Single dad... Completely overwhelmed

Hello & Welcome
We all have our own set of "issues" - and we're all on this site with the same goal (healthier weight and improved relationship with food)

Hi Michael, this does sound challenging, but I hear the optimism also, and you obviously have some kind of vision to getting on MFP and putting your story out there. What are your goals? As you seem to indicate, developing a habit (even one) can give you hope and positive momentum, and this will have a positive influence on the kids. What are they interested in, any physical activity, for example? I try to spend time with my kids (we have four, around same age as yours) and their activities, and most of the family does running or soccer at one point or another, though also the stresses of life make it hard to do as much as we would like. As others have mentioned, finding time with your boys may be crucial - eg. to consult about plans and goals. A good thing about MFP is that it is pretty effective at helping you lose weight which gives you a positive focus, and if you just decide to dedicate a few minutes several times daily to keep logging, that increases your awareness and motivation to stick to a plan.

Most experts in habit development (if they are actually experts) suggest focusing on very few habits at a time, and I think that is helpful as it can be overwhelming to try to address everything at once. After making progress in one area, it's easier to start doing something in another. But at the same time I recently read that doing a number of positive changes at once can be effective, and a change in one area (eg. meditation or reflection of some kind) reinforces other areas, so I'm now tending towards finding several mutually-supportive habits to work on at the same time. This might be the kind of thing that some kind of counsellor could help with, but if you aren't into that, it's still something you can work on yourself and perhaps input from your family.

I have found everyone on here to be supportive. We are here for you.....add me if you would like.

Hello and welcome, Michael! I think you'll find some tremendous support here, whether you have questions or just need a laugh after a hard day.

Do you and your boys like Pokemon Go? It can be a fun way to get exercise, walking around together while looking for little digital critters!

Welcome, Michael! You've got a winning attitude: small changes to develop new habits and a positive outlook on life in general.
You're in the right place here. We're all supportive.

Hey, I know I am still very young but I have went through my fair share of hardships and I want to tell you that I am proud of you for taking a stand over your life. I also have struggled with trying to use food as an outlet by starving myself to the point of medical issues in the past. I am here to tell you that it won't necessarily be easy to overcome the urge to use food for emotional support but it CAN be done and I think you are strong enough to overcome it. We both have a great motivation because we have to do it for our kids! I was unwilling to seek any help until I became pregnant with my first son, and while it's not easy, it finally gave me the push to talk to a therapist. I'm happy that you have someone who you can trust that is on your side and will help you get better. Keep up the good work! MFP is glad to have you and glad to help you. I've found that people in the community here are very willing to support you so if you are having a bad day don't be afraid to ask someone on here for help. Good luck.

Hi Michael:
Sounds like you are ready to make a change. I was a single mother and would take my children to the park and we would kick around a ball and have a great time. I bought some tennis rackets at Goodwill and we would go to the local tennis court and chase the ball around the court. We were all tired by the time we got home but it was great exercise for me and my children. We would also go to the park and play basketball. These are just some ideas to get your children involved with your program. It will be great for all of you.

Keep track of your food and remember you don't have to make your meals a big ordeal. Something simple like chicken and vegetables, salads, fruit, eggs, etc. the whole family will eat.

Everyone here is willing to help and very supportive. Also, the success stories and photos are very inspiring and is something I look at everyday.

The best to you and your children. I know you can do it!

You are brave! One day at a time. You have a lot on your plate, but three blessings in your boys! Lots of support here.

Welcome. As a fellow parent, I understand the time constraints.
My mornings and evenings are usually busy with kid activities and errands.
The best time for my workouts are during my lunch period. It gives me a break during my work days and helps me focus. You may want to look at your weekly schedule and see what times you have available for yourself. Even taking a short 15min walk helps.
Remember, its a journey.

Just wanted to chime in and say that there has been a ton of great advice so far. Look at all the people on MFP rooting for you and are here for support!

One quote "Don't beat yourself up if you have the occasional slip-up" really rings true. I just want that to be seen again. You're on a path for a different, exciting future--and there indeed may be slip-ups, but stay true to your vision, and you will see success. You're off to a terrific start!!!

And remember to keep it simple--use MFP for logging food; incorporate fun activities with your kids. As you get settled in a new routine, you can think about other things to add into your daily life; it does NOT have to be complicated by a bunch of diet and exercise parameters (this food, not that! high-intensity, not steady-state!)--just start out by burning more calories than you take in. Calories in, calories out. Add a little movement to increase that deficit; monitor your food to make sure that deficit exists, and most of all, have fun with your kids and have a great life!

Check back in with us to let us know how you're doing!

Your hands are full! Good for you for wanting to make positive changes to your health and well being. I encourage you make small changes step by step, don't do too much at once til you see how you can fit it all together.

The best quote for me the last 2 years during my weight loss and fitness journey has been: "Small daily improvements are the key to staggering long term results." Robin Sharma. It's TRUE!

Hi Micheal! Congratulations on beginning a new healthy lifestyle!
It sounds like you really have your hands full at the moment and I can see how it could get very stressful for you. Im so sorry you and your boys have been through abuse. It sounds like your taking the right steps though( going to therapy)
We're all here for you anytime! It's always okay to vent here! Welcome!

Kids respond well to music, and I find it to be uplifting and energizing. Turn it up and dance around! Also, finding some activities you can all do together: taking walks, hiking, bike riding...Have fun!

I'm so sorry you and your children have to go through this, my father was abusive to myself and my mom so I know that it's rough. I hope you can all get through it.

That being said, I'm glad you're taking a step to do something for yourself. My advice: do small things that will help you in the long run. Add in a walk once every few days or go the long way on a walk that you already take. Skip dessert or a snack once or twice a week. Keep trying to improve your current situation until you feel as though you're ready to make big changes. I would also suggest getting your kids involved in anything you're doing! Have them workout with you or help you find healthy meals they want to eat.

I hope this helps, and I'm going to leave you with a really good quote that sums up what I am basically saying
"Success is the sum of small efforts-repeated day in and day out."

Best of luck!