Things skinny people say...

clonesjer
clonesjer Posts: 13 Member
in Motivation and Support
So all my clothes are big and fall off me now. It's getting ridiculous. So I mentioned getting some new clothes to my wife and she offhandedly says "sure, if you plan on staying this way"

I know she didn't mean anything by it, but wth? Am I crazy to take offense from lack of calories? Of course I "plan" on staying this way.

Replies

  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,382 Member
    I don't usually need permission to buy new clothes. With that said, turn in your old too-big clothes at the Goodwill and pick up some that fit well (not necessarily at the Goodwill.) Your wifey will be pleased at your new look. :) I got rid of my too-big clothes and that helps me not to go back up in size.
  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,338 Member
    Just buy yourself new clothes, and let the comment slide (people sometimes say things like that because they don't want to be too positive, just in case...many people fall off the wagon, you just need to show her that you OWN that wagon!)....She'll figure out your intentions sooner than expected when she sees how hot, how CONFIDENT you are in your new gear!
  • LLT38
    LLT38 Posts: 172 Member
    I am sure your wife made an offhand comment and she didn't intend to be unsupportive. It depends how long you've been heavier and if she has seen your weight go and down a few times while you've known her. It may take her a little time to get used to the new you. As another poster said, point out to her that what she said wasn't supportive.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    That doesn't sound rude or passive aggressive or doubting to me. I mean, yeah, if you plan on staying a smaller size you will need smaller clothes.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    clonesjer wrote: »
    So all my clothes are big and fall off me now. It's getting ridiculous. So I mentioned getting some new clothes to my wife and she offhandedly says "sure, if you plan on staying this way"

    I know she didn't mean anything by it, but wth? Am I crazy to take offense from lack of calories? Of course I "plan" on staying this way.

    Are you at or close to your goal? Is she concerned about you buying a bunch of clothes that you will not fit in a few months as you lose more weight? Maybe she is concerned that your weight loss plan is not sustainable long term? You could ask her what she really meant or you could just move on with your life.
    I personally wouldn't take offense and just get some new clothes or get yours altered to fit better. If you are still losing maybe check thrift stores, ebay or consignment shops for less expensive clothes.
  • rankinsect
    rankinsect Posts: 2,238 Member
    clonesjer wrote: »
    So all my clothes are big and fall off me now. It's getting ridiculous. So I mentioned getting some new clothes to my wife and she offhandedly says "sure, if you plan on staying this way"

    I know she didn't mean anything by it, but wth? Am I crazy to take offense from lack of calories? Of course I "plan" on staying this way.

    Well, I think a lot of people actually don't "plan" to maintain their weight loss. They hope to maintain it, but hope is not a plan. Many people will have a plan to lose weight and not have a plan for how they will keep it off.
  • StacyChrz
    StacyChrz Posts: 865 Member
    I think it's important to let her know that the comment didn't come out the way she intended. Rather than being confrontational say something like "I know you didn't mean to sound like you don't support me, but that is how that comment sounded". It's important that we all let people know when they say things that hurt us. How else are they going to understand that we feel this way if we don't tell them? We just don't have to blow it out of proportion, either.
  • niblue
    niblue Posts: 339 Member
    Maybe you're taking it the wrong way and she was thinking you might lose more?
  • Elise4270
    Elise4270 Posts: 8,375 Member
    niblue wrote: »
    Maybe you're taking it the wrong way and she was thinking you might lose more?

    What I thought too. Get some new duds!
  • Obnoxa
    Obnoxa Posts: 187 Member
    Shedding the big clothes and getting threads that fit your new size is a great motivator, so I say go! Go right now! ;)
    It was more likely than not just a poorly thought out comment; you're well within your right to find it a little under-cutting but unless there's been many other back-handed comments, it likely wasn't meant to be as harsh as it came out.
  • 1shedev
    1shedev Posts: 144 Member
    Congratulations on your loss.
  • Shana67
    Shana67 Posts: 680 Member
    niblue wrote: »
    Maybe you're taking it the wrong way and she was thinking you might lose more?

    This is my thought exactly. Perhaps she thinks you're going to lose more. In any case, you should DEFINITELY talk to her about it because communication IS THE KEY to any successful relationship. Period. Talk about what she said, how it made you feel, and figure out what she truly meant. Don't let it fester.

    And HUGE congratulations on your weight loss :)
  • SylviazSpirit
    SylviazSpirit Posts: 694 Member
    Maybe she meant it in a good way like "if you plan on staying this way and not losing more..." The best thing to do is just ask and let her know how it made you feel. A good relationship is all about good communication. Hopefully once she knoes she can clarify and/or be careful in the future. She won't know if you don't tell her and no sense in letting it eat at you. Just bring it up in a calm, rational way. Like I said, she may have even meant that in a month you will be smaller and the ones you buy now will be too big :wink:

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