How not to feel bad when declining food from others

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blopmiyers
blopmiyers Posts: 195 Member
in Food and Nutrition
I eat very healthy and usually only eat fast food once every 2 months if I had to take a guess. I always end up eating before going to family's. I'm 19 and I eat about 2500 cals a day (bulking) I would eat the fast food given to me by family but it has no nutrients in it and I'm just disgusted by fast food at most times. I always feel really bad when declining food ;/ Should I just say whatever and eat it? I don't like seeming rude.
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  • CattOfTheGarage
    CattOfTheGarage Posts: 2,750 Member
    edited July 2016
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    Funnily enough I don't have trouble saying no to food in this particular way, if I don't want it I just say no thanks and don't feel bad.

    However, that's an exception, as I feel irrationally guilty/rude for doing all sorts of other things (including leaving food on my plate at restaurants) so I do know what it's like and I wish I could tell you some way to stop feeling like that! But I can't.

    All I can do is reinforce that there's no NEED to feel rude for turning down food you don't want. Just as long as you're just saying "no thank you" with a smile, not being superior or insulting, there's nothing rude about it. If anyone asks you why, "I don't feel like it" is enough reason. It's enough reason to say no to anything (I'm talking to myself as much as you here!).

    I also agree with @malibu927 that fast food is not a nutritional dead loss and there's nothing wrong with having it as a treat. But if you don't want it, you don't want it. That's OK.
  • fishshark
    fishshark Posts: 1,886 Member
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    its not a big deal. you say no thank you and move on with your life. We have a couple house guests right now.. one is a raw vegan and one eats like a typical 18 year old American. We all make it work and find our own things. The raw vegan is 17... if he can manage to say no thank you to food he doesn't want to eat then an adult can.
  • fitgirldc
    fitgirldc Posts: 55 Member
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    Don't feel bad, just say no thanks! I've gone to a few functions with my husband lately and that's what I do. Don't know if they question your answer as well, but you may feel bad giving in to appease others. "No thanks, I'm good."
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    Visit when it is not a meal time.
    Say thank you but you don't want anything right now.
    Bring food you like- enough to share with everyone.
    Speak up politely about the food you want to eat. If it is family and you hate fast food just say that you don't really like the way it tastes now and would prefer other food. If there is a restaurant you do like or an alternative then suggest that.
    Eat the food sometimes. It does have nutrients. You don't have to eat a ton of it. Even if people make food at home you will not always love it. Sometimes you suck it up and eat some anyway to be polite.
  • minniestar55
    minniestar55 Posts: 346 Member
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    Why feel bad?? Just say "no thanks", smile, & go on with life.
  • WinoGelato
    WinoGelato Posts: 13,454 Member
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    Your family serves fast food when you come over for a visit? Like hey, we stopped to get a bunch of Big Macs, have one?

    For many families, gatherings and traditions revolve around food. You are young and there are going to be many such situations to navigate - birthday parties, weddings, work pot lucks, etc. I suggest learning now how to either politely decline things without feeling guilty, or, realizing that you can eat a variety of foods including fast food and still reach your goals.
  • jbee27
    jbee27 Posts: 356 Member
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    Your family is offering you fast food when you visit? I wouldn't feel badly about turning it down. If it was something they had spent hours making, I would feel a little more guilt in turning it down. In those situations, I try to either just eat it (it's one meal), or just eat a tiny bit of whatever it is.

    You can be honest without being mean, or judgmental. If you've eaten already, just say that "No thank you, I ate earlier, and I'm still full". You don't need to say "I'm disgusted by your food."
  • PaulaWallaDingDong
    PaulaWallaDingDong Posts: 4,641 Member
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    WinoGelato wrote: »
    Your family serves fast food when you come over for a visit? Like hey, we stopped to get a bunch of Big Macs, have one?

    I'm equal parts glad and disappointed that my family doesn't do this.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    malibu927 wrote: »
    Fast food does have nutrients. If you don't want it, though, say no thanks.

    This
  • blopmiyers
    blopmiyers Posts: 195 Member
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    PaulaWallaDingDong wrote: »
    WinoGelato wrote: »
    Your family serves fast food when you come over for a visit? Like hey, we stopped to get a bunch of Big Macs, have one?

    I'm equal parts glad and disappointed that my family doesn't do this.

    My bad I should've specified. We eat fast food with them on occasion. Typically for birthdays on my dads side of the family (Going out to restaurants, grandfather likes to get KFC etc)
  • WinoGelato
    WinoGelato Posts: 13,454 Member
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    blopmiyers wrote: »
    PaulaWallaDingDong wrote: »
    WinoGelato wrote: »
    Your family serves fast food when you come over for a visit? Like hey, we stopped to get a bunch of Big Macs, have one?

    I'm equal parts glad and disappointed that my family doesn't do this.

    My bad I should've specified. We eat fast food with them on occasion. Typically for birthdays on my dads side of the family (Going out to restaurants, grandfather likes to get KFC etc)

    Still not sure why you think that there are no nutrients in the fast food though. KFC has grilled chicken in addition to fried chicken, don't they? Even if you stick with the fried stuff, on a 2500 cal plan you should easily be able to fit that in. Mashed potatoes? Green beans?
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    edited July 2016
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    Food is food. And fast food does have plenty of nutrients in it. But if you simply cannot stand the taste of fast food whether it because it really does tastes bad to you or you have turned your nose up at it because it is labeled "fast food", and you deem this taboo, you do not have to eat it..

    You are 19, an adult and free to make all the choices you want regarding food and many other things in life all on your own now! Take a walk into your adult freedom and say no.. It might be liberating to actually be able to make your own choices..

    Saying no to something, is never being rude. this really is all in your own mind.. but if you can't stand the guilt you put upon yourself, you have no choice but to 'people please' and take the food.
  • viren19890
    viren19890 Posts: 778 Member
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    How DARE you say no to food!

    Say YES and on your way home donate to homeless. :)

    Everyone is happy.
  • johnnylakis
    johnnylakis Posts: 812 Member
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    Only you control what goes into your mouth. No apologies necessary
  • niblue
    niblue Posts: 339 Member
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    I just tell people I'm on a fitness kick and eat/drink what I want. Not sure why there would be a problem with that - I've never encountered one.
  • AliceDark
    AliceDark Posts: 3,886 Member
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    1. You're a 19-year-old man who is bulking on 2500 (that's really low for your age and gender); are you starting at a very low body weight?
    2. You're "disgusted" by fast food and think things like chicken have no nutrients just because they come from places like KFC.
    3. This is a big enough deal to you that you're willing to, at least partially, disrupt family events like your grandfather's birthday.

    These all point to an unhealthy relationship to food. There is no reason you shouldn't be able to find something at a KFC that fits into your meal plan, or burn some extra calories in order to make room for it.

    And not for nothing, especially given that I don't know anything about your family dynamic, but I would eat a bucket of lard if it meant I got to have one more dinner with my grandfather. Depending on your relationship, you may realize one day that time together matters and that you shouldn't have wasted time worrying about one meal.
  • blopmiyers
    blopmiyers Posts: 195 Member
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    AliceDark wrote: »
    1. You're a 19-year-old man who is bulking on 2500 (that's really low for your age and gender); are you starting at a very low body weight?
    2. You're "disgusted" by fast food and think things like chicken have no nutrients just because they come from places like KFC.
    3. This is a big enough deal to you that you're willing to, at least partially, disrupt family events like your grandfather's birthday.

    These all point to an unhealthy relationship to food. There is no reason you shouldn't be able to find something at a KFC that fits into your meal plan, or burn some extra calories in order to make room for it.

    And not for nothing, especially given that I don't know anything about your family dynamic, but I would eat a bucket of lard if it meant I got to have one more dinner with my grandfather. Depending on your relationship, you may realize one day that time together matters and that you shouldn't have wasted time worrying about one meal.

    I weight 140 lbs. I was obese before, (220lbs) at 5'8" Fast food is what made me into that. Ate that stuff daily. So you can see why I hate approaching it and think of it as disgusting. By no nutrients I mean its not the "best" there's little to no fiber, loaded with fat (I keep my fat at 25% daily), no vitamins. I could be better off eating other things. I still go to these family gatherings, i just decline what's offered I still very much spend a lot of time with my grandparents.
  • Hope228
    Hope228 Posts: 340 Member
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    This is me at work. They constantly have all kinds of food I am trying to avoid. I just politely say No thanks.

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