Help!!! Gaining weight!

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JDySart777
JDySart777 Posts: 270 Member
in Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
MFP!!!! I need help! I've been w/ my girlfriend for almost 2 and a half years now and she's one of the best things to happen to me after my divorce.....BUT, she's not into the dieting (eating clean) and working out. Before I met her, I had worked my *kitten* off to lose 70 lbs. I dropped from 259 to 180! I then had a couple surgeries that prevented me from working out, and during recovery of my last surgery was when I met her. So while not working out, and now spending time with her, my eating habits also started to slip. Now it's just a crazy roller coaster of trying to get back on track. We live together now, so the house is full of cakes, pies, pizza and fries! She uses the excuse of her kids not wanting to eat that healthy stuff all the time. Yes, I do buy clean food, but with all of this other crap around it's hard to resist! She actually gets an attitude (not a serious one....just annoyed, I guess) when I start eating clean again. I've gained almost half (maybe more) of the weight I'd lost! I work out in spurts now....I'll be doing good for about 2 weeks and then I fall off...or get discouraged because I have absolutely not inspiration or motivation at home. She complains about her weight and she'll go to the gym here and there, but she comes home to enjoy her cookies and milk! What does it take for me to get her more motivated?! And I also need more people motivating me!!! Food is hard to turn away from.....I wasn't 249 lbs for no reason! I've even been tempted to move out over this, and it's driving me nuts! I'm tired of getting the "side-eye" when I pull phone phone out to scan the bar codes on something I'm about to eat...
And yes....I've discussed this with her....well, not the moving out part lol....but she used to say "If you don't like it, don't look" (not to me exactly, but just in general about going to the beach or water park n' such). But then she turns around and complains about the weight she's gaining. What do I do?

Replies

  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
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    You can only focus on yourself and can't force her to change. If it truly bothers you that much then tell her how you feel and say that you may have to move out/break up over it. Also, dieting does not equal eating clean. Just eat in a calorie deficit, hit micros, and macros, and follow some kind of structured lifting program.
  • barryt2020
    barryt2020 Posts: 1 Member
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    Perhaps a backbone
  • safariwy2
    safariwy2 Posts: 2 Member
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    I would suggest a neutral place to meet without the kids and show her the post you did. Then if she blows you off I would suggest a new girlfriend... you have to do what is best for you!
  • cnbbnc
    cnbbnc Posts: 1,267 Member
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    Well...you won't get her to change unless she wants to (which obviously she doesn't), soooooo.....either you have to...

    ditch the chick and have her take her pies with her.

    stick to your preferred foods (and workout schedule) and make some goodies fit your calorie goal.

    ditch all your hard work because it ain't worth fighting over and grab yourself some cookies.



  • kayemali
    kayemali Posts: 59 Member
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    I'm so confused how your girl will get mad at you for wanted you to change your body, she should support you no matter what, if she can't, then my friend, she ain't the one. As for motivation, stop be a slacker, don't complain about your body then snack on rubbish, I'm Gona be harsh, stop being a little wimp, if you really want to change then do it for you mate, do what makes YOU happy, treat your body like a temple, you want to eat clean, you do it, let your girl eat rubbish, treat your body good and it will treat you better. You can do it mate, just think when you put in a good month of work and look in the mirror and see change and you'll be motivated. Good luck
  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
    edited July 2016
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    I'm kinda in the same situation but without the rude comebacks from my hubby, plus he is interested in eating healthier, BUT he also loads the house with treats (he doesn't need to lose weight) and unequivocally does NOT want me lose a pound more, so i get sabotaged as well :angry: For example, i have finished eating for the day and every night i tell him "please don't make me any snacks", but most nights he will go into the kitchen and fix me up something he knows i find hard to resist and literally serves it up in my lap! Last night it was an ice cream concoction, so i accepted it and then got up and put it in the freezer for another time, i then get the evil eye from him and he acts like i just murdered his first born child. So, once again a willpower of steel is needed when dealing with people like this, he can't hold my mouth open and pour the food down my throat lol

    My only advice to you is to exercise your willpower, if you want to lose weight then you need to be stronger than the temptations that surround you every day. I would also start cooking the family dinners and learn to make yummy and healthy meals and snacks that everyone will enjoy.

    Sorry for the rant, but as you probably guessed this is a tetchy subject for me.

    ETA: I don't always have the will to knock back what he makes me, but I'm getting better and it's starting to easier and easier everyday to refuse them.
  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
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    Oh and OP, you may want to get your thread moved over to the general weight loss board, as this one is for people who purposefully want to gain weight, weight lifters etc.

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