Trouble staying motivated

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Every morning I wake up with the intention that "today is the day, I am going to get on track, stay on track and do this for good!"...I do ok through breakfast, lunch and even dinner...then somehow I always fall off and binge at night...it's happened for as long as I can remember and I just don't know what to do anymore to get my head in the right place.

I have Type II diabetes and high blood pressure and take meds for both. I'm a full time nursing student and a stay at home mom to an incredible 4 year old girl...I struggle constantly with the thought that one day I am going to go to sleep and not wake up the next morning...I can't even tell you how many nights I've cried myself to sleep out of fear...vowing that the next morning everything would change and I would be on my way to a healthier life...and then as usual I mess up...

My fiance and I both struggle with our weight and need to lose it badly...I just wish I could find a way to stay motivated and stick to my plan and actually do this...I know all the reasons I need to do it...I just don't know how to make that motivation stick...

I'm tired of taking things for granted and really want to get serious with this, I'm tired of worrying all the time if I'm going to be around to watch my kid grow up...I need some friends on here with similar goals to help keep me accountable or give me advice on things that worked for them...anyways thanks for reading...

Replies

  • melmaurice0
    melmaurice0 Posts: 8 Member
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    Nights are hardest for me as well. I don't know if its sound advice, but what has worked for me so far is eating a small breakfast, medium lunch, and large dinner (all together within my calorie goal for the day with maybe a little extra for a small snack before bed). I found I was able to push through the day knowing I had a satisfying dinner waiting for me, but being hungry before bed is just not doable. Also, I hardly ever ate breakfast before changing my diet, so eating small amounts in the morning is much easier for me.

    Maybe start with small changes, not a full overhaul all at once. I think of weight loss as a casual stroll, rather than a sprint. Take the time to find the path that works for you, and pick up speed later once you're comfortable

    If my husband hadn't decided he wanted to lose weight as well, I never would have been able to make it work. I give in too easily when someone asks if I want to take it easy and grab some takeout. The buddy system might be helpful.

    Now that I'm close to my goal I find it harder not to snack. My motivation is dwindling. If you want, feel free to add me as a friend. Good luck. I hope you find what works for you. <3<3<3
  • rejeanah
    rejeanah Posts: 27 Member
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    Add me too if you want...I'm struggling too
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,182 Member
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    I suggest you quit thinking of it as 'staying motivated'. You mention being a student nurse. One of my daughters went through nursing school and I know it is hard. She didn't quit because she had decided to do it. You are not going to quit nursing school because you have already decided to do it. That calorie deficit thing, just decide to do it.
  • slbale
    slbale Posts: 24 Member
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    I was down 40 lbs... Then I went on vacation... I am now up almost half of what I lost, I'm SO mad at myself for allowing it to happen, yet, like you, I wake up every morning with good intentions, and then as the day goes in, I start to over snack... How do we make ourselves accountable! I to need to do this for health reasons! We need to get our head back in the game!
  • mnvicke
    mnvicke Posts: 103 Member
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    Your post reminds me of myself.

    I have the best of intentions when I wake up. As the day goes on, I think "just a bite of ____ won't hurt." God help me if we have sweets in the house. And what's really bad - I cook from scratch, so I don't have to have store-bought goodies.....I can whip them up anytime I want. I've got to work two fold: both on discipline and also on nourishing my body instead of feeding myself unhealthy food because I think I'm craving it.

    I don't have children yet - but that is a worry of mine. I've got that voice in my head saying "you're too fat to have children"...... I constantly think "Would it be a healthy pregnancy? Would there be delivery complications? Would I be able to keep up with the rigorous demands of a baby?"

    We're always our own worst enemies, aren't we?

    Anyway, if you're looking for a support buddy, I'd be happy to help in any way I can. I wish you all the best.
  • aud82
    aud82 Posts: 30 Member
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    I want junk at night too. I read somewhere if you can pinpoint the trigger, make a plan ahead of time and then change your routine. Changing how you're going to deal with a problem before it happens can help prevent it from happening to behind with. So if you know you want cookies before bed, eat something Better for you, like yogurt instead. It's still sweet, but half the calories (or more). You don't have to do without, just trick your body into thinking it got what it craves...Good luck!!
  • rankinsect
    rankinsect Posts: 2,238 Member
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    I always plan my days in advance, and I leave calories for the evening snacking I know I will want to do.

    For me, it's not about logging what I eat, it's about eating what I logged.
  • wibblywobblymom
    wibblywobblymom Posts: 22 Member
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    Thank you everyone for your words of support and encouragement and all the wonderful advice!!!! I really appreciate it and am definitely going to try some of these things to hopefully find a way to avoid the things that trigger me and move forward to a healthier lifestyle! I did mess up last night AGAIN but woke up today feeling more confident that I can make the necessary changes I need to make :)
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
    edited August 2016
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    There has already been some really helpful advice. I'd like to add/reiterate a few things:

    Babysteps! Start slow. Make little changes and keep doing those things until they become habit then add another change. Right now, that change should be getting into the habit of weighing and measuring your food and logging every single thing you eat and drink; everything down to chewing gum and vitamins. You don't need to change what you're eating or how much you're eating yet, just log it all and be brutally honest with yourself. You may not like what you're seeing but you'll learn a lot more if you can correlate what you're eating, with how many calories it contains.

    If you don't own a kitchen scale, buy one and use it. Most food should be weighed, not measured, even salad dressing and peanut butter packaging gives servings in grams. If you're inaccurate with your logging your results will not be what you think they should be.

    After a week or so of logging, look back over your diary and figure out where you can make some substitutions that will have big impact. Smaller portions at meals. Swapping one or two sweetened drinks with water or something zero calorie. Strive to stay at or just under the calorie goal MFP sets for you every single day. Don't worry about sugar, carbs, fat and protein for now. Once you get logging and staying under your calorie goal you can focus on those things including figuring out your TDEE, BMR, etc.

    Since you're struggling with eating at night, plan for that. There's no right time of day to eat or not eat; you should eat when it fits you and your schedule. So have a small breakfast or skip it altogether. You could choose to have a big lunch and a small dinner and have 200-300 calories set aside for a snack after. Then eat your snack with a plan and set some ground rules. Don't sit in the kitchen and eat. Don't take the Costco size bag of your favorite treat to the living room, either. Measure out a portion of food with a food scale and take that into the other room. Eat it slowly, enjoy it and when it's gone, it's gone. If you get hit with the desire to eat again find something to distract yourself. Play with your daughter, take up a hobby that requires clean hands like needlework, brush your teeth.

    Exercise isn't needed for weight loss but it's important for fitness and overall health. Don't join a gym right away (babysteps!) just start moving more. Park at the back of the parking lot, take the stairs instead of the elevator, walk on your breaks at work. Later, find an exercise activity that you like whether that's walking, running, swimming, biking, Zumba, or whatever. If you like it you'll be more likely to stick with it. Working out shouldn't be something you dread each day. Again, get the family involved. Go for a walk together. Play ball or skip rope or just put on loud music and dance. Make it fun and instill a love of exercise in your daughter.

    Take "before" pictures so you can better judge your progress visually. Results on the measuring tape are more important than those on the bathroom scale. Measure your chest, waist, hips, thighs and any other body part you want to track and start recording them in MFP now. When the scale isn't moving your body might still be shrinking especially if you're lifting weights.

    The most important thing right now is that what you're doing is sustainable. You shouldn't be trying to reach an end goal weight but changing your eating habits for life so you don't gain the weight back later. That means that whichever way you're eating while you lose weight should be the way you plan to eat once you reach your goal.
  • ellebreedlove42
    ellebreedlove42 Posts: 101 Member
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    I found my motivation as of late in TV- who would of thought! I stumbled upon my 600lb life. I have 5 kids, had gestational diabetes but I'm afraid I have type 2 now because after giving birth I gained 30 more! With kids who , let's face it , you can generally give whatever to within reason it is hard to stay on track :" might as well finish off their macaroni, chips, and ice cream".
    After watching that show however, I felt for those people and realized a bad habit now can lead to a really bad bill of health later . I can't afford to die before my kids are 18- my husband is an amputee.
    Your daughter needs you to get healthy so chin up superstar and make positive changes today for a better tomorrow!
  • RTCfarms
    RTCfarms Posts: 10 Member
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    I thought it was one of my posts! I feel the same thing! I struggle with sticking to a plan, staying on track, and resisting temptations.

    I also have cried myself to sleep with anxiety over my health and if it's failing and if I'll wake up! My goodness we are so similar!

    I am also struggling to find my path again! I have successfully lost about 50 pounds then got pregnant again and gained about 20-30 of it back and haven't lost it after the second baby!

    I seriously need to get back on track, back to tracking everything, using my Fitbit (I would like a new one), and being a better me! I felt so great when I had lost my 50 pounds. I looked better, I felt better, and I was much happier with myself!

    I also feel like having partners and helpers along the way is so huge!

    Good luck! You can add me if you would like! If I know someone else is counting on me it'll help me be more accountable and motivated too!
  • jules0498
    jules0498 Posts: 16 Member
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    Definitely add me! I'm struggling with accountability of getting in my steps and journaling. I need all if the help I can get!
  • NannersBalletLegs
    NannersBalletLegs Posts: 207 Member
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    I often struggle with this as well. One thing that sometimes helps is to find alternative activities to snacking. Work on a hobby that you can really get absorbed in, call an old friend or loved one who lives far away and catch up, work on that novel/ musical instrument/ sewing project/ or whatever you've been meaning to get into. Experiment with your hair or makeup in the mirror, or paint your nails. Have a soak in the tub. You know, just do something for you. I can't speak for anyone else, of course, but I know that I often turn to snacks as a substitute for other kinds of self care, or for company when I'm feeling lonely. The former is especially a problem when I've been doing work that I don't particularly enjoy or doing things for others all day. When I'm done for the day, I just want to take care of and nurture myself after having stifling my own needs for so long. When I'm feeling this kind of self-care deprivation, I can tear through the kitchen like a hyena, eating everything in sight until I'm completely numb. I'm finally learning to allow myself other kinds of activities that I enjoy instead, and it seems to be working. So, in essence, maybe think about what you really want/ need and then allow yourself to do that thing. I also liked what another poster said about eating light for most of the day to make room for bigger meals and snacks at night. That kind of strategy is also working for me pretty well now. Good luck to you. I know it's hard.
  • Loug1983
    Loug1983 Posts: 89 Member
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    I've found the light breakfast and lunch followed by bigger evening meal helped me too, I know if I'm not satisfied in the evening I will start searching for snacks!

    The advice of starting slow I've heard a few times too, losing weight is going to take a long time so why dive in if you can't stick to it? I've tried several times sticking to the 1200 calories and failed time and time again, this time I have accepted that it's just unrealistic, I've prepared myself for the fact that it isn't going to happen over night so I have a higher target and I've found it much easier this time! If you can't stick to the suggested limit then do as someone else advised and just track your calories for a little while then work on reducing them slowly, within a few weeks you should find you are eating your limit and while a few weeks might seem a long way off it might be that doing it that way gets you there quicker than trying to limit yourself each day and not being able to stick to it!
  • SBrittanyB
    SBrittanyB Posts: 1 Member
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    "Every morning I wake up with the intention that "today is the day, I am going to get on track, stay on track and do this for good!"...I do ok through breakfast, lunch and even dinner...then somehow I always fall off and binge at night...it's happened for as long as I can remember and I just don't know what to do anymore to get my head in the right place."

    Whoa.. this hit me hard! I felt like I was reading my own thoughts out loud.. I recently told my husband that I don't understand why I always sabotage myself when there is so much I want in life. More children being at the top of that list. I do so well and have all hands on deck... until the sweets/carbs cravings kick into high gear and I rummage through the cabinets looking for something, anything, to get my "fix".

    Just over 6 years ago my grandmother (more like a mom to me) passed away at a young age of 60 years old. I lost my best friend. She had struggled her whole life with weight issues. Food was her friend not her fuel, and she instilled these beliefs in me as well without me even realizing it. At her heaviest, she weighed over 400 lbs and was basically incapable of much physical activity. Diabetes, high blood pressure, and many other health issues led to her young death. In the 9 months leading up to her passing, I realized I was looking at my future self when I looked at her and knew I needed to change. I lost 110lbs using both good food choices and exercise, vowing I would never be the old me again... my motivation was to be around for my daughter for as long as I possibly could. But somewhere along the way I've lost the drive I once had. It plays through my head like a broken record. I know I need to change, yet the scale still climbs to a scary close # to my heaviest and unhealthiest weight. That hurts. Even more so as I write this knowing I never wanted this to be me again... and here I am, 25 lbs from that dreaded #! I did this to me.. no doubt about it. Situations, relationships, stresses...becoming a mom at 16, they all played a hand.. but overall it's me.

    I'm now 27. I have a major low back problem that I've dealt with for about 10 yrs and will possibly be needing surgery if injections don't help. Being heavy and unhealthy isn't helping my back issues. And will be even worse help if I undergo surgery to repair it. Time to get serious. Not just say it, but do it kind of serious. I would love to have some accountability through friends on MFP! Add me! Sorry so very long... and thank you for posting your struggles!
  • aimjolie
    aimjolie Posts: 60 Member
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    I read all your posts. I understand completely all of the struggles that everyone is dealing with. I too deal with all these issues. I love food, sweets, junk food, and late night snacking. It makes the pounds just pile on. Now I have major knee issues and I'm always in pain. What is helping me to log and trying to stay on track is my knees. Every time I reach for some kind of sweet or junk food, I think this is going to cause weight gain and put even more pressure on my knees. I don't want to wind up with knee replacements or be in a wheel chair, so I am seriously trying to eat nourishing healthy food within my calorie limit. I know this will bring down my weight and my knees will thank me.
  • TRIX5884
    TRIX5884 Posts: 318 Member
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    Oh my goodness! This is me - written all over - everyone here that is struggling - we all feel each others pain! I'm actually slightly blown away - knowing how many people are dealing with the SAME thing! Positive energy! Positive thoughts! We can all get through this and get it done!
  • ksz1104
    ksz1104 Posts: 260 Member
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    I do the same thing. I start out great at breakfast and by dinnertime I have completely screwed everything up. However, since I was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, I realized /I have to do it or I wont be around to see my 2 year old graduate college.