Sabotage.

Options
HollyTsiaussis
HollyTsiaussis Posts: 415 Member
in Motivation and Support
My mom is constantly buying fattening foods and going to get fast food. It really makes me have a rough time staying on my diet plan. I tell her how this makes me feel, and she says she'll eat whatever she wants. She weighs about 350 pounds, so it's not like she could afford eating those foods either. What should I do to make sure I keep myself on track at all times, even with tempting foods in the house?
«1

Replies

  • Libby9
    Libby9 Posts: 45
    Options
    Just take a look at your mum - think about what you could be like! She is your personal inspiration for keeping healthy.
    Good luck xx
  • HollyTsiaussis
    HollyTsiaussis Posts: 415 Member
    Options
    That's true. I really want her to get healthy though. I keep thinking about her weight just as much as my own. :(
  • RoxMyWorld
    RoxMyWorld Posts: 127 Member
    Options
    You cant control anybody but you. You can however show her how fun and easy a healthy lifestyle can be and maybe she will be inspried!!
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
    Options
    1) You can't make your mom be healthy. She's right, she CAN eat whatever she wants and it's no one's place to judge her happiness except herself.

    2) It's not sabotage for her to buy food for herself that you just happen to crave. It's an unfortunate situation for you because it makes your journey a bit more difficult but she's not sneaking sugar into your water, or putting a stick of butter on your vegetables. YOU can choose what you eat and if you don't like what she buys or cooks then go get yourself something else.
  • chevy88grl
    chevy88grl Posts: 3,937 Member
    Options
    Unfortunately, you can't make her live a healthier lifestyle. The only person who can change her life is her. You have to focus on making YOU healthier. Perhaps she'll see you thinner, healthier and happier and will decide she wants to change too. If she doesn't, you have to accept that it is her life and simply focus on you. I know it is hard, but we can't change others.
  • bunchesonothing
    bunchesonothing Posts: 1,015 Member
    Options
    Maybe her mind will change when she sees your fab results!

    You can't willfully change someone's mind, unless you know a real world jedi mind trick.. I'm sure she knows she should be doing something about her weight. Truth is, she is right, she can eat as she pleases. It's not sabotaging you. She's living the life she wants to live.
  • HollyTsiaussis
    HollyTsiaussis Posts: 415 Member
    Options
    She was starting to diet with me in the beginning. She even lost about ten pounds! However, she starting eating all the wrong foods again. :( But, you're right.
  • mamadragon
    mamadragon Posts: 110
    Options
    Just remember that you are losing and keep that in mind. It's hard I know, for the past few days, I've let go and gained almost 3 pounds back. The advice the others gave is sound and good. Work out too.
  • pftjill
    pftjill Posts: 488
    Options
    Oh my that is a hard one. I buy all the food for my house so as long as I don't bring it in. I just gave the advice of before putting food in your mouth ask yourself-why am I going to eat this and will it help me with my goal. As you keep yourself on track and start losing the weight maybe it will encourage your mother to do the same. Be strong and be an example for her!!
  • Kminor67
    Kminor67 Posts: 900 Member
    Options
    You cannot make decisions for your mother. Think about it. It frustrates you that she brings the fast food into your home. How do you think she feels when you tell her she cannot have it? I'm not saying that she's in the right, but when you decided to lose weight, you made that decision for yourself. She has the right to make her own decisions. Maybe she doesn't love herself enough. Maybe she thinks that she cannot do it.

    You should use your mom and her health as inspiration on why to stick to your diet plan. Maybe once you start losing really noticeable amounts of weight, your mom will think that if you can do it she can too. You never know... you might inspire her.

    So don't worry about what others around you are doing. You worry about you. The rest will either leave you alone or join you. It's their choices, not yours. Good luck!
  • SamMommy
    SamMommy Posts: 29
    Options
    A suggestion is to start making healhty foods, and make enough for two. She will start to see that you are healthy, have more energy and hopefully be willing to try what you are eating. And if not, you'll have healthy seconds when she is eating fast food! Good luck, and remember what she eats isn't about you. It's her choice and about her.
  • HollyTsiaussis
    HollyTsiaussis Posts: 415 Member
    Options
    Oh my that is a hard one. I buy all the food for my house so as long as I don't bring it in. I just gave the advice of before putting food in your mouth ask yourself-why am I going to eat this and will it help me with my goal. As you keep yourself on track and start losing the weight maybe it will encourage your mother to do the same. Be strong and be an example for her!!

    I'm going to start doing that from now on! Thanks for that advice.
  • myrbg
    myrbg Posts: 93
    Options
    i'm sorry to hear about the struggles you're having at home and on your journey. it must be really hard to do this when those around you don't want to help or be helped. having said this, you've done all that you could do (in regards to your mom). you've told her how you feel and she has chosen to respond in a negative way. so, my suggestion: is it possible for you to buy your own groceries? if so, i would suggeset buying some healthy snacks that you can have when you're having a craving or if fast food is really the only way to go, try to find the healthiest option on the menu. it might not be the best, but it will atleast be be the better option. lastly, don't forget the progress you've had so far!! you're taking great strides and initiative to achieve your goal!! you have to be really proud of yourself. keep doing what you're doing, chin up, and carry on! :)
  • LisaK26
    LisaK26 Posts: 3 Member
    Options
    It's always difficult to stay on a diet when you're the only one in the house watching what you eat. But that's life, if you're mom's not on a diet and doesn't want to lose weight, that's her choice. I spent a year thinking it would be a nightmare to try to diet whilst living with my boyfriend (who eats what he likes), but that excuse meant I spent a year thinking instead of doing. It's hard to see him stuffing his face with desserts...when I'm already "over my limit" for the day, but like I say, that's life! We have to get on with it, no one else will do it for us. Just think how jealous your mom will be when you reach your goal weight, then she might change her tune. ;) Good luck. x
  • clarech
    clarech Posts: 157 Member
    Options
    1) You can't make your mom be healthy. She's right, she CAN eat whatever she wants and it's no one's place to judge her happiness except herself.

    2) It's not sabotage for her to buy food for herself that you just happen to crave. It's an unfortunate situation for you because it makes your journey a bit more difficult but she's not sneaking sugar into your water, or putting a stick of butter on your vegetables. YOU can choose what you eat and if you don't like what she buys or cooks then go get yourself something else.

    I agree my fiance is about the same as your mum I worry about him but he doesn't want to. I can't make him eat healthy as much as he cant make me eat junk. Yes I am tempted to eat the junk he has sometimes and i do give in but he doesn't make me do that. It's your body at the end of the day and you choose what you put in it.
  • DanaKinzer
    DanaKinzer Posts: 72
    Options
    After more than twenty years of smoking, I finally quit nearly two weeks ago. My husband however, will sit next to me chain smoking without a single thought to me. Yes, I want one. Yes, it makes quitting more difficult. However, it's still ALL on me. He's not doing it to intentionally sabotage my efforts. In fact, he is very supportive of my efforts. He just doesn't understand how what he does makes it more difficult for me, even after I tell him. It's probably the same thing with your mom. In the end, it is ALL on YOU, not mama.
  • mamato4kids
    mamato4kids Posts: 217 Member
    Options
    I have tried for 11 years to "make" my husband eat healthy. In the end, it is their choice. The best you can do is set a positive example, and maybe she will follow.
    Do what is best for YOU. You are the only person you have control over.
    Good luck. You CAN do this!!
  • jwerman
    jwerman Posts: 176
    Options
    Surround yourself with people/ friends who will be supportive and realize your mom is her own person...maybe seeing you happy will inspire her,but don't let your success hinge on pleasing her. Also something that has helped me especially when around certain foods is remembering that nothing tastes as good as being healthy feels! You can do it! Stick with MFP too, I've found nothing but support here! :)
  • Shanzstar
    Shanzstar Posts: 197
    Options
    my husband eats all that too. I hate it because it smells good. He bakes frozen pizza at nite when i'm in bed and the smell wakes me up. However, I buy the food so I can control what i'm around most of the time. If he wants a pizza or fast food he has to go get himself. I hear ya on the temptation. I worry about his weight too. He is prolly only 20lbs overweight but I fear for him turning into his father who is obese. I just have to take care of myself right now. I need myself to get healthy then I can work on him. I cant change him but i'mma try! Good luck and take care of yourself right now. Remember You will only be wearing that food if you eat it. :)
  • HollyTsiaussis
    HollyTsiaussis Posts: 415 Member
    Options
    Thanks so much! You guys are all so helpful. :) I will definitely take all of this advice into consideration.

Categories