SBF, Reboot Boogaloo, 4th of July

Mary, Sorry Charlie couldn't go with you this morning. Hope it was still a good class! And I don't like parties either. Most of the time. Some times they are okay when my good friends are there.

I woke up cranky this morning. Three things happened last night that set me in a bad mood. First of all, I realized I wasted a bunch of food. Something was suppose to have been done with it by the 2nd. I forgot and it's ruined. I cried, Steve said it was no big deal. It's money wasted. My crying goes back to my childhood. My dad would have gone off on me if something like that had happened when I was a kid. I just expected Steve to react the same way. He didn't. He just gave me a hug and said it was okay.
Then a girl name Angelina is up for adoption in Russia and I have wanted her since I first saw her over a year ago. She's 11. Nobody wants this child and she's adorable and shy and insecure, and really really wants to be loved. With this particular agency families go to Russia and "Host" a child to see if they want them. On the trip in June Angelina went, unhosted for the fourth time, and the other families politely told the coordinator to remove her from them because the children they were hosting didn't like her hanging around. It's just so sad. I really want to adopt her but we can't right now. I told Steve if she's still there in a year I want to go meet her, and hopefully adopt her. He said if we have $50k then okay. I just want someone to give her a home.
Then one of my friend's who is doing a surrogacy pregnancy for a family started cramping and bleeding yesterday. It hit just a little too close to home again and I'm concerned for her. :frown:
So all of that has carried into today. I'm going to get off my rear and start cleaning, as unmotivated as I am, and hope that will clear my mind as well as my house. We are seeing friends this afternoon and tonight so that will help to keep me distracted. Sorry for such a downer post. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve.

Getting out of the dumps boogaloo!
MM

Aw man, I just typed a great big post and it disappeared. I'm having computer weirdness.

MM, your post about Angelina really got me last night. It breaks my heart that there are so many children (and adults) in the world that are suffering just from lack of love. You deserve to be cranky, too. But, I also know what you mean about the wheat/sugar weepiness, I get it too if I get too much of both.

I had to get up extra early today, so I already got a walk in home from my appointment. Other than that, it's getting to work and being excited because my husband is coming home today.

More love in the world, please, boogaloo.:flowerforyou:

Good morning!
Hope you had a good 4th! Mine was so so. Next year we want to go see a firework show. We went to a friend's house and the set some off for the kids but it was just the little ones that stay on the ground. Alex stayed in the house and watched a movie. :ohwell: He needs those big air force headphones so he can enjoy things like that. We will get him some. He did however enjoy seeing the fireworks from the car as we drove home. :laugh:
I have realized I need to get some action going on in all areas of my life. Everything is a mess. I've lost control and I have to get it back. Today is the last birthday celebration. I am glad for it. My goals for the day are: get some cleaning/laundry done and get on the treadmill. Since we don't have a meeting after horse therapy that will give me more time to get things done. I don't care how fast or how long or if I walk or jog, I just have to get on the treadmill and get some movement. Tomorrow I will work on getting my "diet" set up for next week and making a grocery list for that. I have got to start logging again and measuring portions again. Another goal this week: get to bed at usual time! This is has made both of us so tired even though it's only 30-60 minutes later. The cat has also been obnoxious and waking us up at all hours of the night.
My only problem is that I don't have motivation to accomplish these goals. Maybe if I just do it then the motivation will come back? I think that's what I have to do. Waiting for it just doesn't seem to be working.

Just do it boogaloo.
MM

Thanks V, for the encouragement. I needed that today. I got really down. I've been irritable today. It has not been the best last couple of hours, but it was only a couple of hours. Alex made a mess (one that was not fun to clean up), he didn't hear me when I told him to turn off the water in the tub so when I came back in the bathroom the tub was nearly full, and the clothes washer started squealing again and dripping water on the floor. Really? You gotta go and do that?
I did however get a 3.0 mph walk in on the TM for 45 minutes. And I did at least get two loads of laundry done before the washer started acting retarded. Wondering if I should try for a third (last one). Alex's truck is finished, although a protective coat wouldn't be a bad idea. So things are getting done but I'm feeling so overwhelmed with what is left. My sisters are planning to come up and help me go through stuff, but they will get here Saturday mid day, have a "shower" for Miss I, and then they have to leave Sunday afternoon. Not much time to get anything done. So I figure I'm in this by myself. That's okay. It'll help me grow up.
So V, the lists are a good idea. I think I will start one making one right now (more stalling) of the things I'd like to accomplish today and get them done. Thanks for helping. My Pebbs are the best! I'll stop hogging the thread now.

Knock outs boogaloo.
MM

V, thanks for suggesting to-do lists. It has helped. I need to make another one for today.

Mary, I hope Charlie is feeling better today. And I hope you are enjoying your family being there.

The doctor's office called at 6:45 last night asking me to call them back this morning. So needless to say I was a little nervous that my HCG levels were not going down or something. When I called her back she said they are falling, but it's still at 35. I have to go back in next week for more labs. Gee, let's just drag this depressing event out a little longer. Come on, body, get it together! I asked her about the saliva test I'm suppose to take and she said once my HCG's come back at zero then I can take the test. I hope it drops all 35 by next week so I can just move on. I don't know if that low of a number can cause me to feel like crying my eyes out this morning but that's what I'm blaming it on anyway. There's been tension between Steve and I this week and I've still felt bad. I'm ready to get over the last five months and start feeling normal again. Anyway, that was all probably more info that you needed to know.
I logged my breakfast and my morning snack! Now if I can just get through the rest of the day and log everything. My friend brought a cake to dinner last night: chocolate and German chocolate. I need to figure out what to do with the left overs. I rarely get German chocolate cake so I may eat the one piece that is left. Just not sure what to do with the rest of it. Trying to think of some friends to share it with. I refuse to keep it at my house. That's it! I'll take it to church tonight! :happy:
My other goals for the day: walk again or maybe even tae bo, put away last of laundry, and clean something. Also I need to spend some time with Alex. The only thing on my list I didn't get done yesterday was working with Alex on tying shoes, so I will try to do that today. I may set up the pool for him too. We'll see how far I get. Oh and I also have to make a grocery list and do some cooking this morning.
Plenty to do. Now I just have to find my motivation. Just where did I put it?

Small steps boogaloo.
MM

Yay for V getting to dance class! :happy:

Mary, how was your day yesterday?

CP, we miss you. Come check in again!

I logged almost all my food yesterday. I missed a couple of things toward the end of the day. I think once I knew I went over my calories, I just scrapped it. I'll try to log everything today no matter what. I would have been around my cals yesterday but I had two pieces of cake. :grumble: It's chocolate! I have a hard time with chocolate.
I did get some cleaning done and a fairly decent work out. I can see I am starting to get some motivation back. The key for me is not to think about what I have to get done; I just need to get up and start on it. Just do it. Today I need to go to the store, do some more cleaning (including one "deep" thing), and probably walk on the treadmill. I did the C25K yesterday and was awakened to my current fitness condition. Not good. But I started so that's a step in the right direction.
I have a lot of yard work to do as well. I'm trying to figure out when to start on that. Maybe tomorrow morning early or Saturday morning. Both the front and the back are really bad so they won't both get done in one day. There are a couple of things I need Steve to do so I don't repeat wrist failure as I have in the past.

Awakened boogaloo!
MM

Morning, pebbs.

Well, getting out of bed this morning, I was sort of one big. . ."Ow. Oh my, ow." It's none of it too terrible, but it was sort of amazing how dance class a few months ago was "meh." All those little muscles that haven't been used in a while. Today is my first "restorative" yoga class, and I'm a bit nervous, as it will be less individual attention.

Also, on Monday, I had to vow "no more ice cream until next Monday" because I have been on a bit of an "eat ice cream for a meal" bender. (it's the peril of living two doors away from two places that sell gelato/and or soft serve) It's been hot (well, hot for us) and my appetite is so weird on my medicines that it's been the only thing that sounds good to me. It's not good for me, though. I'm substituting frozen banana smoothies and protein shakes. Still pretty much the same experience, but there's actual food in them.

Today is a day off from actual work, although I've been percolating mightily (I'm in the period right before actual writing starts exploding where it's thinky thoughts all the time. . .trying to knit together a constructed argument out of bits and pieces of other peoples stuff. . .something new from something(s) old).

Ice cream is not a meal, boogaloo.:flowerforyou:

Sleeping in is going around. That's my day after yoga drill. Yesterday I did shoulder stand with a chair against a wall, which looked scary but felt amazing. I also managed the rope around the legs head on a bolster down dog for slightly longer. Progress. The main difference between this class and the other class is I'm learning how to do my own set ups. It's amazing how complicated some of these pillow blanket bolster chair constructions get.

Today is maybe a walk later. Weights are on the schedule but I'm sore still from dance and yoga, so I will wait until tomorrow.

Also, brainstorming and trying to outline something for writing. I'm feeling nonproductive, and want to have something, however messy, produced by the 15th to stay on the timeline.

Stay on the timeline, boogaloo.:flowerforyou:

Have fun today Mary!

Quick post here. The scale was down four pounds this morning so I am back under 155 by a pound. Just water weight but it's helpful to see. I need to keep logging even though I'm really not staying within my calorie range. My carbs and sugars are way too high.
Today is a busy day if we can get things going. Brakes on one of the cars, mowing, weed whacking, other things, and then a church meeting tonight. I think that's enough.

Vitamin D boogaloo.
MM

So, this just happened:

We had a sub in Zumba today, and she was a drill-sargeant yeller-type. It was a high-intensity class, so I was struggling to keep up, but I was keeping up, and frankly doing a better job of it than some of the other students.

About twenty minutes into the class, she was going around and "encouraging" individuals by saying things like "jump higher!" "MOVE" She came to me and said "I thought my Grandmother was busy today! Jump!" To which I put one finger on my right hand up and said "Uh-uh. NO." and left. I hate this style of fitness industry "encouragement/training" Why would you do this to people whose story you don't know? Uh, lady, I just spent four out of the past six weeks BEDRIDDEN. Tell that to your friggin grandmother.

I now await a call from the studio owner.

So not cool. So. not. cool.