Binge Eating at Goal/Healthy Weight
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Same here. I feel like I zone out while I'm binging. Don't really enjoy what I am eating... don't know if it is a self-destructive thing. Definitely feels like I am sabotaging myself.0
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Wow, reading all of your post gave me so much encouragement and hope.
I am also right there with you all. Growing up I was always the "fat little kid" and was bullied and teased and developed some really bad body image issues. Through high school and college I struggled with what I later learned was binge eating disorder. My weight yo-yoed constantly, I would drop weight and balloon back up. After getting married and having two beautiful children, things calmed down, but now I am finding myself struggling again. I am a runner now (started after the birth of my son almost two years ago), but even with being a long-distance runner and training for a marathon, I am not dropping fat. It's because I am eating too much, and I know that it's stress and emotionally-triggered because we've been through crazy changes this past year including a cross-country move after two job losses. I have been toying with going to a doctor and trying anti-depressants to see if it helps my anxiety and compulsive eating. I just want to be well and healthy and a good role model for my children, especially my daughter. I don't need to be skinny... just healthy.
Anyway sorry for blabbing all that but best of luck to you all and thanks for making me feel not so alienated with this particular struggle.
I don't really have any idea of what the solution is... But if anybody has tips, I am all ears. (Counseling would probably be good... but very pricey for us and can't afford it... and honestly, I'm embarrassed to not have a better grip on things.)
Tangie0 -
I FEEL YOUR PAIN... ARE YOU TAKING A MULTI VITAMIN?? AND REMEMBER
" IF A FROG HAD A GLASS BOTTOM ,, HE WOULD ONLY JUMP ONCE." WE ARE NOT MADE OF GLASS EITHER AND SOMETIME WE HIT THE BUMPS PRETTY HARD.. JUST HAVE TO KEEP THE GOALS IN MIND ... AND I ASK GOD'S HELP A LOT.
THANKS FOR GOOD SUPPORT ON THIS SITE...0 -
I sometimes wonder if I was a more mentally balanced individual before I went on this weightloss journey. I was fat, unhappy, but not obsessed with calories, protein, fat grams, nutrients, exercise, not exercising enough, etc. It's overshadowed everything in my life. It's replaced my hobbies and all the things I used to do that I found fun. Going out isn't fun anymore because I can't eat/drink what I want. Going to the movie theatre is torture. Dinner out with my husband is impossible, and if it does, it's spent freaking out about the food I can't eat or the food I'm about to eat. I'm constantly scared I'll lose control of everything. I work in the food industry and I've not once tasted the foods I prepare, not one bite.
I had a life and now I don't. THIS is my life. This. What I'm doing now. Obsessing. I want the old, good part of me back. I want my relaxed, 'who cares' attitude about food back or maybe something in the middle, a balance.
So when I crack, I'm demolished. My mind turns against me and I eat uncontrollably. Like a shark on a feeding frenzy. They get so bad that I bet I could beat any competitive eater given the chance. It gets dangerous, just like an alcoholic can die from alcohol poisoning my stomach can burst from extreme food intake, or I can give myself a heart attack from the sudden insulin surge. And die.
I want to live. Not die.
Maybe I'm overthinking all this crap, I dunno. I just want to fix what I've broken in the process of fixing other things.1 -
I sometimes wonder if I was a more mentally balanced individual before I went on this weightloss journey. I was fat, unhappy, but not obsessed with calories, protein, fat grams, nutrients, exercise, not exercising enough, etc. It's overshadowed everything in my life. It's replaced my hobbies and all the things I used to do that I found fun. Going out isn't fun anymore because I can't eat/drink what I want. Going to the movie theatre is torture. Dinner out with my husband is impossible, and if it does, it's spent freaking out about the food I can't eat or the food I'm about to eat. I'm constantly scared I'll lose control of everything. I work in the food industry and I've not once tasted the foods I prepare, not one bite.
I had a life and now I don't. THIS is my life. This. What I'm doing now. Obsessing. I want the old, good part of me back. I want my relaxed, 'who cares' attitude about food back or maybe something in the middle, a balance.
So when I crack, I'm demolished. My mind turns against me and I eat uncontrollably. Like a shark on a feeding frenzy. They get so bad that I bet I could beat any competitive eater given the chance. It gets dangerous, just like an alcoholic can die from alcohol poisoning my stomach can burst from extreme food intake, or I can give myself a heart attack from the sudden insulin surge. And die.
I want to live. Not die.
Maybe I'm overthinking all this crap, I dunno. I just want to fix what I've broken in the process of fixing other things.
oh gosh, I can totally relate to this and many of the other previous posts... It's horrible!!! I'm so happy I've lost some weight, but now I am just completely OBSESSED with the way I look! And since my weight has been pretty stagnant the last 3-4 weeks, I'm getting discouraged and even more depressed with my body. I'm still faaaaarrrr from my goal weight, but I've recently started binging and even purging maybe once a week.... I didn't even bother filling out my diary the past 2.5 days since I had a friend visit (which means eating and drinking whatever, seeing as she weighs 90 pounds) and feel sooo disgusted. I love seeing my friends and family whenever I visit home (I moved recently), but it has become an absolute NIGHTMARE because I know I'll binge drink like crazy and eat total crap food with them, and I can't stand the guilt and the bloat I feel afterwards.. ugh.0 -
I sometimes wonder if I was a more mentally balanced individual before I went on this weightloss journey. I was fat, unhappy, but not obsessed with calories, protein, fat grams, nutrients, exercise, not exercising enough, etc. It's overshadowed everything in my life. It's replaced my hobbies and all the things I used to do that I found fun. Going out isn't fun anymore because I can't eat/drink what I want. Going to the movie theatre is torture. Dinner out with my husband is impossible, and if it does, it's spent freaking out about the food I can't eat or the food I'm about to eat. I'm constantly scared I'll lose control of everything. I work in the food industry and I've not once tasted the foods I prepare, not one bite.
I had a life and now I don't. THIS is my life. This. What I'm doing now. Obsessing. I want the old, good part of me back. I want my relaxed, 'who cares' attitude about food back or maybe something in the middle, a balance.
Feel exactly the same. This is my life...worrying about calories and a 2lb. weight fluctuation lol. I used to enjoy food and cooking it! Now, just to be on the safe side, I feel I'd rather eat mostly pre-portioned meals. Ahhhhh, the double-edged sword of dramatic weight loss.0 -
this is the story of my life....I thought i was pretty much alone... I feel out of control when it starts, and once it starts I feel like a failure and keep eating more and more just because I am so mad at myself. It's almost like revenge on myself for depriving myself of anything and everything everyday and trying to eat perfect everyday which never ever happens. I skrew up atleast once a day and once I start I cant stop. I want to learn discipline with food sooo bad. I usually do great until 5pm and then binge from 5-10!!0
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Maybe the worst part is that friends/family/loved ones don't take it seriously, and neither does most of society. Everyone just sees it as no big deal because after all, it is 'just food'. Well, to everybody else it's 'just food'. To me, it's my crack of choice. I'll do anything to get my fix and could star in my own episode of 'Intervention.' And also, when I try talking to someone about it they look at my weight and make the judgement call that it's just not an issue, as did a psychologist I tried to talk to. She ignored every attempt I made at bringing up my major issues with food and recommended stupid hippie-like meditation classes that I thought were just plain ridiculous...
I was hoping to be referred to a eating-disorder clinic but unless I'm dying, starving or bulimic there is just nothing 'seriously' wrong with me.
Shows like Man Vs. Food just glorify gorging yourself on garbage and so do all the fast food commercials that have skinny people eating eating fried chicken. How do you escape it? You can't.
Blah...0 -
There's this National Eating Disorders Helpline
1-800-931-2237 (http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/get-help-today/)
It looks like you're in Canada; Not sure if the above number is for USA only. Might be worth calling just to find out.
I also found a couple that say US and Canada via http://www.something-fishy.org/other/hotlines.php:
1-800-RENFREW (1-800-736-3739) The Renfrew Center
Referrals to Eating Disorder specialists (US and Canada)
1-800-841-1515
Rader Programs
Referrals to Eating Disorder specialists (US and Canada)
Good luck. You've come too far and have worked too hard to deserve to feel this way. I hope you can find a good balance soon.1 -
Almost lost complete control yesterday. Ended up at well over 3000 cals but not to the point where I felt like throwing up. I was just REALLY full.
Logged it all (public, you can look) and washed my hands of the day and went to bed.
I guess I stopped myself soon enough because I actually slept ok. Most times I end up with a horrible tummy ache all night and don't sleep at all. Or maybe it was my choice of foods. When I have something like pizza right before bed, I can't sleep that night...
I am up 5 pounds this morning but not logging the weight as it will most likely be gone tomorrow. I am just really bloated right now.0 -
This thread is really interesting for me at the moment. Realising that my weight was stable at 154 lbs, despite bingeing, convinced me that it would be easy to lose just by not bingeing. I dropped to 132, and went back to bingeing and stabilising my weight at 132 lbs. Mostly my triggers were special offers in the nearby corner shop, especially on Cadbury's Dairy Milk and Ben and Jerry's, as if it couldn't be that bad for me if it cost less! I would gorge myself secretly in the kitchen while my son was distracted by something in the lounge.
After Christmas I started using mfp to get back to my old ideal weight of 121. While I was losing, entering the calories stopped me from bingeing and I haven't felt the need to eat in secret since.
Now though, now I've reached that goal, I seem to be shrinking still! I am following my cravings and had a few really hungry days last week where I went 500 to 600 calories over mfp's predicted maintenance calories, and the number on the scales keeps getting lower. I haven't been bingeing, but I have been eating loads of high energy foods. Now I wonder if, to stop myself from shrinking further, do I need to binge? Could my stomach actually hold enough low calorie density food to get the energy it seems to need? Or would the odd mega sugar hit actually help stabilise my weight?
So my question is, are those of you bingeing at goal weight still maintaining?0 -
I've decided to give myself some wiggle room and maybe allow myself the binges that I try to avoid. I've had some success in the last little while just eating 'clean' food if I am going to binge. Rather than eating crap, I'll eat foods that my body will benefit from rather than suffer. Funny enough, I'm feeling better, feel like binge-eating less, sleep better, and my work outs are SO much better AND my weight has stayed the same.
Maybe it's a combination of psychological and physiological deprivation.
I read this interesting article about a study done on the effects of semi-starvation ( http://www.possibility.com/wiki/index.php?title=EffectsOfSemiStarvation) where a group of men were put on a reduced caloric diet for a period of three months. They pretty much went bonkers as we all have on this thread; constant obsession with food, extreme binge-eating once the study was over, etc. They all developed insane eating disorders and food issues during and after the study. I know I could totally relate to what these men went through. But what struck me the most is that after the study, their binge-eating eventually subsided, their weight eventually normalized and they went back to almost-normal lives. Maybe there's hope for us afterall?0 -
There you go. I honestly believe this is the problem for many near goal weight bingers. It's just so hard to increase calories or allow binges when the fear of going backwards is still there. I have tried to adopt a similar approach but do struggle with letting go0
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PattyTheUndefeated wrote: »Okay, here goes.
Since changing my life around, getting in shape, and becoming completely unrecognizable to my former self I've developed some serious food issues.
I've blogged about this struggle for the last few months and I'm at a loss when it comes to resolving it.
I've developed what I believe to be something between Binge Eating Disorder (BED) and Non-purging Bulimia. I'll find myself in fits of uncontrollable binges where I eat anything and everything unable to control myself or stop. I'll eat, and eat to the point where I am physically ill and uncomfortable/have stomach pains/sweating/heart racing.
Sometimes the triggers are emotional, sometimes they are not. I'll crave food, random things that I never ate when I was obese, whole boxes of cereal, peanut butter, high sugar foods like honey, chocolate etc.
I'm currently NOT trying to lose more weight, but put on lean muscle mass/lose fat so my workouts are pretty intense.
I don't know how to stop. I go through cycles of all-out binges and normal/healthy eating. I feel awful every time it happens but I can't seem to stop when they begin.
Has anyone experienced this AFTER reaching their goal weight? I never had any issues binge-eating when I was huge, I was just a habitual over-eater.
Any help or insight would be appreciated.PattyTheUndefeated wrote: »Okay, here goes.
Since changing my life around, getting in shape, and becoming completely unrecognizable to my former self I've developed some serious food issues.
I've blogged about this struggle for the last few months and I'm at a loss when it comes to resolving it.
I've developed what I believe to be something between Binge Eating Disorder (BED) and Non-purging Bulimia. I'll find myself in fits of uncontrollable binges where I eat anything and everything unable to control myself or stop. I'll eat, and eat to the point where I am physically ill and uncomfortable/have stomach pains/sweating/heart racing.
Sometimes the triggers are emotional, sometimes they are not. I'll crave food, random things that I never ate when I was obese, whole boxes of cereal, peanut butter, high sugar foods like honey, chocolate etc.
I'm currently NOT trying to lose more weight, but put on lean muscle mass/lose fat so my workouts are pretty intense.
I don't know how to stop. I go through cycles of all-out binges and normal/healthy eating. I feel awful every time it happens but I can't seem to stop when they begin.
Has anyone experienced this AFTER reaching their goal weight? I never had any issues binge-eating when I was huge, I was just a habitual over-eater.
Any help or insight would be appreciated.
I'm the exact same way! I just had a full unplanned cheat day and feel horrible now! It started off with donuts and I couldn't turn down taking the leftovers home then I ate those before noon(6 donuts)0 -
Bump! Going to have read & reply this evening. X0
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I'm hopping on this boat too.
My family have said that they don't think I used to eat like I do now, because whenever I visit them I will stuff myself until I feel physically sick and in pain. And I do it on foods I don't even particularly like - stale bread or crisps, cheap chocolate and cakes I don't like. I do it without thinking, it's as if I can't be there with them without something in my hand on the way to my mouth. I literally eat non-stop for the entire time I'm there, which can be hours! Last time I visited I ate 500g of peanut M&Ms in one sitting.
I don't remember eating like this before, but I guess I did, just not in such a frantic way. I am ashamed of how much I binge now. I eat things sneakily in the kitchen so my boyfriend doesn't see me. I buy and eat things on the way home so he won't find out.
The weird thing is, I find that the longer I've been on a "good" streak, the less likely I am to binge. At the moment I've been under my calorie goal for a week, and there are cakes at work but I haven't had any today. I feel like I don't want to break my streak.
Luckily my household is just myself and my boyfriend, so the way I get around binging is just not having the foods in the house. Sometimes this backfires, as I still have the raw ingredients and can make myself cakes or cookies, but it's better than having them immediately there. And my boyfriend understands so he has his things away from home. He also has a drawer in the fridge which I banned myself from.
I wish I knew why I do this, it's definitely not stress or emotional eating because I do it even when I am feeling good. I think it's just a part of my life that I will always have to be aware of.0 -
This is so sad ... I hear you loud and clear !!!Lost loads of weight years ago dong weight watchers and no exercise and since the I have battled to keep it off.Its up and down but not by much.No deep psychological reason for it just feel hungry most of the time.Having " goodies " in the house doesn't help as I will always find something to eat ......Sometimes wish didn't have to taking a pill would take all the thought out of it !!! 0 -
@PattyTheUndefeated - I see this thread is from 2011 - how are you doing these days?0
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Sometimes people suffer from a "fear of success" - its unfamiliar territory for some folks, and they are scared that they wont be able to handle it, or that they will get attention that they dont know how to handle, or that their lives will change in some way that they wont be able to control, or that as a "successful person" more will be required of them (in whatever form their insecurities take) - you get the drift. So they revert to old familiar habits of self soothing, and to be frank, very self sabotaging. Its not a conscious choice in any way - its a throwback to what comforted them (actually, us) in the days when we were overweight, and didnt have to deal with unfamiliar feelings. Mental health professionals often say that the more intense the feeling, the older its roots are, so some of these feelings may relate to instances from our childhoods - if Suzie or Johnny did well at something, maybe they were constantly paraded about by well meaning adults and that made them uncomfortable - that can show up as binge eating during other periods of "success".
The key is recognizing these feelings when they come on and then telling yourself that they are NOT REAL - we have to live in the here and now and deal with issues as they arise. We have to tell ourselves that success means that we are intelligent, adaptable and perfectly capable of learning new strategies to deal with new situations. Stuffing our faces, and thus stuffing down the emotions doesnt change anything about an external situation, and only serves to make us feel guilty, anxious, and insecure. No one wants to feel that way, so to engage in behaviours that produce those feelings is really illogical and counterproductive.
Everyone has to find their own strategy. For me, avoiding a binge means that I have to get up and try on my new, smaller clothes and look at my progress in the mirror. Or I have to go sit in the car and take deep breaths and listen to some music until the mania passes. Or go for a walk with the dog. Anything to get myself away from food.
Maybe a self affirmation therapy would be helpful for people who are still a bit fragile when it comes to accepting the new you. A couple of sessions to learn some self calming techniques can benefit just about anyone, in my opinion. We are so hard on ourselves, we need to learn some self acceptance as human beings with flaws and faults, but also with the ability to change behaviours that are doing us more harm than good.
Good Luck!!0 -
Hi! I am seven pounds from my goal. At least I was this morning at the doctor's office. But then something happened that made me regress into my past. I refuse to go there. But at the same time - I starting feeling bad about myself and then I started eating. I ate and ate and ate. I am full now, and uncomfortable and still depressed. I think tomorrow I will fast - but then when I think that, I really mess up so I guess I am just a mess. Too many failures, too many slips, too many sins, too many YOU NAME ITS!0
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