I am so scared of failing
sej1990
Posts: 96 Member
I have tried many times with dieting and exercise yet I always failed. I am not afraid to say that I have a very bad food addiction. I am 25 years old with high glucose, triglycerides, cholesterol, and liver enzymes. I am in pain everyday with my hips and my knees. It is so hard to cut out the things I love. I wish foods never made someone fat! Whoever started making fattening foods I hate you!!!
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Replies
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Then don't cut out the things you love...I didn't this time...I just eat them in reasonable portions or do exercise to earn more calories.
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Just stay with small changes and continue them until they become a habit. For example, if you drink a lot of soda, start cutting back and drink water instead. It doesn't even need to be completely, just cut back to only drinking it during dinner or something. Once you're comfortable with that, make another change- commit to doing some kind of movement, walk twice a week. Then, start filling up on more veggies so you have less room for more calorie dense foods. Eventually these small changes will add up to bigger results than trying to change everything simultaneously, making you overwhelmed and liable to give in.
You don't need to change everything, and you certainly don't need to do it all at once. Don't be afraid to fail... Take your time, and make it work for you.9 -
It is so hard to cut out the things I love. I wish foods never made someone fat! Whoever started making fattening foods I hate you!!!
I want to jump in on this part: Foods don't make you fat, unless you eat too much of them. All foods can be fattening if eaten in excess, though granted some make you fatter easier than others.
Case in point: I had a Chick-Fil-A sandwich and waffle fries for lunch. It's fast food, something people usually term as being "fattening" or "unhealthy". It's well within my calorie goal for the day, and I've walked almost 4 miles already today and will walk more this evening to help pad out my deficit even more.
Unless you have a medical reason to cut out certain foods, don't. Your weight loss journey will be much easier in the long run if you can eat the things you like in moderation.14 -
You cant change the food - you can only change your behaviour toward it. Honestly, decide what you love, and keep it in your life, and build a plan that you can live with around that. It may mean less of other things, but if thats how you want to priorize things, its up to you.
Dont give up on yourself. You will hopefully live a long time, and you dont want to be miserable all those years. Get yourself a scale, and read the stickies at the top of the discussions, and make a commitment to try it out for 6-8 weeks. If you are honest with yourself (sometimes your toughest audience), and really want to make changes, you will see a difference.
There is lots of support here, dont be afraid to reach for it and ask questions - someone is bound to answer!!
Good luck!!1 -
You are the creator of your own reality.
If you are afraid you will fail then you will. If you know you will succeed then you will! The only person keeping you from succeeding is yourself.. you can do this! If you believe and if you know then you will.6 -
It is so hard to cut out the things I love. I wish foods never made someone fat! Whoever started making fattening foods I hate you!!!
I want to jump in on this part: Foods don't make you fat, unless you eat too much of them. All foods can be fattening if eaten in excess, though granted some make you fatter easier than others.
Case in point: I had a Chick-Fil-A sandwich and waffle fries for lunch. It's fast food, something people usually term as being "fattening" or "unhealthy". It's well within my calorie goal for the day, and I've walked almost 4 miles already today and will walk more this evening to help pad out my deficit even more.
Unless you have a medical reason to cut out certain foods, don't. Your weight loss journey will be much easier in the long run if you can eat the things you like in moderation.
The only foods i gotta be careful on is red meat cause of high liver enzymes, cholesterol, and sugar for my glucose. It sucks.0 -
Thanks everyone!0
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All foods are fattening if you eat too much of them. The only failure is quitting. If you have a bad day, a day where you go off plan, just shake it off and get back on plan. It happens to most everyone. That's a setback not a failure.
It is going to be hard if you start off with such a negative attitude. Losing weight doesn't have to be miserable. Eat foods you enjoy. Just don't overeat. Find other ways to occupy your time and manage your stress besides eating.2 -
I know your in pain honey, people say excersise more but I bet that's difficult, don't over do it at the gym, you'll get warn out fast and want to come home and eat...what works for me is 1. Get a cute workout outfit, something that makes YOU feel good it's not for other ppl, next put it on!!!it will automatically give you the motivation to move, next grab your ipod, phone whatever and make a play list that you will like walking to, I personally choose more alternative chill stuff when ready to go for a walk, put your earbuds in, walk out the door in your outfit and go on a long walk 5 times a week...that's a start!!!best of luck to you girl4
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You're lucky enough to realize you have a problem and want to fix it...That's the first step. Like others, I agree you don't have to completely get rid of everything you love but setting small daily or weekly goals to limit your intake of those items and add other healthy habits might be helpful.
Patience is really important! Also, if you feel like you've fallen off your bandwagon...Get back on. I've lost 40lbs (so far) but you bet there has been plenty of times I have binged on alcohol and recovered the next day with ALL of the carbs! Or nights that I am craving sweets and give it. The best feeling is not letting those times take over the progress you have made.
Also - I don't struggle with the same health problems as you.. But I imagine that being dedicated to your diet will make you feel better after a while.1 -
Take it slow, make small changes, be patient. If you immediately cut out everything you love and start working out 5 days a week there is a very high chance that you will give up within a couple of months and go back to exactly what you were doing before - or worse.
Weight loss is a marathon, not a sprint. The slower you run, the farther you will go, all you have to do is start
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I lost from 340 to 179, now back up to 227. Am I going to give up? Heck no. A goal weight is not a finish line, it's just the first part of the race. The goal is to keep your weight stable. Don't worry if you gain a little, or a lot, you've done it before and you can do it again. The race is never ending, you don't have to run anymore, but keep walking slowly.3
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There are no fattening foods, only fattening amounts (enough people have said that now ). If you love something, find a way to make it fit in your menu, if you feel you are addicted, find a way to overcome the addiction. It could be an addiction to overeating, (which may be described as an obsessive/compulsive behavior), and not to the food itself, but you have to investigate what is going on and find the strategies that are best for you - with the help of professionals, if necessary. 0
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I failed many, many times before everything finally fell into place for me. I think it is normal to take a few tries for most people.
Don't see it as this huge thing that you have to do completely or not at all, any tiny step in the right direction will be a victory for you and over time they will add up.5 -
kirstenb13 wrote: »I failed many, many times before everything finally fell into place for me. I think it is normal to take a few tries for most people.
Don't see it as this huge thing that you have to do completely or not at all, any tiny step in the right direction will be a victory for you and over time they will add up.
This exactly. You can't approach it as something you do until you don't have to anymore. It's a lifestyle you have to adopt. Just getting up and going for a walk is a step (or 10,000) in the right direction. Just logging your food for a day is one step closer. Even if you blow your calorie goal, at least you know you did and why.
Due to your medical conditions I would suggest consulting with a Registered Dietician. They should be able to help you with what foods you may have to restrict to address those issues. The good thing is as you get those conditions under control you can probably add them back in proper portion sizes and keeping overall caloric intake in mind.1 -
1. If you fail, you can try, try again.
2. Eating healthier foods gets easier the more you do it.
3. You have to choose: Your health and happiness or your junk food. Pick and quit fretting.7 -
The only way you can fail is to give up and not try again.
However, I wasn't able to lose weight until I addressed the issues that were causing me to fail in past attempts every single time. In the past, I would go on highly restrictive low calorie diet with lots of silly rules. All that did was increase my craving and obsession of foods to the point that I got myself into binge-purge/restrict cycle and just kept losing the same 10 or so pounds over and over again. I then decided to research and found this out:- Food is food is food. A calorie is a calorie. I stopped restricting the foods that I like. However, I fond that I am more satisfied if I concentrate on my protein, fat and fiber goal. I like desserts and chocolate and I am happier including those in my 'diet' and still losing weight.
- Calories are king for weight loss. No matter how I chose to lose weight (low carb, high carb, high protein), just as long as I stick to my calories that MFP gave me, I would lose weight. This was rather difficult for me to accept at first since I was so used to reading/hearing a lot of diet woo BS. Once I accepted this, I felt much more relaxed to my approach of weight loss.
- A too-large deficit (calorie intake too low) will lead to me burning out and binging, then continuing the cycle. There is no reason to starve to lose weight (another thing that took time getting used to due to past 'information'.
- Weight loss isn't a race, it is a marathon. It didn't take me a couple of months to gain the weight, so it won't take me that long to lose. It can be tempting to lose weight fast, but as I mentioned before, I large calorie deficit can lead to binges.
- Weighing all the solid and semi solid foods on a food scale and logging accurately, even on binge days helps to keep me accountable. By being honest in every aspect of weight loss, I am able to work on/correct my mistakes. We are human and we screw up...big deal...which leads me to:
- Don't be disappointed when you see no loss or even a gain. Get back up there and keep going. It's okay to eat at your maintenance calories or even have a break sometimes. Also, weight loss isn't linear. There are many factors which can mask weight loss such as fluid retention (starting or increasing exercise, dehydration, TOM, too much sodium) Relax... as I mentioned before, weight loss isn't a race. Sometimes you'll lose, sometimes you'll gain and sometimes you'll maintain. No biggie.
- I had to change my expectations. In the past I would do fad diets and follow unsafe information which lead me to believe that fast weight loss was the only good weight loss. This is quite unsustainable. Now, I expect to lose no more than 1-2lbs a week and that is okay and healthy. Eating too little calories made me feel lethargic and ill.
- Never, ever give up. If you fail, get back into it. Remember, it takes 500 calories over your maintenance (not your MFP calories) every single day to gain a pound in a week. You can eat up to maintenance every day in a week and not gain. If you eat maintenance a couple times a week, you'll still lose weight, just not as much as your projected/expected weekly loss.
- Relax. Enjoy the journey.
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Fear of failure paralyzes many people to not attempting anything. Get right with you first and work on changing your eating behaviors and success will happen.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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I have tried many times with dieting and exercise yet I always failed. I am not afraid to say that I have a very bad food addiction. I am 25 years old with high glucose, triglycerides, cholesterol, and liver enzymes. I am in pain everyday with my hips and my knees. It is so hard to cut out the things I love. I wish foods never made someone fat! Whoever started making fattening foods I hate you!!!
Weight loss comes down to calories- not fat, not carbs, not sugar, not white foods or food in a package.
If you have a calorie deficit through eating less or burning more calories with increased activity you lose weight. Find the right amount of calories for you. MFP is a great tool to help you figure this out.1 -
Hi, My Names is Re, and I am a Carboholic.
I feel your pain... but, I want to point out that at 25, you still have a chance to correct or reverse a lot of your health issues - and believe me, you WANT to do that. Your knees and ankles will only hurt more as you get older. And if you don't change your habits - and I don't mean go on a diet - CHANGE the way you eat forever - then you will end up as I did... 40 years old, 367 lbs, in pain every day.
Take it slow - don't try and change your whole life in one day. Baby steps - remember - everybody has to learn to crawl, then walk, then run.
Same goes for exercise - and that is what is going to save you. Start slow. Work up to it. If you injure yourself, you will not be able to continue. And sucky though it may be, you cannot lose weight without embracing exercise.
Find something that you can tolerate. Swimming is fantastic. Walking is excellent - you can start by just walking around the block where you live... or if you have gym access, you can do what I did.
I started on the elliptical machine. The first day - after about 3 minutes, my heart rate got high and I had to stop. Then I moved to the stationary bike and did another few minutes. Then the treadmill.
I went back. The next time, I could do five minutes on the elliptical, a few minutes more on the bike and longer on the treadmill. It was a banner day when I could do 15 minutes on the elliptical without an excessively high heart rate.
Do not worry about whether anyone is watching you, or what they will think. Forget about them... This is for you.
Two secrets to exercise.
1) The first few times I got into the whole exercise thing, I had to stop because my back was KILLING me. You have to do some abdominal work. Even if you are just walking, you will be sorry if you don't balance your cardio with some abdominal crunches. I used a machine at the gym - but you can do them on the floor or on your bed, too. 15 or 20 of them every day will stave of any back pain.
2) Cardio can be BORING. If you are walking - take your iPod with your very favorite songs on it - the ones that make you want to get up and dance. If you are concentrating on the music - you won't be thinking about how much your body is complaining. I use a tablet loaded with books. I read trashy romances while I chug along on the elliptical - now for 30-45 minutes a workout. Heck, I look forward to exercise - it's the only time I have left to read.
I credit exercise with any success I have had in losing weight. You can do any kind of eating plan that you can sustain for the rest of your life - and you can eat a pretty decent amount if you are only aiming for 1 lb a week - and I recommend that for a start. I have MFP set for 1 lb a week and three workouts. IF I lose more weight, it's because I try to go to the gym every day. After a while, you will want to.
After about 20 pounds, you will feel significantly less pain in your joints. At 50 lbs you will start to have a lot more energy. You will have days when you don't eat properly. So long as they are not frequent, you will still succeed. Forgive yourself. Start small. Work your way up. Do it for you. Maybe by the time you turn 30 you can be in the best shape of your life.
Good Luck3 -
Oh - side note - you do not, not, not have to give up the foods that you love - you just have to reduce the amount and frequency that you eat them.
My food diary for today is pre-logged for a snack of Peanut M& M's.
**Not the whole back - but a 1.5 oz serving. When I bought the bag, the first thing I did was take some of those little zip lock backs and my postal scale, and broke the bag down into servings to be sure I was never tempted to eat "just one more." 1.5 oz. of M&M's isn't very much - but, it's enough to keep me from feeling like I never get to eat anything good, again.2 -
Thank you Re, Great post. I feel your pain to. I never stop working on it . Always there.0
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This is my personal opinion but I think the whole "eat everything in moderation" philosophy is not appropriate or helpful for a food addict. At some point you have to limit your intake of trigger foods or cravings will drive you crazy and you'll never feel in control. I think starting on a stricter diet at first will at least give you a break from cravings. You have to break whatever cycle you are in before moving foreword.2
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You can't go "Cold Turkey" on food. That's a fact.
My Opinion: At some point, you do have to learn a little control - however, not allowing yourself any of the pleasures of life leads to feelings of deprivation, and the inability to deal with that causes many, many people to fail. I know it did me, for something like 30 years. I find it best to eat MOSTLY low carb - carbs are my downfall - but, I do eat candy - in limited doses, and not every day. Is my weight loss slower because of this? Certainly. Do I really care how long it takes, as long as I can happily maintain my new habits for a lifetime? Nope.1 -
Oh, I know what you mean! I am trying to regain a healthy relationship with food too. I also wanted to say that rolling your quads and IT band, stretching them every day, and doing strengthening exercises can go a long way to helping with the pain. I had to go to physical therapy to repair the damage that being overweight and sedentary caused.1
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This is my personal opinion but I think the whole "eat everything in moderation" philosophy is not appropriate or helpful for a food addict. At some point you have to limit your intake of trigger foods or cravings will drive you crazy and you'll never feel in control. I think starting on a stricter diet at first will at least give you a break from cravings. You have to break whatever cycle you are in before moving foreword.
I consider myself a food addict. Restricting foods (when I did keto for 6 months) made it so much worse. When I finally had a non-keto day of eating after 6 months, I was never able to get back to that way of eating. I kept telling myself "just one more day of eating normally and then I'll start keto again", which led to months of starting keto and then binging on all of the restricted foods I wanted.
Three months ago I started back calorie counting without worrying about keto. It's been three months of bliss, eating absolutely everything I want as long as it fits in my calorie goals. I haven't binged a single time, I've never felt out of control with my eating. If I crave something but don't have the calories, I work it in the next day. Your mileage may vary, but that's just my experience.1 -
I have tried many times with dieting and exercise yet I always failed. I am not afraid to say that I have a very bad food addiction. I am 25 years old with high glucose, triglycerides, cholesterol, and liver enzymes. I am in pain everyday with my hips and my knees. It is so hard to cut out the things I love. I wish foods never made someone fat! Whoever started making fattening foods I hate you!!!
Don't diet. Adjust your current eating habits. Your attitude towards food and eating needs a larger overhaul. Addiction is not the same as love. Either find a way to eat everything in moderation, or cut out the foods you don't need to eat, for your physical and emotional health. Find other things you like, that don't harm you.1 -
This is my personal opinion but I think the whole "eat everything in moderation" philosophy is not appropriate or helpful for a food addict. At some point you have to limit your intake of trigger foods or cravings will drive you crazy and you'll never feel in control. I think starting on a stricter diet at first will at least give you a break from cravings. You have to break whatever cycle you are in before moving foreword.
Funny. I was diagnosed with an ED and was told the exact opposite to the bolded. The whole idea is to have a healthy relationship to food. If OP is having a hard time with restricting which can lead to binges, the restricting is not a good idea.
"Eating everything in moderation isn't appropriate"or 'limit your intake'....which one? Restriction can be much worse..
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I lost from 340 to 179, now back up to 227. Am I going to give up? Heck no. A goal weight is not a finish line, it's just the first part of the race. The goal is to keep your weight stable. Don't worry if you gain a little, or a lot, you've done it before and you can do it again. The race is never ending, you don't have to run anymore, but keep walking slowly.
Thank you for your advice. I have lost and gained several times. In the past I began with a full out sprint and ran out of steam. This time I have slowed it down to a slow trot. I am more prepared to go the course0 -
Also 25 here and it's definitely possible! I have lost and gained. I lost 40lbs 4 years ago 170 to 130 and felt amazing! Then I let myself go back to old habits and I gained it all back. Lost 35 again, currently 135. Make a small change every day. Even if it's simply not eating the crust of your pizza, or walking to the mailbox or street sign. Motivation is gone if you don't set the tone. Put on pretty comfy exercise clothes and sneakers. Just that step alone will be a push to get you in the mood to work out and move it. Losing is not as hard as maintaining. That's why many of us have lost and gained. So do yourself the biggest favor and celebrate every weight milestone lost and commit to not regaining. Because if you think losing the weight is impossible and hard, think about how crappy it would be to lose it all, hit your goal and feel great only to regain and have to start the process over again like me and many others.
Small changes and your mindset is huge! If you believe in yourself you will be successful.1
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