New to everything and need some help

BostonmamaX2
BostonmamaX2 Posts: 1 Member
edited August 2016 in Introduce Yourself
Ok I'll try to keep this somewhat short. For the first 23 years of my life, I never had a weight problem. I was an average kid, and a thin teenager. While I was thin in my teens, I was never really in shape. Didn't really exercise or play sports. I just relied on my young turbo charged metabolism. In college I gained a little bit was still at an ok weight, still not much exercise other than walking everywhere. My final semester at college, I simultaneously dumped my cheating bf and discovered I was pregnant. He took off, claiming it wasn't his so for the last almost 13 years I have been raising my daughter. I gained a lot during my pregnancy but managed to lose some of it, albeit very slowly. I reconnected with my boyfriend from high school and we ended up getting married in 2010. He has been an incredible father to my daughter, who has seen him as her dad since she was like 4. We also share a son who is turning 4 in October. I started that pregnancy off already overweight but managed to gain only about 20lbs or so. That weight is still there. I was never a real fitness person so the whole world of dieting, working out, etc is very foreign to me. I know what to do in my head but doing it for real is very hard for me.
For a while my husband was even more out of shape than I was. Until recently when he finally wanted to make a change in his life. He realized he was getting too tired to play with the kids. So the start of this month he started a 30 day water cleanse and began walking/jogging about 3 miles at least 5 days a week. He works in Boston and walks part of the Charles river, for anyone who knows the area. He has dropped some weight and feels better. I want to be happy for him but I'm afraid I am going to resent him. I am home with the kids all day. I do not have the chance to walk 3 miles a day. I get outside and play ball with the kids but I know I need more activity. I am trying the water cleanse with him, although I do need my coffee in the morning. After that, all I've been drinking is water and I don't feel any different. He wants to do this together but it seems like it's all him. Even on weekends, he will go for his walk/jog for about an hour. I'd love to go but I can't leave the kids alone. They fight constantly. He is so into his routine that he won't change it up unless he absolutely has to and even then will rework his schedule so he can get a walk in.
I feel like all I do is make excuses but between being home all day with the kids, having no car to go anywhere and then to hear from him how great he feels and that all I have to do is get up earlier and I can fit in some exercise. I consistently get pretty bad nights sleep. I toss, turn, am too hot or cold, have to pee, etc. plus my nose gets stuffed up at night. Again, sounds like excuses but it's hard to get up earlier than I do when I get only a few hours of actual sleep a night.
I am happy my husband is taking better care of himself. For a while, the thought that he would keel, over from a heart attack was scaring me. I don't want him ever have one but certainly not when the kids are so young. I need to find ways to get some exercise in. My food choices are all over the place, ranging from good to horrible. We have cut down on fast food and I am trying to make better choices when we do eat out. At home I try to always have either veggies or a salad with dinner. But I also have a weakness for ice cream. My husband has tried smaller portions but hasn't really changed his diet much, other than only drinking water. I'm ok with only water, as long as I can have coffee in the AM. I don't care about soda although I do miss some iced tea with dinner. I put fruit in my water to flavor it.
Ok I tried to keep this short. Sorry it went long. Any advice for getting started would be great. I hate feeling so blah all the time and I really don't want to resent my husband for getting healthy. I feel worse about myself for those thoughts than for all the weight I'm carrying around.

Replies

  • AEgbokhan
    AEgbokhan Posts: 8 Member
    edited August 2016
    Hi, I'm new to the app so sorry if my advice isn't app specific however I have been into many stage where I start and stop being health. What I'm now finding is that I need to keep to a regime like planning my meals and what exersise I do when. This has worked well as I like order and dont want to get out of order. I know this approach won't work for everyone but it is what I don't. I hope this helps.
  • fitflashy
    fitflashy Posts: 22 Member
    BostonmamaX2 wrote: »
    Ok I'll try to keep this somewhat short. For the first 23 years of my life, I never had a weight problem. I was an average kid, and a thin teenager. While I was thin in my teens, I was never really in shape. Didn't really exercise or play sports. I just relied on my young turbo charged metabolism. In college I gained a little bit was still at an ok weight, still not much exercise other than walking everywhere. My final semester at college, I simultaneously dumped my cheating bf and discovered I was pregnant. He took off, claiming it wasn't his so for the last almost 13 years I have been raising my daughter. I gained a lot during my pregnancy but managed to lose some of it, albeit very slowly. I reconnected with my boyfriend from high school and we ended up getting married in 2010. He has been an incredible father to my daughter, who has seen him as her dad since she was like 4. We also share a son who is turning 4 in October. I started that pregnancy off already overweight but managed to gain only about 20lbs or so. That weight is still there. I was never a real fitness person so the whole world of dieting, working out, etc is very foreign to me. I know what to do in my head but doing it for real is very hard for me.
    For a while my husband was even more out of shape than I was. Until recently when he finally wanted to make a change in his life. He realized he was getting too tired to play with the kids. So the start of this month he started a 30 day water cleanse and began walking/jogging about 3 miles at least 5 days a week. He works in Boston and walks part of the Charles river, for anyone who knows the area. He has dropped some weight and feels better. I want to be happy for him but I'm afraid I am going to resent him. I am home with the kids all day. I do not have the chance to walk 3 miles a day. I get outside and play ball with the kids but I know I need more activity. I am trying the water cleanse with him, although I do need my coffee in the morning. After that, all I've been drinking is water and I don't feel any different. He wants to do this together but it seems like it's all him. Even on weekends, he will go for his walk/jog for about an hour. I'd love to go but I can't leave the kids alone. They fight constantly. He is so into his routine that he won't change it up unless he absolutely has to and even then will rework his schedule so he can get a walk in.
    I feel like all I do is make excuses but between being home all day with the kids, having no car to go anywhere and then to hear from him how great he feels and that all I have to do is get up earlier and I can fit in some exercise. I consistently get pretty bad nights sleep. I toss, turn, am too hot or cold, have to pee, etc. plus my nose gets stuffed up at night. Again, sounds like excuses but it's hard to get up earlier than I do when I get only a few hours of actual sleep a night.
    I am happy my husband is taking better care of himself. For a while, the thought that he would keel, over from a heart attack was scaring me. I don't want him ever have one but certainly not when the kids are so young. I need to find ways to get some exercise in. My food choices are all over the place, ranging from good to horrible. We have cut down on fast food and I am trying to make better choices when we do eat out. At home I try to always have either veggies or a salad with dinner. But I also have a weakness for ice cream. My husband has tried smaller portions but hasn't really changed his diet much, other than only drinking water. I'm ok with only water, as long as I can have coffee in the AM. I don't care about soda although I do miss some iced tea with dinner. I put fruit in my water to flavor it.
    Ok I tried to keep this short. Sorry it went long. Any advice for getting started would be great. I hate feeling so blah all the time and I really don't want to resent my husband for getting healthy. I feel worse about myself for those thoughts than for all the weight I'm carrying around.

    Hi there totally get your post. We can be buddies tou like. I am in a similar boat. I am at home with 2 kids ALL day (mom of 4), husband works and can walk on lunch breaks. For me it takes more preperation, just got a 2nd car so still getting used to that with budget. Send me a friends request we support each other. I can also share some tips that work for me.
  • mnvicke
    mnvicke Posts: 103 Member
    What about taking your kids on a walk with you? It may take a longer time, and with a 4-year old, you probably won't be able to walk as far as you'd like, but it would be a way to get some extra exercise in. Plus, it would introduce the kids into a healthy lifestyle at an early age. :)

    Also, don't forget - even people in prison quarters are capable of working out. It doesn't take long walks or fancy equipment to do push-ups, sit-ups, jumping jacks, squats, planks, lunges, etc.

    Lastly, I can completely understand how you could feel frustrated - even a teeny bit resentful, if I may be so presumptuous - of your husband and his "freedom" to exercise while you have to care for your children. Have you sat down and had an open and honest conversation with him about how you are feeling? I learned the hard way that my husband is NOT a mind reader. Having a calm discussion about how I feel is sometimes the most productive way to approach things, in my own experience.

    Best of luck in everything!
  • oocdc2
    oocdc2 Posts: 1,361 Member
    BostonmamaX2 wrote: »
    I'd love to go but I can't leave the kids alone. They fight constantly. He is so into his routine that he won't change it up unless he absolutely has to and even then will rework his schedule so he can get a walk in.

    So...when does mom (you) get a break? Ever?

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