post whatever the hell you want

The Mental Health Hotline

If you're an obsessive, compulsive press 1 repeatedly.
If you're co-dependant ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities press 3,4,5, & 6.
If you're paranoid, we know what you are & what you want, so stay on the line & we'll trace your call.
If you're delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you're schizophrenic, listen very carefully & a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you're depressive it doesnt matter which number you press no-one will answer your call.
If you're dyslexic press 69696969.
If you have a nervous disorder please fidget with the hash key til you hear a beep, then after the beep wait for the beep.
If you have a short term memory loss please try your call again later
If you have low self esteem hang up because all our operators are too busy to talk to you.

@KinkJarfld Thank you for posting. This is a military tradition for any formal military dining in. It is to recognize those who gave all to the service of there country. Most public servant organizations also adhere to this tradition.