Blind Date ... Awkward!!!!

cupboard_stalking
cupboard_stalking Posts: 19 Member
in Chit-Chat
I split up from a long term relationship about a month or so ago, and my very good friend's advice is "get straight back on the horse!" Now, her version of that is "jump straight back in the sack with whoever" but to be honest that's not my thing, I don't enjoy one night stands, I'm just not made that way, there is nothing wrong with it, it's just does make me feel good.

BUT, she has decided in her opinion that her friend Jason is perfect for me and has sent me his number and told me to call him... and keeps messaging me to call him... all day long "Have you called him yet?" pestering me all day at work...


I do not make a good first impression, I hate small talk and can't make conversation especially if I don't know someone. I'm shy and geeky and self-esteem has always been an issue, it's not going to change! So, you see, cold calling someone is my worst nightmare and God knows what she has told this bloke about me!!!

She won't arrange a social occasion for us to first informally meet, she's just like "call him, what have you got to lose?" ... and yeah, I agree. If the worst happens then I'm not really going to come to any harm. I should call him or I'm going to miss out on an opportunity even if it goes nowhere.

So, i need some help from you lovely people all over the world... what do I do? What do I say when I call him? How do I not die from cringe and get him to go on one date with me. I need some arsenal to get through this!!!!!!!

Emilee xx

Replies

  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • cupboard_stalking
    cupboard_stalking Posts: 19 Member
    Villae81 wrote: »
    Whatswrong with him calling you?

    She hasn't given him my number... but yeah, it would be nice!
  • cupboard_stalking
    cupboard_stalking Posts: 19 Member
    salembambi wrote: »
    stalk his facebook first

    I have, he's got a couple of profile changes but appears not to be a regular poster... frustrating! Ok looking though?
  • tcunbeliever
    tcunbeliever Posts: 8,219 Member
    If your friend really thinks he would be perfect for you, she would make the effort to arrange a social occasion even if it's something small like meeting somewhere for happy hour appetizers and drinks with just the three of you.

    If you are not comfortable calling him, then don't feel obligated to call him just because your friend tells you to, you are the one that has to live your life, not her, and quite frankly she sounds like a bad friend.
  • cupboard_stalking
    cupboard_stalking Posts: 19 Member
    _A_Real_Mouthful wrote: »
    really oughtta just call to set up the logistics of a date. you won't be able to tell what he's like over the phone. tell him to go to the gym with you for a workout and how its your second favorite way to get hot and sweaty. something like that.

    Sensible, but i'm so awkward... this is going to be so cringy!!!
  • Mandygring
    Mandygring Posts: 704 Member
    Do whatever you want to do and if it's not attraction then hopefully you've at least got a new friend:)
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • 2011rocket3touring
    2011rocket3touring Posts: 1,346 Member
    Check his Linkedin profile. He may be more active there.
  • cupboard_stalking
    cupboard_stalking Posts: 19 Member
    2011rocket3touring wrote: »
    Check his Linkedin profile. He may be more active there.

    Good idea!
  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
    Are you okay with sharing your number? If so, tell your friend to have him call you (if you feel that awkward about it and she's so adamant). If he's interested, he'll call. I personally don't think you should be the one to call him, not initially.
  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
    Sugar_Pill wrote: »
    J_Surita3 wrote: »
    Are you okay with sharing your number? If so, tell your friend to have him call you (if you feel that awkward about it and she's so adamant). If he's interested, he'll call. I personally don't think you should be the one to call him, not initially.

    I disagree... The whole "don't call/text first" rule people have adopted is silly. Same goes for making the first move in & out of relationships.

    YOLO... Or some equally annoying closing point.

    I'd hardly call it a rule but sure, it could be silly to some. I just think if her friend is that adamant and she's not comfortable, then have him call. No biggie. I think the whole YOLO thing is sillier though.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • kate141987
    kate141987 Posts: 513 Member
    Sugar_Pill wrote: »
    J_Surita3 wrote: »
    Are you okay with sharing your number? If so, tell your friend to have him call you (if you feel that awkward about it and she's so adamant). If he's interested, he'll call. I personally don't think you should be the one to call him, not initially.

    I disagree... The whole "don't call/text first" rule people have adopted is silly. Same goes for making the first move in & out of relationships.

    YOLO... Or some equally annoying closing point.

    I agree when I was looking for a bf on plenty of fish I just messaged the guy I liked, and told him I would like to meet him he's been my bf for over 3 years now, can't get rid of him lol jokes.
    He even tried to say it was him who messaged ME first I think he was just surprised at my confidence in being so forthright.
    Btw OP, alcohol really helps in these akward moments, usually just to get you over the shyness/awkwardness
  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
    ClubSilencio wrote: »
    I'd be cautious if I were you.

    A friend of mine did the same thing (set me up on a blind date with a friend).

    But when I met her she told me I looked hideous and stranded me at the Applebee's bar.

    I asked my friend, "Why did you hang me out to dry like that?"

    My friend's eyes watered up and then he leaned in and kissed me softly on the lips and said, "Now I have you all to myself."

    WTH?




    Wow!
  • glassyo
    glassyo Posts: 7,735 Member
    ClubSilencio wrote: »
    I'd be cautious if I were you.

    A friend of mine did the same thing (set me up on a blind date with a friend).

    But when I met her she told me I looked hideous and stranded me at the Applebee's bar.

    I asked my friend, "Why did you hang me out to dry like that?"

    My friend's eyes watered up and then he leaned in and kissed me softly on the lips and said, "Now I have you all to myself."

    WTH?




    That was hot.
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    Do the fellow a favor and ignore your erstwhile, perhaps former, friend.
  • CincyNeid
    CincyNeid Posts: 1,249 Member
    edited July 2016
    salembambi wrote: »
    stalk his facebook first

    Might not work. If he is like me. It's locked up tighter than Fort Knox.
  • Dove0804
    Dove0804 Posts: 213 Member
    Kind of a weird situation. If my friend did that to me I'd be like "No way. If you really want me to meet this guy, set up a time when we can all hang out. Otherwise, I'm not blindly calling someone I don't know." Some people might be comfortable doing that, but I wouldn't be, and you obviously aren't either.
  • Tsartele
    Tsartele Posts: 683 Member
    edited July 2016
    You could call but I would text him/her. Exchange photos and if they interest you... meet them for something informal like coffee or lunch.
  • cupboard_stalking
    cupboard_stalking Posts: 19 Member
    Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
    Never call a guy like that. Your friend's a weirdo.

    Hahaha, i knew this!!!! Now I have proof!!! :()
  • tmi_gang
    tmi_gang Posts: 781 Member
    I had a blind date once. It's not fun having to guide her through the restaurant.


    That was a terrible joke. Shut up.
  • JUiCY_KiSS
    JUiCY_KiSS Posts: 8,512 Member
    newmeadow wrote: »
    cupboard_stalking wrote: »
    I split up from a long term relationship about a month or so ago, and my very good friend's advice is "get straight back on the horse!" Now, her version of that is "jump straight back in the sack with whoever" but to be honest that's not my thing, I don't enjoy one night stands, I'm just not made that way, there is nothing wrong with it, it's just does make me feel good.

    BUT, she has decided in her opinion that her friend Jason is perfect for me and has sent me his number and told me to call him... and keeps messaging me to call him... all day long "Have you called him yet?" pestering me all day at work...


    I do not make a good first impression, I hate small talk and can't make conversation especially if I don't know someone. I'm shy and geeky and self-esteem has always been an issue, it's not going to change! So, you see, cold calling someone is my worst nightmare and God knows what she has told this bloke about me!!!

    She won't arrange a social occasion for us to first informally meet, she's just like "call him, what have you got to lose?" ... and yeah, I agree. If the worst happens then I'm not really going to come to any harm. I should call him or I'm going to miss out on an opportunity even if it goes nowhere.

    So, i need some help from you lovely people all over the world... what do I do? What do I say when I call him? How do I not die from cringe and get him to go on one date with me. I need some arsenal to get through this!!!!!!!

    Emilee xx

    If he's interested, he'll ask your friend for permission to obtain your phone number. She, in turn, if she has any discretion or courtesy, will call you - get your permission - and if it's granted, give your number to Jason. Then he'll call you and introduce himself, and you can discern what his intentions are from the tone of the conversation. From the way you describe your friend though, I'd think twice about allowing her to set you up on dates. You two aren't on the same page - which you should be thankful for, by the way.

    I agree

  • LouLouStBijou
    LouLouStBijou Posts: 987 Member
    I think I would still be too shy to call someone new and I am no even close to being introverted.
  • saragd012
    saragd012 Posts: 693 Member
    Since it seems you are not interested in something super casual, I wouldn't feel that risks outweighed reward here. You're most likely going to be rebounding from your ex (which is 100% fine but rebounds are more likely to get messy if you aren't on the same page) and if it gets messy then you have to deal with the awkwardness of mutual friends and prying questions.

    If you want to start meeting new people and getting back out there for sure do it, but I'd avoid blind dates.
  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,855 Member
    What is this "calling" you speak of?.. The way this works is that you give your friend permission to give him YOUR number, then HE texts YOU. This whole "You should call him" business is nonsense.

    Now that that's out of the way. . Can I get your friend's number?
  • jbconnelly
    jbconnelly Posts: 170 Member
    After reading through this, I can't tell if this is a "too shy to call" issue or "women shouldn't reach out to men first" issue?

    For the latter, that way of thinking is way outdated. We are all adults here, it doesn't matter who calls who. If you have the number just call and see if they want to get a drink. The worst thing he says is "no."

    For the former, dating is all about getting out of your comfort zone. You'd be amazed how you feel after doing something you wouldn't normally do. Give him a call and just have fun!
  • glassyo
    glassyo Posts: 7,735 Member
    Personally, I'd be so turned off by your friend's nagging that I wouldn't call out of spite.

Categories