Terrified, disappointed, embarrassed, discouraged

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120471
120471 Posts: 4 Member
in Motivation and Support
I lost 55lbs a couple of years ago. I was so proud and happy to reach that goal. Everyone around me was amazingly supportive during my journey and shared the joy in my accomplishment.

In the past 6 months I have gained several pounds back. Even though I continued to eat healthy, I have allowed the occasional treat to become more regular and haven't been monitoring my portion sizes. That's all it takes when you are 5'1".

I know this is a life long battle for me, I accept that but I'm determined to start again. I'm just discouraged.

How do I stop beating myself up over gaining weight back when I worked so hard to take off. I'm disappointed with myself and I'm embarrassed around my 'life cheerleaders' who can see that I have slipped. I'm so scared I won't be able to get back to my healthy weight.

Replies

  • JenTrikes
    JenTrikes Posts: 3 Member
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    I've slipped in the last 6 months as well, and it was crushing when a loved one recently asked if I've gained some weight back. I was certainly aware that I'd put on some pounds, and my first frantic thought was, 'Oh God, others have noticed!'

    I spent about a week being upset with myself before I realized that those negative feelings were more likely to put me in a mindset to put weight on rather than take some off. Whenever I feel my mind going to that negative place again I ask myself, "What are you going to do about it?" That usually prompts me to go for a walk or pick up some dumbbells. Time permitting, it gets me on my bike. If I can't get up and move when that question comes to mind, it at least turns my thoughts to meal planning or deciding what I'll do when I'm home from work and can exercise.

    Try to turn that disappointment into determination. You can do it!
  • Flybeetle
    Flybeetle Posts: 387 Member
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    I've been there... I'm clawing my way back to losing the last few pounds that I allowed to creep back on during a stressful period. And it's so much harder this time around!
    I think focussing and staying hope you for what's next could help you stop beating yourself up.
    Have one day of staying under, tell yourself you're back on track... get some new supportive friends on here, and exercise every morning to set the tone for the day.
    That's what I do, anyway, and I don't dwell on yesterday (when I splurged, yikes) but try to focus on how awesome I feel today (got a run in this morning and have eaten super well so far).
    I think the more you keep beating yourself up, the less likely you will get back on track because you focus on what's behind you, not on what you can do NOW, you're potential...

    Does that make sense?
    Good luck, you know you can do it!!
  • Coupongrl79
    Coupongrl79 Posts: 193 Member
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    What's done is done. If you keep focusing on the rearview mirror, you're gonna crash. Focus on what's ahead and move forward.

    If you are having a hard time getting back on track, start small. In the beginning, I couldn't stick to the MFP calorie goal. I kept failing. I had to start out by eating exactly what I was eating everyday but reducing it by 250 calories. It's like giving up one candy bar or some other treat for the day. That is totally doable. Then I added in enough exercise each day to burn 250 calories. So I was creating a 500 calorie deficit each day. That adds up to a 3500 calorie deficient each week = 1 lb a week. A 1 lb loss each week is still a 50 lb loss each year. After a month or so, I was able to reduce my calories enough to follow the MFP recommended calorie goals. Start small. Don't overthink it. You can do this!
  • Sloth2016
    Sloth2016 Posts: 846 Member
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    Happens to everyone.

    1. Stop beating your self up over it - you've done nothing wrong
    2. Start monitoring your portion sizes again
    3. Make that occasional treat a more frequent thing as an added benefit of your planning for it and keeping to your plan
    4. Profit :)
  • 120471
    120471 Posts: 4 Member
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    Thank you. Thank you. Although I'm not there yet I've found my way to the right path again. Thank you for the reassurance that what I am feeling is solely that, a feeling and does not need to be my forever reality. Much love.
  • middlehaitch
    middlehaitch Posts: 8,485 Member
    edited August 2016
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    You have got some great advice and support already. There is little I can add but a bit of advice for when you return to your preferred weight.

    I'm 5'1 so I know what an extra 10-15 lbs can look like.
    That being said, there is nothing to feel bad about, you have realized what is happening, and are taking action. Hooray.

    I have maintained my weight for a number of years. Right from the beginning of my maintenance I gave my self a weight range to stay within. Not a specific weight.
    As there are a number of reasons why our weight fluctuates I watch my weigh trends. If it is starting to edge towards the top or bottom of my range I take action before thing start to go haywire.

    Once you are back at a weight that you like, think of having a range instead of a set number.
    My range is 5 lbs, but you could set yours to whatever number you are comfortable at. 5 lbs under/7 lbs over, 3 under/2 over- just what works for you.

    Cheers, h.
  • 120471
    120471 Posts: 4 Member
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    Thank you. That's great advice!

    I'm looking forward to when I'm officially in that maintence phrase.
  • Mini_Medic
    Mini_Medic Posts: 343 Member
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    Well I lost 40 lbs four years ago. Guess what? I gained every bit back +5lbs. Now I've lost it all but the last 5 again! You can do this. Maintence is way harder than losing but I can tell you this, just treat maintence like your still losing but you don't have to say no to everything! If you let yourself get into the "I'm done now" mindset you will fail. If you keep yourself in losing mindset you can maintain in a +/- 5 lb range because you can allow more treats or higher days but then you are still in lose mode and just have lighter days to compensate. It's tough but you can do it, and I know you can because you already have! I lost and regained and lost and I truly hope this time will be perminently successful and so far, so good! Good luck and stay strong!
  • 120471
    120471 Posts: 4 Member
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    Thank you for sharing, Super encouraging. :)
  • AJF230
    AJF230 Posts: 81 Member
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    You're going to have to consistently monitor. Us folks in 2016 have fewer excuses though. A smartphone with MFP is like a super-tool. If its the tool that keeps you in steady maintenance, USE IT regularly!

    Tomorrow I will have 2 solid weeks of tracking in MFP, and when I do get to maintenance, I don't intend to stop using.

  • HolDav1
    HolDav1 Posts: 18 Member
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    True "Life Cheerleaders" are surely good friends who are happy to help you again. We're human and make mistakes. It's OK. Just start out again - all habits get stronger with use, including fitness. I know you can do this - one step (literally) at a time!
  • Namaste_Heart11
    Namaste_Heart11 Posts: 51 Member
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    Be gentle, and others will mirror the ways that you treat yourself... You have not failed ~ quite the opposite! You are moving ahead one day at a time & have the opportunity to show others how to do the same <3
  • Yourkindagirl
    Yourkindagirl Posts: 100 Member
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    This happens to the best of us. I had lost 84 pounds. My mama died, and I gained 60 pounds in less than a year. That's going from a size 4 to an 18. It was very embarrassing, even though I was in a depression.

    What you do is acknowledge where you are, set a goal, and develop a plan that will help you be successful.

    You are right. This is a lifetime lifestyle. You are going to have ups and down. Don't continue to beat yourself up. Just take it one day at a time. Make today better than yesterday. You did it before; therefore, you have what it takes to do it again.
  • TravisJHunt
    TravisJHunt Posts: 533 Member
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    The best advice, do it for yourself. That's all that matters. Don't beat yourself up over what others thing because no matter how great or bad you do in life, the only person you have to answer to is yourself! People will always judge, but if you can be happy with yourself, you can do anything!
  • pbbananacoffeechocolate
    pbbananacoffeechocolate Posts: 44 Member
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    Your cheerleaders were supporting you because they surely saw how good you felt and how hard you worked. They just care about you and want you to be happy and healthy! I doubt they actually care about how much you weigh, at all. You haven't let them down! Friends cheer each other on in times of success and lift each other up in times of need. You don't have to be successful all the time, how exhausting that would be! Just lean right back on that same wonderful support system that you have as you get back to work. :)
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,590 Member
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    Most people go through times when things go pear shaped and we regain some. Go back to what you did to lose weight before that worked for you. I had put 10 lb back on due to all sorts of moving/house/car fubars when I couldn't get to a gym. I've still got 7 lb to lose back off but at least the process has started.

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