Separation issues

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asoule9
asoule9 Posts: 13 Member
in Chit-Chat
Recently separated from my husband which makes it difficult to eat. The pain is unbearable. Anyone have any tips to get past this painful time

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  • leanjogreen18
    leanjogreen18 Posts: 2,492 Member
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    I'm sorry you are going through this painful period. I have no wise or sage words that would make it better. I think you just go through it and come out the other side.

    I do know walking and hiking has worked wonders for my mind, however I'm not going through anything near what you are.

    Best and take care!
  • asoule9
    asoule9 Posts: 13 Member
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    2 kids football and soccer prevents me time. I'll give it a try when I can. Thank youb
  • Bazz0r
    Bazz0r Posts: 26 Member
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    Hey, try eating whilst distracting your brain, I haven't been through a seperation, however with something else I found eating whilst watching a TV show helped a lot.
  • asoule9
    asoule9 Posts: 13 Member
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    I don't want to be separated. My husband says he needs some time to think about what he wants?
  • asoule9
    asoule9 Posts: 13 Member
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    I've lost 36 pounds since we separated and it's not from trying.
  • leanjogreen18
    leanjogreen18 Posts: 2,492 Member
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    asoule9 wrote: »
    I've lost 36 pounds since we separated and it's not from trying.

    Hopefully I'm not making a joke too soon but....revenge body:).
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
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    I know that this might not be the best helpful advice, but if any of this weight loss is outside of you needing to loose weight, then when you are ready, you need to sit down and decide how to make eating a priority just like everything else you HAVE to do in order to get through life.

    You might not want to eat, enjoying eating, but you HAVE to to stay healthy. Stress is evil and harsh on the body! I do hope you find how to work out these things going on your life, and what ever direction that is or will be, come out stronger on the other side!!
  • sunny_d22
    sunny_d22 Posts: 316 Member
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    asoule9 wrote: »
    I don't want to be separated. My husband says he needs some time to think about what he wants?

    I'm going through something similar right now and it sucks! It is incredibly painful, but time will help. I'm having trouble eating as well, but I noticed I feel less bad when I make myself eat and sleep.
  • Muppyooh
    Muppyooh Posts: 290 Member
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    asoule9 wrote: »
    Recently separated from my husband which makes it difficult to eat. The pain is unbearable. Anyone have any tips to get past this painful time


    Omg. Going through the same thing right now. I don't know how to handle it.
  • tony56pr
    tony56pr Posts: 141 Member
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    Sorry from a stranger dont mean much, I know but i am sorry to hear.
    Everyone is different of course. It just takes time, I know that is likely normal response but what helped me thru might not help you at all. You just adapt over time, it took me right around 5 years to truly get over my ex wife, so I know all too well. Concentrate on kids 1st, then force yourself to eat good (not too much or too little) make time for you to do something(s) you enjoy (even if 10 mins before bed, read, yoga, hobby etc). Writing in journal helped me, i could put frustrations down and let them out at same time. Best of luck
  • asoule9
    asoule9 Posts: 13 Member
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    @johunt615 I wish. He lost 50 pounds and looks awesome. So I still feel like the fat wife he doesn't want anymore.
  • asoule9
    asoule9 Posts: 13 Member
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    I appreciate all the advice from everyone. Thank you. I know what my focuses are and so I need to take it day by day. It really kind of helps to talk to strangers about it. I will do my best with the eating but it's really not easy. I guess time will help there. #1 focus the kids. My son is almost 11 playing his 6th year of pop warner football and my daughter is 7 starting her second year of soccer. I'm proud to be their mom that's for sure.
  • Shells918
    Shells918 Posts: 1,070 Member
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    I had the same thing happen, to the point where i couldn't even go grocery shopping.Try to find things that you know you like to eat, and then try to eat half. I did a lot of walking like @johunt615 said. Every morning, at lunch, after work. It was the only thing that kept my anxiety at bay.
    Sorry you're going through this but it does get better.
  • arleban
    arleban Posts: 369 Member
    edited August 2016
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    It is so damn annoying to say this, but...time will help. I hated every person that told me that when my wife left, and after she said it was over, then after our disillusion...but here I am. I'll deny I typed this to anyone I know in real life but I cried myself to sleep for four straight months. I understand your pain, and I'm sorry you're going through it.

    Right now, get yourself in survival mode. EAT. SOMETHING. You have life, you have kids. You can't leave it all. If you need to just get from day to day, do so. Try to do something little for yourself if you can though. A little walk, even read a few paragraphs from a book you like if that's all you can handle. I don't agree with the "throw yourself into everything so you don't have time to grieve" approach as grief is important to work through, but don't let yourself wallow in it.

    You may not see it now, but this is time where what you want should be considered. Is there something you wanted to do that he never wanted to? Try it out! Even if you are totally completely absolutely positive there is no way ever you will ever ever ever have a good time ever again...do it. Being able to experience something different than your normal routine will help you break through that grief to see at least sometimes everything doesn't suck.

    Time though. yay. As much as it is cliche, it's true. Time will help ease some of the pain. It will make it easier to see what went wrong. It will make it easier to get up and keep going. Just give yourself that time. Don't give up now.

    For what it's worth, I hope this separation lets you and your husband get back together and work through whatever is wrong and make a stronger bond for you both. I am a sap and like happy endings. But however it goes, talk with someone. Professional if possible. I've found it tremendously helpful, even if sometimes it's just me babbling for an hour. :) Sorta like this post, I guess.
  • asoule9
    asoule9 Posts: 13 Member
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    @arleban I love everything you said. Thank you very much. I hope he comes around. But your right I won't wallow in it. I'm a great mom and person and if he can't find a way to put in the effort to make it work then I deserve better. Thank you for your kind words they made me cry in a good way.
  • arleban
    arleban Posts: 369 Member
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    asoule9 wrote: »
    I'm a great mom and person and if he can't find a way to put in the effort to make it work then I deserve better.

    You're damn right.
  • Lonestar5715
    Lonestar5715 Posts: 466 Member
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    I am currently separated as well although in my relationship it was I who needed some time.

    I like the advice arleban gives and would only add focus on the things you can change. As much as our minds like to understand and dissect the events of our lives, most of it we cannot affect anyway. So focus on what is directly in your path and don't feed any negative thoughts by spending time on them. Best of luck to you, I hope all works out to your benefit.

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