NSV - Clothes I can wear, clothes I'll never wear

It's my own fault really. Despite losing 20lbs, I'm still the same size - UK size 16 (US size 12). The problem was I'd never admitted how large I'd become, and the next size up would have meant failure and relegation to "fat shops".

But scouring my wardrobe, it turns out many of those clothes were too tight to do up. Or had elasticated waistbands. Or were in foreign sizes so no-one would know they were bigger.

And I'd let a couple of size 18s in, because, you know, there's those brands that always come up small. Notably my two pairs of work trousers.

It was when those work trousers started to fall down as I ran for the train that I decided to check out some more challenging clothing that had been glaring sullenly at me from within my wardrobe.

I started with the skirts. One after another, they all slid on. Even that green one from New Look, though it put up a bit of a fight.

Then the trousers. No word of a lie, I must have 10 pairs of jeans and only wear two pairs. Again, they all fit, without attempting to cut me in half at the waist, even when I sat down. Cropped ones, wide legged ones, boot-cut ones, high-waisted 40s-styles ones, they all slipped on. There were even a couple of pairs I'd bought without trying on in the sale, which still had the label on. New clothes for free, yay!

Then there was that one last pair challenging me. The skinny black bootcut pair of jeans. Last time I tried them, it took two teams of a dozen horses to pull the two edges together. When I did them up, all the fat in my entire lower body spilled over into a muffin top the size of a truck tyre.

Dare I? Could I?

I did. I could. They slipped past my thighs and hips and the button slid closed with nary a murmur nor a bulge. I could even sit down and breathe. At the same time.

And yet, there was still that one pair of cream-coloured, cropped linen pants, brand new, still with the label in, that I just can't wear.

I'd bought them in the summer sales last year. Size 18. That size must fit, I figured. They were my last hope for cool summer legwear, yet when I got them home, they gave me such a fearsome camel toe and muffin top that they should be banned by several international conventions.

They remain unworn, label still in, ready to be sold on. This year they are way too big and are going straight to a charity shop!