Weight loss is a funny thing..

Weight loss is a funny thing.

At first people congratulate you and tell how wonderful it is that you're changing your lifestyle. Then they'll begin to tell you how amazing you're looking, and encourage you to continue.

As you get closer to your goal, then all of a sudden, they make comments that you're to thin, or that you're wasting away. Or if you allow yourself a a treat, they'll comment that you shouldn't eat that, or even worse, if you decline something offered to you, they'll say something like "what, are you to good for that?"

Suddenly people whom you've known, and have supported you, begin to be somewhat cold and distant...

What the heck is up with that?! I'm doing this for me, and nobody else!

Sorry, I just needed to express this..

Replies

  • CoffeeandCats2
    CoffeeandCats2 Posts: 49 Member
    That's sad :(
  • ceceblackstock327
    ceceblackstock327 Posts: 40 Member
    Same! I'm actually at the higher end of my healthy BMI, and would also like to go a little lower.. I guess I need to learn how to let it roll off my back too.. It's hard because some of these people have been my support group!
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    True dat. I'm technically still obese and I got my first "You're going to dry up and blow away" comment from a dear slim friend Sunday. She was just being congratulatory.
  • Bagira01
    Bagira01 Posts: 4 Member
    I agree. Do what is right for you, and nobody else. My personal goal is to loose 10lbs, some people think that's crazy-but that's the weight I felt healthiest at...
  • Deadlineordust
    Deadlineordust Posts: 5 Member
    I have seen this. They are jealous of how hard you worked and know they couldn't do it.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,963 Member
    People today seem to ALWAYS be concerned about what others do or think, than pay attention to themselves.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

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  • abitofbliss
    abitofbliss Posts: 198 Member
    Luckily, most of my feedback has been positive with my weight loss so far but god forbid I tell someone I have 40lbs more to go..They look me up and down and say "where!!!" I am a tall girl so even at 250lbs, I wear it well, now at 206lbs I am still considered obese. Another 40lbs is barely putting me in the healthy BMI range. I have been that weight before and looked/felt great... But I don't feel like I should have to explain that to them. They don't see my naked jiggles.

    I do feel some jealousy coming from remarks about what I am eating or the fact I walk on my breaks. It's kind of flattering. Like, you can do this too.

    No matter what, too big, just right, too small - People are going to have opinions and be judgmental. It's so unfortunate.
  • JDixon852019
    JDixon852019 Posts: 312 Member
    Inform them they are NOT being helpful. Jealous people suck
  • HippySkoppy
    HippySkoppy Posts: 725 Member
    Wow - some of you have had some incredibly hurtful remarks made weight and appearance. I take my hat off to the everyone that has risen above the 'comments' of others and kept on doing what is right for themselves...sometimes that is not easy to brush aside, particularly if you are of fragile self-esteem and been primed from childhood experiences.

    I always smile to myself now at 53, 5'4" and 110 lbs about the comments about me being tiny, sickly (due to my size not because I AM actually sick) and the probability that I'm going to do a Mary Poppins any moment, thinking that they have no idea of how hard I have worked and work to maintain this weight.

    Thanks to MFP my macros and micros are much improved through the act of logging and tracking. They don't know that I was significantly worse off at 278 lbs health wise and when I am well I can still out walk their back sides any time.

    It is a weird world we like in and you will never please everyone....so just please yourself.

    Best wishes to all.

  • Jcole05
    Jcole05 Posts: 21 Member
    I understand! My family has been so supportive of my journey, and then when I was t the very highest end of being in a healthy BMI, they tell me I'm skin and bones and need to eat some cake. What the heck?!
  • janegeer95
    janegeer95 Posts: 7 Member
    Yes. Couldn't agree more. I've got one or two of these sorts. However. Keep calm and carry on. I've lost five stone six pounds. Number one because I didn't want to risk Diabetes as my father had it and number two I looked like a dog when I was fat. Obviously the health thing was most important to me. It's not as though any of us on here has just lost weight by putting in no effort. We have ALL worked very hard to get where we are. It is a total lifestyle change which has to be lifelong. Now to sort my smoking out which interestingly when I have given up before I NEVER put on weight because I didn't reach for the biscuits as a replacement. Good luck with everything xx
  • paigeg150
    paigeg150 Posts: 27 Member
    I can completely relate!!!! Coworkers, family and friends make comments that leave me feeling silly for caring about what's going into my body!

    Ugh! No, I don't want cake or a burger and yes I'm going to bring my own food!

    My in laws try to be supportive by making grilled chicken with meals or making their version of a salad when we have family dinners. I am so grateful and think it's so thoughtful but I end up feeling like I have burdened them. I wish they would just let me bring my prepared portioned meal and eat that instead. I constantly feel like I'm being rude and usually leave hungry.

    To the comments (especially at work), "how small do you want to go?" "As long as you're being healthy about it" "you are eating right?".... I have taken some advice from these posts on how to handle the offensive comments better, so thank you!
    Btw- I'm still 200lbs at 5'10" so it's obvious I have more work to do- so I'm not sure why they have such "concern"!
  • jmuys01
    jmuys01 Posts: 3 Member
    I am just reading this now although the last posts are old. My friends were the same - especially the skinny friends saying that I was "too thin". My response was that if I had always been this size (like my skinny little sister damn her), then it would be considered normal. But since I was larger and am now smaller, that was where they struggled. Like all of you, what I do is for me. No one else.
  • indiacaitlin
    indiacaitlin Posts: 691 Member
    Ah my Mum is exactly like this! I put on a little bit of fluff in November/December because I had loads of stuff going on and slipped off track a bit. I told her I'd put on some weight and was looking forward to getting back on it and she said I shouldn't as I looked more normal now! She said I'd started to look gaunt, but I'd never even reached my target weight :#
  • rickc74
    rickc74 Posts: 416 Member
    I had a bit of this. I believe that some people were honestly concerned that I'd develop an eating disorder and told me it was time to stop losing, even though it wasn't. For the most part, though, I get genuinely happy reactions (sometimes stunned ones from people I haven't seen in a long time). I prefer to believe that people's intentions are good, for the most part, and they just don't know the right way to say what they mean.
    Regardless of the reactions of others, we should stick to our plans and get to healthy weights. Everyone else will adjust when we get there. Or they won't. Doesn't really matter.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    I guess it depends on your environment...most of my family and friends are health and fitness junkies. My mom is a 62 y.o. tri-athlete...though she mostly dances and plays golf these days. My sister was a gymnast for many years and is now an avid runner and does MMA/UFC stuff. My wife and I's best couple friends are both personal trainers and they own their own gym (and they are our trainers)...my best buddy is a yoga nut...my wife is a former collegiate soccer and rugby player and is now an avid runner, sometimes cyclist, and lifts like a boss...

    I was actually the "fatty" out of the group even though I come from an athletic background...I turned that around four years ago...no comments from the peanut gallery other than "awesome"
  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
    It's helpful to try and understand where these people are coming from. I often try to rein in any emotional response and rotate the situation around in my head first before reacting. It could save you a lot of unnecessary grief.

    People who love you want you to succeed, so they often offer comments that they think are helpful, encouraging..etc. Some of these comments may sound annoying and unhelpful, like worrying you are restricting too much when you say no to something or worrying you would fall off the wagon if you eat something that isn't typically thought of as a diet food. There is also the case where some people are used to connecting over food, and when you refuse to take part in their food rituals, they feel like your connection with them as a friend/family member is being threatened.

    After you have lost a good deal of weight, you no longer look like you. The person they have known for years is replaced with someone who looks foreign and unfamiliar. Logically they know it's you, but it still isn't connecting. You look much thinner than they would have seen you if you were always thin because they have a frame of reference and continue to compare you to your old size. They aren't purposely trying to sabotage you or bring you down, they're just going through this phase where they are struggling to connect the old with the new. Human nature. I wouldn't blame them. All you need to do is give them some time to adjust to your new look.