I just got called a whale...what?

MrsFarrow
MrsFarrow Posts: 326 Member
edited September 29 in Chit-Chat
This is so stupid, but it struck a real nerve. My husband was on some page on Facebook arguing with little jerks about something stupid, and one of them made a comment about the whale in his picture. It took me a minute to realize they were talking about me. The thing is, that picture, I was at my thinnest, right when we met. I know, in my head, that I really don't care what some trashy cashier at the local hickmart thinks of me...but it oddly struck a nerve. I've never gotten called names before. And I know I'm lucky for that.

The issue is, I was just to my doctors to work out a plan for my fitness (and fertility) and he said I need to see a therapist be size I'm exhibiting legitimate obsessive compulsive tendencies when it comes to my weight. I know this, but I can't stop. I'm on anti depressants and anti anxieties, and have an appointment set up to see someone. What happens is since I've put on weight, when we go out, I for some reason think everyone is looking at me, talking about me, laughing at me. I feel like I'm being zeroed in on. So this, in a way, reaffirms that.

I know that's wrong. I know it was literally a comment made to Piss off my husband. But because I saw it, this is going to go one of two ways for me; I'm going to stay up all night obsessing over it, working out, drinking water until I can't anymore, or I'm going to forget about it for now...but it will keep coming back and gnaw at me.

I know I need help, but I can't exactly call the therapist I've never seen at midnight to discuss an issue she hasn't dealt with yet. I can't believe I'm even writing about this or acknowledging it. And I know if I say anything to my husband about it he's going to be like "are you kidding me? Really?"

Replies

  • aippolito1
    aippolito1 Posts: 4,894 Member
    I feel you, girl. :sad: I just got back from visiting my grandma and she constantly made comments about my "eating habits" (I was REALLY hungry when I was there so I ate more, portion-wise than I normally do when I'm doing well with my diet) and asked, surprisingly when I said I was losing weight, "LOSING weight?" even though I'm only up about 5 lbs and some water weight since the last time I saw her. It really hurt. Especially because she's always been thin and never has struggled with her weight, even at the ripe old age of 79.
  • Lollyvoddy
    Lollyvoddy Posts: 194 Member
    A whale? I just looked at all your pics and in no way are you a whale. Unless it's some kind of midget whale as yet undiscovered. I'm sorry for mean people, they suck.
  • foodforfuel
    foodforfuel Posts: 569 Member
    Whoever said that is jealous because he has you. You are NOT a whale. You are beautiful.
    Don't obsess. Just doing the best you can every single day is what is going to get you to your goal. Good for you for seeing your Doctor and taking the right steps to get healthy.
    The person who said that is not so much as a pimple on your butt! :) Let them be miserable. You are so much above that! :flowerforyou:
  • LauraMarie37
    LauraMarie37 Posts: 283 Member
    I'm sorry your husband's reaction will be, "Are you kidding me?" =(

    I think sometimes you just have to remember you can only change your body so much in one day. (And you can only change it HEALTHILY even less - remember the healthily-made, smaller changes are the one that stick!) So at a certain point in the day, you just have to say, "That's it. I have done everything I can to become a healthier person today. I did a GREAT job and I cannot do anything else." Then move on to think about something else.

    WAY easier said than done, I know! But you (with your therapist's help) will be able to shift your thinking to a more positive manner. You can do it!

    And of course, ignore the jerks. Not even worth your time. At the end of the day, they are alone with their negativity.
  • jilloliver
    jilloliver Posts: 8 Member
    dang girl! :( that's not cool, but you are probably right--he was just saying it to get at your husband. people like that say stuff like that even about skinny girls in those kinds of situations. it was just a jerky thing to say so that it would get your husband riled up. words do hurt, though, so don't discount your hurt feeling. but use it in a way to build yourself up. life isn't all about weight. i'm sure you are a good person and lots of people love you...think on those things and be thankful for them! don't let this dude affect your love for yourself and your life!! :)
  • peanut613
    peanut613 Posts: 438 Member
    I'm so sorry that happened to you. Even if you didn't have anxiety issues over your weight, it's still hurtful. All I can say is try not to let it bother you. Easier said than done, I know. But don't stay up working out and chugging water, try to keep your normal schedule. Tell yourself positive affirmations. I love me. My husband loves me. He loves me for exactly who I am. He loves me no matter what. I am better than my anxiety. Do your best to relax (meditate, bath, etc) and just let it go. You can lose weight, but those creeps will always be jerks.

    Hope your night gets better! :)
  • quietlywinning
    quietlywinning Posts: 889 Member
    I'm sorry you are going through this over some jerk. It would bother me too, but I can understand how it would be much worse when struggling with OCD issues.

    Look in the mirror and see the beautiful you. Remind yourself that a jerk says and does things that he/she does because that person is a jerk - not because of anything about you. That is a very unhappy person, but leave them in their misery - it's their job to get out of it or not - and you just take care of you. YOU are a beautiful person!
  • tammyquinnlmt
    tammyquinnlmt Posts: 680 Member
    Don't let it get to you. From what I can see, you are a beautiful woman.
  • vdavis_89
    vdavis_89 Posts: 334
    What a jerk! Even if the comment wasn't meant for your eyes or if it was made to piss of your husband .... the dumbass shouldn't have said it in the first place! No one deserves to be called names and you are not a whale you are beautiful!! So they can stick that in their juice box and SUCK IT!!! Add me if you like :)
  • Athena413
    Athena413 Posts: 1,709 Member
    I think it's important and healthy that you realize that you have a bit of an obsession with it, and I think it's great that you're getting help with it...as far as the d-bag goes that said that, you're right, they were just trying to piss off your husband and that shouldn't be taken to heart. Men are naturally possessive of their women and other people know that it's a good target to try and get under their skin. I, too, looked at your pictures and I never saw a whale. I think the worst thing that ever happened to me was when my husband and I were walking through the parking lot at Wal-Mart and some stupid guy yelled out to me "Hey, you want another biscuit?" I was extremely upset, but I've been made fun of my whole life for being fat, so by that time I was a little more used to it. I would suggest just doing your best to ignore it and get in to see that therapist as soon as you can. You're beautiful and don't let some idiot on facebook convince you otherwise.
  • WhoaKat
    WhoaKat Posts: 2
    For real? Wow. I can definitely relate to you on the anxiety, OCD, and depression, especially dealing with weight.
    People don't realize how much words can actually hurt. Newsflash, words hurt a lot. They've hurt me plenty.
    As for his comment, I know it hurts and it was an awful thing for him to say, completely uncalled for, but you cannot let it get to you. Your husband loves you, and you are beautiful. That's what should matter to you. I'm so sorry that happened to you though, you don't deserve it. No one does. Stay strong.
  • luv2teach32
    luv2teach32 Posts: 17
    I can understand that feeling of everyone looking at you in public, thinking that everyone is laughing at me. I have been on a yoyo of weight loss and gain since I was a little kid. I was doing really well last year, but for some reason, I started out this year very badly. I didn't see the gain as fast as in the past, until I went on vacation. Then I felt obligated to eat what was served and I gained 10 pounds that week. I feel awful about it, but since I got mad about it, I have lost 4 pounds in 5 days.
    So no matter what: Keep your head up. If you want to lose weight, you will be able to stay focused and do it. Stay positive as much as you possibly can and don't let what some jerk says about you push you back down. Good luck with all of your journey.
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
    um...Im not even sure what to say. Im a bit speechless, because you are the last person I'd expect someone to be calling a whale. :noway:

    You look like a pin up model!!! You are right that you shouldn't care about what that jealous chick had to say...especially since she is obviously delusional :sick:
  • EmmaR31
    EmmaR31 Posts: 184
    I think it's good to acknowledge that you are feeling this way, a bit obsessive, but not to let the feeling rule who you are. You are DEFINITELY not a whale as a lot of unbiased people have said.

    Acknowledge how you are feeling but you can choose whether to accept it as part of you and let this hurtful comment attack your self image or reject this as quite rightly a stupid comment by a jerk trying to get a reaction out of your husband and know that this is NOT who you are.
  • MrsFarrow
    MrsFarrow Posts: 326 Member
    Thanks so much everyone. Y'all brought a little tear to my eye ;)

    I actually slept better last night than I have in a while. I think it's because I honestly let it go. I thought about it, acknowledged how I felt, reasoned it out, and fell fast asleep.

    And even though I REALLY don't like breaking down other people in a negative way (even if they deserve it) I definitely tore this kid a new one in my head haha! That made me feel a little better. But you guys are honestly the reason I keep this up. I mean, I can lose weight on my own, but you guys help so much! And I just wanted to send out a bunch of happy vibes to everyone! Thanks so much<3
  • chris6515
    chris6515 Posts: 131 Member
    Don't let a stranger have the power to make you miserable. At the end of each day, the only one you have to answer to is the one who looks back at you from your mirror (and your Creator, however you believe). Live and act in a way in which you can be proud and no one will be able to undermine your confidence.
  • angelicdisgrace
    angelicdisgrace Posts: 2,071 Member
    Dont let a worthless pos get to you.
  • Schwiggity
    Schwiggity Posts: 1,449 Member
    The guy was taking the cheapest shot he could. People throw around the fat term for women a lot more, especially at lower weights, and I think it's ****ing ridiculous.
  • sparrows7
    sparrows7 Posts: 59
    Good for you, for letting it go. They were TRYING to get at him, no use holding on to that.
  • keb80
    keb80 Posts: 394
    Ignore the hater... you look great!!
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    Years ago, I started a website based on my experiences with online dating, which was written in a very sarcastic and kind of b!tchy way. Most people took it at face value, saw the humor in it, but some folks got offended by it.

    The people who got offended would, in turn, insult me. I was called "a skinny b!tch" by some, "a fat cow who can't get a date" by others, "ugly" by others, and "pretty so I never developed a personality" by others. All based on the same photograph.

    Never take anything people trying to insult you say personally.

    And for what it's worth, I think you're frickin' gorgeous.
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