My job is going to be the death of me
kikkipoo
Posts: 292 Member
Hi all, looking for support and motivation just as I'm sure many here are. I recently moved out of state for.my job and have become a workaholic with no friends. This means I am working 60+ hours a week in an office on my butt on the phone all the time. When I go home I'm mentally drained. And by the time I get my kids to bed catch up on my hubby's day there is nothing left to give for myself. Meal planning and exercising takes time I simply don't have and then I snack and stress eat throughout the day on vending machine garbage and whatever TV dinner I can throw in the office microwave. I've gained 40 pounds since starting this job in less than a year. I don't know how to get out of my rut. I'm so depressed not having local friends that it's almost easier to throw myself into my work. My husband has also gained weight and we're both at our breaking points.
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sounds easy but register for a fitness class. You will meet people and feel better.3
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I have also been having the same problem....I am so tired that the thought of cooking a healthy meal or exercising is not in the cards...I have gained about 10 pounds these last 2 months....0
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I hate for it to sound like I'm making excuses but my work hours won't let me commit to a regular gym class.1
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Will this work schedule continue indefinitely?0
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When I had a similar situation (new job, 40 lbs. . .) I committed to just ONE SMALL CHANGE per week. Nothing fancy, but enough so that at the end of the week, I could say, "see, I CAN make time for myself! And after a few weeks, it got easier, and I got better at it.
It's kinda hazy, but as I recall my promises to myself went something like this:
* Week 1: Pack my lunch and some snacks for ONE day-- and stay away from the vending machine.
* Week 2: pack my lunch TWO days--and NOT eat it at my desk. Spend 15 minutes away from my desk on those days-- to eat my lunch without staring at a computer
* Week 3: Try to take 15 minutes every day to NOT eat at my desk. . .
* Week 4: Use those 15 minutes to eat my lunch and then take one lap around the 4th floor hallway of the building (my office was on the 2nd floor)
* Week 5: schedule a date with my husband and put it on my calendar (I think it was for 1 hour two weeks in the future-- but at least I put it on the calendar so it wouldn't just disappear!(
By week 8 or so, I was on my way to pulling myself out of my funk--I was packing my lunch and snacks 5 days a week, keeping my promise to myself for 15 minutes a day NOT in front of my computer to eat lunch, walking around the 4th floor at least once a week, and scheduling a date with my husband (even what we called a "dining table date"--where we'd shut off our phones and just spend 30 minutes to an hour talking about anything EXCEPT work.)
It took another 4 months after those initial two for me to get into a regular twice-a week exercise routine, and to really start seeing any weight come off, but those first two months were crucial.
Setting myself up for little victories (VERY little victories!) got me out of the "I don't have time for this. . . " I CAN'T do this" head game language that was reinforcing my self-punishing behavior.15 -
It seems like taking the time to meal plan and prep is a hassle but really it isn't once you get into the swing of things.
Start small, like make a list of healthy snacks you can bring to work and keep in your desk so you have something on hand that fits into your calorie goal.
Things like almonds,bananas, apples, protein bars can be easily stored in your desk or in a lunch box.
Get yourself a food scale. Learn how to weigh all solids, measure liquids.
Remember this- this is the most important piece of information- weight loss comes down to calories . As long as you eat less then you burn, you will lose weight. So even if you slip up and have an extra snack from a vending machine- just remember it comes down to calories.
Once you really understand that weight loss comes down to calories, it doesn't seem so complicated anymore.
In time you can work on prepping easy fast meals to take along to work. Things like rice with veggies mixed in can be a healthy fast lunch. You can throw in any left over meat you may have from the night before or seasonings to spice it up. I've microwaved a bag of steamable rice and a bag of steamable veggies and then threw it in a Tupperware and re heated it at work many times.
Once your into it, you can plan out healthy dinners and then just cook a little extra to bring for lunch the next day
You can work up to taking a ten min walk on your lunch break or after work before you get into your car. All the little changes do add up!
I also work long hours (I've worked 67 in the past 7 days. I know exactly how your feeling) and i know it can seem impossible at first but it really isn't. You just gotta put a little effort into it. Anything worth having is worth fighting for.
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Since you mention your husband is also struggling, is there a way you two can join forces to ensure healthier meals are prepared?
Meal prepping can be as easy or hard as you want it. If I'm lazy I'll grab and avocado & tuna and mash it together on some wasa crackers. It's actually pretty delicious and requires almost no time to prepare. You could also buy some pre-made guac since avocados can kind of be a pain.
Another quick solution is healthy snack food - cheese slices, deli meat, some crackers, fruit, veggies with dip (buy pre-cut if you really can be fussed or snap peas are awesome),
Right now I pretty much devote either Sunday or Monday evening to making easy to prepare lunches.
Last week I brought - breakfast: cottage cheese, a green apple, healthy muffin lunch: 150g chicken, salad (carrot, celery, raddish, green onion), and a jar of dressing)
This week I have - breakfast: overnight oats and blueberries lunch: Quinoa with premade tomato sauce, some veggies & two hardboiled eggs
I have access to a fridge so I take it all to work with me and it's there all week - no further prep needed.
If you can eat while you work, try and get outside on your breaks and go for a brisk walk.
Unfortunately there is no easy fix that will require less work than you're already doing, but just keep in mind that you'll feel better making positive steps. Depression sucks, and it can be a struggle to get out of it but you have to try and don't be afraid to tackle it from as many angles as you can.
Best of luck!2 -
Those long hours are bad enough but throw in kids and social isolation and I that is a recipe for weight gain. I've been there! I used to work 7 twelve hour days at a time and I was so depressed and couldn't imagine finding time to even care about making friends or meals! I agree with the above post that weight loss is about eating fewer calories regardless of where those calories come from. Maybe a low calorie frozen dinner, meal replacement shake, yogurt with granola? Low calorie food doesn't have to take much time. Healthy whole foods sometimes do but you don't have to start there. Hang in there! I am rooting for you!2
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Use a crock pot for easy prep, healthy meals. There are a million recipes out there. Try to squeeze some time into your weekends for bulk food prep for the week as well.
You don't mention how old the kids are - can you leave them alone for an hour, and catch up with your hubby while you both go for a walk? Or take the whole family for a walk. If not, maybe find a baby sitter. Or a gym with daycare services. Ultimately, CICO will help lose weight. Physical activity and healthy eating will help you feel better all around, if you can find a way to work it in.
You can do this. The advice above about taking healthier snacks, and little walks on your break is great as well.0 -
Hi all, looking for support and motivation just as I'm sure many here are. I recently moved out of state for.my job and have become a workaholic with no friends. This means I am working 60+ hours a week in an office on my butt on the phone all the time. When I go home I'm mentally drained. And by the time I get my kids to bed catch up on my hubby's day there is nothing left to give for myself. Meal planning and exercising takes time I simply don't have and then I snack and stress eat throughout the day on vending machine garbage and whatever TV dinner I can throw in the office microwave. I've gained 40 pounds since starting this job in less than a year. I don't know how to get out of my rut. I'm so depressed not having local friends that it's almost easier to throw myself into my work. My husband has also gained weight and we're both at our breaking points.
How do you feel about your job?
It sounds like it is really affecting your quality of life negatively beyond your weight and might be worth considering a job change/life priority change if this schedule is permanent. No friends, very little time with family, no time to exercise or prepare food, stress... probably not the life you want. I'd think about exploring other options.
For meal planning do a limited rotating menu. Choose maybe 14 dinners to rotate through. Cook double and put the extra in the freezer or use for lunches. Use a slow cooker. If your dh has more time he could do food prep.
You can eat a sandwich or yogurt. You could eat fruit or veggies. You don't have to do a bunch of prep for every meal.
Log your food as best you can. Get up and move a bit on breaks.
There are lots of short workouts on you tube- less than 20 minutes. Exercise with your dh at home.0 -
To the op, I lived this way for years with the same bad results and it was killing me physically, spiritually, psychologically. You have to prioritize your meal planning and exercise no matter what deadlines/expectations there are at work. That may mean other kinds of compromises like spending more $ on bought salads, or whatever it takes to give yourself the means and time to eat real nutritious food and move more throughout the week in a way that makes you happy (cardio, weightlifting, whatever floats your boat). I am SO much happier having taken some control back over my wellbeing. The better you set boundaries at work, the more your job will respect them. You need to come first. The deadlines will always be there, but you don't want to look up years from now and realize you gave your life over to stresses that, in retrospect, seem a lot less urgent and important than your health and happiness.2
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fposte2016 wrote: »To the op, I lived this way for years with the same bad results and it was killing me physically, spiritually, psychologically. You have to prioritize your meal planning and exercise no matter what deadlines/expectations there are at work. That may mean other kinds of compromises like spending more $ on bought salads, or whatever it takes to give yourself the means and time to eat real nutritious food and move more throughout the week in a way that makes you happy (cardio, weightlifting, whatever floats your boat). I am SO much happier having taken some control back over my wellbeing. The better you set boundaries at work, the more your job will respect them. You need to come first. The deadlines will always be there, but you don't want to look up years from now and realize you gave your life over to stresses that, in retrospect, seem a lot less urgent and important than your health and happiness.
This.
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The ways I manage stress are to eat right and exercise.
Plan your meals. That may mean making several meals on the weekends, making double portions at dimner and eating the extra portion for lunch the next day, or a combination of the two. If you cook for the week on Sunday then you can freeze meals for the week. A proper calorie-controlled diet is the key to weight loss and that will make you healthier.
Schedule your workouts. Put them on your calendar and treat them like any other meeting. Live by that calendar for your workouts and everything else. Don't get into the habit of cancelling your time that you schedule for yourself. You have to be in control of your calendar.
Do both cardio and strength training. I love the weights and what they do for my appearance, but when it comes to stress nothing beats runner's high. If you are in a high stress career then you need the help with blood pressure and resting heart rate reduction that cardio provides.
The above will help keep you focused when you are at your desk and help you be calmer while doing it. This means that ultimately you will be more effective at your job. You're not a machine, you have to take care of yourself.1 -
I haven't read anything else yet.
I find when I don't have time I need to make time by waking up earlier and exercising then. That's my preferred method.
What I've been doing recently is exercising as soon as I get home. Which, of course, life gets in the way sometimes (which is why I prefer morning).
The mental drain is the worst part when you're trying to force yourself to exercise. You don't have that drain in the morning. But you are tired in the morning, but it's not bad once you start exercising.
Also, meals my husband does, and grilling is big in our house right now. I like to use the crockpot a lot too because this way I can prep the day before (or even days off) and just throw it on the pot then my husband puts it on before he leaves for the day. Dinner is then done when everyone gets home.1 -
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Is it necessary to work such long hours? That would be a dealbreaker for me.0
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I've been where you are right now. May I suggest that the first thing you need to do is get some positive endorphins working for you. The way to do that is to get some sort of exercise going which will help to improve your mood - believe me - that is the first step. I have a solution for you to try that will not take too much time - get the book "FAST EXERCISE" by Dr. Michael Mosley (English author). With just 4-5 minutes a day (I know you can find time for that) you will be able to get yourself charged. It is a simple explanation of how to do High Intensity Training. You do not need any special equipment - just 4-5 minutes a day initially. I followed this path and found that once I started to feel more upbeat it became easier to cope with work and eat better food. You can get a copy of the book for as little as 75 cents at Amazon. Hope you like this suggestion ---- because if you give up or lose your job or stop functioning then "they win" don't they?0
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I hate for it to sound like I'm making excuses but my work hours won't let me commit to a regular gym class.
Are you doing rotating shift work? I also work 60-70 hours a week, but I know what days I start at 6am vs. 7:30am, etc. I know that on Tuesday mornings, I can go to a 6am class since I don't work until 7:30, or Saturdays I can take a 9:00 class. Other than that, I go to the gym whenever I can fit it in, but I agree with what others are saying. I had no friends/family when I moved where I did for work, and now I have a great group of friends I've met in classes! And I'm someone who NEVER takes classes...I honestly would rather be lifting, but it was really great to meet a group of awesome people and have a motiviating new circle of friends.0 -
You should check out the book called 'thinner in 30' by Jenna Wolfe. Small changes everyday make it easier.. All the small changes add up!!!0
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There is some really good advice here. As a former workaholic and career coach, I'd like to add more.
If you use outlook, or any other shared calendar program, block out time for lunch every day. Even if you don't take it or use it, this will also keep people from scheduling things at lunch because they know you're always available. Start taking this time to get out of your seat, and take a walk. If it's nice, walk outside. If it's cold, put a coat gloves and a hat and walk outside. Even 10 minutes away from your desk will help your mood and your body.
Now block out the last half hour of your day. This gives you the chance to take a breath, clear your head, and finish anything up, and even make a to do list for the next day.
The other thing is to under promise and over deliver.
I used to tell everyone I'd get everything done today, even if it was 4:45 on Friday. And I was always true to my word. Here in the NY/ NJ area we expect everything done yesterday.
What I learned is that not everyone really needs things done so quickly. And I slowly started giving myself more time. I'd tell clients I needed 2 days, then give it to them in 1 day, so I looked amazing, and they got their stuff "early". Win win win all around.
Suddenly I was more productive in less time. I was leaving work at a normal hour and going to the gym. I felt less tired and more energized and happier.
I hope this advice helps. It really does work b6 -
I used to do this at work and it got me nowhere. I was working 60+/week and drowning.
I decided to make a change one day and get back to basics. I focused on the critical 20% of my job, said NO to nearly everyone that was not mission critical, and restricted my work hours to a firm 40. I now get more accomplished as my work is focused. People at work are following this example and we are much more efficient and productive as a company. I calendar everything - including team work outs as we now have a small gym at work.
Do not let work take advantage of your life.0 -
There is so much well thought out advice here. Thank you everyone. I do have vacation scheduled next week and even though I will be traveling I think the time away from work and refilling my social void with some dear friends and family will give me the boost to come back and take back control of my work life balance.0
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