Motivation.. whats that?

Hi all, im new to this whole forum thing and to be honest im probably going to suck at coming on it and responding for any length of time because I have little staying power, will power or motivation. Hence why I am still little miss tubby!

So I am 5'5 about 136lbs and very wobbly round the edges. I have been working hard for the last 4 weeks with both drastic changes to diet and shocking my body into exercise!!! It hates me right now! I hurt.

My goal is not particuarly weight focused but body shape. I dont mind weighing 136lbs if its a nice tight and muscular.. but 136lbs of jelly on a plate is just too much!

My main problem is definately keeping up the pace. I would love to get into weight lifting and have been creeping closer and closer to the weight section of my gym, I just have not managed to find my self stumbling onto a bench with a dumbell in my hand yet. Im hoping writing this and having people to update with my progress and fear of failure/humiliation might push me to keep going until I start to see/feel changes happening which will then encourage me more.

Right now I feel like I have given up hot melty chocolate fudge cake with iced cream, pizza night, chinese & indian takeaways and my fave macdonalds chicken wraps.. combined with the pain and torture of sweaty gym workouts for hours which I will never recoupe for nothing because so far NOTHING HAS HAPPENED!!!! Please tell me i will see changes soon? And if you dont think I will.. just lie to me anyway!

Thanks for reading my crazy rant! NSX