals. My husband is from the mid-west and has absolutley NO clue about healthy eating....nor does he care. I occasionally see him gag when he is trying to eat a vegetable. Of couse, my children watch and do not want to eat it either! I am now fixing one meal for them and a different meal for me. This is getting somewhat expensive! I am buying different foods for me and for the family...my grocery bills have doubled! Any advise?

    I am fortunate to have a wife who decided to start being conscious about what she eats as well, but in your situation, it is best to continue down the road you are on. I suggest buying less bad foods, enough so there is only enough for the unhealthy eaters, and buying good food with the money you save from the bad food.

    I have even started to be a bit of a snob when it comes to food at the peril of people thinking I'm a jerk! Tonight my wife's mother came over from a couple hours away and brought ribs to cook and covered them with barbecue sauce. I politely told them I was going to abstain and had them grill some turkey burgers right along side those nasty ribs :)

    I also took vegetables and turkey dogs to someone's house that was cooking out for us. I'm too dedicated to my lifestyle change and losing weight, and I've done great for 6 weeks, that I don't want to blow it. With the holiday weekend coming up I plan on staying on the diet, but I know it's crucial now to not "give in" to that "one" bad meal, because over an extended weekend it would be very easy to take on a second bad meal, and then a third.

    Stick with what you are doing and eating healthy while they eat their calorie-filled mess, and good luck to you!
  • PST0622
    PST0622 Posts: 115
    I have made subtle changes....light butter, light sour cream, using skim milk when cooking, using frozen veges instead of canned....so that the change will not be so drastic for them, but still healthier. I eat what they eat, but watch my portions, and if need be I add a big salad!!!!
  • SheilaSisco
    SheilaSisco Posts: 722 Member
    Here is my best friend's attitude and I've adopted it.... she says:

    "If I am doing the cooking, I'm going to fix what I want to eat. If my family doesn't like it they can fix their own or go hungry. There's food available, so it's their choice."

    I cook what I want.... if they don't like it they can eat it or not. If HE doesn't like it, he's welcome to make his own, but I will not fix more than one meal per mealtime because somebody else wants to be difficult...
  • if you only make healthy food and tell them that's whats for dinner. If they don't eat it then let them go hungry....after a day or two they will eat it. You have to instill healthy eating habits in your kids or they will end up in the same boat we are all in....struggling to lose weight and keep it off. Sit down and have a heart to heart with your hubby too. His behavior is disgraceful!
  • jpeper1966
    jpeper1966 Posts: 79
    I rarely eat the same meal as my wife and daughters. I cook my own meals though.
  • noveleigh
    noveleigh Posts: 10 Member
    I know how you feel. My hubby and I are living with his parents and brother due to the economy, and for the longest time and our rent includes food. We've both decided to eat healthier, but his parents are stuck in their own ways so we ended up buying a mini-fridge to store all of our healthy goodies. :(

    Erzsebet_1560...nice name. Borrowed from the famous Bathory version of Erzsebet?
  • Just_Bethy
    Just_Bethy Posts: 272
    I buy things like green giant frozen box veggies..then When I make chicken I leave the sauce off mine and add the mac and cheese and brocolli and biscuits to their plates..and only the roast garlic potatoes and chicken to mine...Same with Salmon...they get the fried rice and cresent rolls I get the salmon and teryaki veg box...Its makes it easier and as its just the sides not to expensive...
  • ceschwartz
    ceschwartz Posts: 240 Member
    My mom had the "Peanut butter and jelly" rule when we were growing up. If you didn't like what she made, you got to make yourself a sandwich. Rarely did we ever take her up on that.
  • MrsGriffin67
    MrsGriffin67 Posts: 485 Member
    I have made subtle changes....light butter, light sour cream, using skim milk when cooking, using frozen veges instead of canned....so that the change will not be so drastic for them, but still healthier. I eat what they eat, but watch my portions, and if need be I add a big salad!!!!

    That's pretty much what I do too. My hubby is deadset on NOT eating vegetables. Although he doesn't mind if we have just chicken and a salad for dinner. Thank God he supports me! But I've always raised my kids that what I make to eat is what there is to eat. Don't like it...too bad. Its gotten a little tougher since my daughter has become a vegetarian. But I make vegetarian spaghetti sauce with Quorn Grounds and no one noticed the difference. Just keep trying to change your habits and hopefully your family will eventually follow suit.
  • rodneyderrick
    rodneyderrick Posts: 483 Member
    I'm pretty lucky in this area too, but this is your family. They eat what you want them to eat, or they don't eat. You're the teacher. You teach them to eat healthy, and they'll eat good foods for life. You poison them with fatty foods, then you have to prepare for the consequences of that. I live in Oklahoma, and there are kids walking around here who've only seen fruit in a picture.
  • NicholeTrussell
    NicholeTrussell Posts: 22 Member
    I had a little trouble with this initially...I would shop for them and then if I had enough shop healthy for me...At my heaviest I topped out at 420. Needless to say...I had to finally sit down and say this is it...I started to change some things in the house and if they dont like it too bad. I can either make the changes or die sooner...that is how I feel about it.
    I started getting my shopping done first. Lots of fresh veggies and fruits. Whole grains. I started using the old advice shop the outside first then go to the rest.
    I dotn necessarily fix different meals..if we are having chicken I have chicken. If I make the potatoes I make enough for them, and I make a different side for me. We drink sweet tea.
    WIthout them knowing I started cooking healthier...I still cant get them to eat everything I prefer, but if I want steamed veggies...I make them some green beans or corn or something.
    I dont buy chips, soda or sweets in bulk at all..I buy them for the occasion or meal and only enough for them so they dont over eat and I dont have any.
    Little by little, I start to change something small...now they are slowly getting used to it...It takes awhile.
    Just have to be crafty...once they realize the changes...they are already used to them...and may even prefer them!
    Good luck!
  • bevsdietfor2011
    bevsdietfor2011 Posts: 361 Member
    I have had that problem too and it is very frustrating!!! My daughter is now on Weigh Watchers and has started eating healthy and I just tell my husband that he can eat if or go get something he wants. I use to be anorexic and he worries a lot about me too. My husband is about the only one who eats bad foods but when I fix something healthy I tell im in advance. Feel free to check out my profile and see if you would likre to add you. Looking forward to getting to know you better and help you on you


    Hugs
    Bev
  • TinaS88
    TinaS88 Posts: 817 Member
    I am going through the same thing....my husband says " he's not the one on a 'diet'.... Just try to get low-fat, fat free where ever you can. Also, google some 'healthy meal ideas'.... As for the children, YOU are the parent, and you should enforce good eating habits NOW or it will only get tougher. Also, explain that to your husband... they are watching him and if he won't eat them, they sure won't.

    We have our 4-year-old eating just about anything... even asparagus and brussel sprouts!
  • ajl2
    ajl2 Posts: 40 Member
    Here is my best friend's attitude and I've adopted it.... she says:

    "If I am doing the cooking, I'm going to fix what I want to eat. If my family doesn't like it they can fix their own or go hungry. There's food available, so it's their choice."

    I cook what I want.... if they don't like it they can eat it or not. If HE doesn't like it, he's welcome to make his own, but I will not fix more than one meal per mealtime because somebody else wants to be difficult...

    AMEN!!!!! I'm not a short-order cook. And you shouldn't have to be either.
  • Thriceshy
    Thriceshy Posts: 708 Member
    Here is my best friend's attitude and I've adopted it.... she says:

    "If I am doing the cooking, I'm going to fix what I want to eat. If my family doesn't like it they can fix their own or go hungry. There's food available, so it's their choice."

    I cook what I want.... if they don't like it they can eat it or not. If HE doesn't like it, he's welcome to make his own, but I will not fix more than one meal per mealtime because somebody else wants to be difficult...

    There you go. Or, as a friend recently told her teenage son, "I'm not running a restaurant, there is no menu for you to choose from. This is what I cook; if you don't like it, you know where the pots and pans are."

    Kris
  • Kayluv1996
    Kayluv1996 Posts: 15
    You should cook stuff thats good for them. If they dont like it them they dont eat. dont worry when they get hungry there gonna eat. explain that its good for them or give them a treat if they eat it. Just some ideas :)
  • themommie
    themommie Posts: 5,033 Member
    I make one meal but sometimes make side dishes that I don't eat
    or I bake potatoes and do a sweet potatoes for me
  • Make a different meal for yourself and its ok my mom always wants to make unhealthy meals lol
  • I understand what everyone is saying when they say it should be you're way or the highway, but I'm not so sure that really a very encouraging way to persuade them onto your side of the fence. Why would you want to push your disciple onto them, aren't you the one that admittedly has the problem? If they don't have a problem eating their own food choices, then why make it a problem?

    I would not recommend demanding they adhere to your eating preferences. However, I also would stick to my own eating preferences and refuse to cook their food for them. That way you stick to your own eating and allow them to their own as well. Nobody is backed into a corner or made to look like the bad guy just because they don't want to join your eating plan.

    My wife is not involved in my eating plan. When she wants to eat normal people food, I have no problem doing that - as long as I stay within my own eating plan. When we eat out, there nearly always something on the menu I can choose - even at McDonald's. At home, if I don't like what she's prepared, I can always make tuna.

    Just because I've suddenly decided to change my life by modifying my eating does not mean I should demand that my wife do it as well. So we talk and make decisions together about the foods we buy. She has her favorites, and I have substitutions I can eat when she wants something I don't want. It works out easy for everyone this way - or at least it has so far.

    I wish you great success in finding ways to make your eating plan workable with your family where everyone is comfortable.
  • karamille
    karamille Posts: 79 Member
    You know... this has been a big problem for me in the past and a lot of the reason while I have failed in the past two years to lose or even stop the gain. It is not realistic that you can continue to make multiple meals long term and stay on track. You've got to find a way to make one meal and make it work on a calorie budget.

    First - I think unrealistic to think you will be able to do 1200 gross calories eating what your family eats but no more unrealistic than thinking cooking 2 meals every meal can be a long term way to live. Plan on eating 1500 a day - this is totally do-able cooking one meal everybody eats. (200 for breakfast, 500 lunch, 500 dinner, 300 to snack or add extra cals to a meal where you need it) If 1200 net is your goal, then you've got 300 calories to burn during hte day.

    I do lots of salads on the side. I buy the box of baby field greens at the grocery. That box stays fresh for usually over a week in the fridge because you can reseal it. I fill up on that first, then eat my entree, which is about half the size of my husbands. Makes no different to me if he eats the side salad or not. I also like do a lot of "loaded baked potatoes" with either a salad or soup. I heat up some canned low fat chili, precooked refrigerated bacon, pull some light sour cream (don't by fat free - they will think it tastes like crap), 2% cheese, scallons, etc... My potato will automatically be cut in half with the other half either given to one of the kids, or put in the fridge for tomorrow. The other half I will top with a measured serving of cheese (really important to measure cheese), a measured scoop of chili, and 1 tbsp of sour cream - hubs will be absolutely loaded down. And thats fine. He has a great metabolism and can do that. But we have all eaten and I have only cooked one meal.

    I do the same thing with spagetti. I make it with meatballs, but I don't eat the meatballs or I save a little sauce back without ground meat and save back a little meat so I know exactly how many calories I'm getting. I'll pass on the garlic bread if I am close on calories but generally I get to have a slice of pepperidge farm garlic bread too. :)

    Tacos are easy too. 2 hard shells only have around 100 calories, depending on brand. You could have 4 shells for 200 cals. . Put your lettuce on first and fill that baby up. Then put your measured cheese on next, then your measured meat serving. Top with tomatoes, onions, olives - whatever. I even divide up a serving of light sour cream among my tacos. A light swipe is all you really need. Its a really filling meal you should be able to keep aroun 500 calories

    Whole roasted chicken. My family goes NUTs over it. (I use the barefoot contessa's recipe from food network). I still make mashed potatoes, but I use light butter, chicken broth, skim milk, light sour cream and I measure my serving. My family really likes rolls. Thats fine. I just started buying the precooked frozen ones. I ask them how many they want and make just that amount +1 for me. I make a salad or veggie to go with it, and if they chose not to eat it, then I have part of lunch taken care of tomorrow.

    If you want to see my food journal for more ideas on how to make traditional family meals work in 1500 cals, shoot me a friend request :)
  • Thriceshy
    Thriceshy Posts: 708 Member

    I would not recommend demanding they adhere to your eating preferences. However, I also would stick to my own eating preferences and refuse to cook their food for them. That way you stick to your own eating and allow them to their own as well. Nobody is backed into a corner or made to look like the bad guy just because they don't want to join your eating plan.

    Pretty much the point many of us were making, I believe. If they want different, they can prepare different on their own rather than forcing her to cook two separate meals each time.

    Kris
  • kitinboots
    kitinboots Posts: 589 Member
    I remember as a child not bring allowed to leave the table until we demolished whatever was on our plates. The number of times I sat there all evening because my mum cooked fish or ravioli or something I genuinely hated. For years I was adamant that I hated fish, thanks to those memories. I didn't have the courage to try White fish until I was 21, when I realised it wasn't the fish I disliked, it was the sauce my mum cooked it in.
    Maybe I would have realised earlier if she'd given me the option to have extra veggies instead of staring at a fish for an hour.
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