For those hubbys that don't get it!!!!

CWRose
CWRose Posts: 62
edited September 29 in Motivation and Support
Just out of curiosity, has MFP become an addiction for anyone else or is it just me??? My sister-in-law did it for awhile but she said she had to stop because her hubby was so tired of hearing how many cals were in his food. I tell my hubby all that stuff to but I can't quit MFP. I find it to be something extremely important in my journey. Besides, isn't it supposed to be about a greater purpose, ya know losing weight and all, getting healthy and fit?? To me it is way more than who is irritated about food cals. I think friends and family should understand due to how important it is to get and stay healthy. It's not JUST about being thin, while that is definitely a bonus, less chance heart attack or diabetes is the truly important part of it. If MFP can help anyone to achieve these goals, then why wouldn't one applaud the person who is putting in the work and effort to better themselves and their lives, along with leading by example for their children and friends. I'm done now, lol, I just love MFP and all my pals!!! I know I need you guys and what MFP offers, so I felt the need to defend! Thanks ladies for letting me vent! LOL I wish you all a Spectacular day and weekend!!!! :)
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Replies

  • Mills187
    Mills187 Posts: 171
    LOL I used to make fun of my wife ALL THE TIME and then I tried it out after hearing her rant and rave about how awesome it was and I LOVE it now im addicted!
  • marsgirlly
    marsgirlly Posts: 71 Member
    I think people who don't want to know about what's in their food are just being ignorant. Ignorance is bliss, after all.
  • Sealgirl
    Sealgirl Posts: 7
    Haha.. my husband is cool with me telling him how many calories are in his food. My sister was the one who got mad about it! She said I DON'T WANT TO KNOW. Just because you don't know doesn't mean its not 1000 calories ;)
  • rgoodearl
    rgoodearl Posts: 360 Member
    True, however, I'm one of those hubbys that counts everything and tend to share my thoughts with all my friends and family about making good choices about food and portions and exercise and so on.....
  • bobbiedr
    bobbiedr Posts: 260 Member
    At first my husband started getting annoyed at the fact that I was measuring EVERYTHING and looking at the calorie count for everything, but he's getting better. He actually stared looking at the calorie count himself for things, although he doesn't count them.

    My husband supports me on my journey, but he doesn't do it himself. He's the one that will grab a whole bag (normal size) of chips and go sit on the couch and eat out of the bag.

    I stopped MFP for a while due to me, not my husband. Now I'm back on it and determined to do better than last time.
  • mytime60
    mytime60 Posts: 176 Member
    My hubby doesn't mind the calorie counting; because he is watching what he eats too, but he gets a little annoyed with how much time I spend on MFP. He can't understand how much support I get here. Honestly, it's better than like family here; the people here actually care and are on the same journey.
  • sister_bear
    sister_bear Posts: 529 Member
    I'm very fortunate to have such a strong support network among my family and friends. The ones I know won't support me, probably don't even know I've made a change.

    As for my fiance, he joined the site shortly after me because he knew if he was watching out too, it would help me.
  • CWRose
    CWRose Posts: 62
    My husband is very supportive also, sometimes he ASKS me to check the cals for him. I love that, I just wish some people would be more understanding of the process and how much it takes from a person to succeed in this kind battle. I think some people don't want to know due to guilt for their actions! LOL :)
  • waverly9876
    waverly9876 Posts: 605 Member
    My bf is happy I lost over 20 lbs but he is sick of seeing me measure my food with measuring cups. He is eating better but doesnt measure his food. I was so suprised that when he went away to see his family, he told his mom that the foods she was making were bad bc of sodium , etc. I was so happy that he actually listens to me , even tho he pretends he doesnt :-)
  • bobbiedr
    bobbiedr Posts: 260 Member
    I have a coworker that doesn't even care to try to lose weight. she says that there's no point in dieting or watching what you eat because if "being fat" is in your genetics, you're going to be fat no matter what. You can't change anything. So she doesn't understand my journey, though she doesn't try to sabotage me or anything. She doesn't even agree with her daughter's journey on eating healthier. she goes to her daughter's for dinner and doesn't understand her cooking with ground turkey vs. ground beef.
  • acullen31
    acullen31 Posts: 87 Member
    Oh my goodness! This is my Husband too! It's not that he isnt supportive but he just doesnt understand. He has had an 8-pack ab's since birth and that's without exercising, lol. He can eat whatever he wants and not care. Me on the otherhand, has to workout and eat healthy. He get's annoyed that i'm constantly logging my food and exercise and just on MFP all the time. I just ignore him though =) I treat him the same way I do french fries.... ignore him (when it comes to MFP atleast =)
  • mrrodriguez
    mrrodriguez Posts: 158
    My wife has been really supportive of me. She used to run a weight loss program when she was in the Air Force, so she knows all the lingo. She bought a food scale, and writes out what we ate for dinner so I can log the calories. I think at first she was unhappy with how much time I spent with my face in the laptop before she started helping me. Now she's losing weight too. We have some very tasty food because she really likes to cook.

    I think I am really lucky.
  • reepobob
    reepobob Posts: 1,172 Member
    I don't talk to anyone about MFP anymore except with other MFP members or people who approach me and ask me what I have done to lose over 61 pounds...I don't even tell my wife what I burned, how much weight I lost that week or anything...she didn't want to hear it, so I stopped telling her...one of the many reasons I am getting a divorce...I am going one way and she is standing still (not just in fitness, but everything in life)...

    In other words, I feel your pain...and then some...
  • ChristineGray825
    ChristineGray825 Posts: 6
    My 5 year old has now taken to asking "how much protein is in this?" He will look at a label on a container of food (he can't read yet) and compare two snacks "mom, which one has more protein?" It drives my husband up the wall. But as a mom to children who have only ever known me to be morbidly obese, I think it is a great step toward making sure my children grow up knowing they have a choice as to what goes in their mouths. Hoping that they will never battle a weight problem.
  • Rae6503
    Rae6503 Posts: 6,294 Member
    I could see how it would be annoying to be told the calories of everything I eat if I wasn't interested. I cook healthy, and feed it to my family. Sometimes I make things for the kids and the husband and just don't eat it (like cheesey noodles or something, one of my kids is too skinny). I do brag to him when I lose weight and he's supportive of that. He wants to lose a little weight too but isn't willing to count calories, and I understand that approach too (and yeah, it's always been easier for him anyway). If he's home in the morning and the kids get up before I'm done with my workout he's supportive by trying to keep them upstairs and away from me. Husbands CAN be supportive without really getting into all of the specifics.
  • missbp
    missbp Posts: 601 Member
    I think you lead by example. Not by preaching. I have been at this for 125 days as of today. Since then, my husband, his mother, my sister and my niece have began dabbling in MFP. None seem to be as commited as I am, but that's ok. They all see that I am consistently losing weight and getting stronger. When and if they decide to get serious about it, I will be here to cheer them on. Until then, I keep doing my thing. I don't try to make them feel guilty about their choices. That would be just as bad as them attempting to make me feel guilty about mine.

    Michelle
  • CWRose
    CWRose Posts: 62
    I couldn't agree more, I just want people to see the bigger picture, ya know the reasons thats importance out weigh the chatter. I see no need to "preach" either, however, if one is excited about their progress or maybe just need to get new motivation for round 2 so to speak, they should be able to count on friends and family for the necessary support. My hubby is very interested in my journey so for me this isn't personal, I just have heard a lot of people who are having a hard time with the lack of personal support and some people even want to give up. I think there is a lot that can be done from both sides of the spectrum, one doesn't have to talk about it constantly but they should be able to talk about it some, and for the others, when they do hear about it they could try to uplift and edify as apposed to "i don't want to hear about it" . Give and take from both I think.
  • missjaiy
    missjaiy Posts: 58
    I think you lead by example. Not by preaching.

    I'm learning this is the approach I MUST take with my husband. After hearing me talk about MFP, he signed up for a profile (this is only 1 day after I joined). Yet, after he saw the commitment it takes to input every meal and note the calories, he told me he's can't do that. I did get mad, because he takes the time to log into FB or other sites, but now I'm starting to let it go. He laughs when we see me pulling food packages out the garbage to confirm the nutritional values, but he understands that I'm precise this way. His argument is that its all an "estimate" so why go all crazy over it. He's also working out, but he's not seeing the results as fast as mine are showing. I'm hoping this will motivate him to take more interest in what he eats. I'd admit I still catch myself puffing up to him drinking sodas or eating too many cookies. I love him, so that's only normal to be concerned about his physical health. But SILENCE does speak louder than words!

    Try it! Walk around the house happy and bouncing off the walls...he and others will get the point! I know you care about your hubby, and that's why you're inclined to want to persuade him to share your insight, but most men are not wired that way. Just let him figure out the benefit by your progress!
  • Countrymade
    Countrymade Posts: 183 Member
    We have a BBQ to go to today and he has to help get the chickens on. He got me up at 6:00 a.m. to go to the gym so he could be back in time..
    He is also starting to check nutrtition labels. I got him on MFP but he won't track and it was so hard for me to keep track of what he eats. I weigh and measure everything and he doesn't. He wants to do it his way so I am not complaining as long as he is watching what he eats and exercising. He is definately not a sedentary person even at home around the house. So it is good enough for me. When I was tracking for him. He wasn't eating enough but he said if I am not hungry. I don't want to eat. Could be why his weight loss is so slow. He will come around. Maybe.
  • sbwood888
    sbwood888 Posts: 953 Member
    I don't know about eveyone else, but I know in the times that I was not trying to lose weight, I thought that other people who talked about it all the time were just being preachy. Maybe this is how the hubby feels?? Just a suggestion.
  • angp7711
    angp7711 Posts: 324 Member
    My hubby is awesome and so supportive of me in all of my fitness and health adventures.

    As long as I don't bring my phone and log my diary at the dinner table. I get scolded quite often to either do it before I sit down or after, lol.

    I figure he has a valid point so I can't argue. I actually don't talk about MFP unless someone asks me what I am doing on my phone :). Then I have free reign to tell them all about it.
  • missjaiy
    missjaiy Posts: 58
    He wants to do it his way so I am not complaining as long as he is watching what he eats and exercising.....When I was tracking for him. He wasn't eating enough but he said if I am not hungry. I don't want to eat. Could be why his weight loss is so slow. He will come around. Maybe.

    Sound EXACTLY like my baby. I'm pretty sure this is why he's not losing as steady. His metabolism is still too slow. My husband has the same issue. Just help him out by packing his lunch for his day.
  • Amandanoralynn
    Amandanoralynn Posts: 231 Member
    I think you lead by example. Not by preaching.

    I'm learning this is the approach I MUST take with my husband. After hearing me talk about MFP, he signed up for a profile (this is only 1 day after I joined). Yet, after he saw the commitment it takes to input every meal and note the calories, he told me he's can't do that. I did get mad, because he takes the time to log into FB or other sites, but now I'm starting to let it go. He laughs when we see me pulling food packages out the garbage to confirm the nutritional values, but he understands that I'm precise this way. His argument is that its all an "estimate" so why go all crazy over it. He's also working out, but he's not seeing the results as fast as mine are showing. I'm hoping this will motivate him to take more interest in what he eats. I'd admit I still catch myself puffing up to him drinking sodas or eating too many cookies. I love him, so that's only normal to be concerned about his physical health. But SILENCE does speak louder than words!

    Try it! Walk around the house happy and bouncing off the walls...he and others will get the point! I know you care about your hubby, and that's why you're inclined to want to persuade him to share your insight, but most men are not wired that way. Just let him figure out the benefit by your progress!

    My daughter does a lot of the cooking and I too am always grabbing the meat packaging and other items to see what I need to log on to MFP to make it easier.. lololol She is learing to leave them on the counter for me so I do not have to dig for them.
  • bobbiedr
    bobbiedr Posts: 260 Member

    He's also working out, but he's not seeing the results as fast as mine are showing.

    This is my husband. He exercised with my every morning, but he wasn't really watching what he ate. The only time he watched what he ate is when I made dinner and I made something healthy. We'd go somewhere and wouldn't even bother making healthy choices, or he'd sit on the couch at 9-10pm and eat out of a bag of chips.

    He just couldn't understand why he wasn't losing any weight. Finally I told him that he can't just exercise and eat crap food and expect to lose weight. He needs to watch what he eats as well. That's the last I sai anything about it. I figure I'll let him make his own choices. Hopefully he will see me going down in size (hopefully I will too...) and hell see the effort I'm putting into it.
  • jojopel
    jojopel Posts: 348 Member
    Although he doesn't count calories, my husband is supportive. When he mentioned at the last minute last night that he wanted to eat out , he smiled when I told him I needed 10 minutes or so to check out the restaurant's nutritional info. :smile:
  • CWRose
    CWRose Posts: 62
    Thank you all for your input. Like I said before, my husband is very supportive and he is working on the losing thing to although he like many of yours doesn't track it either and again I am losing faster than he is. My home sounds like many of yours from pulling packages from the garbage to what my hubby is like. He is very proud of me and quite sweet about the whole thing. I don't think they have to be so on board that they do what I do, that is by no means what i think, I just felt really bad for my sister-in-law whose hubby told her that she made him feel guilty about what he was eating so he didn't want to hear it anymore and so she quit mfp because she said she knew she couldn't talk about. It wasn't a direct hit to any hubby or anyone else at all. Since my journey began I have lost 34 Lbs. and my hubby has more than noticed, now he wants to start riding his bike to work and he to is enjoying the healthy food that I cook, my kids love it to. I know all people man/women are different and different things work for each, but I think no matter what you do or don't do on your journey it makes it a lot easier if you can be excited about to someone. Like some of you I don't talk about mfp unless I'm asked, but I did talk about it a lot when I first started 4 months ago just out of happiness and excitement, I'm pretty sure that doesn't make me preachy, and I always told my family and friends, "I'm sorry, I know I talk about this a lot but I'm just excited!" and they all understood and mostly just laughed at me. :)
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    I would get irritated too if someone was constantly pointing out how many calories are in my food
  • jtsmou
    jtsmou Posts: 503 Member
    I would get irritated too if someone was constantly pointing out how many calories are in my food

    Me too....

    People seem to forget that friends and family are not responsible for helping them on this road, it's nice if they do, but ultimatly it is up to you alone. The same goes for them, they ultimatly have to make the decisions for themselves, and no amount of preaching to them is going to change that really. They will decide, if and or when they want to take the leap, and anything you say to them may or may not make a bit of difference.
  • CWRose
    CWRose Posts: 62
    I would get irritated too if someone was constantly pointing out how many calories are in my food

    Ya know I have to agree, I'm a smoker and I get sooo pissed when people comment constantly about it simply because I already know. Thank you to everyone for the added views. Taking into account the way people approach things definitely makes a difference. Thanks again all!! :)
  • Heather75
    Heather75 Posts: 3,386 Member
    Think of it this way. You know when someone gets back from vacation and wants to show you their photos? Looking through a few is okay, but having to look at 600 photos of castles, sunsets, and people they met on their trip who you do not know and will never meet is excruciating. Telling someone else, even a partner or family member, every single minute detail about the food you and they are consuming is, quite honestly, kind of rude and really, really boring.

    It's okay to be excited about what you are doing, but you cannot expect anyone else in the world to be as excited as you are. It isn't fair.

    If they ask, tell them. If they don't, then don't force your new lifestyle down their throats. Sometimes it can be nice to just think things without having to verbally express them.
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