Grr what is wrong with me?

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mirandaclark717
mirandaclark717 Posts: 7 Member
in Motivation and Support
I am addicted to convenience. Know why I ate out tonight? Because I didn't want to wash dishes. Later. I wasn't even hungry, not even close, even though it was dinner time. But my thought process was "well, you'll probably be hungry later, and all the plates are dirty soooo you might as well just grab something on the way home." At least I just got a 6in from Subway but still.
I eat when I'm not even hungry. And I do it all. the. time. I like sweets, so I eat them. I love carbs, so I eat them. I graze and mindlessly eat. I eat when I'm happy, angry, sad, and bored. I eat when it's time to eat, even if my stomach isn't telling me it is time to eat. It's my hobby, apparently--in addition to my other hobbies (which all are unfortunately sedentary...I'm crafty and don't find much joy in outdoorsy activities. I can only go on so many walks before my kiddo and my dog are done with that.) And I'll catch myself doing it, or worse I'll catch myself doing it and my toddler mirroring what I'm doing and I'll feel awful for setting such a bad example. And then I'll go right back to doing it.
What the bleep is wrong with my head? I can't tell myself no. If I do, I think about it and think about it and then binge later on whatever it was I originally told myself I didn't need. And then I feel bad. But not bad enough to not do it again with some other food.
I want so badly to have another baby, but I know I can't handle getting bigger than I was with my first pregnancy. And I'm still about 20 lbs heavier than when I got pregnant last time. Which wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't nearly 270 lbs. My water broke at 299 lbs. I was incredibly miserable. Everything ached, and even though I know that is normal in the later weeks of pregnancy I'm pretty willing to bet my weight exaggerated everything. Plus, my maternity pictures weren't cute. I'm a photographer. I wanted cute maternity pictures. Instead, I just looked like I ate a big dinner and was cradling a full fat belly rather than a cute obvious baby bump.
I think of all of this after I'm full and have eaten sweets and carbs and junk food. I swear I'll remember the motivation I have now when it comes to time to eat again. And I think about it...and then I eat more crap.
Please tell me I'm not the only girl out there that is this addicted to food.

Replies

  • bsh52
    bsh52 Posts: 2 Member
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    Sounds like you need to do a sugar detox to get you started. Google it, there are many articles, plans etc. take one day at a time. Most of them are 10 days after which you will find that your cravings will diminish considerably. Start with that, next step remove processed foods. Do one thing at a time and it will also be much more healthy for your kiddo. Start incorporating exercise slowly. Exercise doesn't need to be running or weights or going to the gym, if you are sedentary just get up and move, jump around with you child, dance around the house, just move.
  • ofcsfoster36
    ofcsfoster36 Posts: 50 Member
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    I am the same way. I attribute it to the way I was raised. You wake up eat breakfast at noon you eat lunch and at 5-6 dinner everyday. So your body and brain is trained to think in terms of numbers on a clock not the true physiological aspect of being hungry. I have started waiting to eat when I wake up and extending my meals out until I am actually hungry. It is helping out with controlling my binge eating and over snacking.
  • onefortyone
    onefortyone Posts: 531 Member
    edited July 2016
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    I am kinda like this. All motivated while full, until I get hungry again. My 11 mo son is a big motivator because I don't want him to have weight problems/food issues like I have. Now he's eating 3 meals a day I make most/all meals with him in mind, so they have plenty of veggies and whole grains and all that good stuff.

    And meal planning helps me bigtime, if it's 3-4pm and we don't know what's for dinner, and don't have the right ingredients to make a meal, that's when we're most likely to eat out. And we're working on budgeting so meal planning helps with that too. Plus, having perishables in the fridge motivates us to use them up, because we HATE wasting food.

    I had a bad bout of stomach flu and had ZERO appetite for a few days. I ate just to keep up my milk supply and was pretty miserable stuffing food into myself, it sucked to go through but it taught me that if I'm legit not hungry, I don't have to force it (as long as I'm within 300 cals of my goal).

    Personally, I'm usually not hungry for breakfast so I'll just have water and coffee, then do my workout (20-30 min run with jogging stroller, that's all my son has patience for), and eat something light at about 10am while my son is having his snack. That gives me calories to have a bigger dinner, which is when my appetite is higher. So listen to your body and appetite, it is telling you what you need!

    Good luck, and I hope you can stop beating yourself up when you go over your calorie goal, I've found more motivation when I try to get into a positive cycle (a good calorie day, happy, can see progress, etc), than when I'm in a negative cycle (bad calorie day, beating myself up, not seeing a future where I weigh less).
  • lilligraz22
    lilligraz22 Posts: 183 Member
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    Hi Miranda.....you are not alone. You do have an addiction and that has got to be tough to deal with. Food is your drug of choice. The thing that gives you pleasure for nano seconds and makes you miserable for the remaining 23 hours a day. Have you thought about therapy to figure out why you use food for comfort? It all starts with a little switch that goes off in your head that says your life is worth so much more than that cookie. All the best of luck to you!!!!!!!! You CAN Do this!!!!
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    I prelog my whole day every morning and eat at pretty much the same times every single day. I plan meals. I don't wait for the mood to strike me.
    Cook a bunch at once for the week, make one pot meals, use a slow cooker, eat sandwiches off of paper plates, eat out and plan your order. Eating out doesn't mean you can't stick to your goals.
    Hunger cues are not trustworthy for many of us. Stick to your calorie deficit and it doesn't matter if you ate when you weren't hungry. Maybe eating at the same times would help you more than analyzing if you are hungry or not and beating yourself up unnecessarily.
    Set up a reasonable goal like 1 lb a week. Eat food you like every day instead of being crazy restrictive and then binging.
  • cherokeelovebat
    cherokeelovebat Posts: 3 Member
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    I used to be the same way. I craved carbs constantly for years. It became this vicious cycle where I'd beat myself up for not eating "healthy", stick to a low-calorie diet for a few days, then crash and binge eat chips or fast food. Then two things happened in my life. 1) I joined roller derby + exercising suddenly became fun and 2) I got assigned to write an article about sports nutrition for work and learned a lot from the research I did.

    Obviously, there is no one solution that works for everyone. But I'll share what I've been doing in case you find helpful. :)

    1) I calorie load breakfast - meaning I eat a higher amount of calories at breakfast time than lunch or dinner, usually. This way I don't have sugar crashes or get so hungry mid day I eat three cheeseburgers! I usually have oatmeal with flax, hemp hearts + walnuts and blueberries. Sometimes avocado toast w/an egg or peanut butter toast and a smoothie.

    2) I eat five times a day. My schedule tends to go breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner. I also try to eat protein with every single meal. Again, just helps me to feel full which means I don't spiral and binge later in the day. Also, I've learned to stockpile snacks like nuts, fruit, yogurt, popcorn, etc. so I don't automatically go for chips - because I will 100% eat a family sized bag otherwise.

    3) I started strength training. Increasing muscle mass also increases your metabolism. The higher your metabolism, the more calories you burn, even when resting. Plus it's fun to see guys jaws drop when you lift a ton of weight at the gym. :smiley:

    4) It's hard to lose weight through diet alone, so find workouts you actually enjoy doing. Try a bunch of stuff! Exercises I discovered I hate: Spinning, Zumba, running on a treadmill, the list goes on and on. But I kept trying stuff and eventually discovered I love roller derby, boxing and yoga. Now I actually look forward to working out, instead of dreading it!

    Hopefully, some of this is helpful. Know you are not alone + that no matter your weight, you are still a loveable and amazing person.
  • RoseTheWarrior
    RoseTheWarrior Posts: 2,035 Member
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    I can sense your frustration in your OP. First though, disregard anything to do with a detox. They are just garbage and a way to part with money for an over-priced laxative.

    You say you are mindlessly eating, but really you're not. You are aware of what you're doing. That means you can change it. I can tell you, after losing 80 lbs in 10 months, that motivation is not something to base a lifestyle change on. And that is what you will need. A lifestyle change. That will require discipline more than anything. You must determine how badly you want to change. If it's worth it to you, you will do it.

    You don't have to do any particular diet. Just start logging what you eat now. Log completely honestly, and weigh all your food and measure all your liquids. Once you know what you're eating, specifically, start making small changes. Look at portions, or making sure that with every meal you eat complex carbs, healthy fats, and protein. These are things that help you stay full.

    Start exercising when you can. Despite what another poster said, it is entirely possible to lose weight effectively with only changes to your diet. But exercise can make you feel better, and it's good for your overall health. Just a 30 minute walk is good, if you're used to being sedentary. Find something you might like to do. Don't force yourself to do something you hate because you think you "should". You won't stick with it.

    Most importantly, this is a mental battle. Every time you are about to eat something, you're making a choice. You are choosing to stay as you are, or you are choosing to make changes that will benefit you and your family. Believe you can do it. Believe it 100%. But if you have a less than stellar meal, don't beat yourself up. Log it, and get right back to it. Work on changing the "all or nothing" attitude that so many of us start with. You CAN do this. I promise you, it will be worth it. If you start today, think of how far you can go in 6 months or 12 months. Think of how much better you'll feel. Good luck :smile:
  • RoseTheWarrior
    RoseTheWarrior Posts: 2,035 Member
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    PS... there's nothing at all "wrong" with you. You've simply learned poor eating habits. Habits can change. Your habits don't make you wrong or bad. Start with loving yourself and treating yourself with respect and kindness.
  • Koldnomore
    Koldnomore Posts: 1,613 Member
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    I have the same problem. Given free rein, I will eat EVERYTHING, all day, all night. I know what you are going through.

    I managed to lose about 90 lbs in total over a couple of years. I'm back to it myself trying to stop eating all the time - again. I started the same way I did it the first time. Start logging everything, even the crap, the bags of cookies / chips, all the binges. Just log it. Get used to the process. Make SMALL changes, eat a little less, drink more water (this helps me immensely). Try to move a bit more, even if it's just a walk, you don't have to sign up for a gym or go crazy.

    It sucks and I still want to eat all the food, it's a struggle every day, BUT..It gets a little easier every day that passes. Just stick with it, don't give up - you got this!
  • mirandaclark717
    mirandaclark717 Posts: 7 Member
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    Thank you everyone. I'm pretty proud of myself today. I wasn't trying to eat well, actually my breakfast this morning was eaten with the mentality of this being my last yummy fast food breakfast for a while. But, I didn't snack and I told myself no when I started to reach for something when I wasn't really hungry. I did still go over on my calories but only by a few hundred.
    I feel like I am in a pretty good place with starting in on really trying in the morning. I plan on getting some groceries in making sure that there are a lot more healthy options in my refrigerator. Hopefully I can be a good role model for my daughter and hopefully my husband will be on board as well.
    I did look up a few different options for a detox to try just out of curiosity. I found one that I'm going to try but it's not a full one fasting crazy detox that I know I wouldn't be able to keep up on a regular basis. I won't be starving myself. It's basically just making sure to drink a bunch of extra water with some lemon and cranberry juice in it (Jillian Michaels 7-day detox minus the dandelion tea subbing green tea instead since I don't think I'd ever drink dandelion tea for anything else). I love my diet soda and I'm not the biggest fan of water so if nothing else this will make me more conscious of drinking more water.
    I am motivated but I am also full at the moment ha ha. But either way wish me luck :-)

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