I'm starting to struggle!

battyfitch · August 2016

I have ALWAYS been fat. ALWAYS. For various different reasons, food became an emotional crutch and I never learned to give it up.

So, here I am. I'm 29 and I'm the heaviest I have ever been. Well - not quite! I joined MFP at the heaviest I've ever been and now I'm 17lbs lighter.

I have no intentions of giving up, but it's starting to become a bit... I dunno. Frustrating? It's a constant internal battle of wills. I haven't felt full since I started. It's not that I'm hungry - because I'm not - but I'm just not used to having limits on what I can eat. How sad, right?

Last week I went over my calories a couple of times and then binged on Sunday night. I was over my weekly calories by about 3500 - though my weekly deficit is 7000. This week has been better, but if I stick to what I've prelogged for tomorrow I'll still be over my weekly calories by about 500-750.

I've lost 17lbs since July 1st - actually, it's 19lbs but those extra 2lbs won't count until my weigh in on Monday morning - though I know for my size that my losses could be better.

Does anyone have any tips for keeping to their calorie goal? I'm not looking for a whole bunch of "I've never had a problem sticking to my goal" responses, I want to hear from people who've struggled or still struggle to keep within their limits.

Sorry for the long ramble.

liznotyet · August 2016

Add vegetables, add exercise, before you try to take anything away. Budget high calorie days into your long term plan. Prioritize which high calorie foods are really worth it, because they likely are not all equally giving you enjoyment. Identify trigger foods and trigger situations where you always overeat, and try to restructure your response to those.
You are on the right track to be conscious!

middlehaitch · August 2016

Take a step back and change your goal to 1 lbs a week. Once you can handle that lower to 1.5 then 2 if apropriate.

I know it is hard thinking you will be losing slower but, at the moment, you are finding 2 lbs a week too restrictive. Wouldn't it be better to have a higher calorie goal where if you wish you can eat 250 less a day.

Eating more veg is great, you can fill up on a lot of veg without all the calories. Salads are my go to- they take time to eat and fill me up. Bolthouse do tasty low calorie dressings if you like to use them.

Cheers, h.

Madelinec117 · August 2016

I agree with what had been suggested thus far. It takes a while to adjust and fine the foods which will sustain you until the next meal/snack. You could even try looking some diaries that are open for food suggestion. Protein and vegetables will help sustain you because they take longer for the body to digest and also don't give you that insulin spike. Chicken breast,eggs, oatmeal, are other food which may help you during this journey. Some people have open diaries and you can look at them for ideas as well.

B4Rachael · August 2016

When you eat try to make sure that 50% of what you are eating is a healthy low calorie food. This will fill you up faster. Try to eat some sort of protein with each meal to keep you full longer.
Also if you have a food that you know you can't eat "just one" of; try to not have that trigger food in your home. As an example: I don't have chocolate chip cookies in my house because saying "just one" will not work and I will end up eating them all in a short period of time - so instead I will have my least favorite if I am craving a cookie, this way my craving will be satisfied & I won't eat them all.

capaul42 · August 2016

It's very easy for me to binge on certain foods. And admittedly, I do still have them in my house. Chips are especially hard for me as I crave salt. I found a lower calorie alternative which I love the taste of. So instead of eating a whole large bag of ruffles, I now have 28-35g of orville redenbachers sweet and salty popcorn chips. We still have ruffles in the house, but these aren't mine. So I won't eat them.

Perhaps you need to look at the why. Why do you binge eat these foods? Removing them from the house until you get a handle on things is a great suggestion (i had to do that for awhile). But figure out why too. My why was boredom really. I would sit on the couch and eat a whole bag while watching TV at night. Once I realised that, I started finding things to do, even if it was just cleaning the house. I'd go for a walk, clean, workout, maybe go window shopping at the mall. Even just come on here and read some success stories.

amusedmonkey · August 2016

I have some days like that. When I do I set my weight loss to 1 pound, if that doesn't work, to 1/2 a pound, if that doesn't work to maintenance. You don't need to lose consistently to succeed, all is needed is to lose sometimes without gaining it back. Even if it takes you a whole year to lose 20 pounds that's still better than not losing at all (or worse, gaining). It does get kind of easier with time. You build new habits and instead of juggling 10 bad habits through sheer willpower you will only need to juggle 9, then 8, then 7... It never goes totally away, but it does get easier with time.

I did pick up a few tricks. When I miss the feeling of being very full I drink a couple of cups of water before a meal, If I'm going for broke I also have a large green salad and/or brothy soup before a meal. Skipping meals also works for me sometimes, allowing me to have twice the calories in one meal. I have employed intermittent fasting where I eat 800 calories one day and my maintenance (or more) the next. It's very hard at first but then it was like magic to me, like I did not feel hungry at all on 800 calorie days after a couple of weeks. A lot of walking also helps to give extra calories. Saving calories on less noticeable things like using slightly less oil in your dish or switching to 2% then 1% milk. Brain tricks like smaller plates, tall thin glasses, hiding higher calorie foods in places that require effort to reach, smaller family serving bowls (the portion you take makes a visible dent in the remaining food in the bowl which makes you mindful of your intake)...etc.

Different things work at different times for me. I also tried very low carbing, did not work for me but might for you. Whenever you read anything you find mildly interesting on the forums, try it out, if it doesn't work just toss it aside and move on to the next thing. With time you will build an arsenal of what works and what doesn't.

I still miss that food innocence and ignorance that comes with mindless eating, but I have come to accept that it's no longer an option.

LazSommer · August 2016

It's a psychological game. If you're struggling, a 2lb deficit might be too hard mentally. Drop to a lb a week and see if you can coast on that until a larger deficit seems reasonable.

tequila5000 · August 2016

Congratulations on the 17 pounds lost! It's hard to stay within your goal sometimes, I know! The previous posters have given good advice and comments. Here are some of the things that work for me.

I would try to figure out some lower calorie (yet still satisfying) substitutions.

If I really want something In particular but it just is too hard to fit in today's calorie goal, I will tell myself that i will have it tomorrow. And many times, by the time tomorrow rolls around, the desire has passed and I don't really want it anymore. But if I still want, I will have some. some. Not all of it.

For me, I figured out that while watching TV, the commercials were a huge trigger for me. At every commercial break I would get up and go look for "a little something" which often led to going over my calorie goal. Usually now I record a show an then skip thru the commercials, or I watch stuff on Netflix. It worked for me.

Also, I didn't want to feel super deprived so I never set myself to a 2 pounds/week loss goal. I like to eat! So I did 1 pound at first, and then switched it .5 pound/week. I've been using MFP for several years now, on and off, and I'm down 50 pounds.

You can do this. Start creating your "toolkit" of what works for you. It will take some trial and error, and some reflection and introspection, and probably also asking your family/friends/support structure for help. And in the long run, you can do it and it will be all worth it. Stay the course, and even baby steps will get you there!

battyfitch · August 2016

Thanks for the advice, people.

I tend to think my diet is pretty well rounded, but looking back I could definitely do better with the fruits & veggies, and could definitely benefit from swapping some of the higher calorie snacks for something more substantial size-wise. Hopefully that'll help, so I'll keep a check on that next week for sure.

I like the intermittent fasting idea too. I might try that next week, keeping the 2lb a week deficit, and if I still struggle I will drop the deficit to 1.5lbs and see if that helps.

I don't have a time frame to lose the weight so I'm not too worried about the losses slowing down a bit - I would rather have slow losses than slow gains!

Thanks again.

kommodevaran · August 2016

Maybe you could think about it like this - that you have always had limits - you have just exceeded them, consistently, and thus gotten overweight. We aren't supposed to feel full all the time, but it's also normal to find the sensation of hunger uncomfortable, in fact...

In order to carry out the processes that keep your body alive, your body needs to be fed (given fuel). Thus, your body is in a continual state of hunger which can be quickly relieved by eating. Having food present in your GI tract neutralizes the feeling of hunger which helps you to feel calm both physically and emotionally. Once your body metabolizes this food and utilizes it to carry out the functions that it needs to survive, you feel hungry again and it’s time to eat. Simple. But not really, right?

http://bingeeatingtherapy.com/tag/real-hunger-vs-false-hunger/ - it was linked in here and I found it really interesting and finally an answer to why I'm so occupied with food all the time even though I'm surrounded by it 24/7 and never starve myself (anymore).

kommodevaran · August 2016

In addition to my previous post - while it's normal to find the sensation of hunger uncomfortable, it can also feel good, as long as you are certain that you are going to be fed soon. Having a good meal plan, and aiming to follow it, and a well stocked kitchen can alleviate some of that anxiety. But it may never totally leave, if you have been starving, either by eating too few calories, or getting too little of one or more nutrients. Long term effect of "voluntarily" starving oneself in an environment abundant with delicious and easily accessible foods, will be even harder to deal with.

Seffell · August 2016

I support the idea of dropping the deficit. At least for now. Good job so far!

amusedmonkey · August 2016

One more thing I do when I'm not in the mood to focus on dieting or when I'm busy with other things is to have a "relaxed diet", that is: the only rule is to not go over maintenance unless it's well planned for. I just set my calorie goal to maintain and eat to desire with just mindful general watching and some minor tweaking to my habits and let my calories fall where they may, trying to make generally lower calorie choices without pushing it and eating more of the things I know from experience fill me up. Some days I end up with no deficit, other days I end up with 1500 deficit or more depending on my appetite for the day. Even if I had more of the former and none of the latter for a while, I just consider it a break.

I once knowingly maintained for a full 8 months before I resumed dieting. I have been dieting for 3 years and barely have 100 lbs to show for it between losing and maintaining (and gaining 30 back once after I quit smoking and decided to stop watching my intake all together, big mistake, but that's a story for another thread). 3 years or not, I'm two thirds of the way to my goal, and that's some serious progress!

Taking breaks does not mean you completely stop working on your eating habits. You gotta do whatever it takes to make the process easier for you and keep collecting useful tools and applying minor tweaks to your habits. Believe it or not, one of the hardest habits I'm proud to announce completely gone is eating food I didn't like just because it's there, and that helped me save quite a few calories along the way. Now this particular part feels effortless, as if I have always eaten only foods I like. Tackle one bad habit at a time so you don't get overwhelmed (which beats the point of a relaxed diet). Even if you get rid of just one bad habit, that's a victory!

Francl27 · August 2016

Yep - change your goal to 1 lb a week. I never picked more than that and it wasn't too bad. And make sure to exercise and be active too so you can eat more.

Even if you're over by 700, you still have enough of a deficit to lose at least half a pound.. so just don't sweat it.

kazz882 · August 2016

I just take each day as it comes tbh! I have a lot to lose, and I never got this size overnight so wont get rid of the flab overnight either! first time ever diet/ lifestyle change, whatever you want to call it started in March,down 34 pounds now and another 50-60? to go!
I'm not stressing myself out over it though, if I want a packet of crisps/ bar of chocolate I have it, the difference is I am not eating family size portions now!
I truly think you have to be in the right frame of mind to lose weight, it just so happens it took me until my 40's to get there , good luck and dont be too hard on yourself!

spring913 · August 2016

I struggled at a 2lb deficit as well. I dropped my calorie goal to 1.5lbs and it made all the difference in the world! It gives me the freedom to eat a little more and I'm consistently loosing. Do you exercise? While not necessary for weight loss, those extra bit of calories from cardio does give a bit of extra room to eat more.

I eat what I want, and still eat the same foods I did before I started loosing. I eat healthy, I always have, I just ate too much and being a cook would take bites of food all day. 3 squares of dark chocolate every day now, instead of a whole bar of milk chocolate, small changes like that make a huge difference and I don't feel deprived.

lthames0810 · August 2016

OP, I read your whole post but I went back to your first paragraph about the emotional eating. Each of us has had a different path to becoming overweight. I believe that our unique path holds the clue for solving our problem.

I'm an emotional / stress eater too. That's the thing that led me to obesity. I know that it requires an immense effort of will to stick to your calorie goal consistently over a long enough period of time to lose significant weight while battling strong emotional forces every single day. Then, of course you have to keep fighting to maintain your losses. It's an awful lot to ask of anyone.

I recently lost my job I've had for 24 years. I loved that job and the people there. One would expect that to cause even greater stress and emotions but just the opposite has occurred. Since that time, I have not had a single despair binge and for the first time in decades I'm easily eating at a deficit. I had not even realized how much that job was sucking the life out of me, although the binges should have been a clue.

My suggestion to you is to dig down into the feelings that lead you to overeat inspite of your strong desire to lose weight. I discovered mine entirely by accident, but yours may require some hard soul searching and making courageous changes, perhaps even with the help of a counselor. It's hard to make progress while dragging an anchor.

melissa6771 · August 2016

Well, if you started July 1, and have loatn19 pounds, you are losing 2.7 pounds a week! That's a lot. Why not move your deficit to 1.5 pounds/week and use exercise to fill in any more you would like to lose, or to add extra calories if you are still hungry. Find foods that make you feel satisfied. You shouldn't feel full, but necessarily hungry either. I never really feel full or hungry, I eat a balance of carbs and protein at each meal. This helps keep me until the next meal and keeps my blood sugar in check. Feel free to look through my diary and to add me as a friend. Wednesday will be 23 weeks for me, I am down 51.5 pounds so far.

stephenhopkins2 · August 2016

So im sitting here at my heaviest ever also. Im currently 150kg or around 24 stone, I have struggled with diets for years and always end up losing 5kg then putting 10 back on, this time im determined to lose weight for my children. My weight is getting to the point where if it doesnt stop ill die. I think thats the thing thats going to keep me going this time.

Im only 2 weeks in and i know im not hungry because im able to eat enough and stay below my calories but i constantly feel hungry because im having cravings. Its hard but i think you have to look at the overall prize, also 19lb is awesome, keep it up

meritage4 · August 2016

step one change your avatar to something supportive
step 2 celebrate 17 lbs gone since July 1st is amazing progress
Step 3 just continue doing what you have been it is working!
Step 4 Be patient You are getting smaller this is YUR journey stop comparing yourself to others. You've got this.

I'm starting to struggle!

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