Any suggestions? How to deal with motivation crushers
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PositiveGoals
Posts: 50
I think the hardest motivation crusher for me is that I am so big now, people no longer see me as a person with feelings. They see me as a freak. It seems to be socially acceptable for people to blatently stare at me, point at me, or laugh at me. If a child points or stares as a wheelchair bound handicap, the parents are mortified, embarraced, and quikcly give their child a quick social etiquot lesson. Not with the obese. When children point at me and say Mommy look how fat that lady is and giggle, the parents often laugh and stare right along with them. I could lose half my body fat and still be morbidly obese. So when these things happen, it makes me feel so defeated. There's this one kid in my complex who is about seven years old. This child has seen me around for years and knowns I am fat not pregnant. This child has pointed and taunted me for being fat for over a year and the parents say nothing. But this child while surrounded by friends said hey lady, when you gonna have that baby. The parents were right there and laughed. My response was to tell the child I'm not pregnant, i'm fat because I like to eat little children. The kids ran and screamed in fear. I felt so guilty after. I'm planning on gastric bypass in 6 mos and knowing that losing half my weight will still be morbidly obese makes it so hard to feel motivated. I know it will extend my life, but what quality of life will I have if I can't lose all the weight. Surgery is such a hard way to go, but i've tried on my own for years. The idea of going to such extremes and still being fat and ridiculed puts a knot in my stomach. Any suggestions on staying motivated?
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Replies
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You CAN lose all the weight! It's a scary situation, but I bet if you get your mind right you can do it WITHOUT gastric bypass. I've seen more people have the surgery and gain it back, than doing it the right way.
The reason?? Gastir Bypass won't change your lifestyle. If you change your lifestyle, and keep at it...you'll do it. And it WILL stay off. Just keep a picture or a pair of pants or something to remind you of how far you came!
I recently found this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SbXgQqbOoU
Please watch it, it almost sounds liek your situation.0 -
what a horrible child and even worse parents!!!!
Good luck with your weight loss journey and lifestyle changes.0 -
Do you still call disabled people Handicap in the US? wow...
I hear you but I have more weight than you to lose and I would hardly call myself morbidly obese and have never had people point and stare at me in the street! SO Im sorry to hear you have had such a hard time. However you should be very proud that you are here on this site and are taking action to become healthier.
Good luck on your journey!0 -
That's terrible especially on the parents part how is the child going to know any better if the parent doesn't correct them. I would have the same talk with my children if they pointed at someone obese as I would about anyone else who is different.
Good luck with the weightloss I know losing half your fat will still leave you morbidly obese bit it will make a hell of a difference to your life. Take care of yourself0 -
**** them , I hate children like that i had one at work grabed my arm and was like haha your flabby , for years i had comments from people my own age typically high school thing. you have to keep going and know that you will be beautiful and a healthy weight and these people will eat there own words
also love the fact you said you eat children!
stick on here keep going it wont be easy but a year from now would you rather look bad and think wow ive lost all that weight or think I wish I stuck to it and didn't let lower people get to me0 -
What awful people you have run into. Thats awful!! No one deserves to be treated like that. I agree with the poster who said to be careful with the Gastric Bypass and do it right. I have also seen people baloon back up after it because they cant get their food demons in check after the procedure. We are so lucky in this day and age that we have that option. I totally agree that if you feel like you need to do it, than you should be able to have it done.
Remember this, it is a journey, not a race to the finish line. Every single little pound counts. You will find that once you get your mojo with this loss and lifestyle, you will find the pounds come off pretty quick for sure.
Dont let what other people think of you define WHO you are. Just because some little snot nosed child points and makes fun of you doesnt mean that you arent worth anything. You are worth everything in the world. You need to build up some confidance and faith in yourself. But you and only you have to make that decision to just do it. Just keep moving ahead, and when you lose the weight, think how great it will be. You have to really, really want this. No excuses. Every day get up and take a walk, do as much as you can and just keep moving. You dont have to wait until 6 months to start losing weight. Today is a new day my friend. Every single little bit helps. Good luck to you!!!0 -
I was very touched upon reading this post. Personally, I would try my very best way I know how to ease your pain. This method isn't for everyone but, it's what has been used to motivate so many of our world's greatest achievers.
Remember the way you feel when those people and those kids belittled you in such a manner. Make it your tool that which propels you forward instead sinks you lower. Be angry. Be hurt. Be upset with their ignorance. Get pissed off and do what you need to do. Success is the best revenge.
When you are sitting on your couch fluttering back and forth in your mind on whether to get up and exercise or to just stay put -- think about those kids taunting you and you will rise.
When you are hungry and about to go to that fast food place and get those fatty foods that you always used to eat -- think about those parents laughing and acting the same age as their children and you will drive to the grocery store.
When you are working out and you muscles burn, you're surrounding by a pool of your own sweat and you're at your breaking point -- think about all the ****ing *kitten* holes that never could keep their mouths shut and mind their own business and you'll push passed your limits.
Every time you think about quitting think about those people and you will stay strong.
Again, success is the best revenge.
I wish you all the best.
Jeremy0 -
These people are just ignorant and brining up their children to be the same, just say to yourself "SOON I WILL BE SLIM BUT THEY WILL ALWAYS BE IGNORANT" you should feel sorry for people like these. Stay focused and you will do it, it may feel like a mountain to climb but YOU CAN DO IT. good luck0
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I'm sorry, but all I could do was laugh at "I'm fat because I eat little children". That's freaking hilarious!! And that kid definately deserved it.
However. People who point and laugh at you are *kitten*. If my kids ever behaved like that towards anyone, fat, skinny, tall, short, disabled, etc., they'd learn very quickly that we do not do things like that. A lot of parents these days do not discipline their children.
With all of that being said, your motivation needs to come from within you, and no one can take that away from you. If your goal is GB, then do whatever it takes to get yourself there. I will tell you this, though. I watched a documentary on 3 morbidly obese people. Two had gastric bypass, one went from well over 300 lbs, to a very trim and fit 120 all on her own. The two that had the GB surgery had to have another surgery for skin removal while the woman who lost weight over the course of two and a half years didn't. She also looked better because she worked harder for it. If I could remember the name of that documentary, I'd let you know what it is.
You just keep plugging at what you're doing, and ignore everyone else. You can do it!!0 -
Wow. Got me all teary eyed.0 -
An inspiring answer Jeremy.
I wish you all the best of luck on your journey. Surround yourself with supporters and motivators - MFP is a fabulous place to start. I love these people. You can do this!0 -
I was very touched upon reading this post. Personally, I would try my very best way I know how to ease your pain. This method isn't for everyone but, it's what has been used to motivate so many of our world's greatest achievers.
Remember the way you feel when those people and those kids belittled you in such a manner. Make it your tool that which propels you forward instead sinks you lower. Be angry. Be hurt. Be upset with their ignorance. Get pissed off and do what you need to do. Success is the best revenge.
When you are sitting on your couch fluttering back and forth in your mind on whether to get up and exercise or to just stay put -- think about those kids taunting you and you will rise.
When you are hungry and about to go to that fast food place and get those fatty foods that you always used to eat -- think about those parents laughing and acting the same age as their children and you will drive to the grocery store.
LOVE THIS!!
When you are working out and you muscles burn, you're surrounding by a pool of your own sweat and you're at your breaking point -- think about all the ****ing *kitten* holes that never could keep their mouths shut and mind their own business and you'll push passed your limits.
Every time you think about quitting think about those people and you will stay strong.
Again, success is the best revenge.
I wish you all the best.
Jeremy
AND THIS!
I am sorry people can be so mean! Use it to fuel your desire for a healthier you!!0 -
Just turn it around. Those people are ar$eholes. Seriously. You wouldn't care if they moved tomorrow so don't give a damn about what they think about you now. Sadly, trying to lose weight when you are big does require an amount of balls. Brazen it out. You don't care what they think because they are morons and who cares what morons think?0
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I hate your story, it highlights human nature at it's worst. Take away their ammunition, do this for you, small changes to your life will reap big rewards, each change and it's results will motivate you to move on to the next. THERE WILL BE REAL CRAPPY TIMES WHEN YOU JUST CAN'T BE ARSED but then you will get your head together again and your mfpals will still be there for you, coz mfpals are the best.... Bizarre I know but I think my mfpals are more motivating, more consistent and a whole lot more fun than a lot of my real pals lol!!!! Add people, make small changes together have fun and tell those kids you are gonna eat them but without Mayo n cheese coz u are on a diet lol! X0
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What horrible people! I would just ignore them.. You are going to lose weight but they will always be losers. Hold your chin up you know your doing the right thing don't let them stop you
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I think that part of your transformation is going to require a mental makeover as well. You don't need gastric bypass to lose the weight. What you need is diligence and confidence that you will overcome this seemingly daunting feat. No, it won't happen overnight, in a month or in a year but, it will happen if you 1. believe that it will happen and 2. MAKE it happen. For years I kept saying I WISH I were skinny or I WISH I felt better about myself but, not once did I get off my butt, change my eating habits and transform my mindset to make it happen. Losing weight is no different from going to school to get a degree.....it takes time and patience! Don't give others the power to make you feel down; you're allowing them to win. Use that criticism as motivation to succeed!!0
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I was very touched upon reading this post. Personally, I would try my very best way I know how to ease your pain. This method isn't for everyone but, it's what has been used to motivate so many of our world's greatest achievers.
Remember the way you feel when those people and those kids belittled you in such a manner. Make it your tool that which propels you forward instead sinks you lower. Be angry. Be hurt. Be upset with their ignorance. Get pissed off and do what you need to do. Success is the best revenge.
When you are sitting on your couch fluttering back and forth in your mind on whether to get up and exercise or to just stay put -- think about those kids taunting you and you will rise.
When you are hungry and about to go to that fast food place and get those fatty foods that you always used to eat -- think about those parents laughing and acting the same age as their children and you will drive to the grocery store.
When you are working out and you muscles burn, you're surrounding by a pool of your own sweat and you're at your breaking point -- think about all the ****ing *kitten* holes that never could keep their mouths shut and mind their own business and you'll push passed your limits.
Every time you think about quitting think about those people and you will stay strong.
Again, success is the best revenge.
I wish you all the best.
Jeremy
This! I love it! I was going to write something along those lines, but with less aggression! I think you hit the spot perfectly though!0 -
love this and it is true not only that but unfortunately they will probably still be mean when you are slim. You however will rememeber this when you are slim and help someone else. We are rooting for you. What I like agout MFP is it seems to help you focus on yourself in the right way and others in the right way too. You can be beautiful inside and out they could too but I think you are headed in the right direction and they are headed in the wrong one. Just keep headed the right way and keep putting one foot in front of the other. We are doing the same thing with you.These people are just ignorant and brining up their children to be the same, just say to yourself "SOON I WILL BE SLIM BUT THEY WILL ALWAYS BE IGNORANT" you should feel sorry for people like these. Stay focused and you will do it, it may feel like a mountain to climb but YOU CAN DO IT. good luck
Keri0 -
I appreciate all of the kind words and advice. I just want everyone to realize that I am not morbidly obese where I can lose the weight in a year on my own. I am morbidly obese in that unless I quit my job, get a personal chef, personal trainer and exercise 8-10 hours per day like they do on the biggest loser, my body will not lose the weight. I am no obese. I am malignantly obese (aka super morbid obesity). If you want a peak into my life, watch Extreme Makeover Weightloss Edition. You will see what it is like. Many people have comment about the gastic bypass vs 'the right way'. Who is to say which is the right way. There are actually more success stories than not with the gastric bypass. I have done tons of research. When you get this big, you cannot do it with diet and exercise alone. I have developed enough medical conditions that my doctor has told me I do not have the years to lose the weight. My doctor thinks I need to rapidly lose the weight or i'll be dead in under five years. So there's a certain amount of lesser of two evils happening here. I have been dieting and exercising like a mad woman. I go to a weekly weight loss surgery & weightloss wellness class. I go the therapy twice per month to make sure my head is in the right place prior to surgery. I have read every online article, and ever book surrounding this srugery. I have watched every documentary and youtube video both pro and negative about the surgeries. I have joined numerous forums as well as online, and in person support groups. I have interviewed numerous doctors and researched their backgrounds. Some people suggest I put more effort into this than trying to lose weight. Those people do not know me. I have tried every diet and every exercise I am physically capable or doing. I do not have the benefit of Bob & Jillian with doctors and ambulance on site incase anything goes wrong. There will always be those people who think it is too wrong, too dangerouse, or in some misguided situations those who think it is the easy way. It is not. This is the hard way, it is my last resort. Those of you who are offering support and motivation for me to reach the target goal to qualify for the surgery, thank you. Those of you who cannot support me in this, thank you for your well meaning opinions. Unfortunatley, when people knock your journey, it does not motivate you.0
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Sounds like your head is in the right place to get this rolling. Good luck on this! And here's to the future new you!!!0
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