Fed up of being tall and broad!

sophie_gets_strong
sophie_gets_strong Posts: 7 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I know. I can't change those things about me. But I really do feel fed up! No matter how much weight I lose I still feel like a giant compared to everyone else. 6ft tall and built like a football player, I don't think I'll ever be able to feel sexy or girly or cute.

How do I become happy in my own skin? I want to love my body but don't know how.

Replies

  • bioklutz
    bioklutz Posts: 1,365 Member
    Focus on the positive things about your height.

    I am 5 feet tall. That *kitten* on the top shelf - I can't reach it. All the cute long dresses that would look glorious on you? I look like I am a kid playing dress up in them. At the movie movie theater? You will not have to worry that at the last minute someone will sit in front of you and you won't be able to see. You can probably drive any car you want because you will always reach the pedals without having to be to close to the steering wheel. I could go on and on but there are many great things about being tall that you probably never thought about!
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    I'm not as tall as you, but I do have a large frame, and usually felt wrong with guys close to my height. My solution was to get engaged to a man a foot taller than me :dizzy: We met on OKCupid.

    I could live in flannel and sneakers, but my OH appreciates a more girlie look, and has better fashion sense than I do, so takes me shopping. I also got help with makeup from the staff at Ulta.

    When I was a kid, I was teased about my big feet, but learned to appreciate them when I took up yoga and started doing balancing poses.
  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    I'm not as tall as you, but I do have a large frame, and usually felt wrong with guys close to my height. My solution was to get engaged to a man a foot taller than me :dizzy: We met on OKCupid.

    I could live in flannel and sneakers, but my OH appreciates a more girlie look, and has better fashion sense than I do, so takes me shopping. I also got help with makeup from the staff at Ulta.

    When I was a kid, I was teased about my big feet, but learned to appreciate them when I took up yoga and started doing balancing poses.

    My friend is 6" tall and wears a size 12 shoe, she kills it in water polo!!
  • tanny684
    tanny684 Posts: 196 Member
    sophie_gets_strong wrote: »
    I know. I can't change those things about me. But I really do feel fed up! No matter how much weight I lose I still feel like a giant compared to everyone else. 6ft tall and built like a football player, I don't think I'll ever be able to feel sexy or girly or cute.

    How do I become happy in my own skin? I want to love my body but don't know how.
    sophie_gets_strong wrote: »
    I know. I can't change those things about me. But I really do feel fed up! No matter how much weight I lose I still feel like a giant compared to everyone else. 6ft tall and built like a football player, I don't think I'll ever be able to feel sexy or girly or cute.

    How do I become happy in my own skin? I want to love my body but don't know how.
    sophie_gets_strong wrote: »
    I know. I can't change those things about me. But I really do feel fed up! No matter how much weight I lose I still feel like a giant compared to everyone else. 6ft tall and built like a football player, I don't think I'll ever be able to feel sexy or girly or cute.

    How do I become happy in my own skin? I want to love my body but don't know how.
    sophie_gets_strong wrote: »
    I know. I can't change those things about me. But I really do feel fed up! No matter how much weight I lose I still feel like a giant compared to everyone else. 6ft tall and built like a football player, I don't think I'll ever be able to feel sexy or girly or cute.

    How do I become happy in my own skin? I want to love my body but don't know how.
    sophie_gets_strong wrote: »
    I know. I can't change those things about me. But I really do feel fed up! No matter how much weight I lose I still feel like a giant compared to everyone else. 6ft tall and built like a football player, I don't think I'll ever be able to feel sexy or girly or cute.

    How do I become happy in my own skin? I want to love my body but don't know how.
    sophie_gets_strong wrote: »
    I know. I can't change those things about me. But I really do feel fed up! No matter how much weight I lose I still feel like a giant compared to everyone else. 6ft tall and built like a football player, I don't think I'll ever be able to feel sexy or girly or cute.

    How do I become happy in my own skin? I want to love my body but don't know how.

  • sophie_gets_strong
    sophie_gets_strong Posts: 7 Member
    That's a good idea! I always vowed I'd marry a man taller than me, but fell in love with a younger, shorter guy haha. What could I do? But I still really struggle with my own self-love. Now I have two baby girls and I would hate for them to grow up seeing how I feel about myself! I want them to love their bodies and love themselves for who they are. Just wish I could love myself in the journey rather than trying to hate myself healthier! Sounds crazy I know.
  • SophieSmall95
    SophieSmall95 Posts: 233 Member
    Learn to appreciate that all shapes and sizes are beautiful. You're like an amazonian woman, who are considered incredibly beautiful.

    I've been there myself in feeling like my size is not good enough. I'm 4ft 9 and I've had my fair share of feeling like I can't be sexy or beautiful at this size and equated to a child. But I can, and so can you.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    queenliz99 wrote: »
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    I'm not as tall as you, but I do have a large frame, and usually felt wrong with guys close to my height. My solution was to get engaged to a man a foot taller than me :dizzy: We met on OKCupid.

    I could live in flannel and sneakers, but my OH appreciates a more girlie look, and has better fashion sense than I do, so takes me shopping. I also got help with makeup from the staff at Ulta.

    When I was a kid, I was teased about my big feet, but learned to appreciate them when I took up yoga and started doing balancing poses.

    My friend is 6" tall and wears a size 12 shoe, she kills it in water polo!!

    OP - how about joining an adult sports league? For example, volleyball at the Y? Or whatever you like. If you have a smidgen of talent you'll be very much in demand and if you have no talent you could still have fun :)
  • tanny684
    tanny684 Posts: 196 Member
    I feel your pain. I'm only 5ft 6 but 5ft 7-8 in flats, and built like a linebacker. I work with a lot of 5ft nothing 100lb girls and spend most of my time feeling like a beast.

    The only thing I would say is... Look at the positives. I have a 5ft friend and her arms and legs are so short she always looks a bit chubby even when she's not. You will carry your weight a lot better than someone shorter....people refuse to believe I weigh what I do and will even bet me money that I don't. Physically you're more capable and you're more visible when you're tall. I'm about 5ft 10 in heels....so eye line to most guys and get by far and away much more attention that my shorter friends.

    Being heavy and tall can make you feel huge but being skinny and tall will make you elegant and graceful. My sister is 5ft 10 and very slim and she's absolutely beautiful, graceful and gazelle like.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    sophie_gets_strong wrote: »
    I know. I can't change those things about me. But I really do feel fed up! No matter how much weight I lose I still feel like a giant compared to everyone else. 6ft tall and built like a football player, I don't think I'll ever be able to feel sexy or girly or cute.

    How do I become happy in my own skin? I want to love my body but don't know how.

    I agree that you will have to focus on the positives of your body. Find clothes that flatter you. Enjoy the benefits of your size.
    Women come in all shapes and sizes. If you were smaller you'd probably wish you were taller or had a different shape too. We don't automatically feel sexy, girly or cute just because we are shorter or thinner. The petite girl you would like to be has plenty of things she dislikes that she can't change either.
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    I am girly small, but do not dress like it or even care to be that girly and cute.. When I put on a dress or even something moderately dressed up, I am out of my element.. I actually aspire to be bigger.

    Sure putting on some girly clothes or even the thinking that you can get down to a body that you aspire to be, but is this something you can set a goal for or is that goal you want or achievable?

    Embrace your best version of your self, wear it proud and speak loud! Its all in the presence of self esteem, self confidence and how you present yourself that resonates with the outside world, not how you look on the outside, or how small you are, how girly or cute you are.. Being happy in your own skin is all in the "frame of mind"..
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    tanny684 wrote: »
    I feel your pain. I'm only 5ft 6 but 5ft 7-8 in flats, and built like a linebacker. I work with a lot of 5ft nothing 100lb girls and spend most of my time feeling like a beast.

    The only thing I would say is... Look at the positives. I have a 5ft friend and her arms and legs are so short she always looks a bit chubby even when she's not. You will carry your weight a lot better than someone shorter....people refuse to believe I weigh what I do and will even bet me money that I don't. Physically you're more capable and you're more visible when you're tall. I'm about 5ft 10 in heels....so eye line to most guys and get by far and away much more attention that my shorter friends.

    Being heavy and tall can make you feel huge but being skinny and tall will make you elegant and graceful. My sister is 5ft 10 and very slim and she's absolutely beautiful, graceful and gazelle like.

    Yup, my skinny clothes are my 5'2" small-framed friend's fat clothes. People have refused to believe my weight as well.
  • jwcanfield
    jwcanfield Posts: 192 Member
    Not as tall as you, but have faced the same physical problem (broad/muscular) since a teenager. Once was told (in high school) that "too bad you're a girl cause we need you on the football team"! I was crushed cause that was when I was fairly slender! Anyway, as time went by learned that I could use my physique to appear stronger, more confident, more capable that I actually was - a very good thing in a competitive workplace! So stand tall and fake it when you're not happy in your skin. Even if you don't love your body, fake it til you make it - no one else will ever know and eventually you'll grow into the role you're playing! I'm in my 60s now and love it that I'm a strong woman.
  • sophie_gets_strong
    sophie_gets_strong Posts: 7 Member
    kshama2001 wrote: »

    OP - how about joining an adult sports league? For example, volleyball at the Y? Or whatever you like. If you have a smidgen of talent you'll be very much in demand and if you have no talent you could still have fun :)

    That's a great idea! I used to play tennis, badminton and volleyball a few years ago but stopped as I gained the weight as was just too embarrassed. I think I'll ask around and try get something together. :)
  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
    sophie_gets_strong wrote: »
    kshama2001 wrote: »

    OP - how about joining an adult sports league? For example, volleyball at the Y? Or whatever you like. If you have a smidgen of talent you'll be very much in demand and if you have no talent you could still have fun :)

    That's a great idea! I used to play tennis, badminton and volleyball a few years ago but stopped as I gained the weight as was just too embarrassed. I think I'll ask around and try get something together. :)

    You absolutely should, rock it girlie!!
  • daniip_la
    daniip_la Posts: 678 Member
    I'm the same height as you, but I've always loved my height. I can reach everything my short family members can't, I can find people in crowds, I can do so many things that my shorter friends can't do.

    Think about how awesome you are and how well we tall people can carry our weight!
  • kermax39
    kermax39 Posts: 149 Member
    Im 5'11 and at my heaviest was 17 stone 10lbs. I struggled with those feelings of bein the big heffalump amongst my petite friends, im 40 now though, and with age comes an acceptance of oneself, at least of the things that u cant change anyway... like height.
    My weight was something that could be changed though. Over the past 20 years iv been every size from a UK size 12 to a 20, this time iv lost 41lbs so far (my goal is 60lbs).
    I lost this weight for health reasons, I.have different priorities these days and its not so much about how I look to others but how I feel physically.

  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    i would honestly suggest speaking to a therapist. you seem to be focused on changing things about yourself that you can't change. you should probably first start understanding why you have those feelings about your body in the first place.

  • SCoil123
    SCoil123 Posts: 2,111 Member
    I can relate. I'm not super tall but I am very muscular for a woman and larger frame. I developed an eating disorder as an adolescent because I wanted to be a size 0-2 like the other girls at my school but it was never gonna happen.

    I've gotten therapy around my body image issues and today I'm learning to love my body type. Its a process. My goal today is to be healthy and strong, not skinny. I want to be in my healthy weight range of 145-165 and get my body fat percentage down below 25%. Setting obtainable goals has helped me a lot.
  • clicketykeys
    clicketykeys Posts: 6,577 Member
    Taking a dance class helped me learn to feel more feminine. Now I stand even taller!
  • vespiquenn
    vespiquenn Posts: 1,455 Member
    edited August 2016
    Not quite 6' but 5'9", and I have beyond broad shoulders. I used to be really self-concious of this. Add in a deep voice as a female and being another "one of the guys," I felt far from feminine.

    Sometimes, you gotta fake it to make it. I started doing small things like wearing jewelry and make up as I worked on the self-esteem piece of the puzzle. Personally, that helped me, but I believe it was just linked to taking care of myself rather than the act of make up and such. However, during what I all my awkward phase, I tried to identify what I did line about myself. It started small, that I liked my nose, and continued to move to bigger and better things about myself, including what I could not change.

    I still wish my shoulders weren't as broad, but I realize now that there isn't a damn thing I can do to change it. I'd rather focus that energy on something more positive. I think that with time and some dedicated reworking of negative thoughts, you will get there.
  • nowine4me
    nowine4me Posts: 3,985 Member
    ^^ Vespi - it's so funny our self-perceptions. I'm 5-7, would say average frame and my goal in working with a trainer is to build large shoulders. I think they look so awesome in halter tops and make your waist look smaller.
  • vespiquenn
    vespiquenn Posts: 1,455 Member
    nowine4me wrote: »
    ^^ Vespi - it's so funny our self-perceptions. I'm 5-7, would say average frame and my goal in working with a trainer is to build large shoulders. I think they look so awesome in halter tops and make your waist look smaller.

    Haha it is funny! I will admit that now I love the muscle I'm building in my arms and shoulders. But then again, I have legs that basically go on forever and barely a waist, so I don't want attention on that. :lol:

    Maybe that's what did it. Once I fell in l with weight lifting, I wasn't too concerned about looking masculine. Instead, I felt pretty badass.

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