LGBTQIA friends
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DakotaKeogh
Posts: 693 Member
in Chit-Chat
Hi. Trying to rebuild the friends list.
Today was day 2027 or just over 5 1/2 years of logging every day.
At first I logged in as a fat dude. I lost a bunch of weight - over 70 pounds - and then finally got myself into a gym for the first time. I stayed there for years until a serious injury I did to myself trying to hard against my age and all the damage I'd already done to myself.
Since then, I've still maintained weight having ultimately lost 127 pounds and weighing what I did in High School.
My kids finished growing up with me praising them here. Friends and I revealed new discoveries here. We swapped movie recommendations.
Last fall I finally opened up here and came out as a non-binary trans-woman. I started transition in the winter. I was open about it here and I watched as my friends list dwindled and hemorrhaged until it was down to the few who actually show up here and accept whatever I am. They are the ones who said, "Just be happy" "Be yourself". The rest threw bible verses at me and then finally disappeared.
So, I want to invite anyone in the LGBTQ+ community to join me as a friend. Not suggesting at all that we form a group swapping political, LGBT advice. Rather, trying to gather a group that can feel safe together in this fitness thing, in life, about family and friends.
We face challenges our straight sisters and brothers can never understand, though we love them anyway. But, we can
understand each other, support each other, and find new and wonderful friendships.
Today was day 2027 or just over 5 1/2 years of logging every day.
At first I logged in as a fat dude. I lost a bunch of weight - over 70 pounds - and then finally got myself into a gym for the first time. I stayed there for years until a serious injury I did to myself trying to hard against my age and all the damage I'd already done to myself.
Since then, I've still maintained weight having ultimately lost 127 pounds and weighing what I did in High School.
My kids finished growing up with me praising them here. Friends and I revealed new discoveries here. We swapped movie recommendations.
Last fall I finally opened up here and came out as a non-binary trans-woman. I started transition in the winter. I was open about it here and I watched as my friends list dwindled and hemorrhaged until it was down to the few who actually show up here and accept whatever I am. They are the ones who said, "Just be happy" "Be yourself". The rest threw bible verses at me and then finally disappeared.
So, I want to invite anyone in the LGBTQ+ community to join me as a friend. Not suggesting at all that we form a group swapping political, LGBT advice. Rather, trying to gather a group that can feel safe together in this fitness thing, in life, about family and friends.
We face challenges our straight sisters and brothers can never understand, though we love them anyway. But, we can
understand each other, support each other, and find new and wonderful friendships.
9
Replies
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I'm sorry you went through that on a site that's supposed to encourage you to be your best. People can be ridiculously cruel. I'm glad that didn't stop you from being true to yourself though.
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Not a member of the community and there is no way I could understand fully what you are experiencing, but I would never drop someone for being true to themselves. {{{Hugs}}}4
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Hi all. I am not in LGBT community. However this caught my eye. I just wanted to say that no matter what anyone says, we just have to be happy with our own lives. I am glad that you spoke out and I hope you find people who accept you just as you are. People judge. It is a fact of life. However, we don't have to let their issues impact our happiness. Be happy. 5
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Many thanks to the three of you wonderful people.
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I'm not part of the Lgbt community but a lot of my real friends are. People can be downright horrible! 1
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Sending love your weigh ...1
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It's amazing that some people can be such a good friend to you then pull away when you announce that you have decided to pursue your happiness!
I'm so sorry that happened to you. I hope that you have a strong web of support during your progress in the real world! There are still good people out there, who do not shy away from mainstream ideals.
Wishing you nothing but love and happiness!3 -
Devil's Advocate for a minute: How much did you talk about it openly on your wall? I only ask because I regularly delete people who constantly talk about themselves and never return support whilst receiving it. It's frustrating to constantly read posts about friends' personal problems/successes and offer support or advice only to never see it returned. I know the decision you have made comes with a lot of unknowns and a need for support, but be sure you're returning the same.
Best wishes to you.3 -
_incogNEATo_ wrote: »Devil's Advocate for a minute: How much did you talk about it openly on your wall? I only ask because I regularly delete people who constantly talk about themselves and never return support whilst receiving it. It's frustrating to constantly read posts about friends' personal problems/successes and offer support or advice only to never see it returned. I know the decision you have made comes with a lot of unknowns and a need for support, but be sure you're returning the same.
Best wishes to you.
I do support my friends and don't use this feed as a place to vent, post on news, social issues or whatever. I also find that annoying. But, transitioning and starting hormone therapy meant major changes in diet intake and I also wanted the pronouns used when I publish my diary to change from "his" to "hers". I didn't feel that should go unexplained.1 -
DakotaKeogh wrote: »_incogNEATo_ wrote: »Devil's Advocate for a minute: How much did you talk about it openly on your wall? I only ask because I regularly delete people who constantly talk about themselves and never return support whilst receiving it. It's frustrating to constantly read posts about friends' personal problems/successes and offer support or advice only to never see it returned. I know the decision you have made comes with a lot of unknowns and a need for support, but be sure you're returning the same.
Best wishes to you.
I do support my friends and don't use this feed as a place to vent, post on news, social issues or whatever. I also find that annoying. But, transitioning and starting hormone therapy meant major changes in diet intake and I also wanted the pronouns used when I publish my diary to change from "his" to "hers". I didn't feel that should go unexplained.
Fair enough! Again, I was just trying to approach from a different perspective.0 -
If you need positive support. I would be honored to be your friend. Blessing to you Namaste
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Right now you have 72 friends. Are these the ones left over after the other ones left? Seems like a pretty hefty friend list to keep up with as it is, especially considering that you're active and supportive.
I understand your response. Most of those connections aren't around anymore. They just haven't deactivated their accounts.0 -
Rather pathetic if you ask me. Why does it concern them? This world is full of Debby Dogooderes who put there noses where they do not belong0
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Rather pathetic if you ask me. Why does it concern them? This world is full of Debby Dogooderes who put there noses where they do not belong
Except for you're missing the part where OP was open about it by choice? Doesn't that kind of (sort of) make it the business of those she chose to tell?0 -
^^ agreed0
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_incogNEATo_ wrote: »Rather pathetic if you ask me. Why does it concern them? This world is full of Debby Dogooderes who put there noses where they do not belong
Except for you're missing the part where OP was open about it by choice? Doesn't that kind of (sort of) make it the business of those she chose to tell?
I understand where you're coming from. Why open your mouth if your not ready for the consequences. . Okay fine fair. The OP stated that they explained why they were opening up about it. If you were following someone on MFP, Facebook, Instagram or whatever else and they "He" started turning into "She" or vice versa, it's going to come up at some point in time. So what do you propose they do? Keep it in. Not tell anyone? Disappear from Social Media? Create all new accounts? What would you do? The OP was answering questions before they were asked because they knew there were coming.1 -
Here's your question:Rather pathetic if you ask me. Why does it concern them? This world is full of Debby Dogooderes who put there noses where they do not belong
And here's your answer:_incogNEATo_ wrote: »Rather pathetic if you ask me. Why does it concern them? This world is full of Debby Dogooderes who put there noses where they do not belong
Except for you're missing the part where OP was open about it by choice? Doesn't that kind of (sort of) make it the business of those she chose to tell?
I understand where you're coming from. Why open your mouth if your not ready for the consequences. . Okay fine fair. The OP stated that they explained why they were opening up about it. If you were following someone on MFP, Facebook, Instagram or whatever else and they "He" started turning into "She" or vice versa, it's going to come up at some point in time. So what do you propose they do? Keep it in. Not tell anyone? Disappear from Social Media? Create all new accounts? What would you do? The OP was answering questions before they were asked because they knew there were coming.
You literally just answered your own question.0 -
_incogNEATo_ wrote: »Here's your question:Rather pathetic if you ask me. Why does it concern them? This world is full of Debby Dogooderes who put there noses where they do not belong
And here's your answer:_incogNEATo_ wrote: »Rather pathetic if you ask me. Why does it concern them? This world is full of Debby Dogooderes who put there noses where they do not belong
Except for you're missing the part where OP was open about it by choice? Doesn't that kind of (sort of) make it the business of those she chose to tell?
I understand where you're coming from. Why open your mouth if your not ready for the consequences. . Okay fine fair. The OP stated that they explained why they were opening up about it. If you were following someone on MFP, Facebook, Instagram or whatever else and they "He" started turning into "She" or vice versa, it's going to come up at some point in time. So what do you propose they do? Keep it in. Not tell anyone? Disappear from Social Media? Create all new accounts? What would you do? The OP was answering questions before they were asked because they knew there were coming.
You literally just answered your own question.
Correct. So why did they need to respond with Bible verses? Or tell them they deem it necessary to add their 2 cents. The choice was already made. It didn't matter at that point.0
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