Lost Joy

afeline4u
afeline4u Posts: 7 Member
in Motivation and Support
At Age 51 I have found myself divorced, lost my father, 2014 and my son February, 2016. These past 3.5 years have been trying. To add to my stress my 22 year old daughter has decided to tell me that she is expecting her first child my first grandchild November 4th of 2016. Somewhere along the way of taking care of my father the divorce and my son I have lost that joy for exercising and taking care of the most important person which is myself. Today as I sit and have breakfast my morning cup of joe and watch the blue skies bring in the rolling Monsoon weather I asked myself what happened where did my joy go at one point exercise was my best friend I was looking good feeling good losing weight and then life happened how do I gain that back I guess getting up out of the bed putting on the gym clothes and making it happen is ultimately the next steps I am also feeling blue with being 51 and single and I don't like this state of depression that I am in any suggestions on how to restore that faith and see bright Skies once again

A

Replies

  • CaptainJoy
    CaptainJoy Posts: 257 Member
    Why do you want to exercise and take good care of yourself? Make a list of all the things you would love to do or gain from exercise and losing weight. Make another list of all the things you can't do or might never be able to do because of your current weight and lack of energy. Then make a firm decision that your future dreams will not be limited because of your current condition. Choose to change so life will be enjoyable. Find your purpose and get moving. Find what motivates you and use it to move forward. The energy will come from eating right and exercise.

    What I'm trying to say is find a hobby or interest that benefits someone or something that you love. I've found that having a dog helps me feel needed and loved. Helping at homeless shelters, animal shelters, and other community functions makes me feel needed and loved. Going to church is an awesome experience and makes me feel needed and loved. Getting a new job and making friends with co-workers is another way to find motivation. Find what works for you so you have a reason and purpose to change your current self. Try to stay positive.
  • sunnybeaches105
    sunnybeaches105 Posts: 2,831 Member
    You're expecting your first grandchild and you're not excited? If you're suffering from clinical depression then you need to get help. Otherwise, chin up, get outside, and soak up life.
  • afeline4u
    afeline4u Posts: 7 Member
    I appreciate the feedback from those who have responded to my post. While grieving great loses of my life I am trying to move forward with a positive attitude as I work through this grief. It is hard loosing great love and a child is even worse. Your feedback is all awesome and I like 'chin up, get out and enjoy life. Yvette
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,088 Member
    I'm so sorry for your losses. I'm sure that was terrible for you.
    If your having ongoing feelings of sadness and depression, it might be time to go to talk with your doctor. Don't be afraid, you've been through a lot and it's understandable that you could need a little help to get past this. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
    Congratulations on your grand baby coming in November. That's definitely something that you can be happy for! A new baby is a joyous occasion!
  • afeline4u
    afeline4u Posts: 7 Member
    Zoey, all my life I've been the strong one in my family. Taking care of business and family. I have learned that even the strongest needs support from time to time. I have began to seek medical support for my depression. I am a positive and hopeful woman. Thanks.
  • ldowdesw
    ldowdesw Posts: 222 Member
    Oh lady, I can't begin to imagine how you've coped so far, my heart really does go out to you. You are a walking talking advert of how strong a human being can truly be and I don't mean physically. Time surely is a great healer and a very precious commodity. You seem to be coming out the other side of the darkest time as you are wanting to do something for yourself and you must now look to the future and embrace it. Being single isn't a bad thing, ok it can be lonely but could you start perhaps a yoga class and make new friends, as for being 51, it's only a number, get out there and live live live...
  • jstrickler
    jstrickler Posts: 17 Member
    Well....I unfortunately can relate to some of this...I am 42 (closer to 43) and I have lost my mom, my brother and my dad...although I am married...we still have a lot in common...about 4 years ago I had lost 90# and was running every day, feeling pretty damn good about myself....then my brother got really sick, really fast and died and I got on a huge pitty train and gained 50# back...just stopped running and lost my focus...and I could not get myself motivated to do any kind of excersize....I finally realized that IS the problem, excersize for me is my antidepressant, it sure the hell helps with the emotions....I had to really be honest with myself, my loved ones are safe, in heaven and I don't have to worry about them...we get one chance in this life, and I have had too many things take my happy, I will be damned if I am going to let something like weight, be one of them...we can control that...soooo with that said...don't think about the excersize just put on your clothes, lace up your shoes and just start walking...and I do agree about giving it to GOD...it sure makes a difference, you don't have to hold onto all of that hurt, give it to him!
  • afeline4u
    afeline4u Posts: 7 Member
    Hello friends. Thank you all for your kind words of encouragement. It has all been a welcome to me this day. I like that exercise is an antidepressant. I took to exercise back in 2012/2013 fast and furious and was called a gym rat. It was an amazing stress releaser at the end of my work day and I felt wonderful, alive and the result of my hard work wasn't bad. Today, has been busy as I pulled the gym bag out and filled it with all my necessities along with my Fitbit which I LOVE! I have no problem with the meals and a great planner in that department. It's now all about movement. The suggestion for walking I will incorporate into my morning routine. Nature excites me and there is so much to see, smell, hear and smile about when walking to wake up and see flowers blossoming is nature at its finest. We never know where life will take us and it's truly a journey, one we should never walk alone. I am not good at receiving or asking for help but this past year...well, I have learned to say yes and thank you. It's overwhelming for one person to go it alone. Thank you all.

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