Needing to vent....

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Obnoxa
Obnoxa Posts: 187 Member
edited June 2016 in Motivation and Support
I know I'm not the first person to complain about this, and I'm sure I won't be the last, but where the heck do people get off telling me (or anyone successfully losing weight) "you don't need to lose anymore" "well you look great, but you've lost enough now" !?
I'm 5'9 & 197 lbs! It's not like I look rail freaking thin! Granted, I carry weight pretty well, so a couple of my close friends have said they'd guess me around 160-170 but seriously, why is that acceptable?
Where were all these words of "concern" when I was tipping the scales at a cool 300 lbs? No one was telling me "you don't need to gain anymore" "you've gained enough now, this is going to impact your health".
The next time someone offers me all their tips on what they think MY physique should be I'm going to return the favor in kind >:)
I know in the grand scheme of things it doesn't seem like a big issue, and sure, I see the back-handed compliment in telling me I'm good to go now, but it's the audacity of thinking that criticism is acceptabe just because it's not considered insulting to notice weight loss.
For those who read through this, I thank you, it feels good to dump this all out. For those who can relate, I offer you a digital fist-pump in solidarity and for those in the earlier part of their journey, steel yourself because this crap is coming.

Replies

  • mathjulz
    mathjulz Posts: 5,514 Member
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    Probably a couple of things feed into it - they are used to seeing you at the heavier weight so you do look thin to them, and their own insecurities. Some people may be genuinely concerned, misguided as that sentiment may be, while others just feel threatened because your success may be making them feel more conscious of their own lack of success.

    Either way, probably the best thing to say is "thank you for your concern, I'm just working on getting healthier now" and don't let it develop into discussion of how much you've lost or still want to lose. Just smile and think of how much better you feel as you make these changes for yourself.

    :smile: :heart:
  • Obnoxa
    Obnoxa Posts: 187 Member
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    mathjulz wrote: »
    don't let it develop into discussion of how much you've lost or still want to lose. :

    THIS. You're so right! This is what happens, where I almost feel forced to defend myself and it launches into that.
    Sage advice, I will take it <3;)
  • Obnoxa
    Obnoxa Posts: 187 Member
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    TavistockToad wrote: »
    Stop talking about your weight, if people ask if you're losing weight say no.

    Job done.

    I don't bring it up, ever. But I could just deny it; that would shut it down! Hahaha :D
  • Lynzdee18
    Lynzdee18 Posts: 500 Member
    edited June 2016
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    Just tune them out. It's hard, but many think the weight of others is an acceptable comment. I don't think it is.

    I've posted on this before. There's another thread. More than one. I'm the girl whose husband was told to get her a sandwich. I haven't got a polite snappy come back yet. If you think of one, let me know. ;)
  • Obnoxa
    Obnoxa Posts: 187 Member
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    Ooh Lynzdee, ouch. I wouldn't be able to come up with anything polite for that either. Lots of comebacks, none remotely close to polite. :o
  • Kamikazeflutterby
    Kamikazeflutterby Posts: 775 Member
    edited June 2016
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    Lynzdee18 wrote: »
    Just tune them out. It's hard, but many think the weight of others is an acceptable comment. I don't think it is.

    I've posted on this before. There's another thread. More than one. I'm the girl whose husband was told to get her a sandwich. I haven't got a polite snappy come back yet. If you think of one, let me know. ;)

    "Nah, he's in charge of bringing the sausage."

    "I'm saving room for beer."

    If you want the mature adult comeback, sorry, can't help you. :)
  • dutchandkiwi
    dutchandkiwi Posts: 1,389 Member
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    I told a friend; I'll finish this when I am good and ready, just as I started this journey when I was good and ready to go. And no I am not done yet.
  • Obnoxa
    Obnoxa Posts: 187 Member
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    Concise and to the point, I like it!

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