Addiction to food,and not just a little bit!

Jolenetaylor5513 · August 2016

where to start, oh gee why not my slide down into I deep dark hole in life.i was never a skinny girl but I also didn't used to look like barney. It started when I became a mom and all I did was stay home and eat. And I don't mean just a little a whole bag of chips and whatever else I could possibly shove into my mouth. Ugh it was disgusting! My poor daughter was always in front of a TV. I didn't notice I had a problem till I found myself going from 200 to 260. I realized something needed to be done, so what I "did" was eat more because what did I have to lose. My once just depression turned into a terrifying addiction. Not just was I eating I was hiding it from my bf and my family. I would dream and think about food so much that it was affecting my life. Then I went from 260 to 300 pounds within about 2 months. My mom is my saving grace because she brought it to my attention that I'm going to DIE. And she was right because with the weight gain I had I noticed my legs couldn't take even going to the store. I broke down and prayed and cried for weeks and felt sorry for myself and then pain turned to anger and anger into more depression. I ended up at my heaviest at 310. I needed help and I needed my mother.she came and pleaded with me to stop because my daughter would need me and she told me straight up she didn't want to bury me. It hit hard. It was the moment I told myself no more. I'm only down to 298 but I'm in the right direction. I even walked 4 miles today, and I brought my daughter along in her stroller. My point is when you need help reach for someone. I could also use some encouraging words.

queenliz99 · August 2016

Hi Jolene! 4 miles is great, keep going. Walking is good for the soul.

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p1

You can do this!!

lemurcat12 · August 2016

You are doing great! Walking with your daughter is a good plan. When I got started I focused on manageable steps and one of them was just walking everywhere I could -- it was so helpful.

Not feeling isolated is so important, so I am really glad that you have your mother to turn to. Make use of the community here too, and share when things are getting tough or you feel bad. If you can get therapy at all I'd consider that too, since depression makes everything harder and it does sound like you've been struggling with it (I'm actually thinking about seeing someone for various reasons so I think its a good thing to do sometimes, obviously.)

One thing that helped me a lot when I started was having structure -- an idea of what I was going to eat and when and cutting out the unstructured eating. The great thing for me was having a meal to look forward to or meal planning to do actually gave me something fun to think about when I wanted to eat -- a way to channel my thoughts and a reminder that I'd be eating something satisfying in only X amount of time. Also, since I am an emotional eater, journaling when I wanted to eat or had those feelings that let to reaching for food (often lonely, sad, tired, stressed) was really helpful at first and gave me a place to set little goals and mark little achievements. Changing habits/environment like going for a walk or listening to music or something instead of eating can help too.

Anyway just some ideas that might be helpful, but ignore them if they don't seem that way, as you are on the right path and have taken the most important steps.

pukhtiarmeagan · August 2016

You need to start somewhere. Awesome job on recognizing your issues and making a commitment to get through. I find it much easier to make healthy eating choices when the food is already prepared. Eating junk is easy because it's already prepared (bag of chips) and easy to grab. Prepare healthy snacks for the week ahead of time so they can be the first thing you reach for.
Healthy eating and exercise result in weight lose and all of that makes you feel good, but on another note, have you considered PPD? You may consider reaching out to your doctor to discuss that as a possibility.

cory17 · August 2016

One day at a time. Build those healthy habits, keep up the walking, good for you and your daughter to get out. Other posters made good points, when are your eating times/spots/triggers and decide on an alternative. I have many similiar issues.

mnvicke · August 2016

Just the fact that you are ready and willing to take the first steps is a huge accomplishment.

I've been in a similar position. After ages of avoiding scales, I stepped on one and almost cried when it registered at 315 lbs, earlier this year. I'm down to 295 right now, and just recently got back on MFP (after being off it for a few years). It has been so encouraging and empowering to log my food, my exercise, AND to have the support from so many wonderful people who can relate to my struggles.

If you would like to have someone who knows where you're coming from and can help cheer you on, feel free to add me as a friend. Regardless, I wish you the best. Keep your chin up and plug away - you will do amazing!

ThePrettyHateMachine · August 2016

Baby steps! Same boat here, any loss is a celebration!! I'm currently down 51lbs and I never thought I'd get here. I've felt your pain. Out of breath all the time. Just sitting one day, suddenly getting chest pains, that'll hit you real hard. I've got BED (Binge Eating Disorder) depression, anxiety, PTSD etc. A lot of therapy, a lifestyle readjustment and 1 day at a time. That's what it took for me. Whatever it takes for you, do it. It's worth it, I promise. Add me as a friend if you would like. I've been hacking away at this since May and I don't plan on stopping!

Congrats and keep at it!

SW: 310+
CW: 259
GW: 150"ish"

Addiction to food,and not just a little bit!

Replies

Categories