Giving Gifts: No Acknowledgement in Return?

MissO﹠A
MissO﹠A Posts: 906 Member
edited September 2024 in Chit-Chat
How would you deal with this situation or resolve it to yourself? ...

On every birthday and Christmas, I send my brother's son a gift. On a few occasions now, I've not received any word of thanks. Mind you, I'm not talking a "thank you card" -- even a quick email or note on FB would suffice. Hell, even knowing they received it would be nice. Which brings me to this:

Most recently they had another baby, so I sent a couple of gifts which I thought they'd appreciate and put some thought into. Now, I realize all that comes with a new baby and how busy and hectic life becomes. Anyhow, I was curious if the gift had arrived so after receiving a generic "how are ya?" message from the SIL on Facebook, I replied asking her if she'd got the package. No response. I wasn't exactly saying, "Hey, kiss my *kitten* and say thanks for the gift." I was honestly wanting to know if they got the package. She's been on and posted a slew of times since I sent her the private message. Then I spoke to my brother recently and couldn't bring it up on the phone as he had me on speakerphone with the SIL there in the room; he made no mention of the gift. I'd thought of sending him an email but they share an email (what the hell?) and didn't want to appear awkward. Ugh.

What would you do? Let it go? I know what the evil b*tch in me wants to do, but thought I'd seek a different perspective. ;)

Replies

  • Jenscan
    Jenscan Posts: 694 Member
    Ugh, that's just rude! You're very nice to send thoughtful gifts and then nothing in return!

    I think what I would do in this situation is let it go, and then discontinue sending gifts. A nice card will do just fine. If they don't have the courtesy to even acknowledge you, I certainly wouldn't want to go through the effort. I may not have the right answer here, so if I'm being a b**** then ignore me! LOL :)
  • skittybang
    skittybang Posts: 1,525 Member
    No way ! I have a problem with making everyone around me do what I want. So I'll confront my siblings and also try to teach them proper etiquette in the process. I don't know, he's your brother, you should have free rein of what you can say! And the SIL, just make it an added "welcome to the family." lol, I know I didn't help! haha!!
  • cjjones007
    cjjones007 Posts: 602
    I let it go... I've had to learn to do that - I basically have to decide if I care how they react to it - or if I care about being a giving person...

    If that doesn't work... send the present to me and I'll fawn over you completely ;)

    Hugs hon
  • JDMPWR
    JDMPWR Posts: 1,863 Member
    Stop sending or giving gifts. They will soon realize and if not then it saves you the money that they don't seem to notice that you spend on them.
  • rissyroo2002
    rissyroo2002 Posts: 71 Member
    They are wrong not to take a minute out of their day and send you a quick thank you. You need to decide if this all worth a family feud or to just let it go. I would call my brother again and ask if they received the gift, just wondering.
  • anthony438
    anthony438 Posts: 578 Member
    I'm not sure if my solution is the right one.

    I mean, is it even possible to FedEx a flaming bag of dog poop?
  • EmilyQC
    EmilyQC Posts: 69 Member
    Maybe skip the next holiday or birthday that comes by and see if they react. If they don't care I'd stop sending things and move on. Maybe just send cards instead to let them know your thinking of them but not going out of your way to buy something.
  • kimmerroze
    kimmerroze Posts: 1,330 Member
    Just quit sending presents. Consider your job done...You tried... you can only give and give so much... just think at what that present money could buy you.. a new work out outfit perhaps? a work out dvd? a month or two gym fee??


    Better spend it on someone who will appreciate it... I. E. YOU! lol :happy:
  • rubyrenga
    rubyrenga Posts: 402 Member
    I don't know what to do here, because I recently dealt with a similar situation with my sister and her kids. It was very hurtful. I didn't hear anything from her when I sent the baby a gift (we are not speaking and I figured it was just because the baby can't call me himself, although I thought she should have acknowledged it). Soon after, sent a grad gift to my nephew and finally texted him to ask if he'd gotten it, and he said how great it was, he meant to call, etc. Then when I sent my niece a b-day gift and heard nothing, I left my sis a msg to ask why I hadn't gotten a call, and her response was to have my niece call me. It's not the same (or comfortable) if you have to ask for a thank you. I know what you mean, you don't want a big to-do over the gift you sent, but wtf? It takes time and care (not to mention $) to give a gift, so some type of acknowledgment is certainly not too much to ask! Good luck.
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    Anthony you just caused me to snort and spray coke zero on my desk. Thanks a LOT.
  • MissO﹠A
    MissO﹠A Posts: 906 Member
    I'm not sure if my solution is the right one.

    I mean, is it even possible to FedEx a flaming bag of dog poop?

    I love you. XD *calls FedEx to check*

    Thanks for the replies, folks. I'm trying to be the "bigger person" here and not do something petty. Although, I've stopped sending either of them cards much less presents a long time ago but thought I shouldn't be an arsehole to my nephew just because his parents are rude sh*theels.
  • bunchesonothing
    bunchesonothing Posts: 1,015 Member
    If you sent it on facebook's messenger, she might not have gotten it. That thing is as quirky as hell.

    EDIT: It has petered out on me in the middle of conversations

    I'd also be more direct, in person or directly to her while talking to her on the phone. Some people don't get anything but direct. A simple, "Did you get my package. I hope you all like it!" would probably work.

    A thank you is nice, but sometimes I know I have too much going on and things slip my mind that shouldn't. If I'm doing anything nice for someone, I don't EXPECT anyone else to be different on mind slippage.

    Besides, anything could have happened.

    If you were checking up to see if she had gotten it, if she hadn't, she wouldn't exactly know to let you know that...
  • dawnrenee567
    dawnrenee567 Posts: 292 Member
    As they're children, I say give the gifts and chalk it up to poor social skills on the parents.

    My oldest godson is 19, I have always given him fab birthday and Christmas gifts. Once he turned 18 and was out of my Aunt's 'rules' he stopped acknowledging them.. So I stopped giving them. I work hard for my money and for someone to not take the time to say Thank You, to me, shows they don't really care. Especially with Facebook, Text Messages, emails. There's really no excuse.
  • luckygirl7676
    luckygirl7676 Posts: 1
    if i was really in this situation i would deff ask them about it but i would recommend stop sending presents and maybe just start sending cards there is no reason they cant take 2 seconds out of there day to type u a short thank you
  • Laurayinz
    Laurayinz Posts: 930 Member
    I mean, is it even possible to FedEx a flaming bag of dog poop?
    At least you'd get a signature of acknowledgement! :laugh:
  • RoadDog
    RoadDog Posts: 2,946 Member
    I rarely give gifts because of Xmas, birthdays, etc. I'm one of those people that sees something, thinks of someone and buys it for them. Spur of the moment. Wife takes care of "event oriented" gift giving.

    If I see something and think of you, I will buy it. You may not get anything on your anniversary, but I might come by with a gift some Wednesday, because it seemed perfect at the time. I guess I'm selfish, cuz it makes me feel good.

    Don't think of the thanks I might get, which is a good thing, cuz the younger generation is less involved in manners and such protocol anyways. The days of "Thank you" letters is falling by the wayside. Too bad.
  • RoadDog
    RoadDog Posts: 2,946 Member
    Oh and in addition. Only women think about making a list of who they have to buy trinkets for while on vacation. I saved up to spend on me and mine while on vacation.
  • angryguy77
    angryguy77 Posts: 836 Member
    Send him a box of thank you cards for his next gift.
  • Zeromilediet
    Zeromilediet Posts: 787 Member
    How about the next and last gift be an etiquette book? Haha!

    Seriously, people like this are beyond selfish; the smartest thing anyone can do is send a thank you card or note. Each of us has someone to be thankful to everyday and the most successful people know when you do something for others it all comes back someday ... A thank you card is the smallest gesture with the biggest result.
  • lil_pulp
    lil_pulp Posts: 701 Member
    As they're children, I say give the gifts and chalk it up to poor social skills on the parents.

    Exactly. I don't know if you mentioned how old the older kid is (and I hate that I can't see the original post right now to check), but if he's old enough to write, even barely, then in your next gift to him--or better yet, when you see him next--give him a box of thank you cards and some stamps. Let him know that when he gets a gift, the polite thing to do is let the giver know he got it and to thank them. And it's okay to let him know that sometimes people stop giving gifts when they aren't thanked for ones they've given in the past.

    Edit: OK, someone just gave this same advice. Great minds...
This discussion has been closed.

Categories