on the wagon....again, sigh

Hello! I suppose i've been on a diet most of my life, not just adult life either,,,from being a kid. So about 2.5 years ago I kind of lost it as I truly was *dieting*, paleo/no sugar if you want to be specific, and still gained 14 pounds in a matter of several weeks. I became very obsessive about tracking and weighing and wouldn't so much as drink a diet pepsi without having to track it here. That led to binging.... Hence my breakdown, and saying F it to dieting. So here i sit now 211 and 45% BF and am thinking 180 wasn't so bad....although it wasn't as good as 160 (where i sat for quite a while). I have been exercising regularly in these past years (crossfit 3x/week), and played competative football this spring. And obviously eating what ever i pleased....

I guess i'm back on the wagon because i'm litterally uncomfortable in my own body,,,it's not *just* looks, my stomach and legs actually hurt from my size. I'm not so much struggling with cravings for a certain food right now, but i'm really struggling with being hungry. I've gotten used to feeling full after eating, and having a 400 cal lunch or supper ain't filling ya up.

I really want to get rid of fat so i can be better physically (and being able to shop in a costco wouldn't hurt either)