A year ago, A year ago...

Lakedreamerlady
Lakedreamerlady Posts: 6 Member
in Getting Started
Without a doubt I never thought I would be here again, over the ideal weight that compliment my various medical conditions, but ice-cream and depression called and Voila!! I'm 20lbs of fat not fab over, ugh :(

I have no motivators at home, terrified of the 'fit' at my gym so would love to hear from anyone who gets what it's like to hit middle age and realize "this is it"...

I'm so disheartened, but vowed to start this process as even my husband said "no one wants to see you in a bikini" wth! !!!

Replies

  • bobsburgersfan
    bobsburgersfan Posts: 6,464 Member
    First of all, slap your husband for me...that's not a nice thing to say, ever!

    I don't know if I have much advice because I have far more to lose than you do. But I'm 40, and even a few years ago I realized that I was no longer able to lose weight easily, and I've come to accept that I'll always have to monitor my eating, even if I ever do get down to a normal weight. I'm not sure if that's what you meant, but in that sense I've realized that "this is it."

    My one piece of advice is don't be scared of the gym! None of those fit people are looking at you and judging...they are all there for themselves! In the last couple of years I've developed a consistent exercise routine at my gym. I actually weigh about the same but my body slimmed down quite a bit and I look and feel better. It has been totally worth it!
  • beaglebrandon
    beaglebrandon Posts: 97 Member
    edited June 2016
    There is no 'this is it' when you get older. It's just so much easier to not do anything about it and say 'I guess I'm destined to be fat'.

    I'm 47. 5'8". I was 223 pounds, and lost 35 pounds since March. I'm now at 188. I'll be losing another 20 before the end of summer to get to where I want to be - below 170.

    Motivation is the toughest thing. I've tried for the past 3 years, but I could never be consistent with my weight loss. I'd diet for a week or two, oh, only lost 1-2 pounds. That wasn't worth it. Then binge, and gain it all back. My motivation came from back pain, knee pain and the feeling that when I got up from my desk at work, walking to the bathroom or to my car was something I dreaded. I shouldn't dread just walking! That's ridiculous. I got my daughter a trampoline, I was too large to jump on it with her. I wanted to be able to play ball or wrestle with her without getting tuckered out. At some point, it clicked on me. Do I want to spend the next 20 years not being able to do anything athletic, and just exist, or do I want to be active?

    It's all about motivation and being consistent every day. You have to constantly think about the 'new you' 24/7 every day. My back problems, knee problems, and my walking dread are gone. I now LOVE to walk and be active. I can run for 10 minutes without a problem, where before 10 seconds was enough to tire me.

    I've had to change my motivation to stick with the next 20 pounds.... because health issues are gone, and I can now do everything I wanted to do. I'm now really close to my high school clothes, and I'd love to wear them again, and get a flat chest. So that's my motivation now.

    Oh, I had nobody to encourage me when I was 223. I had to buy a suit for a wedding I attended - I couldn't fit in my old suits. I was at the very last size the stores had - size 50. That was a very big motivator for me - really? I'm THAT big that I can't shop at regular stores if I go up one size larger? I need to shop at the big and tall stores? Everyone told me, 'well, that's what happens when you get older!'. I thought to myself 'no way! I can get fit'. And I have.
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,741 Member
    20 lbs isn't that much to lose, so don't be so discouraged. Have you treated your depression? That's a tough thing to deal with so seeking help and treatment that works is imperative.

    Do NOT be afraid of anyone at the gym! They all started somewhere, too. People are there doing their thing and not paying much attention to anyone else. Set a workout schedule and plan your workouts and just go do it.

    The comment from your husband certainly doesn't sit well with me, but not knowing him or you or your dynamics I'm not going to harp on that, but NO ONE has to have a specific shape or size to wear a bikini.
  • 2011rocket3touring
    2011rocket3touring Posts: 1,346 Member
    edited June 2016
    Lakedreamerlady wrote: »
    .....even my husband said "no one wants to see you in a bikini" wth! !!!

    Wow, just freakin' wow. I have no words to describe your husband that doesn't involve a string of profanities.
    20lbs overweight? Unless your 2 feet tall that just means a little extra bottom and as a latin boy, I don't mind... (honestly I like some extra bottom..)
    Wow....
    I should add; I just turned 50 and am down 20lbs in 2 months.
  • KetoneKaren
    KetoneKaren Posts: 6,412 Member
    Ummm does anyone want to see your impolite husband in a bikini? Just sayin'...anyway lots of men prefer a woman with curves, as it turns out, so don't worry too much about that. This has to be your journey, for your own reasons, so don't waste time on what other people think, just go do what you need to do to be happy.
  • HazeNV
    HazeNV Posts: 19 Member
    I am almost 38 and have shed close to 50 in 2 months with no support from my spouse whatsoever. I was very chubby looking before...big pot belly, huge fat face, and today I look like my profile pic. That was taken week 8. I don't do any strenuous workouts I'm almost purely diet minus some walking each day. I know what it's like to have an unsupportive spouse. My wife wanted to lose weight and I offered to change my entire lifestyle also to support her in her weight loss journey. I told her I would only eat when/what she was eating and not make her do it alone. Turned out she didn't want to stick to it but I stayed the course. I tried to be supportive and positive and tell her it wasn't too late, she could do it etc but she would get angry and yell at me or say she doesn't care and is fine with herself. Now if she sees me looking at my phone during or after a meal she gets mad because she assumes I'm tracking it on MFP. I'd still support and help her if she wanted me to...especially since I know so much about fitness and dieting now, but she instead interested. Just tells me I look gross and sick and that she doesn't want to be that way. I too would like to talk to some people that view a healthy lifestyle as a positive thing. @Lakedreamerlady I hope you stick to it even without his support. I did it solely for myself and to be able to be a better/more active dad for my kids and it's been entirely worth it even with the ridicule.
  • Dove0804
    Dove0804 Posts: 213 Member
    edited June 2016
    While exercise has a TON of benefits, if you really hate the gym then don't go. Really, no one there is going to care. 20 lbs overweight isn't that much, but it's good to catch it now. Exercise isn't essential for weight loss, though, if you really don't want to do it, as long as you have a caloric deficit.
    You can also find exercises that you like that DON'T involve going to the gym. Maybe some workout DVDs or a set of resistance bands you can use in your home might be more your speed. I don't know what kind of area you live in but hiking or walking through a park are also ways to keep moving that don't involve the gym. There's a lot of options you can look into.

    My depression is closely linked to my weight, and in my case I really had to take care of that before I could take care of the weight in any meaningful manner. I still struggle, but loving yourself is KEY. Stop telling yourself you're old or whatever and start saying "I'm an awesome person!" This is NOT it. You DON'T have to settle (and you shouldn't)!!!

    I also don't know about you or your husband or your dynamics, but I sure hope he doesn't talk to you like that on a regular basis. It's not really my place to say, but you may have to consider if some relationships (family, friends, etc.) might be too much extra weight for you, too.

    I'm rooting for you!
  • LivingtheLeanDream
    LivingtheLeanDream Posts: 13,342 Member
    I'm 47 and have never been fitter or looked better in my whole life so never blame age.

    You've got the tools here to get you started on the improved you - you won't regret it :smiley:

    Make that husband eat his words when you get to a healthier weight! (I'd like to give him a good slap for his comment btw! How very dare he! )
  • Kimberly_Harper
    Kimberly_Harper Posts: 409 Member
    Lakedreamerlady wrote: »
    Without a doubt I never thought I would be here again, over the ideal weight that compliment my various medical conditions, but ice-cream and depression called and Voila!! I'm 20lbs of fat not fab over, ugh :(

    I have no motivators at home, terrified of the 'fit' at my gym so would love to hear from anyone who gets what it's like to hit middle age and realize "this is it"...

    I'm so disheartened, but vowed to start this process as even my husband said "no one wants to see you in a bikini" wth! !!!

    Okay first, that was pretty sucky of your husband to say. What an *kitten*. You probably love him and all but seriously - wtf?

    Second, I used to believe the myth that you just get heavier as you age. Actually it isn't a myth, it is true if you keep doing the same ole thing. But at 47 I can look back over the past two years and think "Yep - I hit middle age and am HEALTHIER than I've been my whole adult life."

    You'll breeze through that 20 lbs in no time if you stick to your (MFP) goals. Just do a little experimenting to make staying in your calorie goal possible, then find something you like to do to stay active. If you just need the extra accountability or someone to help you along, hiring a personal trainer might work.
  • missymoe23
    missymoe23 Posts: 4 Member
    keithahayes78 wrote: »
    I am almost 38 and have shed close to 50 in 2 months with no support from my spouse whatsoever. I was very chubby looking before...big pot belly, huge fat face, and today I look like my profile pic. That was taken week 8. I don't do any strenuous workouts I'm almost purely diet minus some walking each day. I know what it's like to have an unsupportive spouse. My wife wanted to lose weight and I offered to change my entire lifestyle also to support her in her weight loss journey. I told her I would only eat when/what she was eating and not make her do it alone. Turned out she didn't want to stick to it but I stayed the course. I tried to be supportive and positive and tell her it wasn't too late, she could do it etc but she would get angry and yell at me or say she doesn't care and is fine with herself. Now if she sees me looking at my phone during or after a meal she gets mad because she assumes I'm tracking it on MFP. I'd still support and help her if she wanted me to...especially since I know so much about fitness and dieting now, but she instead interested. Just tells me I look gross and sick and that she doesn't want to be that way. I too would like to talk to some people that view a healthy lifestyle as a positive thing. @Lakedreamerlady I hope you stick to it even without his support. I did it solely for myself and to be able to be a better/more active dad for my kids and it's been entirely worth it even with the ridicule.

    Way to go! Be proud :)

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