My Weight is a Topic for Discussion?

Hi, I'm mom to a wonderful, bright, slightly fussy (ok, very fussy), 11 month old daughter. Along with the baby came an extra 10lbs. which I'm trying to lose, but until recently, it hasn't been a priority.
Previously, I worked as a fitness model (5'2" 94 lbs) & was in excellent shape. Just over the past 2 or 3 weeks I've run into some former fitness acquaintances and they've ALL commented on my weight gain. Wouldn't the classy thing be not to mention it? Lol. Anyway, it's taken a real hit on my self-esteem. I'm feeling very low and unmotivated. Anyone have any similar experiences or words of advice? I know the classic advice of ignore what people say, which is great, but easier in theory than in practice. I guess I just need someone to reassure me that with hard work I can, maybe not get back to where I was, but make improvements, maybe even model again...

Replies

lenoresdream

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Unfortunately sometimes people man well but do more harm than good.

Stay strong, op. Focus on what is best for you and your baby right now. I've seen some mommies bounce back to pre-baby bodies but I have no personal advice to offer myself as I've never been pregnant or a mom.

I believe if you were so dedicated before as to be a fitness model you can find that inside yourself again.

Good luck op! And congrats on your baby!

trinabot19

We are similar in goals!! I am 5'1 and looking to lose 10-15 pounds as well..my goal weight is somewhere between 100-109...which was my normal weight that I had been most my high school life (im 25)...I am currently around 121-123! Ive only just started MFP a few weeks ago and Im still learning but every day is getting easier : ) Only advice I can give atm is to give your new routine some time to kick in and for your body to get used to the changes! Don't try to do too much too fast or you might not stick with it.

meritage4

Just smile and hug your daughter and say "But she was worth it" and change the subject.

Brans34

I've had that happen, too. I had my first two 10 days shy of a year apart. I ran into an old high school friend that said, "wow, you put on some weight, haven't you?!" I had a 1 year old in a high chair, and a 2 month old in a car seat. I just said, yep, that's what happens when you grow new humans. It hurt my feelings a LOT though. I think some people just don't realize what they're saying. I also happen to be one of those women that are miserable when pregnant. The babies ride my sciatic nerve an I can't do much of anything. I can be walking and almost collapse when I feel like I et stabbed in the back, everything is achy ALL the time, and I start gaining weight the instant of conception, even if I don't eat any more, and don't cut down on my activity level. You're actually lucky. I gained at least 40 lbs with each of my 4 kids. It took me 2-3 years to lose the weight from the first 3. I was in my 30's with the last one, he's 4 now, and I still have another 15-20 lbs to lose. Just remember, it took you 9 months to grow an entire human, and it's always twice as hard to lose the weight than it is to gain it, so you should give yourself twice as long to lose it. Next time, I agree that you should hug your beautiful baby and say, yep, she was worth every bit of it. Then ask how much they gained while creating life.

Tabbycat00

Thank you everyone! I really appreciate all the support. And yeah, she was so worth it.

distinctlybeautiful

You know, I wonder if they feel like your body is up for discussion because it was such a big part of your profession. I'm not saying it's appropriate, but maybe because your body was on display as a model they feel like it's somehow ok to comment on it. Maybe you can just make it equally awkward for them. I'm not sure what they're saying, but for example, if they say, "oh, I thought you'd have lost the weight by now," you could say "oh, I thought you'd be polite and not mention it." Maybe that's a little extreme, but you could try saying it in a joking way to make it easier to take while still pointing out they're being rude. Just a thought!

lenoresdream

distinctlybeautiful wrote: »

You know, I wonder if they feel like your body is up for discussion because it was such a big part of your profession. I'm not saying it's appropriate, but maybe because your body was on display as a model they feel like it's somehow ok to comment on it. Maybe you can just make it equally awkward for them. I'm not sure what they're saying, but for example, if they say, "oh, I thought you'd have lost the weight by now," you could say "oh, I thought you'd be polite and not mention it." Maybe that's a little extreme, but you could try saying it in a joking way to make it easier to take while still pointing out they're being rude. Just a thought!

oh snap lol!

Lounmoun

Tabbycat00 wrote: »

Hi, I'm mom to a wonderful, bright, slightly fussy (ok, very fussy), 11 month old daughter. Along with the baby came an extra 10lbs. which I'm trying to lose, but until recently, it hasn't been a priority.
Previously, I worked as a fitness model (5'2" 94 lbs) & was in excellent shape. Just over the past 2 or 3 weeks I've run into some former fitness acquaintances and they've ALL commented on my weight gain. Wouldn't the classy thing be not to mention it? Lol. Anyway, it's taken a real hit on my self-esteem. I'm feeling very low and unmotivated. Anyone have any similar experiences or words of advice? I know the classic advice of ignore what people say, which is great, but easier in theory than in practice. I guess I just need someone to reassure me that with hard work I can, maybe not get back to where I was, but make improvements, maybe even model again...

You are not currently a fitness model. Do you plan to return to fitness modeling? Is it important to you to look like a fitness model. Did you look down on people who do not look like fitness models and make negative comments about bodies in the past with these people?
You are a healthy weight for your height right now and have a baby to care for. You don't need to lose 10 lbs unless you want to.
Priorities change. Thoughts change. Lifestyles change. Bodies change. I think what you should do is think about what your priorities and goals are now and not how those people see others.

Tabbycat00

[quote="Lounmoun;36989498"

You are not currently a fitness model. Do you plan to return to fitness modeling? Is it important to you to look like a fitness model. Did you look down on people who do not look like fitness models and make negative comments about bodies in the past with these people?
You are a healthy weight for your height right now and have a baby to care for. You don't need to lose 10 lbs unless you want to.
Priorities change. Thoughts change. Lifestyles change. Bodies change. I think what you should do is think about what your priorities and goals are now and not how those people see others.[/quote]

Hi. Yes. I would love to return to modeling and would be greatful for the opportunity although my family, my full-time job & finishing my Ph.D. are larger priorities at the moment. Not much, right? Lol. For the record I have never nor would ever make negative comments about the bodies of others. And I don't think these people were trying to be mean (they are all models as well), I think that they were just making comments about what they saw not knowing that I had a history of anorexia and low self-esteem which is why I was reaching out and asking if anyone had similar experiences and the proper way to react. Because, I wanted to cry...but that's probably not what normal people do. But, to be perfectly honest, yes looking good and feeling good are a priority to me and I do not feel comfortable at the weight I am currently at. I'm selfish. I don't care about anyone else's body, I don't judge. I don't look at people and think about their weight just because I'm unhappy with my own. I guess what I should have asked was "has anyone ever said anything about your weight gain that hurt your feelings" and never mentioned modeling or any background. I tend to talk too much...case in point.

UnicornAmandaPanda

I am so sorry!

JaneSnowe

You can't go wrong with a simple "Thank you for your concern" and a change of subject!

PS: Many people would kill to be ~100 lbs! Anyone who would comment on a tiny bit of baby weight is rude and isn't worth the effort to even roll your eyes. Show them what true class is!

OlyCapitalChick

Mean.
Arg.

Stay classy. Stay wise. Stay focused. Dig deep and be the success.

The last one you saw will be 50 pounds heavier by this time next year and look awful due to a new developed allergy. When you see him/her you will be a true wonderful human and offer help.

(Hexed 'em for ya hahahaha just kidding)

rsleighty

Sorry...Sometimes people just suck.