Joke of the Day

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johnnylakis
johnnylakis Posts: 812 Member
in Fun and Games
We all need a laugh. If you have a good joke. Post it. I will start. Only 2 kinds of people own scales. Fat people and drug dealers.

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  • mikedigesu
    mikedigesu Posts: 34 Member
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    Two cannibals are eating a clown, the first one turns to the second and says, "Does this taste funny to you?"
  • mikedigesu
    mikedigesu Posts: 34 Member
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    Ok, here are some quick "into a bar" jokes...A grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you." The grasshopper says, "You have a drink named Steve?"
  • mikedigesu
    mikedigesu Posts: 34 Member
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    A flat third walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve minors here!"
  • mikedigesu
    mikedigesu Posts: 34 Member
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    A man walks into a bar and hears a voice say, "Hey, you look great!" He asks the bartender who said it and the bartender says, "Oh, that's the peanuts, they're complimentary."
  • mikedigesu
    mikedigesu Posts: 34 Member
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    A priest, a rabbi, a blond and a midget walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Is this some kind of joke?!"
  • mikedigesu
    mikedigesu Posts: 34 Member
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    A piece of string walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve string here!" so the string walks out. He ties himself into a knot and messes up his hair, then walks back into the same bar. The bartender says, "Aren't you that string I just threw outta here?" and the string says, "No, I'm a frayed knot."
  • mikedigesu
    mikedigesu Posts: 34 Member
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    Last one (I have a bunch more but I'll stop with this one). A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve your type here! You're too boring!" The mushroom says, "Hey! I'm a fungi!"
  • mikedigesu
    mikedigesu Posts: 34 Member
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    Ok, Ok...really, this is the last one...and it's not even a "bar" joke. A buzzard is trying to board a plane carrying a dead raccoon. The lady at the gate says, "Do you need to check that?" and the buzzard says, "No thanks, it's carrion."

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