Because I am annoyed - What Is The Point?

LokiGrrl · August 2016

I've been seeing a lot of threads on this forum where people talk about how it was so easy for them to lose weight and there were no issues and it required very few changes and was no challenge and they eat whatever the hell they want and keep losing weight and everything is so goddamn great they're practically living on the moon.

I don't understand the point of posting these threads on the General Diet and Weight Loss Help forum. Perhaps they'd be appropriate for the Success Stories forum? Otherwise, to me, it just seems like crowing about how awesome you are, which is not helpful.

I admit I have a jaundiced eye toward this sort of thing, but I think it's counterproductive, and I don't have a lot of patience for people who post that sort of thing on this particular forum. Possibly I'm just a grumpy *kitten*, and if so I'll STFU, but I'd like to see more general diet and weight loss help.

Qskim · August 2016

I'm grumpy and I can't see it?

kommodevaran · August 2016

Isn't tips and tricks to make losing and maintaining weight easier, helpful? OK, in that case, at least be sure you never google "Yoni Freedhoff + tolerable".

smotheredincheese · August 2016

I don't quite understand what you're annoyed about. Most of the posts on this board are from people who don't find it easy and are looking for help. I haven't seen anyone crowing about how effortless they've found it. Some people do find it easier than others though and I don't see why they should have to pretend otherwise?

Bruja924 · August 2016

smotheredincheese wrote: »

I don't quite understand what you're annoyed about. Most of the posts on this board are from people who don't find it easy and are looking for help. I haven't seen anyone crowing about how effortless they've found it. Some people do find it easier than others though and I don't see why they should have to pretend otherwise?

I've been here about a week now and haven't come across any posts like that! 9/10 I find the folks here are very helpful and willing to help me understand various topics.

sunnybeaches105 · August 2016

I assume people post that because they have found that if they follow the basics (consistent and accurate calorie deficit as calculated by weighing all intake and being honest about one's activity level and conservative with exercise calories) that it works. At least that's why I've said it more than once.

The real challenge is adherence. People have adherence issues for a variety of reasons, such as the difficulty in breaking a lifetime of bad habits or they're using food as an emotional crutch or coping mechanism. The mechanics of weight loss are easy, this part can be much more difficult. I've also said that a number of times.

It's worth "listening" and using such posts as motivation rather than twisting them into criticisms of you. Let people celebrate their successes and work to have your own. After all, this a fitness and diet "community."

yesimpson · August 2016

I think it depends on your lookout. If I want to get better at something, I want people who are already better at it than me to tell me what they do and make it feel easy - if it's easy, I can do it too.

My best friend, on the other hand, would want others to share their similar struggles and reassure her that it is hard and it's fine to find things difficult. That would make me feel a bit negative and wouldn't motivate me, but it works for her.

To be honest, every time I've asked a question I feel I've got a helpful, detailed answer, so I don't really have any issues with the tone of these forums 95% of the time - but that's life, people don't always frame things the way you want, so you just pick out the useful bits and disregard what doesn't work for you.

Ricksh1000 · August 2016

People come here for motivation (i most certainly do).
If someone posts about how well they're doing, then good on them! It's nice to be able to go somewhere with like-minded people with similar challenges giving you some credit. I read about challenges and problems, but likewise i'm happy to read about success wherever it is, it keeps me going.

leanjogreen18 · August 2016

People do come here for motivation and support and its sad in a community where most have struggled with weight to get on here and read some people demean a particular diet, call people names or post snarky comments. OP I'm not talking about you. I think you may just be having a bad day like we all do from time to time.

I think people try to stay positive and don't like to complain about their difficulties. Also it gives some people encouragement to see the "success" of others. Like wow I can do this.

marm1962 · August 2016

I think I know what the OP is talking about. For the longest time I hated coming to the forums and reading "it's all about CICO, it's that easy" UGH! All I could ever say when I read those was (in a nasty little voice), "Well, I'm glad it's soooo easy for you!" or "Bullskit, FU". What I didn't know at the time was that I had an underlying medical condition that was preventing me from losing weight the way it was supposed to work. It is a frame of mind and it is all ours, nothing anyone posts about losing weight is meant to be in a bragging way (except on the success thread, where it should be), but it is how we that have difficulty perceive it to be. It is a classic case of, "It's not you, it's me"

CooCooPuff · August 2016

I started coming to the forums well after i lost a lot of weight, but for me, the general attitude really got me eating closer to what I needed (i was doing a vlc diet at the time) and got me eating foods I would have considered toxic to my efforts.

I love the general positivity tbh

leanjogreen18 · August 2016

One comment about folks saying "they ate whatever they wanted", I wouldn't take it too literally...

1. we don't know what they wanted
2. they more than likely allotted for it in their daily calories like pizza no problem carve out 300 a slice for dinner
3. they didn't say how much they ate of what they wanted, so maybe 5 m&m's not the whole king size bag

4. they maybe just mean they are not restricting any particular food or group

I am guilty of saying that I eat what I wanted on several occasions thinking most people know that I don't eat pizza, pasta, bread and potatoes in unlimited quantities for breakfast, lunch and dinner

. mmmmm I'm making myself hungry.

lemurcat12 · August 2016

No one claims they ate whatever they wanted as in huge amounts of everything every day, and most people who say that assume that part of what is wanted is a healthful balanced diet with vegetables (which I happen to enjoy) and plenty of protein. The misunderstanding that "eating what I like in moderation" means enormous amounts of pizza, beer, and cake every day has always puzzled me. It means don't think that you have to give up these foods forever to lose weight, as many people might decide that if that's the case why bother. Being too restrictive can (for many) serve as a mental stumbling block against weight loss, as is the overall idea that it requires feeling deprived and suffering. That it did not -- that I could feel MORE satisfied with my diet than before focusing on weight loss -- was a wonderful discovery that made losing weight and maintaining seem much more possible, so sure I want to share that.

The "lifestyle change" thread (which I suspect is a target here) also didn't mean what OP seems to think, to my reading.

litsy3 · August 2016

lemurcat12 wrote: »

The "lifestyle change" thread (which I suspect is a target here) also didn't mean what OP seems to think, to my reading.

I thought that thread meant people get encouragement in different ways, some people getting it from knowing they've made a huge change and that they won't accidentally fall back into old ways (and that, yes, it was difficult to do), and others feeling discouraged by that and preferring to think about small manageable adjustments. That thread seemed to me to be calling out for people who think in the second way to offer *that* sort of support. Because if you don't want to think that your whole life is going to have to change, but that's all you see on the forum, it'd be pretty easy to decide it wasn't worth it and give up.

oolou · August 2016

I followed this link from another thread here recently. It may explain why you feel annoyed with certain attitudes. I sympathise. As an abstainer type of person, I can get narked by the moderation type of people. Just as I'm sure they find my way of not being able to eat only a bit of something is bewildering to them.

http://gretchenrubin.com/happiness_project/2012/10/back-by-popular-demand-are-you-an-abstainer-or-a-moderator/

I'd just let it go. They aren't posting to annoy you or crow. They are sharing what works for them. If it doesn't work for you, just move on to another thread.

arditarose · August 2016

I think you're just grumpy but if it makes you feel any better I don't think losing weight is easy (anymore, now that I'm lean). Every day is painful. I think about food constantly. I see almost no loss even when I try hard. I have a small TDEE so I have no wiggle room when it comes to a deficit and it's extremely hard to eat 1600 calories or below when I'm squatting 200lbs and deadlifting up above that. Most days I feel fat, but once in awhile I'll feel lean...just to gain water weight the next day and feel down about myself all over again.

But there's no point for me to make a thread like this. It's why I have friends on here and a coach. I'd rather spread positivity here.

stevencloser · August 2016

It's simple, not easy.
"Eat less than you burn". The one simple truth that everyone trying to lose weight is bound by, regardless of circumstances. This can prove easy for some and hard for others, those others have to find a way of eating that suits them in a way to successfully achieve the simple instruction.

robertw486 · August 2016

Take the input that works for you and might help you. Ignore the rest.

There are a whole lot of ways to lose to maintain weight. MFP and the methods people here use can provide input on differing approaches, some of which might help any person having difficulty.

I can't speak for others, but when I'm not good at any given thing, I want input from people that succeed at that thing, and even more from people that succeed without making it overly complicated or difficult.

kmsnyg · August 2016

I see both sides to this. I do think folks have a habit of saying (and I'm betting these folks fall under the category of not having that much weight to lose compared to say...someone morbidly obese who needs to lose more than a 100 lbs who may have terrible eating habits) that you can still eat your same diet just in moderation, that you don't have to make such big changes. But in the case of someone who is morbidly obese and has a terrible diet, while it is helpful to make small changes, there are A LOT of small changes to make, and the overall process might not feel so easy (especially in the beginning). For me, I had to completely overhaul my diet. I'm trying to learn moderation in small steps, but I have the constant fear that I'll backslide into my old habits (basically, I think I have trigger foods that I can't eat in moderation). Plus, for me, I just don't think fast food and cookies are all that healthy, and I'm trying to live a healthier lifestyle (not implying folks who eat those things can't be healthy, they might not have the same food and health issues I have).

Anyway, when I follow the CICO and macros, the weight falls of me, I lose easily. But I find the mental part very challenging. Hope it gets better for you OP.

JDixon852019 · August 2016

There is definitely a HUGE difference in mentality based on how much you have to loose and how long you have been struggling with it.

However loosing weight does take effort and discipline for anyone working on it. Focus on you. Your own grass will be much greener if you focus on your own lawn rather than be jealous of your neighbors.

AllonsYtotheTardis · August 2016

I'm not sure how getting that annoyed is going to help you.

jld1975 · August 2016

I think we read the same posts yesterday, OP! I was getting that sense, too- too many people saying things like "I lost 100 pounds and I barely did anything different- I don't know what everyone's problem is!" I read a lot and never post, but just wanted to respond because I got that feeling yesterday, too!

Psychgrrl · August 2016

Whether it's weight-loss, relationships or work--we all get a bout of the green-eyed monster at times. It's human, it's what we do. Wanting the success someone else has doesn't make you a bad person, it doesn't make you a failure, it just means you're struggling.

I bet if the "easy weight-loss" people saw your life, they'd find things about you to envy. As with social media, all we see are snapshots that other people choose to let us see. And we all want to look like we have it together, when we are all struggling with things.

Like @arditarose said, I still struggle with how I look, how much I weigh, what size I wear. I "know" I shouldn't, but I do. I'm not always as kind and gentle to myself as I should be--I would NEVER talk to a friend the way I talk to myself. Which is the biggest indicator I should stop it. But it's hard. Living in Southern California (which I love) doesn't make it any easier. But I'm working on it.

Alluminati · August 2016

Sounds like you're being grumpy.

LaceyBirds · August 2016

LokiGrrl wrote: »

I don't understand the point of posting these threads on the General Diet and Weight Loss Help forum.

I've been reading these forums for almost a year and a half, and I absolutely do see the reason they should be posted here. Thread after thread is started by people who have just started, or are well into their weight loss, and they believe that they can't do it, that they don't have the motivation, discipline, knowledge or whatever their particular issue may be to lose weight. For those people, many who have had success losing weight will want to show them that it is actually possible, and not as hard as they may think it is. Many of these people started out thinking and feeling the same way, but discovered, as time went on and they continued to be successful, that the process of losing weight was actually pretty simple - eat less than you burn. Log your food, meet your macros, weigh your food, exercise - whatever has worked for you personally is presented as part of that process that is easier than they thought it would be. A lot of those people, myself included, do try to say that the mechanics of weight loss is quite simple and easy to implement, but weight loss is more than anything a mental game that requires discipline and a whole lot of patience. Reading posts like these was hugely helpful to me in my own weight loss, so absolutely these types of posts belong in this section.

ninerbuff · August 2016

Some things are easy to do for some and not for others. Some suck at math while others see it as easy. Same with science, doing laundry, cleaning the house, cooking, spending time with the kids, etc.
In essence, it's personal viewpoint on whatever they are doing. I find weight lifting fun and challenging where others find it boring. Personally I find spin boring, but that's just my viewpoint.
So really, you just learn to take the good with the bad. That's how life works.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

battyfitch · August 2016

I have seen a couple of posts like that, but I tend to ignore them. I'd rather hear from people who've struggled and got through it instead of from people who found the whole thing a walk in the park. I find the "I'm full on 900 calories, what should I do?!" or the "I'm eating so much but still losing weight, what's going on?!" posts more irksome. Mainly because I don't believe the majority of them are genuine. They come across like weird humble brags. "Look at me, I find this lettuce SOOOOO filling!" Yeah ok. WHERE'S THE EYEROLL EMOJI WHEN I NEED IT?!

cerise_noir · August 2016

I hear ya, but yeah.... Complaining about it doesn't help at all.

I've lost around 90lbs, and yes, I do CICO. Was it easy? Heck no. However, losing weight this time around is easier as I ditched all the silly dieting rules that get passed around. I still have around 50 to go and it is getting harder, for sure.

Do I struggle? Absolutely. Every day.

LokiGrrl · August 2016

Yeah there was no particular thread actually, and I'm not having a particularly hard time right now. Pretty sure I was just grumpy and had my "posts I hate" glasses on. LOL.

zoeysasha37 · August 2016

Maybe it's your outlook that needs to change?
Jealousy is counterproductive anyway.

AnnPT77 · August 2016

I suspect I'm guilty of saying it's easy, in a couple of very specific contexts, in General Diet & Weight Loss.

One is the people who post "I'm hypothyroid/menopausal/'older' and I've heard it's terribly difficult for us, or even impossible". Because I am hypothyroid/menopausal/60, I tend to say things like "I found it reasonably easy (no harder than anyone else AFAIK."

The other is people who have been here only briefly, have gotten all flustered/confused, and are ready to give up, saying things like "It's just too complicated: I don't know how to pick an activity level, do I have to exercise, how do I figure out my macros (and what they heck are they), I don't think I can give up sweets (or fries, or pizza, or . . . ) forever . . . .".

In these cases, I'm sure I've said "You don't have to do it all at once. It can be easy if you do it gradually: Just log what you eat now. Review your diary. Reduce things that have too many calories for their tastiness/nutrition/satiation. Worry about the rest later."

OP, you make a good point, if what we're trying to do is communicate with diverse people in a supportive way. "Easy" has several meanings and various implications. When speaking informally, it can be the opposite of both "difficult" and "complicated" (among others). I'll try to keep this idea in my head, for the future.

Good point by someone up above, about "simple" vs. "easy" - a useful distinction I first heard years back from my kung fu teacher.

That said, I also agree with those who encourage readers to glean the useful points from posts, strive not to be reflexively symbol-reactive about word choices, and simply ignore people who're being snarky for their own amusement or self-aggrandizement.

Because I am annoyed - What Is The Point?

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