Relationships

Crhan05 wrote: »

My relationship is complicated. Sometimes I do not feel like it's worth it.

Truth. However, like those that say it above love is a journey and it is not easy. Love is tough...It takes two and sometimes getting the help you need. Don't give up.

Q - Why do husbands typically die before our wives?




A - We want to.

kate141987 wrote: »

What's your best thing about being in a relationship?

Do you think it's over rated?
Do you believe in real love, love at first sight or is it all a load of garbage?

My adult son asked me 3-4 years ago, "Mom, does love ever die?" My mind immediately went to his father, who was killed in a accident when our son was just over two years old. My answer was "No," even though I was, by that time, happily remarried. I still think of my first husband.

Further, and surprising to me, the loss of two public figures, who reminded me very much of him, was very difficult on me -- Keith Green and Steve Irwin. My blue-eyed husband looked a lot like Keith Green, especially with his 1970s permed hair, and Steve Irwin was shaped like him.

I was initially my first husband's nightmare, but I "fell in love" with him one football season, after we'd been married @6.5 years, @2 years before the plane went down. I tried to learn how to be a good wife to him but was a bit late.

So I remained single for 10 years, then married an old widowed friend from my high school days. Did I love him? In my own way then. His love for me was far more pure, more sure. Mine -- I had to work at it. I came very close to leaving him twice: the first time before love had solidified. Matured. The second time, I gave him a strong, necessary ultimatum, and he complied. It took me over a year to trust him again, and in time, he has proven to be wonderful. I could not ask for a better marriage now.

We went through some difficult tomes.

We are all still human. We all make mistakes: some very serious and some not so much. Maturity will show us if we are willing to stick to our words ("I do.") long enough to reap the benefits of a long marriage.

I know the question is about love, not marriage, but most of us still end up making that marriage commitment. If not marriage, we expect and hope for a long-term relationship. Neither are a panacea. When we go into either without strong commitment to that other person, we are playing games with another's life. How dare we play games with someone else's life! People are worthy of our continued care and support, through the proverbial "thick and thin."

If you marry, make it for life. If you move in with someone, don't play games with them, leading them on, then dropping them. Life is designed to grow us. Growth does not happen so much in the good, peaceful times as through the difficulties. If you don't have the guts to do the hard times and stay, keep it platonic.

Personally, I think that the scene from Fiddler on the Roof. Where Teva asks his wife if she love him is what marital love is all about. It is choosing to walk beside someone through life's ups and downs, being there for each other.

I believe that yes, for some people love can last forever. I admit I'm jealous of those old couples who still love each other so much and find their spouse so beautiful no matter what... when after 14 years I just feel like I have a roommate. Being able to tolerate each other is so much more different than being in love IMO...

But love at first sight? Yes, I completely believe it, because I've experienced it. Twice. Unfortunately, it's rare that it happens both ways, so I can't comment on whether it would have lasted or not.

TheLegendaryBrandonHarris wrote: »

I really appreciate your words, Raina.

Thank you, Brandon.

Lust at first sight yes- love at first sight no. The worst thing ever is loving someone but they don't lust for you

My wife and I met online in an AOL chat room in 2000. We were both in a Cincinnati, Ohio room and she actually wanted to set me up with a friend of hers. But the more we talked the more she grew to like me. We talked for 12 weeks over the phone, IM, and E-Mail before we we decided to meet in a public place. We grew to know each other before we even saw each other.

I do believe in love, I do believe in Relationships, I do believe there is a soul mate for everyone out there somewhere. The problem lays in three folds that I see.

1) Lust. People just others based on looks. We just see someone and think. Well I cannot be seen with them, with their track record. How would it look to my friends if they saw me with that person. They're not pretty enough for me to hang around with.. Instead of looking on the inside. Emotional Love is attached to the persons emotional and mental side.

2) Internet Dating. With sites like Tinder floating around you're doing noting but projecting your wants every before you're getting to know someone. Which Stems from my point above. Then you have places like Match[dot]com where you can go out with someone one time and instantly think "Yea/No". People do not really get to know each other before moving forward.

3) Entitlement/Selfishness. Everything wants to think What can this person do for me. That's not how a relationship works. It's always "What I can do for that person". How can I make them happy. What can I do to see them smile, or feel loved. Instead we live in the Generation of the Gimmie Gimmies, and it's even stemming into the dating world.

Love is a Battlefield; we are strong

I think yes, love at first sight is superficial. You are coveting someone for their looks as you know nothing about the person they are. My first husband told me he fell in love with me across the room at a party. But infact what he fell in love with was at that moment I was having a great time and was surrounded by people. Plus I was younger than him. So I represented all the things he wanted to be at the time. Trouble is, I am generally not that sociable and every one gets older. I don't think he ever forgave me for not living up to his first impressions of what he thought I was like.
Anyway, yes I do believe in love. But it takes time and hard work. And the best love goes hand in hand with lust. If you have both in a relationship you're onto a good thing.

Trying to characterize being in a relationship as a general concept is pointless. Being in a relationship isn't inherently better or worse than being single, it depends on the person and the relationship. Of course, I'm sure everyone knows someone that perpetually bounces from one relationship to the next but I imagine it's hard to find actual happiness that way.

I for sure do not believe in love at first sight. I also think people overly romanticize and idealize concepts of love and relationships. It's not about the grand gestures, it's about finding someone you can be happy with doing normal boring things.

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kate141987 wrote: »

What's your best thing about being in a relationship?

I have a right AND left hand, so three ways are always available.

Do you think it's over rated?

My hand time, no. I practice a few times each day.

Do you believe in real love, love at first sight or is it all a load of garbage?

If someone else would lend a hand, or other stuff, that would be love and would get a load of garbage.

First I would have to understand what love really is, and what that feels like to believe in it... Not sure I have ever felt LOVE for anyone. I believe people put up with each other, so long as they are nice to each other.

I do believe its way over rated, and don't understand all the fuss about it...

Love at first site is garbage, I believe in LUST at first sight, that all there is

Jarod Kintz said,“Love is a thunderstorm, and I am the desert.”

Maybe that means as much as the desert needs the rain, the thunderstorm gives too much too fast for the desert to absorb, then the storm is over and moves on and the desert remains...still a desert.
Happiness can be found when you accept the inevitable loss as the nature of Love and embrace it fully unconditionally when you have it. Dance naked in it and make memories before it is over.