Things skinny people say...
clonesjer
Posts: 13 Member
So all my clothes are big and fall off me now. It's getting ridiculous. So I mentioned getting some new clothes to my wife and she offhandedly says "sure, if you plan on staying this way"
I know she didn't mean anything by it, but wth? Am I crazy to take offense from lack of calories? Of course I "plan" on staying this way.
I know she didn't mean anything by it, but wth? Am I crazy to take offense from lack of calories? Of course I "plan" on staying this way.
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Replies
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I might call her on that comment rather than getting angry. Let her know that it came across as a lack of faith and support in your hard work. I am going to bet it was a thoughtless comment, and more about her own issues than to do with you. Of course, I don't know your history and relationship.
And as I sit here thinking my response would be, "No, I still have a few more pounds to go to hit goal."5 -
I don't usually need permission to buy new clothes. With that said, turn in your old too-big clothes at the Goodwill and pick up some that fit well (not necessarily at the Goodwill.) Your wifey will be pleased at your new look. I got rid of my too-big clothes and that helps me not to go back up in size.3
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Just buy yourself new clothes, and let the comment slide (people sometimes say things like that because they don't want to be too positive, just in case...many people fall off the wagon, you just need to show her that you OWN that wagon!)....She'll figure out your intentions sooner than expected when she sees how hot, how CONFIDENT you are in your new gear!3
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I am sure your wife made an offhand comment and she didn't intend to be unsupportive. It depends how long you've been heavier and if she has seen your weight go and down a few times while you've known her. It may take her a little time to get used to the new you. As another poster said, point out to her that what she said wasn't supportive.1
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That doesn't sound rude or passive aggressive or doubting to me. I mean, yeah, if you plan on staying a smaller size you will need smaller clothes.1
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So all my clothes are big and fall off me now. It's getting ridiculous. So I mentioned getting some new clothes to my wife and she offhandedly says "sure, if you plan on staying this way"
I know she didn't mean anything by it, but wth? Am I crazy to take offense from lack of calories? Of course I "plan" on staying this way.
Are you at or close to your goal? Is she concerned about you buying a bunch of clothes that you will not fit in a few months as you lose more weight? Maybe she is concerned that your weight loss plan is not sustainable long term? You could ask her what she really meant or you could just move on with your life.
I personally wouldn't take offense and just get some new clothes or get yours altered to fit better. If you are still losing maybe check thrift stores, ebay or consignment shops for less expensive clothes.0 -
So all my clothes are big and fall off me now. It's getting ridiculous. So I mentioned getting some new clothes to my wife and she offhandedly says "sure, if you plan on staying this way"
I know she didn't mean anything by it, but wth? Am I crazy to take offense from lack of calories? Of course I "plan" on staying this way.
Well, I think a lot of people actually don't "plan" to maintain their weight loss. They hope to maintain it, but hope is not a plan. Many people will have a plan to lose weight and not have a plan for how they will keep it off.4 -
I think it's important to let her know that the comment didn't come out the way she intended. Rather than being confrontational say something like "I know you didn't mean to sound like you don't support me, but that is how that comment sounded". It's important that we all let people know when they say things that hurt us. How else are they going to understand that we feel this way if we don't tell them? We just don't have to blow it out of proportion, either.0
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Maybe you're taking it the wrong way and she was thinking you might lose more?3
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Shedding the big clothes and getting threads that fit your new size is a great motivator, so I say go! Go right now!
It was more likely than not just a poorly thought out comment; you're well within your right to find it a little under-cutting but unless there's been many other back-handed comments, it likely wasn't meant to be as harsh as it came out.1 -
Thanks everyone, I don't have to "ask permission" to buy clothes, we just adhere to a budget (the Dave Ramsey deal) so we were discussing next month.
She didn't mean anything by it, and in fairness I've been varying degrees of overweight since birth basically.
I tried on a 38 waist at the store yesterday and it surprisingly fit, which would explain why my 42s and 44s look a bit silly on me (and my belt has 3 hand punched holes). I'm at 75 down, goal was actually 20 lbs ago lol. New goal is 100 even.8 -
Congratulations on your loss.0
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Maybe you're taking it the wrong way and she was thinking you might lose more?
This is my thought exactly. Perhaps she thinks you're going to lose more. In any case, you should DEFINITELY talk to her about it because communication IS THE KEY to any successful relationship. Period. Talk about what she said, how it made you feel, and figure out what she truly meant. Don't let it fester.
And HUGE congratulations on your weight loss1 -
Maybe she meant it in a good way like "if you plan on staying this way and not losing more..." The best thing to do is just ask and let her know how it made you feel. A good relationship is all about good communication. Hopefully once she knoes she can clarify and/or be careful in the future. She won't know if you don't tell her and no sense in letting it eat at you. Just bring it up in a calm, rational way. Like I said, she may have even meant that in a month you will be smaller and the ones you buy now will be too big0
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